winterknight

Depends on the person. In Hindu tradition it is said there were many kings who were enlightened. They were running their kingdoms full time. Depends on the person's prior mental experiences and conditioning. Some people are enlightened and live in caves. Enlightenment or not has nothing to do with this choice... depends on the person's habits and emotional and mental background. From the Self's perspective there is no world, only Self. The thought "world" does not arise. You don't need a romantic relationship. Every time you meet someone that is a relationship. Your family, anyone who you talk to, anyone who you buy things from. Your life is already full of relationships. That is all that is meant.

Yes, relationship is essential, because being in the world you will interact with other people. The true purpose of it is to turn you back towards Self, to remind you that the real source of love and security is not out there, but is your nature. To develop more conscious relationships & to deal with emotional turmoil, develop your own peace of mind through self-inquiry. When your actions come from a place of peace, your relationships will automatically improve. That is the #1 recommendation. Start by listening to your own feelings. Can you feel your own feelings? What do you need and want? Do not judge your feelings. Then, learn to listen to the other person's feelings and needs, and try to express to them that you are hearing them. And then express your feelings and needs. It is this communication of true emotions between people that helps relationships. Obviously, all the stuff I have said before -- therapy, writing/drawing/using art to express your emotions, all helps with this.

Can you be more specific? This is too broad a question.

I'm rooting for you! The truth is you can't fail

Intellectualization is a set of concepts that the mind creates. Actuality is what remains when you drop all concepts. Not a state of permanent peace. States come and go. States are for minds. I am permanent peace (even the word "permanent" is wrong, because it is the opposite of temporary... actually the Peace that I am is beyond both... even if the mind appears to be disturbed, I remain Peace). Sure. In a way, a seeker has to carry around two understandings. At one level, the seeker level, there is effort to defeat old mental habits. Basically that means you have to relax and let your mind immerse itself into the Peace that it is -- like lowering yourself into a jacuzzi -- and stop running after other stuff that you think will bring you happiness. When you stop desiring and thinking -- that blankness beyond words that remains is You. Because of mental habits, you may have to remind yourself of this over and over again. But at the same time -- and this is the second, truer truth -- it should be kept in mind that that whole process doesn't exist, and all this time you are in Peace. There is actually no one who to has to "go back" to Peace over and over. And in fact you can safely drop that thought and just be Peace. It is only if you are unable to be satisfied with that do you have to go back to the concept of repeated effort. But eventually you will "graduate" to the higher truth.

The problem is that the mind's point of view is wrong, so really no accurate answer to this can be given. The mind is not a real entity; it is imaginary. So its history cannot be given. It's like asking how old a building in a dream was, or how deep the water is in a mirage oasis. I could give you an arbitrary answer (it took 20 years of practice, I had many repeated realizations, and it became crystal clear last year), but you should know it's wrong. Really, this is a misleading train of thought. There is no distinction between realization and the time to "actually stop identifying." Realization is the knowledge that you never identified in the first place. The thought that it takes "years to actually stop identifying" is itself ignorance. The desire to think of things in these terms will prolong your search. It actually it takes no time at all, because it already is the case. Simply give up thinking and what remains is You, immediately. Correct.

That very question contains an incorrect assumption. The one who identified as a seeker can never stop identifying with the seeker. The seeker is an illusion. I was never that person. I could say "oh, on this day and time I stopped identifying as the seeker" -- because that is what it seems like from the mind's point of view -- but that is actually wrong.

Breathing can be useful to help concentrate the mind. Then you will have to direct that concentrated mind inquiring "who is it that is watching this breathing?" "who am I?" Breathing alone is not enough.

Those are only two different names for the same thing: which is not to cling, not to expect. The reason is that clinging is based on, and grows, the idea that you are the body-mind. Give up and you will be calmer... that calm, that peace, is what you really are.

