SoothedByRain

I'm alone, almost too the point where Im mostly deliberatly alone. As a right brained, borderline autistic male I mostly seek companionship for our biological, chimp necessities more so than than any true connection. Don't get me wrong, I do want such a connection, but finding a woman in our culture, after going deep with this work isn't so easy. Add into this the fact I don't have my financial situation sorted and deal with some auto-immune issues makes finding a healthy romantic friendship or full on relationship doesn't help me or others I might synergise with. Don't get me wrong, I'm capable and confident enought to get myself a "fuck buddy" but these experiences and companionships are always so shallow and I need to have some prerequisite foundational connection to fuck how I like without it being unhealthy. I always have that deep feeling of knowing when I'm venturing into such how actively attempting to build that healthy needed foundation ramps up my egoic need for survival ten-fold and really distracts me from the real work. These shallow acquaintances really display for me, in the moment, how glaring my own and other peoples lack of development and unconscious is after observing and studying self-actualizing/ed people for the last few years. The vast amount of people are unconsciously / actively building up their egoic sense of self (especially within relationships). I'm trying to do the opposite. Our Culture breeds low-consciousness. "No, I haven't watched Orange is the new black". "No, I don't have time to lay around all day and watch netflix or txt ego building mutual self-worship to one another. I probably should go and attempt to meditate and integrate for a full week straight and solid if I ever want to transcend through my devilry and get mh head out of my arse". All this being rambled. I did lastnight for the first time in a long while, post on reddit seeking a like minded woman. In such I wrote a list of potential conversation topics hoping to catch some like-minded eyes. I don't think I'll get a response I dislike having to play egoic social games to get my physical needs / stress reliefs met. I also dislike being the only person I know of in real life / offine who understands the content Leo has taught me though Actualized.org. Recently watched both Ken Wilber and Don Beck seperatly talk about how alone one is when they move up into the second tier of the Spiral. It is unpleasant for the little me ego Charlie to be surrounded my Ones Beautiful Creation it seems by beautifiul creation the little me really means . . . unconscious ape devilry! Is more depraved animalistic fucking in the wild mud or attempted deep conversation where that "true" connection I seek ever going to fulfil me? Is such going to help me embrace and allign myself with Being? No, it won't. This is what we get for having evolved as tiny little rat monkeys huddled up in holes in trees, hiding, fucking, cuddling, nibbling and sleeping all day for millions of years. I do love me some berries and nibbles. I've never tried No-Fap. I have a strong sex drive and have always thought of such as something needing to be dealt with so I can get on with the other parts of life. Anyone care to chime in with their experiences of restraining from sexual "necessities"? There is a Non-Duality group meet up near me I'm thinking about going to. I've been putting it off for a few months. It is however next to impossible to talk about Nothing and Everything. I'm going into such with the assumption that Self-Bias, Self-Deception, Devilry, Survival etc will all be void within these meet ups. Even within spiritual circles I've somewhat found that most people only just graze the tip of this work. Leo has ruined me I'm dying. I never even existed and yet I'm dying and I dislike it. All of this goes deeper than just physical needs. I'm trying to blend deep conceptual synergy and understanding with animalistic beauty. I don't think both of these will come together. If they are found and integrated, I know, it will be very rare. As for male in person friends who are on the path, I'd take the connection and embrace such but I feel it would be mostly a distraction from the work. It would be a nice side dish to the main meal. Clearly I don't hunger for male friendship as much as I do for an intimate yang to my relative ying.

A mixture of Red and Blue. Short and captivating.

https://twitter.com/JimCarrey?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

https://genius.com/Rage-against-the-machine-down-rodeo-lyrics https://www.kerrang.com/features/can-rage-against-the-machines-reunion-affect-u-s-politics-in-2020/

Rightous Dualistic Partitioning. All of our threats are self-created from the relative self-biased perspective of the self, the little-one. Beyond the ego, the physiological and neurological wiring of the individual biological sub-system, beyond the sensorily created boundary of the body, beyond "you" dear relative reader . . . is One. Dualistic Partitioning. Should the mammalian ape consume the peice of shit on the floor or the mushroom two metres to the left for nutrition? Egoic survival is an artistic masterpiece. All of our threats are self-created. Within All of The Self there are no threats. One Morality is survival. Morality creates suffering. Suffering is survival. Survival creates morality. Myriad wise-apes dancing together with snarls and smiles of self-biased love and bloody spears. Biological life has no free will. “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” - Bro Jesus Forgive them for they are unconscious mechanical animals with no free will, thus they know not what they do. Love. One. - Me, some bald prick who wants MORE TEA!!!!

