Daniel107

Thanks for both your replies, it gets me motivated to keep going on the journey. I guess I'll just have to face whatever negative thoughts emotions and contradictions my mind sends at me, and see what's left of it afterwards. What I've noticed is that what really triggers me the most is all of these contradictions (life purpose vs life is meaningless, doing vs being, etc). The mind cant really understand this so thats when the fear kicks in.

Hey @Leo Gura what would say is a good strategy for reconciling contradictions? Specifically; having a life's purpose vs knowing that life is meaningless?

Hey there, I started my spiritual journey six months ago, but really got into it about 2 months ago. I built meditation/contemplative/introspection habits. Since I really got into it, I started getting anxious about life/existence and this has increased to the point of having pure existential fear (I guess thats what the dark night of the soul is about). I believe the best terms to describe what I'm feeling is high anxiety and sometimes I get depersonalization symptoms (where everything seems dreamy and unreal). What I cant concieve is how can it be that life is really meaningless; how can one be grateful for life if everything is meaningless? how can one enjoy all of life's simple pleasures? how can you truly function in the world (build a business, have a family, sports, hobbies, etc) if it doesnt mean anything? how can you truly love someone or even yourself if life is meaningless? Therefore what is love if it doesnt mean anything? I know that in the future I want to have a close and loving family, along with building a business that brings me passion and motivation. How can you put effort in your goals if really there is no point? I'm having a hard time through this contradiction, which causes considerable fear and frustration. I know that what I have to do is to release resistance to this and to just be aware of everything thats going on inside me, but what it seems to be happening is that the more I let go, the more anxious and fearful I get. Just wanted to know if anyone has gone through something similar and what are your thoughts. Thanks