FindingPeace

You can't or you don't want to? Get in to a sleeping routine. Go to bed earlier and set an alarm clock for the same time every day. When that alarm goes off, get up right away. No 'just another minute' or whinging and whining. Turn off the alarm, sit up, get out of bed, get a shower and get dressed. Have something to eat and drink. Make it a routine and a habit. Every day. I've had years where I've had to get up around 5 or 6am, and get to work. I keep to the same routine much as I described above. I also don't give myself too much time to complete the routine. 30 minutes is enough from the alarm going off to getting out the door. That doesn't give enough time to sit around and feel tired or drowsy. And to be lazy. In fact it keeps me focussed and busy so I'm not even thinking about how tired I am. Do it for long enough and it gets easier. Getting out of bed with a purpose in mind is what you need. Something to motivate you and think about rather than how sleepy you feel.

@Actualizer @Ire There are a lot of reasons why people become needy - insecurities and fears, lack of abundance, addiction to validation and approval. But above all of these things I see a fundamental lack of taking responsibility for one's life. By that I mean, people who are overly needy generally aren't doing enough in their lives outside of the relationship they are being needy within. They aren't taking care of their own needs and interests. Not going out and being around other people or pusuing personal interests and passions. They generally have too much time on their hands and devote too much attention to the object of their neediness. When you have a more richer and fulfilling life you don't feel so needy and attached to one particular thing or person. The underlying cause is not taking enough responsiblity for creating a life for one's self. The solution is to focus more on yourself and less on the other person. Start taking more interest in other things - hobbies and interests, more quality friendships, even alone time - get comfortable with your own company (this can be a major cause of neediness when people can't stand alone time with themselves). It tends to come down to a fixation on the other person rather than spreading your attention into other areas of life, especially yourself. Absolutely this.

This is the key right here. And this. Why question it. She likes you and doesn't give you any reason to doubt her interest in you. Appreciate her for who she is without putting her on a pedestal. She's a fellow human. You don't need to idolise her then feel inferior. Just accept the realionship for what it is and accept yourself more. Maybe watch Leo's recent video on 'self-acceptance'. It isn't this girl that's making you feel inferior, you already feel that way inside. And it's most likely because you keep judging yourself and comparing yourself to others. You are you. You have your own great qualities - why else would she be with you? Be proud of being you. Clearly other people accept you, so learn to accept yourself.

It seems the obvious solution here is to find someone else that can provide care for your grandmother. It is a huge undertaking to become a full-time carer for someone. It may appear caring and altruistic but it comes at a huge cost to someone's own wellbeing to do this. But some people are afraid of seeming uncaring if they seek to share or even pass the responsibility to others. The bottom line it this: How can she care for someone else if she can barely look after herself now? This isn't sustainable. And what is happening is you are caring for your mother whilst she cares for hers. Ironically it's not doing your mother any good and she could end up needing care in the long run.

If you don't value your health, you will become sick and you will suffer as a consequence. Creates negative results in your life. You can if you like. Do you want to do that stuff? What sort of consequences would that have on your life? More negative results. Everyone acts from their ego doing what they think is right (for them). You included. Maybe you're not a mass murderer but you did just ask if you could become an asshole, punch people and break stuff. So why would you ask that? Then criticise others. You may not agree with Hitler's agenda or the agendas of murderers, but should you respect them? What's wrong with being a slut? Isn't that their choice? How does that affect you and your life? Besides, who are you to judge them anyway? Actually you don't have to think anything about these people. Just worry about your own life. People like that will always be out there, it's just fact of life. You can sit there and judge them or you can get on with creating a life for yourself. 'Better' is subjective. What makes those things better? Does better equal happy and fulfilled? Better for them may not be better for you. You're just looking at the world from a 'deficiency' mindset - "what do others have that I don't have"? As if having something you don't is better and would make you happy. This is an illusion and a trap. Stop worrying about what other people are doing. Yes. Why compare yourself to anyone? You are you, they are them. Your life is about you. And what works for others may not work for you. And you also can't get a true insight in to people's lives from the outside. You have no idea how happy and fulfilled people really are. Just because they appear 'successful' doesn't make them so psychologically or behind closed doors. People spend too much of their lives looking at what everyone else is doing and not focussing on creating their own life. You should be too busy building your own life to have time to compare yourself to others or even care what others are doing. Competition is an ego game. Lose weight and learn how to be more productive. Make use of your strengths but keep working on your weaknesses. It depends if it is something that you truly value and want in your own life. Be careful with this concept of 'success'. It isn't what you might think it is.

