Deziree

I’ve been in a really similar spot. I connect with people slowly too, especially when someone’s super open and emotionally expressive, it can feel like being hit by a wave. Honestly, you’re doing the right thing just by noticing this pattern instead of ghosting or shutting down completely. The key thing I’ve learned is to be upfront about your pace. You don’t have to match her openness, just let her know that you tend to open up more gradually. That way, she doesn’t misread your need for space as lack of interest. Also, don’t beat yourself up for protecting your space. Emotional speed differences are totally normal. The goal isn’t to “fix” it, but to find a rhythm that keeps both people regulated and genuine. And for what it’s worth, if she already knows some things about you through friends, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes that pre-knowledge can make her more empathetic, not judgmental. So yeah, take it slow, communicate honestly, and don’t force yourself to go faster than your nervous system allows. Openness that’s gradual but real usually goes way further than trying to keep up with someone else’s pace. Try being patient when it's really needed.

This is so beautiful. Living like a shaman.

Isn't that what we do when we communicate with others? We import their ideas?

Ideas can be made up in mind. Direct experiences cannot.

One can have 2 variants - one of group think where collectivistic ideas are detailed and the other where challenging notions are entertained without boundaries. Appealing to both sides of the coin. People can get far fetched just to avoid group think and land into the area of absurdity. At the same time, group think makes critical reasoning impossible. In a nutshell, all ideas should be welcome as long as they adhere to sanity, group think or not.

You aren't getting my point. If you assume something, aren't you already aware that's it's not real? You have the proof that it's not real. What's there to prove about something that never happened?

Then the retreat can be similar to shadow work. Each one bring out their repressions. Then it's not group think anymore.

Maybe when they say they enjoy solitude they mean they like to be by themselves and not interact much with the outside world. People go crazy in solitary confinement. Monk mode can be very hard. We don't know yet the deleterious effects.

You're imagining a scenario so you already know it's not real. You know it didn't happen. You imagined it right? You have to live in reality. You can only believe if something has happened. If there is no Stacey, who are you calling? How it can be direct if there's no proof? They never do it. It's scientists who do that. This is what scientists do. Anything direct has to have a proof. You don't have to prove something you realized. Scientists never assume things. They prove things. Obvious. It's common human tendency to rationalize abstract experiences.

I am missing something in this post. You're probably conflating strengths with values. Values are something you hold on to and they are true to your core identity and behaviour. Strengths are something you're already good at. Differentiate them neatly. Strengths can refer to different domains of life. Your values can dictate your strengths to a certain extent. But that's like running on a script. You'll have to expand your values beyond your strengths. If your strengths and values are identical, then you’re living in a feedback loop. Real growth usually means valuing things you don’t naturally have, not just celebrating what already comes easy. That’s where transformation starts, when your values stretch you instead of flattering you.

You make consciousness look like an ai model assessing the environment.

More signal. Less distraction. That's the way to go.

Controlling a dream is like wanting to control life. But there are just so many permutations and combinations and fuck-ups that the whole idea of control is a huge waste of energy.

Why not just use a stylus?

I feel like the post is a bit all over the place. You equate honesty with bluntness but fail to understand that others out there might share similar views as you or at least partially agree with you yet they could fear opening up for the same fears you have around them. I relate a lot to what you said in the first part of the post.When you start seeing through things, it can be isolating, almost like you’re speaking a different language and everyone else just wants comfort.I’ve noticed, though, that this frustration can easily turn into another form of ego without us realizing it. The mind can build a new identity around being “the one who really gets it,” which then feeds the same separation we’re trying to see through. Sometimes the most difficult and humbling part of this path of self development is learning to see everyone’s journey as valid, even when it looks naive or confused. People wake up through different doors: some through intellect, others through heartbreak, service, art, or even failure. Truth doesn’t always wear the same costume. So you have to be patient with people, even resilient. You will recognize their bullshit but you'll also realize that they come from a place of vaccum, orderliness and boredom since they were never exposed to something novel as this in their lives, it's easier to understand why they work on auto-pilot mode. But it cannot be denied that they could possess greater wisdom too, because living life on society's terms also has it's own challenges and obstacles and it's not a rigmarole you think it is. So perhaps there's always something to gain from someone if you only know how to converse with them in their own language at their own level, if you catch my drift. They operate that way probably because of lack of resources? Probably because they are just too overly programmed to work that way aka social slavery. Realizing this is also a part of meta awareness. I say this not as criticism but as a reminder (for myself too) that genuine seriousness about this work often softens us rather than hardens us. The deeper it goes, the less we need to judge, because we start to feel the same longing for truth in everyone, just expressed in different ways.

That's good. Seems it's well deserved since you worked so hard at it. If she needs space, let her have it, she will respect you for it.

I think the problem will take care of itself when authoritarianism will go out of hand and there will be an automatic push back. This happens with almost every movement that runs into it's own excesses.

Because he won't fulfill their long term expectations I guess.

There are some edgy people, they are not necessarily leftist though. A broad claim to make.

Why is your blog not working?

I think enlightenment is insipid. It cannot be a strategy of terror management. Seems like escapism to me.

I would love to attend.