Deziree

Industrialization and corporate greed ruined it.

Sunny side up. Try to keep going. Don't let go anymore. I want to play with tarot cards.

December 8th. Almost a week now from then. I haven't been feeling upbeat. I just want to login a lot of progress. Next week is Christmas. Everyone would be on leave. Glad I bounced back quickly.

Standards will always exist. They help us cope with life. You rate a grocery store shopping experience or an electronic device because you don't wanna be scammed or not get something worth your penny. It's about trust and letting other consumers make better decisions. Regarding people, I'm not sure if anyone rates people, it's usually their services that are rated.

I think academics will ruin that field with their dogma. You have to do independent research and experimentation.

They would charge a hefty price for that.

Suicide is never the answer. It's usually a cry for help.

Sentences are usually shortened if you display good behavior in prison.

This is hilariously scary

Not really funny but..

1. What moments in my life have felt sacred, even if they weren’t traditionally “spiritual”? Describe what made them feel meaningful or deeply alive. 2. When do I feel most connected to something larger than myself — nature, humanity, God, the universe, my own intuition? What does that connection feel like in my body and heart? 3. What does ‘inner guidance’ or intuition feel like inside me? How can I differentiate it from fear, wishful thinking, or overthinking? 4. How has my understanding of spirituality evolved over the years? What beliefs, rituals, or questions have stayed with me? 5. Write about a time when life felt guided as if things aligned beyond logic. What happened? How did it make you feel about life’s deeper intelligence? 6. What spiritual questions live quietly inside me? Not the ones I feel pressured to answer but the ones my soul is genuinely curious about. 7. If spirituality was not about religion, rules, or perfection — but about presence, love, and awareness — what would it look like in my daily life? 8. What is my personal definition of “soul”? Where do I feel its presence — in emotions, creativity, silence, longing, love? 9. What role does trust play in my spiritual path? Where do I struggle to surrender, and where do I naturally flow? 10. What kind of spiritual nourishment do I genuinely crave? Stillness? Community? Nature? Poetry? Prayer? Meaning? Healing? 11. What is one spiritual practice (formal or informal) that has actually shifted something inside me? How did it subtly change how I see myself or life? 12. How do I experience the divine not in theory, but in real life moments? In kindness? Silence? Beauty? Grief? Love? 13. What part of me feels most hungry for connection, purpose, or deeper meaning? What might it be asking for? 14. Write a letter from your ‘Higher Self’ the wise, compassionate part of you to your everyday self. What does it want you to remember? 15. Is it possible that spirituality isn’t about becoming something — but remembering something? What might I be remembering?

Just exploring the space around me. Little by little. Breathe in breathe out. Just begin.

November 27, 2025 I have to be ready to make little changes in my life everyday to make myself feel secure. Today is the day perhaps.

November 23, 2025. 🌀 1. Synchronicities as a living Dialogue Have I ever felt that life was sending me signs or messages? Describe one such experience in detail. How did it make me feel? Do I believe these moments were coincidence, or something more? Why? If synchronicities were a form of guidance, what might they be trying to tell me? How do I usually respond when something uncannily meaningful happens? Do I dismiss it, or allow it to speak to me? ⚖️ 2. The Transcendent Function (Holding Two Truths at Once) Can I remember a time where I felt two opposite emotions at the same time (e.g., joy and grief, love and pain)? What did that experience teach me? Where in my life am I still stuck in “either/or” thinking (right/wrong, good/bad, success/failure)? What would happen if I allowed both sides to exist without forcing a decision? Write about a situation where holding both truths gave me wisdom, strength, or depth. 🌙 3. Dreams as Direct Transmissions from the Self Recall a dream that stayed with you. Describe it in detail. What felt emotionally significant or symbolic about it? Did any dream ever feel like guidance, warning, or revelation? What impact did it have on you? If your inner wisdom (or “Self”) could speak to you through a dream — what message would it give you right now? What themes, symbols, or repeated patterns keep showing up in your dreams or daily life? 👁️ 4. Ego-Self Axis Reorganization When do I feel most identified with my ego (roles, fears, insecurities, status, appearance)? Can I describe a moment where I felt more connected to my higher self, witnessing life instead of being lost in it? In what situations does my ego try to control things? What happens when I let go and trust instead? If my ego is not the master, but a tool — what is its healthy role in my life? 🌌 5. Living Mythologically (Seeing Life as Archetypal) If my life were a myth or symbolic story, what archetype am I currently living (seeker, healer, warrior, wounded child, sage, lover, rebirth, etc.)? What challenge in my life might actually be a rite of passage or spiritual initiation in disguise? Do I feel sometimes that my life is part of something bigger than me? What moments made me feel this? If my soul chose this life story for growth — what lesson might it be trying to learn? 🌱 Integration & Self-Reflection Which of these five experiences do I resonate with the most right now? Why? Which experience scares me, fascinates me, or calls to me? How has my perception of life and self changed in the past 5 years? Is it becoming more spiritually aware? Does this feel like just knowledge, or does it feel like something happening within me? 📅 A 5-week spiritual reflection journaling challenge 🎨 A personal spiritual awakening tracker (like a timeline of inner evolution)

It could be we are one soul. Not necessarily one mind. If you catch the drift.

