Sirius

@Principium Nexus Posture and Structual Integrity is very important.The more erect our spine is, they more aware we are. The human body was designed to move, not sit all day long.About sleep, i believe you should first of all get rid of your pillow if you're using one and sleep on a harder surface than regular beds.The body aligns itself ,we just have to get rid of the cushions and comfort.

Hello everyone, this is my first time on this community.I'm very glad to be here. I will be as short as possible.I am sure there are fellow beings here that can help me out. So the thing is, I am tired of wasting my life here.My suffering seems to have no ending at all, and there is not much i can do about it.I am personally dealing with alot of stuff in my head, for many years and also as a child as far as i can remember.I was always kinda fucked up, just like everybody else.Of course there's alot worse than me ,but that doesnt make me feel quite better.Since i had a few awakening experiences, i discovered my true potential and also came to the conclussion that there is nothing for me here.I live in a dirty city, without clean air and all i can see is sickness. My highest value is health, in the mind and the body.My vision is ,complete purification.I want to achieve a state of optimal health of my physiology. I cannot do this here, my enviroment is not favourable.I have many ideas of how to make a living, and i know i am capable of everything but i set highest value my health.So i decided, THATS IT.I am leaving everything behind, for now at least.I want to cleanse myself.I want to escape this dysfunctional society.I wanna be a monk.BUT , i have no idea how to go about it.So i thought about joining this nice community Your help is highly appreciated.Any information of yours will point me out to my direction. So how can i go about it?Where should i start my search from?I am positive i will get accepted somewhere in the east.But i have no idea how things work over there.Do i just find a monastery and knock their door?Simple as that? I love physical exercise, so i aim for something that contains alot of movement rather than just meditation and whatever else. My personal thanks to Leo, one of the people that changed my understanding about life through his content.I admire your work and your strength for doing all of this.

So the thing with me is, since i started getting deep into meditation and being more aware of what is happening inside me i realized that i have many "programms" running all the time with no control over them.Very complex programms. I have tried to solve them via thinking, but it doesnt really seem to work so much.I also get disctracted all the time and it needs alot of effort and energy to "work through" them which makes me frustrated. The question is, is it really worth it paying more and more attention in order to solve them and eventually get rid of them OR is it better to just BE AWARE of them, not intensily(because i can also watch deep through observation) and LET THEM GO.Just like meditation.Will this ,with time make them more and more weak? Have you heard of "Stimulus and response" ?My idea is, be aware of the stimulus, and not respond to it, just like i used to.But also not interract with them "trying to solve it".What do you suggest? I am dealing with alot of Obsessive compulsive behaviours.It's all about thoughts that make me fearfull.I believe that I am in danger when I'm actually not.Pure imagination of course.

@Viking You are totally right.I was trying to escape from life.My mood changes alot lately.I just need to push the whole thing into it and snap it, just like Bruce Lee says.I changed my mind now.

@Neo Your words make sense.Whenever i start interracting with these thoughts i get very aggitated because in the end i achieve nothing.It consumes alot of my energy trying to figure out how to solve such a complex program my mind has created.And in the end i always feel like i should just fucking let go and they'll vanish with time.All i need is more awareness so i can watch them better and letting go of fear. Sounds like a good approach?

@frnsh Hi friend Throughtout the years I've Observed how these obsessions work on me.Although i dont have much control over them, knowing has helped alot.They are surrounded by a few certain beliefs and are triggered by fear.It is a very complex program that i let take over because the mind and me thought we were in danger, but its all imaginary.I cant be writing down anything, i dont feel like i win anything at all, because i've done it.I feel like they need more ignorance rather than attention.Awareness, watchfullness and letting go

@JustinS Hey there. Psychologists say, "be aware of thoughts of start analyzing". I disagree with that, maybe totally. I prefer just being aware without being attached.I am thew watcher, not the DoEr just like Osho said.The problem is i cant rest my awareness alot.These thoughts are very annoying and complex.They stem from fear. But my friend I am sure that they will lose their power with time, completely.I'm dealing with Obsessive compulsive behaviours for many years, and since i started meditating everything changed.

@Quanty Hey man. I actually wanna get rid of certain thought patterns that come along with fear. I dont understand what you just described.My meditation is stillness and awareness by effort if I'm in public or doing something.

@Crystalous You're right , the mind always follows.And yes, i can achieve this state right here but it's going to be alot harder to keep myself centered while participating on the illusion . Think about the lifestyle on a monastery.Everyone is out of the "matrix" , or trying to be. Nature is great, I'm running frequently to get some clean air. Also ,yeah the psyche changes, and mine changes everyday so I'm never sure about anything.Strange times

@Mrkvn8 I dont journal, i get distracted if i sit down to write. Do you think the mind is capable of remembering everything?I'm not the kind of person that is going to journal and return to read.

@tsuki I threw away too much at first, and of course it came back.But generally, i need alot of work and time to reveal all.

@Prabhaker Oh yeah.I am fully aware Osho.It would definately help.

@Ether I'm sure yeah I've done it myself.But its alot harder on our society.

@Preetom A retreat would be great.But my biggest issue is that sometimes I am so fucking tired of suffering.I got my own stuff running 24/7 and i have to go with the system to survive or thrive or whatever the case may be. My decissions and my behaviour changes all the time.I need time, effort and patience.I am sure i will be okay.

@tsukiHey bro. I wish i could surround myself with wise and awakened people.I am alone on my path and very lonely sometimes. I'm not actually trying to run away from my past, i just need more peace to reprogram my subconscious mind.There's alot of shit inside which I recently started to truly being aware of.And oh man, how the fuck could i live like that?Realizing that i was such i machine for my whole life was very scary in the beggining.Reversing such a thing, the ego practically, will take me many many years. I also feel sick and fucked up but I'm working on it.I changed all my habits, and I'm working on my addictions as much as i can.huge difference.The people...oh man, i just see nothing but sleepiness and sickness. The thing with me is, i have multiple personalities since i started working with my ego.Consciousness fluctuating, mood and behaviour changes all the time.Circumstances also are important.Can you believe that right now I am motivated to stay here in this rathole and go along with the illusion and the dreams?Strange things are happening.

@MofO Hey there. I have experienced "the flow state" so i kinda get what you mean.At least i think so. All my values and everything else are truly meaningless, but that doesnt mean i should stay depressed.I need to make my moves fast. It's not about forgetting what i've lived in the past.Its about reprogramming my mind to function on a more resourceful manner.I am also dealing with alot of obsessive complulsions for many years.My core of reality is messed up.