Again, trying to understand the enlightened standpoint from the unenlightened standpoint is never going to fully happen. But is it not that "there is only now" -- I disagree. The present, past, and future are all illusion. They are all mental concepts. It is not that "there is only now" but that the very concept of "now" and "before" and "later" are all wrong -- or rather, are all mental only. The Self exists beyond time concepts, not in the "Now." Psychoanalysis can take a long time, because the truth is real therapy takes a long time. Insight and change take a long time. It is absolutely the most powerful therapy, however, and its practitioners are the best trained. It is not true that so-called "more progressive" therapies are better. Psychoanalysis itself has progressed a lot over time. To find a good psychoanalyst: google "psychoanalytic institute" <your city> and if there is one, call and ask for a referral. If there isn't one, go to "Psychology Today," search for therapists in your area, and on the left-hand side, where it says "types of therapy," put in "psychoanalytic" -- and then when you look at the person's page, they should have some specific training at a psychoanalytic institute. If you have any trouble, PM me and I will help. Psychodynamic is second best -- it is based on psychoanalytic principles but is usually fewer times per week. Lots of other therapies can help, too, of course, but those are on average your best choices. Honestly gestalt and transpersonal do not have the best reputations. Of course, what also matters is the fit between you and the therapist. Within a couple of sessions you should feel reasonably comfortable with the therapist and should be feeling like you are getting something out of it. If you are not feeling good about your therapist within two or three sessions, bring it up with the therapist. If you are not satisfied with their response, try a different one. Sometimes it takes a couple tries before you match. Yes, couples therapy is a good idea for you and your gf. Again, there's no quick fix for relationship problems. It comes down to trying to listen to their feelings, communicate your feelings, and come to a place of greater and greater emotional honesty, being sensitive to each other's childhood wounds and backgrounds. Will take time and work. Rationality and logical thinking are important for a spiritual seeker to understand the basics of the search. And it may be useful to help solve various personal psychological problems. But in the end, they must be given up so that the truth -- which is extremely simple, direct, always here, and beyond the intellect, can be recognized. The subconscious mind is simply the part of your mind that you are not aware of all the time, that is working in the background. There is a point of no return on the path -- and all of us have passed it. All of us are enlightened already, only we do not know it.

If you really want to know the answer, to this question, then you have to ask "who is driven towards enlightenment?" And that will take you down the rabbit hole... But if you only want an intellectual answer, then it really varies. One Hindu answer is that the soul lives many lifetimes, explores all of creation, sees how empty it is, and craves some permanent satisfaction. So yes, the desire for permanent happiness, for undeniable truth.

No, there is no such relationship, but it's impossible to understand why until you have recognized yourself. All the so-called changes are illusion, and even the idea of a body-mind writing about the illusion is illusion. But look, it really doesn't much matter. This is what happens when you talk about what cannot really be talked about. For the seeker's purposes, they can consider the body-mind something that they don't have to draw conclusions about -- they can investigate the "I" and then later figure out for themselves what they want to call the relationship. If you are in a relaxed, peaceful awareness of things you can just let it be. The next time you feel dissatisfied or irritated in any way, immediately ask "who is it that is dissatisfied?" When you notice any of the "broken TV" thoughts, if they bother you, use that to inquire into the I again. Meditation can be useful preparation if makes your mind peaceful, but someday you will want to know "Who is doing this meditation and why?" That is when you can inquire into the I. Therapists don't need to be on the spiritual path to help you. You are working with them on your emotional problems, and that will help you spiritually. And external structure is not needed -- you will bring the structure by what you talk about. There will be progress. That is absolutely how good psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapy works. But bring your concerns up to the therapist. Yes, Ashtavakra Gita is excellent Hah! Yes parents can trigger us. The source of anger is a certain set of beliefs you have about how people "should" treat you in comparison to how they actually do. And this of course depends on identification with the body-mind. An enlightened person does not identify with the body-mind, so while it may seem from the outside that they get angry, on the inside they are not. Yes, anger is difficult to control. Best things for it are a) therapy, b) self-inquiry (who is the "I" who feels so bad?) c) writing/art/drawing to express how you feel in detail, d) taking action and actually clearly communicating your feelings to your dad in as calm a way as you can. No, you can ask those questions if they work for you. In whatever activity you are doing, the point is -- however you ask it -- to try to orient yourself towards the I. You will know you've found it when the mind is at peace.

I'm not an expert. But there are a lot of common suggestions. Exercise during the day, no caffeine in afternoon/evening, don't work, watch tv, or use computers/phone in bed, don't use computers/phone within 1 hour of bedtime, drink warm milk before bed, have a "sleep ritual" (you do exactly the same thing every night before you fall asleep), take vitamin D supplements if you are short, etc. If you're having serious problems go see a doctor, and if you can, a sleep specialist.