People missunderstand the term 'accept'. Accept doesn't mean that something has to stay as it is. Acceptance is preferable to judgment, criticism or denial. People tend to look at aspects of themselves and judge them or deny them. They question them. They become neurotic about them or depressed. Or whatever. Acceptance is to understand that these aspects just 'are' and that there is nothing inherently wrong with that. That it's ok to have these aspects. However, that doesn't exclude the desire to change these things. We can identify things in ourselves, accept them for being there, but see that they can create unhealthy side-effects in our lives. Then we can choose to work on these things and change them. So rather than looking at something about yourself and asking "why am I like this? why me? what's wrong with me? I'm bad, this is bad" etc you should be looking inwards and thinking "Ok, so I have these aspects, it's ok, they are what they are, I don't need to judge them. I can see how they can create negative side-effects in my life so I'll aim to work on them." You've alread judged yourself by calling them 'flaws'. How about not looking at them as flaws, but accepting them as aspects of your psychology that can be improved upon to create more positive results in your life?

You can't judge people's lives just on the outside appearance. You don't know what goes on inside their heads. You can't see the stress, the emotional turmoil, the depression. The chronic suffering that they think is 'normal' and so they tollerate it anyway, when they could actually be free from it if they did the inner work. And success is subjective. What is success? Material success, or financial success doesn't equal happy lives. They amount of suffering those successes are causing goes unnoticed to people on the outside. And how stable are these people and their 'success'? What would happen if something changed unexpectedly for them, if something was removed? Would their world collapse? Happiness and success isn't directly related to achievement. It comes from peace of mind. Peace of mind comes from taking responsibility for your life and being able to handle whatever life throws at you, without judgement. And being ok with it. Peace of mind comes from knowing that nothing can perturb you because you have come to realise what is and what isn't really important in life. This is true personal development and comes from doing inner work, not outer work, which is what most other people are doing.

I was merely demonstrating how neither contexts are a representation of reality, as they were both different but the reality was the same. Thereby demonstrating that a 'problem' is purely subjective.

I wasn't trying to be cynical or pessimistic. But the reality is that expectation leads us in to all sorts of trouble and suffering in all areas of life. And we all do it. But the problem is this: reality doesn't care what your expectations are, neither do most other people, especially if they don't know about them or don't agree with them. And even if they did, again, reality may have other ideas. It's difficult, because we use expectations to drive us in particular directions andto give us hope. But it's always a gamble. Having ideas, and preferences, having objectives can be fine as long as you are open to the reality that they may not come to be, and that they don't have to be either. You can have expectations, but always remember that they are your own, and have no basis in reality. If they come to be satisfied, that's great. If not, you need to be ok with that too.

From a young age I started questioning reality and being curious about how everything, everyone worked. I remember contemplating about consciousness awareness. Unfortunately there was no one I could discuss the topic with because when I tried, people would look at me like I had two heads, laugh and say “you’re funny..”. So, 25 years later, what better place than this forum? Finally I can get this idea out into the world.. This goes down a deep rabbit hole, and I’m not even sure I can accurately convey my thinking through the spoken word. So there I was thinking about what conscious awareness is. The thing that struck me was that we all must have it. Perhaps every brain, be it human or otherwise, has it. And for each life-form the conscious awareness is from a first-person perspective. Through the senses and thoughts of the being. But this got me asking – so how did ‘my’ conscious awareness, or the perceiver of my awareness come to be associated with this particular body, i.e. this body I call ‘mine’. I mean, life-forms are created and ‘come online’ every day, and have done so throughout history. So how did my consciousness, my perspective, come to be from this body on the day that it ‘came online’? Why not a different body at a different time? Are you following me so far? This is where people look at me funny and edge away… Sure, this body was created and became conscious, just like every other. But how did my perception come to be associate with it specifically and not any other. Some other perceiver could have been ‘assigned’ to it instead. I look around at others and try to imagine that each person I’m looking at is perceiving their conscious awareness from the perspective of ‘their’ body just as I am. But then I ask, how is it I’m not perceiving that other person’s consciousness instead of mine? And I don’t mean in that particular moment. I mean, when that body’s conscious awareness came online, instead of being aware of my body when it came online my perception could have been assigned to that one instead. I could have been anyone one of millions of people yet I became aware of this body’s life. I image the ‘perceiver’ as a sort of camera that is viewing that body’s brain’s consciousness. Every consciously-aware brain is being viewed by a separate camera. Yet each cameral is uniquely assigned to that particular brain. It blows my mind. Frankly, it questions what conscious perception is at all in the first place. Let alone how we can all have a uniquely assigned perception from a specific viewpoint. I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’ve written. No doubt there’ll be many misunderstandings. But if anyone does catch on and have something to add I’d be very interested to hear it. In fact, any other thoughts or theories people have had about consciousness, awareness and perception would be interesting to hear about.

