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Everything posted by B_Naz

  1. I've had this a lot, and I know a lot of people on the forums post about this as well. It's quite common, and I don't exactly know what it is since I haven't invested in any Electroencephalography or brain-activity tracking devices. Personally though, I think it's you becoming extremely relaxed and in a state where you actually forget your body/balance, if that makes sense? It's like meditating so hard, you forget you're meditating and then your senses all align at once after they've been numbed down and it's a headrush That's my view. If it really does bother you, try some breathing exercises
  2. You could use Martial Arts to discipline yourself. But that discipline will only get you off your ass and be proactive. That energy can be used for your spiritual work but I don't think the art itself is enlightening. It can just make you very focused. Aikido is very nice but hard to master. But any Art will make you disciplined, regardless.
  3. Complementing and this occurred to me... So I have my mind, and it stores/creates memory for me. Then thoughts are created by these memories and thus are just expressions of memories. I am aware of these memories/thoughts This is only something I figured out for myself, and not saying it is true for all but this is something I observed and seen. But then.. This got me thinking, all the work that I do, are ultimately stored within my mind, within the brain. So my progression has obviously been influencde by the work. This would be a good thing right but... How do I know that my actions or progression or path isn't just copying the things I've read and done work on from thoughts/memory? Then when the insights comes in, it's just from the memory rather than within or "Truth" Isn't this just manipulation? Then the other side of me says "I practised the things that I read up on, and it is true"... But is it only true BECAUSE i read upon it? Here's an example (really stupid one) if you don't understand the topic Truth is that... If you eat cake every day, you will be happy. So If I actually ate a cake everyday, is it because of the Truth that cake makes me happy, or is it my memory of that Truth manipulating me to think that I am happy? So if I didn't learn this "Truth", would I be happy if I ate the cake regardless??
  4. @Faceless So the new is never new. It's always old. Projecting the old is new and vice versa. It's the same? If Truth is dynamic, it cannot be achieved via static means, through thoughts? I also love how this topic was supposed to be from an epistemological perspective and turned into the validity of Truth and thoughts, haha.
  5. @Faceless I can definitely see the I creating its own version of Truth. The thing that I'm still trying to figure out is how to leads to the same destination. The fact also of creating the Truth is indeed creating security but is needed to arrive to... Somewhere. Once that security is gone, and the agenda is no longer, I can arrive. When I say I want to be what I'm "supposed" to be, that itself is just an escape from security. That was my own version of Truth All of what I just said is a version of Truth. It's very subtle
  6. Yes! You are right. This is a needed reminder. Something i actually forgot and that is everything I am do is already me. I am constantly changing, and that is the real me. I will change regardless if I want to, meaning there is no actual "supposed" to be but there is to an extent (with the consciousness and such). But yes, you've just realised I have no respect on it. Not giving a fuck about the experiences, the things or what I want is is invalid since how do I know if I don't actually want it if I never had it . I think I need to think even bigger with my life-purpose vision What I don't want = What I want @Faceless Taken me a hour to get through your post lol I think you're suggesting anything you make in psychological time is trapped in psychological self (trapped in the I) and that it's version is based on the psychological self. But regardless of what Truth is out there, it all leads to the same one place?
  7. What if it isn't though? You see people following "crazy" theories and they think are right. What if I am the crazy one? . Not wanting anything in life? That sounds fucking stupid doesn't it?
  8. Yeah, I do, but most of the time it feels forced to do those things like I can go to the Netherlands with my friends and have an experience over there yet it feels forced. Ever since I discovered this work, I just feel like I don't want anything anymore, and I feel at peace with that... I've seen a lot of forum posts talking about this but it just isn't really interesting for me. What I think is happening is that I'm drifting my attention from working on myself, and I feel fine with that. I don't want to work on myself for egoistical means but work on myself to actually get to the "What I'm supposed to be". Then I feel like I'm just manipulating myself with all of this knowledge
  9. @Nahm I want to be what I'm supposed to be. This is the key. What I don't want is not to be the real me. To be lied to I have a vision in my life, the materialistic vision, but you are right in saying I don't have anything for the me.
  10. This is something to seriously ponder about... But don't I need to do all of this bullshit to actually see what I don't want? I think I have convinced myself that there is anything other than myself... I've kinda lost myself? is that what you're trying to say?
  11. I really like this. I need to include everything, even the manipulations. Thank you for saying I'm pretty switched on, it just reminded me to keep on carrying on with the contemplating, and go deeper with the questions like you asked e.g. what is actual manipulation. I need to also explore more into epistemology @ajasatya Solid advice, but what about if you don't actually know what you want? With this work, I sometimes feel like I don't even know what I want. Why do I want to make myself liberated, is there a reason to? Liberation seems egoistical? Perhaps these are just distractions and self-deceptions to stop me from advancing...
  12. This is very true. Sometimes I even have self-doubts about the things I learn, and those self-doubts are fears of submitting. If I submit to something, and it's "fake" or "lies" then I feel like shit. But the trick is... Everything is fake and lie. Everything is a construction by the mind. Something I still need to experience. But it isn't really a question of control. It's more like, is this the actual Truth? Well, not even Truth but is it right? But the need to know if this is the actual Truth/Right is just self-deception and a distraction. That's where the root is or close to it So I'm slowly seeing this distraction and root. Still needs work though
  13. @Serotoninluv Yep. Just in the first 20 mins of part 1, and a lot of strong insights already like I am actually tricking myself. The mind and it's structure is deception-making, and not the influence of the outside. It's actually so obvious lol
  14. @Serotoninluv Now that is something I haven't watched. I didnt know he had a video on this
  15. This is not working for me... I'm still lost here. Good insights here but something is missing What I have also seen is that my ego responds to everything. Every action is a swift movement of my ego mind, but I only have awareness of this. What I've discovered is that if I learn something new, let's say I watch a new video by Leo, I surely respond to that video through actions, and through my thoughts. It gets stored in my mind, and I respond to that memory. I feel like I'm stimulating rather than being. You can copy and purify it, but again with the purification, it's affected by "you" still. The purification could just lie My ego could lie. How do I spot the lie? Any videos would be appreciated The ego isn't bad... It's just that I don't clouding
  16. @Misagh such a beautiful answer. Thank you! <3
  17. Why try to create when the love is already there <3
  18. Art