That's why you have to ask who is the "I"? Is it really the one asking questions and getting confused? Or is there a permanent peace and stillness running through all that?

I don't know. I've taken some high doses of psychedelics and they can cause cosmic trips, but I don't think they are either necessary or enough on the spiritual path. But they might be motivational for some people. My belief is that any dependence on an external substance will have to be given up, one way or the other, eventually. Ha, it's my karma, because I also asked a lot of questions at the beginning of my search.

we are anxious and depend on something to soothe that anxiety. it's like a self-medication. sometimes there also grows a physical dependency, so that if you don't take it, it causes a lot of withdrawal pain.

sure, you can do whatever resonates with you. after all, you are already enlightened. it's like you're already in Paris and you're asking how to get to Paris. the key point is that your mind becomes highly concentrated on one thought or activity at all times. any time you have another thought you should be shifting back to that single activity. at some point, you will want to know whose mind is highly concentrated like that, and it will all make sense.

the body-mind is just an appearance, an illusion, within the Self the enlightened person's state is steady and resilient, whereas the child's state is not. 3.2 engage in self-inquiry and the rest of the path and find out for yourself 7.2 get enlightened and discover for yourself 9.2 same 11 same 12 the purpose of art is to answer that question 13 it might 14 start reading. read the Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Vasistha, the Patanjali Yoga Sutras. start educating yourself 15 I don't know; the urge comes 16 when you become a bodhisattva; everyone is automatically saved. no one use trying to understand with the intellect. look into who is asking 17 sahaja samadhi is not dropping off the body. it is there with or without the body. it is your nature 18 I don't know & it's irrelevant to enlightenment yes, but one is conscious of nothing we each need to look into our own nature first... that is the best contribution we can make to the collective issues

Exactly.

Look, people with mental instability act in unstable ways -- they should not blame the spiritual search. They would have done something just like that no matter what. That said, if you are afraid of that -- do what is called karma yoga. Do all your family and other duties, expecting no reward for it. Do it as duty alone. You can pursue self-inquiry even while you do all these activities. There is no need to leave or go anywhere.

Get therapy. PM me if you want help finding a therapist. Yes, it will. If you seek sincerely, infinite love will protect you. But you must not judge HOW it chooses to protect you. You must surrender to it and accept that its wisdom is greater than yours. Don't. It's almost always a waste of time. Spend that effort on your own awakening first -- that is the most persuasive possible thing. 1. Karma just means the results of your prior actions. Technically it is an illusion, so it cannot be fully described. 2. The Absolute Self doesn't "know" in the normal way at all. 3. I don't understand. David is an image of a human being. What would a human being be an image of? 4. Mind is thought. Thoughts are vibrations in consciousness. If you want a detailed system, start reading Patanjali's yoga sutras and commentary. 5. Yes. 6. I don't want to talk about my personal path much. 7. You'll get an exciting cosmic consciousness experience. But it's not enlightenment. 8. It's still fun, but you are not as controlled by it. The spiritual purpose of sex is to turn you inward -- the joy you find there is actually your Self. 9. The mind does, but I do not identify with the mind. 10. When you are enlightened, you do not identify yourself with your wants. Things happen as they happen, and you are happy.

My pleasure. Good luck.

Yes, the end of suffering.

Namaste. Oh and enlightened people cannot become unenlightened, primarily because there's no such thing as unenlightened in reality...

1. yes, well, it's certainly on the way. for example, when you wrote earlier: 'There is a timelessness to it. It does unnoticed by the mind because mind can only understand things by comparison so cannot see what is changeless and always there. Then i try to notice this "thing" and a sinking of the mind starts occurring. Mind calms down because it doesn't feel required to notice what is already here, prior to knowing.' --> this is definitely related but the key thing is that when you have that recognition, there should be a lifting of the burden of effort -- not just the effort of the inquiry -- but all effort. things should feel effortless, at least for a while. because that is your true nature 2. Looking for the I means looking for it through the lens of the mind -- as an object; being the I means knowing yourself as the Self without pinning it down as an object, knowing it directly as the total stillness that is always there