Well said.

How about Jailbreak You Mind (or Life)?

^^ Couldn't have put it better myself. Best way to know what someone is thinking, is to ask them. At least in the first instance. Takes out a lot of guesswork.

I like this. Messes with my head though, lol. But interesting idea. Scientists apparently seem to have discovered that conscious-awareness occurs when neural activity in different parts of the brain synchronises. As soon as that synchronicity is lost, so is consciousness. They determined this by looking at how brain-wave traces vary from sleep in to consciousness. I'm yet to work out exactly what this means or proves, but it is interesting. They think it suggests that conscious-awareness is the overall collective of all neural activity and not any specific area within the brain or it's activity.

This is true, but I have another take on it. Sure, genetics and environmental conditioning can play a part, but the beauty with psychology is that it can be rewired. Not always easily or quickly but it can be done. So even if you've inherited some controlling or narcissitic psychology, or OCD related issues or emotional problem (all of which can have genetic roots), you're not confined to this way of thinking and feeling. Doing inner work can override any pre-existing 'condition'. I tend to agree with Leo's take on things, that with the right kind of insight and commitment, any negative psychologcial 'habits' or neuroses can be changed, or at the very least, new layers of psychology can be put in place over the top. I've stopped looking at mental illnesses as 'mental illness'. I see it all as faulty psychology at the end of the day. If you really looked in to it you could say that every single one of us was mentally ill in some way (needy, insecure, hedonistic, whatever). Psychology is what it is for each individual. But there are healthy ways to be alligned with and there are unhealthy ways. Healthy ways will lead to less neurotic behaviours, addictions, suffering etc and a greater peace of mind. The degree to which you need or want in life and the degree to which you don't have consistent peace of mind, is the degree to which your psychology is unhealthy, or rather, could be improved.

Simple answer: subconscious relates to all the neural activity in our brains that we don't have conscious awareness of. Yes, it does largely control our life. Quite literally.

You need to stop thinking like this. Perfection doesn't exist, and there is no one ideal person for you. This is an expectation that will never be fulfilled. People are so much more complicated than you will ever learn, even if you spend decades with them. Stop over-thinking it. There are too many expectations put on to relationships and the people participating in them. When you connect with someone, enjoy that connection. 'Be' with it. Enjoy what comes naturally from it. Don't try to force it to fit in with your expectations or self-agenda. That person isn't there to serve you or suit you, or to make you happy. They are an individual being, beautiful in themself just as you are. You're making assumptions and demands and imposing expections that 'it should be like this or that'. Or 'what's in it for me?'. Different people are different. Not everyone will have the same ideas or motivations as you. Other's will. Noone will be a perfect fit. You don't need to generalise and ask "is this possible, are they all like this?". Yes it is. No, they're not. But you need patience and to take a step back, have less expectations and just enjoy the interractions more for what they are. People seem to go around choosing partners like they're buying something from the store. Then, when they find it doesn't suit their needs exactly, they want to take it back, get another one. Humans are too complex to compartmentalise. They don't come with a hard and fast specification. You'll never find the spec that you think you want. But they do come with a lot of natural rewards that don't need to be forced or demanded. It always saddens me when I hear people complaining about how another human isn't giving them what they want or need. As if they exist for the benefit of others. They don't. Start seeing people as people and not as a means. So you have to accept the process of enjoying what comes along, being with it, and maybe moving on if it doesn't work out for you personally. That's the reality of reality. Finally, have less needs and expectations. The less you have, they easier it will be. This is true for all areas in life and something we all need to do.