    @Fuku Passion is linked mainly with life purpose. Is art something you REALLY want to do. Your look on art without ego is good. Basically art shouldn't benefit you. It shouldn't help you relief stress, or help you with escapism, and that's something you have to look over yourself and see if it is actually doing that for you currently. Art can help ask you create questions that are used in contemplating like what is the meaning of life or it can help you with awareness of your emotions like painting when you are in an emotional state can show you that certain emotion in that state and even purge it out. If you create art when you're angry, that art is angry and thus you can really see the emotion, visually. (Just an example). This is why I'm more interested in abstract art, where art has actual meaning and can come from a very special place, within You can turn art into one of your spiritual hobbies, if you do it right. manga and comics, are not part of this art. Drawing of the sun's reflection on a beautiful river is.
  19. Art

    Art that is made from the roots of the ego is a waste of time. You have to realise that art is ultimately created by a human. That human is unlikely to be part of the 1% of individuals who are probably not even aware of self-actualization let alone enlightened But art isn't a waste of time if it has purpose. If it has passion, if it has love If you were to create art, and done in a way that has no ego influence, you would create... The universe So I don't think anything is a waste of time unless it's egostical. To be honest, to even say something is a waste of time is bad, because it's suggesting that you're trying to get "something" but what are you trying to get? Let time be wasted, who gives a fuck? Oh right, your "ego" does That's why it can be different when you make. It's made from love because it was made by you. If you have no ego, and you made art, it's just pure love examples of egoistical art is like portraits of Monarchies... Or Romantic art
  20. Finding passion in the actual spiritual working. You say you want results, but who wants results? Isn't this your ego wanting results? A way to discipline yourself is to put awareness onto yourself further. If you put awareness throughout the day, sure you will see that you're not disciplined but you are unaware what is actually causing it. It could be addiction, it could be self-doubt, it could be distractions, it could be boredom, it could be many things why you are not disciplined.
  21. Oh my God... I can peruse enlightenment, sure. I can do these meditations, sure. I can do the practices, sure... I do it not because I want enlightenment but because it feels like a natural occurrence to me... But it isn't even about me... As I continue, I will lose my friends, my family. the world... I will have to face my mum and say goodbye. I will have to face my dad and say goodbye, to everybody... I don't meant physically.. I mean metaphysical, consciousness, Awareness-ly? They will lose me, and I will lose them. As I peruse, I am not killing myself, I am killing everybody... I kill mother nature, I kill the world, I kill the puppies?! I think killing is harsh, I should use the word disappear actually... I will literally disappear everything, and now I am scared but delighted because I feel like I'm finally making progress It was never about me! It should never be about me?
  22. I would go for longer to be honest. 2-3 days for me is just getting use to the retreat. go for a week, 7 days if you want, but if you can't... Then it's fine because 2-3 days is better than no day I don't know if this is personal with me but I always have doubts about retreats during them. I feel like it's a waste of time. But it REALLY ISN'T. Towards the end of the retreat, you will see the huge difference. So if that thought ever comes, remember, it gets "better" towards the end. First couple of days will suck!