winterknight

All these questions are based on a false assumption of ego. Enlightenment does not "give the answers" so much as dissolve the questions, show them to be ultimately incoherent. Yet enlightenment will give you peace -- these questions will not bother you. There cannot really be said to be a dream, Earth, ignorance, delusion, or a spiritual path. Just hearing these words is not worth much, though. You have to see what this means in your own direct experience.

Yeah, you're doing it exactly right. Do not stay with the forehead -- just like you did, you notice that the forehead, where you think the I is, is actually "an object...not the source." So then that "sense of I" that "doesn't seem to have any location"... just keep holding that sense all the time, every waking moment. Keep trying and trying to hold it. If your attention slips, bring it back. From time to time, you might notice that when you think you are holding that feeling, you are actually holding something else -- a thought or a feeling. If so, recognize that, let it go, and come back to that "sense of I." Hold it and hold it, and if anything else comes up, go back to that feeling. Eventually something will click -- you'll know it when it happens. Just do it for as long as necessary. Then even when something clicks, you may seem to lose it again. So then repeat. Repeat. Repeat. You should care about enlightenment because it is the source of ultimate truth and peace. You don't need radical acceptance if you can have something better -- namely, perfect peace. Scientific truth is contingent and uncertain and incomplete. Enlightenment is not like that. It is perfect. You cannot ask someone who is enlightened -- well, you can, but it is not enough -- because it cannot be put in words. Lol, I like that you asked the most important question last. Enlightenment is simply clearing away the wrong belief (and the habits based on that belief) that you are individual person, someone who does things and who enjoys and suffers life. Enlightenment is the recognition that this is an illusion, and that what you are in fact is something which is perfect and complete and beyond words.

Yes, that's a good way of putting it into words, but also notice -- is there something constant between when the thought arises and when it doesn't? The key is seeing the truth in your own experience -- and you will know when you see it because it will bring Peace. To see the truth in your own experience, if you ever feel disturbance, feel where the "I" is coming from -- hold on to it. If it disappears in a peaceful nothing, stay in that. But if you "lose it," again examine what lost it... again hold on to the sense of the "I"... that will lead you back to that Peace. Do it over and over and over again until it sticks.

I don't know. Enlightenment is not about this sort of question. Training to bring meditation into the rest of life. You can learn to swim in the swimming pool, but then you can take it out into the ocean.

Well, I think you should pursue it then. But there might be unconscious psychological obstacles that have prevented you from being successful. I'd recommend getting psychoanalytic therapy (not all therapy is equally good... psychoanalytic therapy is generally speaking the best you can get) -- be prepared to spend a good amount of time and effort if you actually want to get insight into yourself.

Great. I would just add that even the word "relinquish" is not quite accurate. There is no one there to relinquish or not relinquish -- that is knowledge.

No. The question comes from a lack of basic understanding about the meaning of enlightenment. Enlightenment is not really something to be "obtained." You are enlightened already; the goal is simply to remove the obstacles to seeing that. Meditating an hour a day is not enough. Your very nature is meditation: the point is to realize that. To do that, you will have to direct your search for longer and longer periods of time -- you will have to meditate while you are doing every other task in your life. A waking meditation of continuous self-inquiry. You need to educate yourself: follow these links and do a lot of reading.

This is a good start, but you go back to "sleep" because you are not getting to the root of the problem. You need to investigate the "I" that "wakes up" and which "goes back to sleep." So try self-inquiry all day long. And more broadly, follow the path.

You’ve answered your own question at the end. Experiences are not enough. You need practices to return your mind to them in the waking state over and over. Otherwise your latent tendencies will re-arise.

Wise if you accept this idea as a way of living that will help you burn away your ignorance; ignorant if you believe that this is by itself the end of your efforts.

The difficulty, of course, is that there cannot be said to be any game of shadows on the wall. There are no mirages, no "within samsara," no "view of the egoic self," no manifestation of winterknight, and therefore no "choice" of winterknight to either play that game or not.

If you're trying to learn about the path of non-dual spiritual truth, don't limit yourself to blog posts and Youtube videos. Educate yourself by reading the ancients! In the Hindu tradition (which I come from), read the Bhagavad Gita, the Upanishads, Yoga Vasistha, the Ashtavakra Gita, Ribhu Gita, and more. Try to apply, think about, and feel these texts. Ask questions about them. Read commentaries on them. These texts are huge treasuries of amazing wisdom and depth written by unquestioned masters, and they have lasted centuries or even millennia for a reason. You are hugely missing out if you limit yourself to people living today.