This is a classic paradox that people can't see through. It is as if to say that to no longer see a problem as a problem is to lie to yourself. And that the 'problem' still exists. And this is what holds people back from internal growth. I've seen this with people that are suffering from depression. They are offered pills to lift their mood. They believe that the act of lifting the mood is a deception and that the 'real' issues still exist. So why delude yourself? It does fix anything. The truth is a problem is only a problem in the eye of the beholder. What looks like a problem to one person may not be a problem to someone else. So clearly the problem is not a 'real' physical thing, but merely a concept based on what an agenda requires. If I put a drinking glass on the table and half fill it, do you see a problem? It depends on the context. And the context depends on what you are expecting from the situation - what is in it for you. If that was the only drink you were offered for the whole day then you would see a problem with it being half a glass. If you wanted to add something else to the glass then you would be glad it wasn't full. Either way, though, the situation doesn't change. It's still half a glass of water. Seeing it as a problem or not makes not difference. What if, instead of seeing a problem you just saw half a glass of water and then understood that some action was needed to either make it more or less full as required? People think having less money is a problem. But is it really? I mean how much money do you need for it not to be a problem? You either have enough money for what you need or you don't. If you don't then you take whatever action is required to get what you need. But most problems aren't problems. Most are 'anticipated'. We imagine something as worse than it is or with negative consequences, when the reality turns out differently. We impose a context on to everything from which we make judgments. Rather than just seeing the situation for what it is. So, back to the original point. If our perception changes so that we no longer see a problem, then there is no problem and no action necessarily needs to be taken. It's not that we're deluding ourselves that there isn't a problem. There really isn't. Because problems do not exist in reality. Reality doesn't care if you have money or not. Or if you live or die. That's just reality being reality. It's neutral. Problems only exist within your own perception of reality - a perception that is formed by reference to your own agenda, and your own beliefs, values and experiences. Any problem is purely your own problem, within your mind. And is entirely relative to your agenda, beliefs, values, expectations and experience.

It may not be possible to completely elliminate an agenda. Agendas are what drive actions. No agenda would result in no action. But this is the point in a way. There are basic core agendas that we are unlikely to shift, but there are so many other agendas or 'perceived' agendas that we have (all based on other beliefs and concepts) that we don't actually need. It is these superflous agenda that cause much of our suffering. There is another way of looking at this whole concept. Objective thinking verses subjective thinking. Agendas are subjective, in the eye of the beholder. Reality is fairly objective by comparison. Let's take Leo's example of the tree falling on the car. He implied that you wouldn't just walk outside and say "Oh, ok, the car has been crushed by the tree..". Well, actually, that's exactly what I would say... but here's the point. Most people would be all "Holy shit!", with all sorts of emotional reactions and a cascade of negative thoughts. All related to multiple agendas: you had a sentimental attachment to the car. You'll not be able to get to work so that will have consequences. The insurance company will cause to stress etc. This is all looking at it from a subjective point of view. Most people won't just see the situation for what it is, they will 'see' all the value and meanings that they assign to it all. So, looking at the situation objectively instead what do we have? (And this is how I tend to view the world). There is a situation: the tree in the car and the car is destroyed. Ok. So what needs to be done here? The tree needs moving. The insurance company needs informing. Alternative travel needs to be arranged. A new car needs to be sought. So rather than reacting in a subjective and agenda oriented fashion, you can take responsibility for the situation, as it is, and take the action necessary to move on from it. Then, once that is done, there is no more action to take. So I guess what I'm saying is this: to make a start in removing 'agenda' from your daily life, you need to view reality more objectively and more mindfully. See it for what it is. Avoid judgments, criticisms and labelling of things. There's no need to label the situation as 'bad' or 'good' or make aganda oriented statements like "so why does this happen to me" or "great, now that's inconvenienced me". None of that shit serves any purpose other than making yourself feel worse. Stop viewing objects, relationships, people, situations in terms of "what's in it for me?" or "how does this effect me?". Instead see it in terms of "does anything need to be done in this situation?" and if not, be with it. In any case, be with it. Relationships are the number one area in life where people impose their self agendas on to the external world. They look at it, and the person and anayse how it can serve them, and what they are or aren't getting from it or them. Rather than just seeing the other person, as another person - someone who is nothing to do with you, they are their own person living their own life. Here's an exercise to try. Pick an object, person or relationship or a situation and think about all the ways in which you label it/them, judge them, criticise, value or how it/they serve you in some way. What do you get for it/them? You'll be surprised just how much of an agenda you really have. How everything is about you and what you want or expect. This is what you need to release. All these selfish expectations and impositions.