Talk given at Virginia Tech for the Greens at Virginia Tech, March 26th, 2019. https://www.gp.org/b_sidney_smith_sb ----- Figured it would be nice to add this lecture of Leo's to the end of this post for those who might need such.

For anyone interested in UK Politics and the upcoming election. https://campaigns.greenparty.org.uk/manifesto/ It is all 100% necessary and glaringly ridiculous to propose such. Its almost equivalent to suggesting Syria should aim to become the science and medicine research hub of humanity within the next 20 years, regardless of its current political, cultural and psychological development.

@abundance The youth of the west won't give up their smartphones and cars until forced to, by then, it will be too late. Many say it already is too late. Emerging nations like China are planning advances in their use of coal which will dwarf all western first world efforts of clean energy, which itself, at this moment, without future fantasy tech, is unsustainable. @Leo Gura Agreed. Guess I should get to work enabling an emergence of higher consciousness. My own awakening and embodiment first of course. We won't survive for long without light being shone upon the devil. @CreamCat All is in flux and the bubbles are beginning to broil. The past is not Now and the map is not the territory.

Survival and Homeostasis

@Leo Gura Everything is flowing exactly as it is, no need for gloom. Think of what a Billion people migrating north from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh is going to be like. WW2's 40 million is nothing compared to future geo-politics. Our borders, nations and collective identities are going to have to shift and morph drastically if we are going to attempt to adapt whilst bypassing serious war. I think we both know how Stage Blue, Orange and Green societies will react to chaotic upheavel and threat. Reversion. A shift is possible, but not in such a short period, not under such threat. I often feel you're highly optimistic and generous with your dates when you speak of future vision, such as "Stage Yellow society might take hundreds to a thousand years to emerge" Sure, given the environment stays within a roughly "business as usual" state. The data amongst climate scientists suggests we are already too late, the hopefull ones are talking about 50ish years. The ones who are being real stark and dismissing any magic rabbits from glorious top hats are talking 10/20 years before collapse truly starts showing itself more harshly. Speaking of such, seen Australia? It isn't even summer yet. Not even 2030. The Aus population is 26 million. I wonder about the process of their migration? Lets hope the science and numbers are wrong and that the growing pains of natures reshuffle lead to conscious politics and society. Perhaps I've just fallen into some paradigm lock of biased, wildy deranged observations and predictions by a few odd balls. Mainstream society doesn't talk about rough, unwanted Truths though aye. What is Love 2 would be demonized by 95% of Humanity given they were to hear it. Egoic Survival is a relentless and beautifully designed masterpiece. Lets hope for genius creative cutting edge apes and magic rabbits. No need for gloom, there are no demons here, only Love and Shapeshifting Christ Creation. I'll tell you one thing I know for sure. There would be shit ton of gloom for myself if it wasn't for your work Leo xxx Edit: only just seen your second message response. Perhaps. I do feel you're highly optimistic and generous, but, what we need is your line of thinking thats for sure

People often create a duality between Human Made Structures and Nature. All of Earth is nature. But that would create a duality between the planet and the universe . . . . AHhHhHHhhhhh! Where does it end? It doesn't . . . https://www.reddit.com/r/InfrastructurePorn/top/?t=all https://www.reddit.com/r/spaceporn/top/?t=all https://www.reddit.com/r/biology/top/?t=all

Cheers. Just ordered Aligned Relaxed Resiliant: The Physical Foundations of Mindfulness

Eben Pagan - Wake Up Productive 3.0 Gold.

