Tal

By the way Always meditation made me feel bliss, I just have to connect more to feeling and guidance and stick to it with love to myself as I should

@Nahm Thank you very much for the long comment, I am already feeling optimistic. I started reading your story but will finish by tommorow. Very interesting and I can very much relate to your transformation but I have a long way ahead of me. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

@Breakingthewall Yes I do need to face it next time it arises, thx too

@snowyowl Thank you I like what you said about the fear subsiding and feeling safe again so you can relax and float. I do need to modify my practice because I am sometimes terrified of meditating. But Always after I feel more relaxed and clear.

@Inliytened1 First of all, thank you I do appreciate your helpful comment. I was asking because I am really affraid that my fears will come up again and I will lose control of my life again. I want to recognize the truth of the situation, but I feel like I need a 'right' environment for that, like someone supportive being with me when I let all the trauma out. I do want to feel liberated. Do you know or anybody else of some form of therapy of trauma that let's you express your self freely without judgment. I feel like if I'm gonna start crying and releasing emotions in my house with my family, they just would not understand me and judge me for that. Do you think it's still ok to just let everything out by myself or go to a 'right environment'?

Thank you to all of you! It makes me cry to read it, because I suffered so much( It's hard for me to believe that other people suffered as I did, but I don't really know) I can't hold it anymore. @Nahm I feel you are talking to me not at my current level, but thank you for the insight. I really wanted practical advice for my level. Like talking to a therapist, doing some kind of yoga, breathing, healing etc. By creator you mean what? The tragic is that I went not too long ago to a psychiatrist that also has interest in spirituality and he told me that the drugs given to me were like the opposite of psychedelics, meaning they make your ego stronger and smaller. I can't agree with that more, The amount of suffering I experienced was insane. Imagine that not only you erase your meditation progress, but you actually make it worse than before you even started to meditate, your ignorance and attachment to ego, thoughts, self-image, selfishness increases. Because I experienced some ups and downs in life, I now do really appreciate the suffering of some people, life is tough until you get to the 'very top'. I'm not blaming the drug, I'm just saying the effects it had on myself. what do you mean by profit of fear & 'scripts' , what people are you referring to, is it modern clinical psychologists?. Also ,then who should I talk to instead? The definition of "i" is self/ ego, and it's natural to be attached to your self, and what happened to me is that I was not feeling safe because my whole reality was vibrating and I lost touch with my 'original regular self'. From there I reacted impulsively, avoiding it and trying to feel my body by touching it and 'remembering' my old connection to my body and reality as this finite self- body- identity. Thank you! what do you mean by the fear as belief? Fear is a real feeling like joy, isn't it? so are you saying that joy is also a belief? or are you saying that the content of the thought associated with the fear is not true? and do you mean that I should let go of the fear, and let it disappear on it's own, or to detatch from the fear and observe it ?

Also something interesting in the journey i find that you cannot imagine so far into the future what it's gonna feel like or be like, so you can't really know what's possible for you, until you do the work.

I find that the less conscious you are the more your motivation is avoidance and the more conscious you are the more you care about truth for it's own sake. It's like Deficiency/fear motivation and Being/growth motivation it maslow's terms

@Leo Gura Isn't the two connected, because findng the Truth also means your suffering ends, and vice versa?

vegtables, fruit , macha green tea, omega 3 EPA/DHA 2:1 ratio ( can be found in wild fish or capsules or fish oil), chicken breast, sweet potato. Also you might watch Leos video about what to eat, and his supplements video. Feeling good can come from a combination of stuff like food, meditation, cold shower, physical exercise, breathing, being in nature, that's for me. I find working out and then eating healthy carbs and protien make me feel very good, because i feel it's making my metabolic cycle faster and my whole digestive system functions way better.

Leo was always advocating big picture understanding and integrating of hundreds of diverse perspectives, so it is useful to use both ways to make progress in awakening. I personally find mindfulness to be good in the beginning and when your awareness grows you can just do nothing and progress more, just by recognizing with awareness what is already, with your mindfulness skills you developed before which at this point are effortless hence it's doing nothing .

@Kyle Gjerseth Thank you, this is very kind of you. I thought psychedelics are not reccomended at this young age. i saw a psychologist for a year on and off and it helped a bit. but it's hard for me to express myself so i do not benefit from it that much now.

@Kalo Thanks. I just don't see it as practical advice. I am literaly panicked of letting go by myself being alone, because that's what iv'e done up to this point. And also once you feel you are dying you think this is the end and you are losing yourself forever( at least that was my experience.) I really want to find some sort of mentor/ teacher who can help me surrender and heal in all was because now i am feeling terrible, my whole body hurts,i am fearful, i am not conscious. i have memories of ecstatic experiences and a sense of real happiness from the past, and that is what i want to go towards.

@Leo Gura I agree. A lot of people assume that they're way developed than they actually are. That's why they also underestimate the problems with creating an institution out of actualized.org, and it's a distraction from developing oneself. @ShaharA I agree. I also think there are stage turquoise communities that are pretty well functioning and are setting an example for the future of humanity.

I understand your practice and accept it

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/getting-better-sleep.htm/ This can also help Apply everything and belive in yourself. You can achieve what other people achieve!

Apply the wisdom from the book The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs Book by Stephen S. Ilardi

Go to nature and hike, meditate, be and motivation will come. I would also reccomend fish oil every day

What do you think the future of actualized.org would be like? In 5, 10, 20 years from now? Leo, your last vision is to make this a Sage University. Would you want a community to grow from it? Would there be meet up groups? Would there be physical retreats and seminars inspired by actualized.org? Will there be a books written on actualized.org? Will there be a collaboration between actualized.org and other companies so that they could produce a bigger much wider upgrading in human consciousness and stages of developement? What new topics would we cover here? What are the video's generaly gonna look like? More silence than words? Slower more aware-during the delivery? Less concepts and more being? Or concepts and less being? More courses that take you step by step like the life purpose course? Or more topics that you need to figure out how to apply to life by yourself in your life situation? Use your imagination to tell us what you see actualized.org in the future to come. Thank you for your sharing with us!

I see actualized.org opening it's doors for a growing turquoise community in the years to come. Maybe the company will become a community in which everyone volunteers to the whole and will feature an integrative holistic educational and living center where everybody will be loving, caring, and working to the upgrading of the world's consciousness. What are your thoughts and do you see such a community evolving from actualized.org in the 20 years to come?

Allow the resistance. Sit and do nothing.

@Seiden nice, these things come from nowhere. There is a long way to go

I would recommend reading The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs Book by Stephen S. Ilardi. It provides a proven system to cure depression. The 6 steps are: 1. Physical Exercise(running, swimming etc) 2. Omega 3 1000-2000 mg of EPA per day. 3. Engaging activity( don't think, Do) 4. Sunlight exposure 5. Social support( connecting with other people) 6. Good sleeping habits This is really a No-bulshit proven guide that can defeat your depression in just a few weeks, and it's also elements which are good for everyone to live a better life.