Another name for habit would be an obsessive-compulsion. Compulsions are hard to resist because as you try you are plagued with obsessive thoughts that induce further compulsions. This is going to sound stupid, but if you actually want to stop a habit...then stop doing it. Resist the compulsive urges. The best way to do this is to move your attention on to something else. We tend to engage in habits because we have nothing better to do in the moment. Our minds are idle and are attention focusses on the compulsive urge. A good way to learn how to keep you attention away from compulsive urges is to meditate. But another way is to find some other thing, in the moment, to shift you attention on to. Once you do that the urge to engage in the habit should be, at least for a moment, forgotten. Here's a way to start though: the next time you get the urge to twiddle your hair, tell yourself that this time you're not going to. And don't. Refrain from it for at least 1 minute. Prove to yourself that you can do this. If you're sucessful for 1 minute, then congratulations, you broke the habit for 1 minute. If you can do that, then you can do it for longer...and longer. Just practice stopping it. You can always start it again, but set yourself the challenge, from time to time, of stopping for a set amount of time. Tell yourself that "today I'm not going to twiddle my hair at all but tomorrow I may start again." And do it. Then tomorrow do the same again. Fundamentally it is only you that is doing this thing in the first place. It's like asking someone "How do I stop hitting myself?". Well, who's doing the hitting? Your arm attached to your body being controlled by your conscious mind. You're not possesed. It is you carrying out the habit so if you really really really want to stop it....then stop doing it.. and accept the frustration of the annoying urge that you can't 'scratch'. It will fade in time. But most of all, stop focussing on the urge. Move your attention somewhere else. A habit is only a habit because you give it so much attention.

My concern with teleportation is this: we may find a way to teleport the body but will the conscious-awareness go with it? Or will we end up with a lifeless or unconscious vegetable at the other end? And what would happen if you separated the conscious-awareness from the body anyway? And what if the only way to teleport the body was to create a copy of it at the destination and then destroy the original? So the copy lives on as you but the 'you' that started out would cease to exist. Food for thought..

I just want to make a few comments on this post. Firstly, sex is not love. Love is not a physical thing, it is an emotional/psychological thing. Love is acceptance, respect and empathy for another person. If a reduction in physical contact is going to reduce your 'love' then perhaps it's not love that you are feeling. Maybe it's lust or attachment. Stop 'shoulding'. You don't make the rules and she doesn't have to follow them. Also stop being selfish and being all 'me me, I'm not getting..'. You're falling in to the same trap as everyone else. Selfish love and self-agendas in relationships. We all do it but it's ass-backwards. The problem is not what she is or isn't doing, but it's what you think you do or don't need. Why are you so desperate for regular physical intimacy. Why can't you have some consideration and patience for her own needs (which may be to have some space). You should really be asking her about this situation. You don't say anywhere that you have made the effort to communicate with her about your concerns. Communication is important for a healthy relationship and if you really do 'love' her then you will show her the respect of talking to her and listening to her. Maybe that's true. You need to talk to her and get to know her more. It seems there are more issues beneath the surface than just your need for sex. Creating rules and setting expectations. Does she even know this? Have you asked her about it and expressed your concerns? Maybe her idea of a relationship is different to yours. Talk to her. Open communication is an essential foundation for a healthy relationship. Maybe you won't hear what you want to hear, or maybe you can both reach an understanding. Either way, avoiding talking and telling yourself stories about what she may be thinking or feeling whilst cultivating a resentent towards her isn't going to get very far.. I don't mean to come across harsh or blunt with my reply here. I'm just being matter of fact. It is what it is. It could be that regular intimacy is so important to you that this relationship will not work for you. So that is a valid outcome. But don't play the criticise and blame game on her. She is her own person, different and separate from you. Don't assume that because you are attracted to one another that you should both conform to the same ideas and needs. If she doesn't satisfy you then she's not the girl for you. There may be someone else better suited to your needs. Or perhaps you just need to have a little patience and more acceptance of her. Either way, you need to communicate with her and get the facts. Then you can take reasoned action.

