Widdle Puppy

Like get rid of my bad habits, the bad emotions, the negative and rigid moralistic thinking, the bad images of myself, the low conscious blahhh sort of fog. Wanting feelings of acceptance, wanting to feel perfect and like I'm fine. Feeling excited and fun. Feeling happy and full of energy.

I think there is a difference between the two attainments. I would say self actualization encompasses your creative capacities and sort of living with your ego in the most healthiest way possible and having the most healthy psychology you could possibly have while enlightenment goes beyond this and is an instantaneous realization that is much more foundational, profound and an infinite shift in perception. The reason you hear of such people becoming hermits is because enlightenment work can be difficult to do when you're tuned into the hustle and bustle of society. That's not to say you have to become a hermit or that doing so at a certain point in time is always going to be helpful. Becoming a recluse can do just as much damage as it can good. That is one of the dangers of this work. You can be walking in the wrong direction while putting in all this effort, kind of like climbing a mountain while blindfolded. So don't think just because one is isolated it is doing good for them or bad. Its going to depend on the person and where they are at and really a lot of things. But I would say in general most people who are going for the ultimate obtainment of enlightenment tend to live fairly low key and private lives just due to the realizations they've had and how easy it is for distractions to lower their awareness. Go do a meditation retreat for a week or ten days through any of the wonderful centers and modalities there are and see for yourself.

I think for the path towards enlightenment it is an aspect of it. Talking and constantly interacting with people can be a distraction and take you out of the moment of being aware. That's not to say you have to go full monk mode but I've noticed most people who are prioritizing enlightenment aren't going out to parties, clubs and interacting a ton with people.

I only want the bad stuff gone though. Why can't I have the stuff I like and makes me feel safe and real and just get rid of the bad stuff?

I don't think it's to be interpreted as an uncompromising or to the tiniest detail kind of checklist which keeps your development in a linear order. These concepts are fluid, dynamic, nuanced and have all sorts of shades to them. You can have gaps in them and depending on how you are framing your life or seeing things they might not be issues for you and you find work arounds. I'd say the first stage needs to be there since it's so foundational and then from there you can be dabbling in the ones above them, for instance you may be neck deep in filling in the second stage, knees for the third, but may only have your feet in the forth and your toes in the fifth one.

No, I don't like how they make me not want to eat and also they are very hard to get in the country I'm in.

It doesn't matter. It's his business. He is human and on this journey just like us. You think he doesn't make mistakes or go through phases where stuff comes up and is hard for him to do his sittings? It's basically a given in this life that roadblocks will come along if you aren't committing to these practices and prioritizing them in your life. I know it's hard to really gage these things but I think it's really difficult to become enlightened in our current western/capitalist society unless you really restructure your life and it becomes the primary thing you work towards. There are so many distractions, the concept of ownership and property and traps that make it hard to reach the end. There's a reason monk practices are a thing. It's so easy to be distracted and chase other things.

It depends what you project onto his videos. I think people who might think similar to him will vibe more with what he puts out while there will be other truth seekers that don't. His videos are good for sort of a logical understanding about a lot of these concepts and I find that they provide inspiration to continue this work. I wouldn't take everything he says so seriously. There are lots of contradictions in his videos but that's life in general. You don't even have to watch everything he puts out or consume every bit of information. You can make great progress just knowing how to meditate and deriving these truths for yourself. He isn't a dogmatic leader or some guru who if you follow will lead you to enlightenment. He stresses the same points as other seekers and teachers of wisdom, independence, love, acceptance, hard work, etc.

Ask for a chair and proper pillows and cushions when there. Depending on the center they often allow you to sit towards the back against the wall. there are back support belts (bring from home) as well, kneeling stools with cushions and extra cushions. Just tell them when you arrive at the orientation about your situation and they will help you if you can't sit with crossed legs and the standard cushion. I prefer back support as well. I don't think it's good to sit in certain positions for so long. They ring bells around every two hours though and that will give you enough time to walk around. Sitting cross legged for more than two hours I think would be bad along with the circulation in the legs but for an hour or two it isn't if you're healthy. make sure to use the breaks to take walks. Don't worry so much about it. They will help you if you tell them your situation and that it would be best if you had back support or sat in a chair. you won't be sitting for longer than two hours without break in between so you will be safe with the right cushion setup.

what retreat did you attend? the few I've been to they allowed for chair and back support for those who might face difficulty sitting with crossed legs. I tend to opt for a back support myself.

it's headed where it's headed. it's just there and that is all.

