winterknight

yup, sounds fair excellent...

Doesn't matter. You don't need a "fucked" psyche to do psychoanalysis. Far from it. It is by far the best means for seekers to simply understand themselves better.

Behind your eyes? What does that have to do with anything? You experience your vision -- thus your vision cannot be you. "I am the one looking out of these eyes" is just words -- that statement is not the source of your certainty that you exist. It's not like you say "Oh, there is vision, therefore I must be the one looking out of these eyes, therefore I am." That's not what happens. You know that "I am" in a way that is far more simple and direct than all that, that doesn't require logic. It is that feeling of certainty that "I am" that you should be trying to grasp. That is the point of self-inquiry -- to hone in on the source of that certainty.

After the peace of achieving a goal it is only a temporary peace that is contrasted with the extreme agitation that came right before. That is not the peace we are talking about. There is a peace of the mind's own nature that comes from inquiry into the I. If that is the peace you experience, you can simply quietly, calmly, relax your mind in it.

Yes, death is a dual concept. A non-dual concept is something like "The Self is beyond life and death both." And then eventually "The Self is beyond dual and non-dual concepts. The Self is beyond Self and not Self." That sort of thing... Glad you're enjoying my blog. Yes, my book would be a good resource for beginners who are serious. It is not very large, so there's not a lot of filler, though, and so it will take some effort to think through. Feel free to PM with any questions.

Undergo psychoanalysis, follow the path, practice Ramana Maharshi's self-inquiry at all waking moments.

Yes, there would be a significant shift. It'll be dead clear and unmistakable when you have "recognized" the true Self (that's what the "spacious mind" is) -- because the "I" will have disappeared. There will not be a question of what to do, because there won't be anybody to have that question. But another simpler measure is this -- is there dissatisfaction or peace in your mind? If there is peace and contentment even while you are going about doing things in the world, stop inquiry. And when there is dissatisfaction or anxiety or boredom or anything like that again ("Oh, is that all there is? I thought there'd be more" --> that's dissatisfaction)... start inquiry again.

I'm like a broken record on this forum in recommending psychoanalytic therapy for this and so many other psychological issues. Google "psychoanalytic institute <your city>" and find the nearest one and call and ask for a referral. PM me if you're having any trouble.

What you need is psychoanalysis -- the most powerful and intensive kind of therapy. Is your therapist trained in psychoanalysis? For someone who is suffering as much as you, I would easily recommend full-scale psychoanalysis: that's 3-5x/week -- at least, if the therapist thinks you're a good candidate for that. Only specially qualified people are allowed to conduct psychoanalysis. Follow the instruction I gave above if you want to find an analyst, and if you're having trouble, or want to PM me details, feel free.

Yeah, those recommendations aren't going to cut it. No wonder you aren't getting better. What you need is intensive psychoanalysis with an excellent therapist and very likely medication (or are you already taking some?). Google "psychoanalytic institute <your city>", call them, and ask for a referral to a psychoanalyst who is also an MD. PM me if you're having trouble.

So this is the problem with mixing non-dual and dual concepts... it gets to be a confusing mess. Consciousness is not "outside" of mind and thoughts; they are nothing but appearances "within" it -- they are just forms of it. They are "contained" in it, but it is not contained in them. Actually they are not even that... but let's not get too complex. From the standpoint of non-duality, you were never born into this ego, let alone some other ego later. From the standpoint of reincarnation theory (which is not pure non-duality), you keep your ego, and it travels with you from body to body. Best not to think about it too much -- just inquire into the "I" feeling relentlessly and you will find out who you are and you'll understand. Great, good to hear! You would have to explain in a lot more detail what you meant by this. There is no one "dark night." Each person's problems are different.

To me these experiences and powers have nothing to do with spiritual liberation. But of course you are free to have your own definition.

If you are in a peaceful, calm, and, as you say "spacious" mind -- yes, simply keep that at all times. Only if you are dissatisfied, irritated, anxious, bored, etc. -- then go back to self-inquiry and ask who experiences these things.

I wouldn't give credit to anything in the manifest world being "extra special." The entire manifest world is itself nothing but the Absolute.

The truth is everyone is enlightened. But if we want to pretend otherwise, the reason is simple: people are attached to their current identities and don't want to see through them.

Sure, it can help

Ok, from now on I think I'm not answering any more questions about "my" state of mind, the way "I" experience the world, what "I" would do in various situations, etc. All these are irrelevant and maybe even harmful to the Search -- creating false and misleading expectations... the state of the realized one cannot be imagined or described. Find it for yourself and then you will understand.

I wouldn't.

I'm not really interested in being autobiographical here, but I'll answer your questions very briefly: 1. The world is full of things my mind don't know 2. Spirituality means the understanding that one is already attained; as far as life is, all the normal stuff 3. Sure, probably 4. Still deciding 5. Indescribable. Both all the things anyone else thinks they experience and none of them, and not even that is true. 6. Undecided 7. The same as any other experience would be -- both what it is and not what it is 8. Indifference, mostly 9. I am unconditional love, so yes, that is a constant. If you're talking about my body/mind, I don't identify that with me, but, say, 5/10. Ok maybe 6.

Yes this is progress. Good for you. Your work has only just begun with this understanding. So now, next step, hold to that "sense." Meaning keep it in attention at all times, waking and night. Sense that sense constantly.

From the standpoint of the absolute reality, contradiction, limitation, and language all are non-existent.

It's a contradiction of arbitrary terms.

Have you asked yourself who is asking these questions?

When you realize truth yourself, you will see it is the commonest thing, that indeed there is no one who is not truth realized .