Keep the following four things in mind. Remind yourself of them 20+ times a day. Progress, not perfection. You'll never be perfect. We neurotically seek perfection in everything we do and it often stalls us. forget perfection. Focus solely on 0.5% growth spurts. They Compound. Failure = Growth. Failure is good. Negative feelings are not "bad", they should be observed and focused upon. Negative emotions are guiding lights. Mindful observation of failures enables proactive progress in the face of failure. There is no failure, there is no perfection . . . there is only growth and learning. Breath. Deep, slow, mindful breathing. Stupid is a naive word. stupidity doesn't exist, there is only naivety and we're all naive. Being naive isn't "bad". observing such allows one to go into learning, training and progress. Attempt to ditch the word stupid and embrace Not-Knowing. Read books. Lot and lots of books. Don't cling to an ideology. Be openminded. Observe everything. Try not to compare yourself to others. Try to understand why the human brain neurotically does so and this will help you to flow. Understanding can bring peace. The 5 steps to Growth Awareness Understanding Acceptance Positive Action Positive Growth/Change

Have some beauty in return for yours dear @Nahm

Would anyone and everyone share thoughts on this Nootropic stack for daily use please? I'd appreciate having my devilry and bullshit checked https://imgur.com/njiPTPx - 3 days prepped - One day laid out on paper. Morn: 1x Lemon Balm 500mg 1x Uridine Monophosphate 300mg 1x Phosphatidyle Serine (sunflower lecithin) 100mg 1x Bacopa M - 50% Bacosides - 350mg 1x Lions Mane - High Strength 50% Polysaccharides / 30% Beta 1,3/1,6 D Glucan & Hericenones - 425mg Also have some raw cocoa nibs with breakfast normally. Noon: 1x Phosphatidyle Serine (sunflower lecithin) 100mg 1x Lions Mane - 425mg 1x L-Theanine - 300mg 1x Alpha GPC - 300mg 2x Matcha - 1250mg Evening: 1x Phosphatidyle Serine (sunflower lecithin) 100mg 1x Bacopa M - 50% Bacosides - 350mg 2x Lemon Balm - 1000mg 1x Black Seed Oil - 1250mg --- Mainly posting to ask if . . . people think this is too much for the body on a daily basis? people can spot any warning signs of sorts? anyone has advice or thoughts regarding what should or definitely needs to be cycled? Moda needs cycling/breaks for sure. Please share your views on all the ways I'm noobing out please??? This is my off day / chill day stack. Only minor difference from a normal day is I swap Armodafinil for Lemon Balm. Perhaps I should cut back on Uridine and Phos Serine on chill days? Been using this load with a few subtractions and additions for the last 3/4 months. Lots of studying and doing consciousness, meditation and concentration work. Aim is to enhance and optimize neurological wiring in these areas as I learn and become more cognitively proficient through my practices. Really grinding, 8 / 10 hours a day 6 days a week. Attempting to mindfully work within a schedule optimal for the Ultradian rhythm. Hence the supplementation. Managed to buy myself some time away from grinding for financial income and I'm trying to put it to optimal use. We all have 1000s of hours of beatiful work and creation ahead of us Lions Mane, Bacopa and Lemon Balm are all new additions. I've been using them for less than a month. Lemon Balm, is the newest. Not sure if its Uridine, Lions M or Bacopa but my verbal fluency and articulation is on point, which is something I've struggled with in the past. Due to sun exposure, lots of movement, breath work and Nootropics . . . brain fog has cleared up substantially over the last 6 months, cognitive energy has skyrocketed, to a point where I'm really need to level things out with less Moda, and more herbs like Lemon Balm and Bacopa. I eat pretty well, eat a ton of fish and cavier and blueberries. Drink Green and other teas and also soak in Hot Dead Sea Salt Baths 3/4 times a week. Sleep 7 Hrs roughly. Weekends I sleep a deep 9/10. --- I was using