I find the whole subject of education a contentious one. They teach a lot of useless shit in schools and colleges. They also tell you a lot of shit about how good grades and qualifications will get you fantastic jobs and careers. The reality is a bit different. As Consept said above, it depends what you want to do. You don't get good jobs and careers from getting good exam results. You get good jobs and careers from getting good exam results AND doing all the other stuff you need to do, gaining the experience, doing the extracurricular work and research etc, networking, applying for 100s of vacancies, getting yourself known, starting at the bottom and working your way in over years etc etc etc that most people don't do. You can get fantastic exam results and never find work because the results on their own don't mean shit. I've been to endless interviews waving my relavent qualifications and good grades only later to be told that "someone else had more experience". Experience seems to be the key these days. How do you get experience without a job in the first place? Good question. Getting out there and doing stuff. It's commitment that gets you in to careers, not so much exam results. Conversely, you can fail all your exams but happen across the right person or place at the right time and get an apprentiship or training position which later leads to bigger and better things. There's no real answer to your question. The results in your life come down to what you want to do and the comitment and effort you put towards it. Whether that requires exam results or not depends on what you want. It is a myth that getting good grades = getting good jobs. There are so many people wandering around with 'good grades' and diplomas that you're just one in a crowd of other people, indestiguishable from yourself. Most businesses these days couldn't care less about grades and certifiactes because everyone's got them. So they look for experience or uniqueness. What stands out and looks promising. So, exam results may not affect your life at all, or they may affect it in a big way. But, to be honest, just on their own I doubt they would make any significant difference. It's what else you do besides or in conjunction with them that makes the difference.

I want to add something to my last comment about 'caring'. I was doing some deep introspection yesterday and I had an important realisation on this subject. So I've made the claim that we really only 'care' about people because those people in some way provide value to us. That our 'caring' is conditional upon that value. Actually, another word for 'care' would be 'value'. "I value you...", "I value your happiness or your health.." etc But whilst trying to resolve some inner feelings I was having yesterday I discovered another form of caring that contains a vital ingredient: empathy - 'the ability to understand and share the feelings of another'. Effectively empathy means that we can relate to and identify with the thoughts and feelings of another person. It's not something we really have a choice in. We either empathise or we don't. It is an in-built mechanise within our brains and many social animals share the ability. What's the relevence of this? I realised that it is possible to care about someone because you empathise with the way they think and feel. It's kinda like a 'mind-meld'. A form of psychological intimacy. Because if you empathise with someone then you feel and think as they do. You effectively experience what they are experiencing. You 'become' them. You have no choice but to care about them as if they were you, and to treat them as if they were you. To empathise is as close to selflessness as we can get as an egoic species. Think about the last time you tryully empathised with someone and how that felt. The beauty of empathy is that it isn't confined to specific situations. We can empathise with other people's positive as well as negative emotions. We can empathise with their daily thoughts and feelings. In fact this is the key ingredient missing from most relationships. With empathy there is no need to criticise, blame or argue because you know how and why the other person is thinking and feeling. To criticise and blame them would be to criticise and blame yourself. It seems to me that mutual empathy is the key ingredient of a healthy, functional relationship. To be able to identify with and relate to one another gives you no choice but to treat them with the respect and selfless care that you would give yourself. From this reasoning I believe that it is possible for unconditional caring and love, although for the most part within society this key ingredient is missing. I see very few, if any, relationships or human interractions where one or both people actually empathise with each other at all. Mostly what I see is self-agenda and selfishness. We're all guilty of this, myself included. Some people aren't capable of empathy. Narcissitic people in particular. This is why narcissistic parents are incable of showing genuine love or caring to their children or partners. But empthy is not a given thing. We can have it in some situations and not in others. We can share it with some people but not others, or not all the time. But we can practice it. By raising our awareness and placing ourselves in others' positions, making more effort to understand the 3rd person perspective. But sometimes it just happens, automatically, with certain people. I also realised that this concept of empathy has a connection with enlightenment. Enlightenment is effectively empathy for all of reality. To relate to and identify with reality itself and treat it as if it were you and you were it. That is empathy. I've spent a lot of time trying to work out what makes for healthy, selfless, human interractions and relationships and I think this is the answer. Mutual empathy. The one thing largely missing from society and intimate relationships. So perhaps if more people persued and attained enlightenment, the world truly would become a better and more selfless place.