For #s 1 and 4: these questions are based one way or another on an egoic perspective. That may be necessary for certain contexts, but in the abstract these kinds of questions don’t really make sense, and I don’t think they’re particularly helpful for seekers. The answers are misleading. Take this idea of “as a human.” A human is a concept, and it is not true. A “shadow” is another not true concept. So you’re asking “from a perspective that is incoherent and false, what is the answer to this question whose terms don’t make sense?” Again, there are certain times that game could be played, and it might be fun to play it, but I don’t think it’s a service to seekers to do that here. Gives them false expectations. That’s why I generally shy away from talking about “my” experience and path. For 2: the koshas are all false, useful only to be discriminated away as “not the true I.” For 3: I don’t know what you mean. There is nothing “in the form of ego” actually.

Well, the bulk of not being able to concentrate often comes down to unresolved emotional issues. Looking at the rest of your life, are you being honest about what you want and pursuing it? Psychoanalytic therapy can be very helpful for this. What is the nature of your distracting feelings? Are there any recurring ones? Pay attention to your emotions.

Bumping this

With the mind calm and relaxed and the Self discerned, the mind is immersed in a kind of immense larder, a huge treasury of fat -- a subterranean store of rich provision, satisfaction. It's like a borderless but breathable block of jello. You are a figure in that jello made from that very same jello. That jello is what is wanted, is what is desired. And you are surrounded on all sides by it, effortlessly. Realize your jello-ness! It can simply rest there in that totality, that fullness, with "events" "happening" frictionlessly within it, mere images projected in that cool sweetness. Only it should not be tempted back by thoughts, various delectable offers to use the energy it now has towards one cause or effort or another. These are like Siren songs... "Should I do this? How about that? Oh that looks good/productive/tempting/wise/interesting." To all of these ideas it should remain relaxed, with its eyes "half-closed' mentally/figuratively speaking... unaffected, tranquil, simply resting in the richness of its environs. It is much like learning to carry a pot of water on your head wherever you go. Whatever happens, don't let the pot fall, don't let a drop of what's in it spill. Or in reality it's actually the kind of opposite of this, because carrying the pot is not a particular activity, it is a refraining from the activity of being diverted by various thoughts/goals/intentions/desires. Let them occur, if they occur, spontaneously and involuntarily. And if they occur, pay them no need, no mind, no attention. They do not require reprimand. And if the bliss comes, refrain from comment on it. "I am enjoying this" <-- one is already out of it. And again, if that happens, no need for reprimand. Simply drop the thought. This Self is the anchor in the changing environment, the one thing that is both “in the dream” and not of it. It's like something which appears in a dream but is actually in reality as well. On one side it's a dream object; on the other side it is not in the realm of objects at all. It's like some kind of anchor which one can hold by letting go of all other things. And don't think about what's good thought or bad thought. That's a distracting thought in itself. That will lead you down a wild goose chase. Good and bad and should and should not are dangerous distractions.

It's not very good, but it is more complete than Venkatesananda.

Oh, and ha, given that my other thread is quoting from the Yoga Vasistha, it's funny that as I was reading it, I came across this quote: Nothing new under the sun.

Another great passage, though this time from a translation that is not supposed to be great. But it's the only full English translation, whereas the Venkatesananda is abridged... this passage deals with how to live every moment... and it's a doozy:

Yes, sounds like your "ego is bad" conditioning has now in your case become the ego. Could be. It wasn't your pain, it was probably the fact that it forced you to let go. Good. Since you mention being conflicted, I'd strongly recommend considering psychoanalytic psychotherapy (I've done it myself for many years, and it is useful for all seekers; it's different from just generic therapy). It specializes in helping move forward from inner conflict. I see you're in Sydney. I'd suggest contacting the Winn Clinic and asking for a referral.

Yes. Maybe for you, that's the issue. Why not stop trying to do all that? If the ego wants to run wild let it. If there's pain and craving and desire, let there be all that. No need to drop any of those things. Just let them stay.

Why not stop trying to drop the wanting and just allow the wanting and craving and pain to go on, just as it likes?

Ok - so suppose enlightenment is all BS. Why is life so painful otherwise?

I'm sorry you're in such pain. Ok, tell me what you've done for your decades of seeking. What have you read? Which teachers have you learned under? Which techniques tried? Have you gotten psychotherapy, if so, for how long and of which type? And what else have you done?

If you find both too difficult, that is actually perfectly understandable. I'd advise following the path I set out here -- which includes getting an intellectual framework and quieting your mind, mainly by focusing on your psychology, all before getting too much into self-inquiry.