PQQ and Pterostilbene not too long ago. I feel Uridine, Alpha GPC and PQQ along with lots of sardines and sunlight really turned the dails in my brain up. I'm sure moda had a lil to do with all that but, more so, all the rest as a foundation of umph. Nootropic usage has turned my brain on in amazing ways, but perhaps I should cut back a little bit and see how I go for a month with little to nothing . . . . Do not take hot baths with salt on Armoda. Way too much stimulation for the heart. I had to get out. I've noticed blood pressure issues on 150mg Armoda. Think I need to cut it solely down to half and maybe pop a full 150mg here and there. I'll respond to anyone who comments when able to --- Specific product links below if ye care NOT AFFILIATED. Only adding these because someone will probably ask what exactly it is I'm using: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Uridine-Monophosphate-Strength-Vegetarian-Capsule/dp/B074MCF6YG/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=FS+Uridine+Monophosphate+[300mg]&qid=1572641694&s=drugstore&sr=1-3 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Natures-Way-Melissa-Vegetarian-Capsules/dp/B00TDFE02M/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Nature's+Way+-+Melissa+Lemon+Balm+Leaf+500+mg.+-+100+Vegetarian+Capsules&qid=1572641778&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Monnieri-Bacosides-Improves-adaptogen-VitaminWay/dp/B077NR3896/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Bacopa+Monnieri.+Brahmi.+Extract+50%+Bacosides+700mg+Daily.+120+Veg+caps%2C+2+Month+Supply.+Improves+Brain+Focus+Memory+Mood%2C+Natural+adaptogen.+GMO+and+Gluten+Free+Made+in+EU+by+VitaminWay.&qid=1572641930&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Factors-Phosphatidylserine-100mg-Softgels/dp/B000Z8ZRC8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Natural+Factors+PS+Phosphatidylserine%2C+Soy+Free%2C+100mg%2C+60+Softgels&qid=1572642054&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hericium-Erinaceus-Strength-Polysaccharides-Glucanc/dp/B07C6DK6CV/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Lions+Mane+(Hericium+Erinaceus)+High+Strength+50%+Polysaccharides+%2F+30%+Beta+1%2C3%2F1%2C6+D+Glucan+%26+Hericenones+-+4+Months+Supply+-+Fruit+Body+-+Dual+Extracted+-+No+Additives+-+UK+Made+(120+Capsule+Pouch)&qid=1572642103&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Premium-Raws-Alpha-Capsules-120/dp/B078GTCNQ4/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Premium+Raws+Alpha+GPC+Capsules%2C+300+mg%2C+Pack+of+120+Capsules&qid=1572642199&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Theanine-Nootropic-Essential-Relaxation-Supplement/dp/B07PWXXHZ6/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=FS+L+Theanine+Pure+[300mg]&qid=1572641822&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Organic-Matcha-Green-Supplement-Swallow/dp/B079SP1C33/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Organic+100%+Pure+Matcha+Green+Tea+Supplement+from+Japan+-+A+Powerful+Antioxidant+Green+Tea+Extract+Energy+Booster+-+90+Easy-to-Swallow+Vegan+Capsules&qid=1572642265&s=drugstore&sr=1-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazing-Herbs-Premium-Black-Soft-Gels/dp/B017KQZC6I/ref=pd_bxgy_328_img_2/260-6289903-3295128?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B017KQZC6I&pd_rd_r=4b55bdca-978f-4993-a0f0-94895dd489cd&pd_rd_w=MUwAZ&pd_rd_wg=qqsg7&pf_rd_p=655b7c7d-a17d-4637-9a0a-72a813e0d2cb&pf_rd_r=JGCATM8VRD5ZW8RBW8RH&psc=1&refRID=JGCATM8VRD5ZW8RBW8RH

I love how Joaquin went from playing Jesus, really well, in a really good film. To the fucking Joker... Like dreamers . . .

Found this channel through Leo, perhaps his blog? It is gold Prerequisites for understanding and actualizing conscious politics: (conceptual) understanding of . . . Non-duality Spiral Dynamics Self-deception Survival Collective ego Devilry (What is the devil, The mechanics of evil) How ideology works Relativity & relativism Systems thinking Love

xxxxxx