Sometimes it comes down to acknowledging the blocks that might be there. I have some blocks myself I feel around the more painful and darker aspects of myself , my past and also about the future. There's not need to let everything go at once also. I think for some people it's a process that takes time, patience and willingness to continue and also sort of feeling things out. I went through an experience a little over a year ago where I wasn't able to cry and over time was able to get to a place to start allowing for that. It's not a race. The way I think about these things is that they will be as they be. Also I try to be mindful of my thoughts and not suppress. I let them have their say, but also I don't trust them. I look at them as sort of just information that is more or less as true/false as everything else out there.

Mr. Rogers seems super emotionally aware and really good at communicating in this logical and hostile environment. Listen to the way he speaks about emotions as well, his language and what feels like something flowing through him.

I'm looking for some outlets to become a monk. Part of me feels like it could be my life purpose. My life hasn't been the same since I started this journey almost three years ago and I think I should be prioritizing this more in my life. I'm wondering if there are communities or places I should consider to start working towards to become a monk or live a semi-monk life such as a shared community. Anyone know of such places?

I've had similar experiences when going super deep like meditating for days in a row at a silent retreat. I'm scared also to jump into whatever energy this is. I'm afraid this evil will consume me.

I don't like how it feels... It makes me feel sick. Like I'm not grounded and fake and out of alignment with what's higher and what's true... from this place it feels like I am perverted and just want sex, money and ego pleasing things to validate my existence...

I'd say don't take everything he says so literally but more try to get the essence of the ideas behind his videos. Look at your life and decide what domains you need to work on and what are the action steps you might need to take to improve them.

Been through almost the exact same situation and one very important point about life and growth in general is you have to get comfortable with these paradoxes and contradictions that come up. Yes it might have aspects of a bandaid but it also builds willpower. It's your decision to make and when this resolves itself for you you will know what to do but I will say right now you should keep going until then! That new squat or bench record won't make you happy and that grind you put in for it sometimes question it all like what's the point and yes this is true but there is also another side to the coin On the other hand going builds this willpower, makes you healthy and gives you this confidence to take more risks and try new things. That could lead to other realizations. This is why I go and prioritize it. I know it won't make me happy but it always motivates me to go forward and build this willpower and through this action it lays out sort of a model for me of persistence to continue taking action.

I've not picked up on this. In fact I've always felt he leaves sort of these decisions or suggestions out of his video. He mostly provides to me like general wisdom or ways to start learning more about yourself, emotions, spirituality, etc. I do recall him speaking about doing academically well which was good for him and is often good for other people because it can set you up to be financially secure and give you a good foundation to learn.

Yes, I have this problem sometimes. It also takes the form of money, life, morality, etc. It's like these worries and conflicts are alive and entangled and a big living jumble of worms and organs. It's a bit of a gross way to describe them but that's how it is to me. Like they are these things that are entangled with how I experience life.

We need a "hey this is Leo for actualized.org" but it goes faster after each hey

It's really hard sometimes and I'm coming from a place where I'm not in the greatest place emotionally but sometimes I fear it isn't possible. But I'm here, still meditating, still going to the gym, doing this work even just a bit, so I must not be too far gone.

it relaxes you but really that is it

I am not so disciplined with the actual breathing method of holotropic breathing. Stan grof doesn't teach it to be so specific either. Just follow the general idea of it. You don't have to keep pushing yourself if it's incredibly difficult and making you rigid and focusing so much on the method, but if you are to go down that path then so be it. For me I continue doing it and push myself and when it gets super hard I push myself until it doesn't feel right to keep pushing.

this thread is gross and a meme