Values check-in What values did I uphold today, and in which moments did I stray from them? How can I better align my actions with my core beliefs tomorrow? Learning corner What did I learn today — about myself, others, or the world around me? Interaction insight Which interaction today left the most significant impact on me? Was it positive or negative, and why? Dreams and desires What is one thing I deeply desire, and what steps can I take tomorrow toward achieving it? Barriers and solutions What obstacles did I face today, and how did I overcome them? If I didn’t, what can I do differently next time?

I tried 360mg magnesium glycinate and I suffered severe stomach pain. So I stopped it.

Yes. One consciousness. awesome.

The “hostile crowd” represents the parts of yourself that feel betrayed, ignored, or unloved.

I thought we were all consciousness. Infinite streams.

Depends on a lot of factors other than just health. Your environment and resources. Your ability to process information that you consume. Resonance and survival. Most of our thoughts are aligned primarily to our survival. So your survival bias plays a big role. Survival itself depends on so many factors. Our brains are engineered for survival. So your brain chemistry will formulate those thoughts accordingly. In any given situation, the brain is trying the best to just get through. Thinkers like Feynman or Darwin were “fertile” because they spent years absorbing reality through observation and experimentation, not because their brains were just faster.Anxiety, shame, pride, or ideological rigidity distort cognition, they bias what’s noticed and what’s dismissed. Calm, open, emotionally grounded minds produce clearer and more truth-oriented thoughts. This is why some “low-IQ” people can have piercingly wise intuitions, they’re emotionally attuned and undefended enough to see what’s true, not just what flatters them. The quality of a thought will finally depend on the subject at hand, the problem at hand. If the thought appropriately targets the main concern and gives a coherent solution, it doesn't matter where it came from, low IQ or high IQ. Lastly there's dunning Kruger effect as well. The thought doesn't necessarily solves problems even if they are great quality. Also @Carl-Richard you mentioned something about weed producing better insights. That sort of negates the whole idea of high IQs because it's not your brain originally producing those thoughts, it's the weed influencing the brain and altering it. An altered brain negates or invalidates the idea of low or high IQ and in any transformation in the quality of thoughts is manufactured rather than organically produced. But this itself tells you that quality of thought is highly malleable and changeable because it's in a constant process of fluidity. So it's quality can be enhanced or deteriorated by multiple agents including substances, information,genetics, health, feedback loops, emotional neutrality, experience, intuitions, hard work, contemplation, clarity of input, curiosity, observation, list goes on..

Caught flu. Drinking fluids.

I have to carefully lay out my goals so as to not get completely entangled in them. I want to study. I want to work. Currently doing a part time art teaching job. But I want to upgrade soon. I want to feel intellectually and spiritually safer to be in my own rhythm. I am single and not looking for a relationship as yet. That will need time. I want to settle first and take things slower. Change strategies and change my mindset. Long term goals planning. ❤❤❤ I talked to my family yesterday and we had dinner together. It felt good after a long time. Sometimes they don't understand my issues and journey and that's okay. ❤❤❤ Growing in my brain is good but it's also draining. I have understood that self development is not that easy. It's an on-going thing and needs a lot of motivation to keep digging to keep going. First thing is liberate all the fears. Don't hang on to anything. There's no need to fear anything at all absolutely. ❤❤❤ It's been raining outside and I have caught a flu. Just high body temperatures. Not feeling great generally. Not trying to get this on my nerves. Drank hot water a while ago. ❤❤❤ I discussed with my colleague certain crucial aspects of work and life. One of the things that came up was that I perpetually live in survival mode. It's not separable from my entire self. That makes anything so difficult. Along with the diagnosis of adhd it's hard not to feel like I am spazzing out. I am thinking about healthy emotions now. Healthy emotions not just in self but also with respect to environment. ❤❤❤ First thing is to create a safe space. That's how you switch from survival mode to safety mode.

Don't expect someone to be spiritual in a situation like this. The texting naked pics went a bit far and I understand why your gf felt the way she did. You can assure her that won't happen again. I don't see this as a problem of incompatibility. More like matters of trust. If she is good sport generally, drop it and make amends.