winterknight

Shaun, see my post directly above. Get psychoanalytic psychotherapy. You don't need to face this alone, and you shouldn't. It is simply not the most effective way.

Yes. For suicidality, you need therapy. And not just any therapy. Get good psychoanalytic psychotherapy and/or its more intense cousin, psychoanalysis. They are the best kind. They are the kinds of therapy that look deep into your unconscious. (There may also be a need for medication, depending, but a good therapist can help figure that out.) Actually, I recommend psychoanalytic psychotherapy to all serious seekers. It takes serious time and commitment, but it is worth it. 90% of the spiritual search is emotional work, and psychoanalytic psychotherapy is extremely helpful. Search for an IPA training institute in your city or an institute that's a member of the APA or if those don't work, google "psycohanalytic institute <my city>," and contact them. If there's still nothing, or it's confusing, feel free to message me for help. The expression of your feelings in an artistic medium in a specific way called metaphorization can also be very helpful.

One can say that as a playful metaphor, but in fact no ideas are true about ultimate reality. Yes, the mind must be used to kill the mind. Thought is needed for a time, but at a certain point we use it to look beyond it. As to "where thoughts come from and why," the answer is -- do they in fact come? Follow the path and you will find that this question dissolves.

I can't comment on his techniques and ideas. The technique I recommend is self-inquiry as it is explained in this link. But it's not just about one technique. Learn about the path more broadly in these links. And my book lays things out in more systematic detail.

Why not find out if there is suffering to begin with? Look into yourself and you'll find the answers to your questions.

That's one way of putting it, but like all ways of putting it, it's inaccurate and incomplete.

You know what suffering means (compared to pain or otherwise) in your experience. No need to worry about what it means in the "enlightened" experience. Your suffering will be gone. That's the promise.

Don't really answer questions about the experiences of 'enlightened people'; the answers are always misleading. But if you have questions about your path, I'd be happy to answer.

There's no single answer to that question. Anyhow I don't really answer questions about 'my' experience or motivations. Isn't helpful. A guided meditation is an interesting idea. Don't have one yet. Meanwhile, follow these instructions for self-inquiry.

Yes.

It paints false pictures that mislead seekers. Suffice to know that enlightenment is the end of your suffering. All the rest will only make you fantasize about something incorrect and make it harder for you to see the truth.

Why do you want to know the answers to these questions? What purpose would it serve you to know them?

It's ok. Lots of imaginary story-telling metaphysics that isn't that good. Lots of imprecision in the way that enlightenment is explained.

My recommended translation (Venkatesananda) of this classic advaita vedanta text It's not just profoundly wise instruction from the heart of an enlightened master, it is also full of amazing stories and metaphors. The sheer magnificence and magnitude of the ancient Indian conception of reality is just damn cool and mind-blowing. Just one example that I came across a second ago and that I wanted to share. It is actually a king's response to the questions of a vampire (!) about the ultimate nature of reality: "This universe was once enveloped by a series of coverings, even as a fruit is enveloped by its skin. There was a branch on which there were thousands of such fruits. There is a tree with thousands of such branches, a forest with thousands of such trees, a hill with thousands of such forests, a country with thousands of such hills, a continent with thousands of such countries, a sphere with thousands of such continents, an ocean with thousands of such spheres, a being with thousands of such oceans within him and a supreme person who wears thousands of such beings as a garland. There is a sun in whose rays thousands of such supreme persons are found: that sun illumines all. That sun is the sun of consciousness, O Vampire!"

Right. So this may go deeper than this one person, and it may involve forces outside of your consciousness. You can keep trying to imagine different scenarios, see how you feel in each, express yourself about those feelings, and then try different scenarios. That's how you might generate some more clarity. But the other larger possibility is that this sort of anger and confusion is a recurring problem in your life. It might be time to look for a good psychoanalytic psychotherapist (not just any therapist), which I always recommend to all serious seekers anyway. A good one is worth the time, effort, and money. Message me if you have any difficulty finding one. Ah, ok. Well in most non-dual traditions that would be called a guru

No, what is that?

I'm not particularly worried about whether I know it or not... but if you're worried, you should read my posts and see if they resonate. If they don't, I'd consider trying someone else's instruction.

Ha, look at the response directly before this one. You won’t find what you think it is. You’ll know when you’re there for yourself because there is a place beyond doubt. Have you tried following these instructions? You also need an intellectual framework of some sort to understand why we’re doing what we’re doing, which you can get by reading books like mine as well as the scriptures.

Because there is a way of knowing that is not mental. The mind is the instrument of doubt. That way of knowing cannot be explained. Look within and it will find you.

Has he tried self-inquiry as I define it in this link? If not, he should try that.

You should start by sitting and end up doing it at all waking moments -- when you are walking, talking, working, playing, everything.

Even if someone doesn't want to have an honest conversation with you, it can help to simply write down or say out loud what you would want to say to them or ask them. You can roleplay the situation. That can help clarify your feelings. At base your feelings want you to listen to them, to feel them. Also, just generally speaking, I always recommend psychoanalysis and/or psychoanalytic psychotherapy therapy to all seekers. Very helpful with dealing with our emotions. Yes, this is the right direction. The question is who is noticing the witness? And read my link about it (and I have other materials on my website).

Follow the instructions in the link I gave you...

If there can be said to be experience, then there must be an experiencer. But there is a way of going beyond the duality of experiencer-experience. And that way is to look deeply into the I.

The nature of it is that it's a judgment that is made in the mind that feels an injustice has been committed. These feelings are telling you that this is what you feel -- and that you are now in a place to choose how to deal with that feeling. You have many options. You can attempt to communicate your anger, to take it to a higher authority, to try to ignore it, to attempt to forgive it, to express it in art, to take it to a therapist. To understand which option to choose requires that you listen very closely to your real feelings (not what you wish your feelings were), express them, test out different possible courses of action in your mind and in expression, and then see how you feel. And repeat this. Or: take the self-inquiry position and ask to whom this feeling occurs. The point is that lucid dreaming, whatever it is, happens only in dreams. That means it comes and goes. That automatically makes it a state. You are right that it probably touches on a higher truth too, but anything which comes and goes is not the complete truth. I wouldn't worry about third eyes or chakras if you are interested in self-realization. No, satisfy your intellect. What is important is that you are honest about what you want -- not what you wish you want or hope you want but what you actually want. So if you want to know, follow your actual desire. Put 100% intensity into finding the intellectual answers.