KMB4222

What I am is this experiencing this. My experience puts me here, doing whatever I am doing. I can't claim to know that I am God or anything along those lines. I can't claim to be "done", either. So I can't make any claims of an absolute nature. In my current understanding, I know that it is okay to not know. I can't confirm or deny any claims about my true nature, other than I am this experiencing this. (And a whole lot of now knowing as well).

To be honest, I'm pretty boring. There probably won't be anything exciting coming from me. My experience of what I am (or at least where I am at now) is quite simple. Just this experiencing this. You can label it anything you want, but for me it all comes down to the here and now, and that's where I've found the answer. But again, I don't have any absolute truths, so I can only speak for myself.

I don't know what the correlation between the spleen and the appendix is. And they can be depicted in any colour the artist chooses. It's not necessary for me to know, nor do I have any interest in learning about the spleen and appendix. I actually don't care that much about learning how the human body works, so long as mine works fairly well and serves me well while I am here.

Maybe I should clarify what I meant. My experience is that I am THIS experiencing THIS. When I say THIS I am merely pointing to here and now, in whatever form I take, in whatever moment I am in. It's more of an existential not knowing than it is a knowing of something absolute. So what I am is whatever THIS is experiencing whatever THIS is.

Perhaps you’re right. Maybe I’m not done. But how is it possible to experience my true nature if I have been told what I am? The mind plays endless tricks. Even an experience can be a subjective truth (trick of the mind). I don’t see how anything anybody says can be of any use.

Who decides what enlightnement is? It is a word that points to something which we discover for ourselves. My understanding of what I am isn't limited to just the physical body. I agree there is something larger going on here. But I don't have answers of an absolute nature, so I can't say for sure what it is.

@Sahil Pandit Thank you for the reply. Self-love is hard to keep in mind at a time like this, but it's definitely needed. All the best, take care.

Lately I’ve had some deep realizations. The first was that I was being lived as opposed to living. I never had a choice in being born or where I grew up, etc. So my entire life is conditioning, even my choices are based on conditioning. Soon after that I realized that when I die I will go back to being the nothing that I was before I was born. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. I feel completely unlike myself in almost every way. Is this nothing that occurs after death THE Nothing that is supposedly my true nature? All I can figure right now is that I could be going through a Dark Night, and that if my entire existence is hollow (for the most part), then I have to build from the ground up again. This, of course, means leaving much of what I used to be behind. I know there is still a feeling of “me”, but I don’t take it to mean what it used to. “Me” is just whatever this thing (body) is going through life like a conditioned robot trying to pretend it isn’t conditioned. There is a lot of emotional pain and disillusionment. I'm also going through some very stressful things in my personal life, so I have to figure out how to engage this process without disassociating or using it as an escape mechanism from my anxieties. So, basically, what can this conditioned self do? Any tips or insight are greatly appreciated. Thank you,

I’ve been reading a book about non-duality, and the author mentions how it is necessary to quiet the mind because it gets in the way, so to speak. The author mentions that the mind can never get you to your true nature, and that if you sense your true nature, you are actually just thinking about it using the mind, because the mind is only capable of creating thoughts about things, as opposed to directly experiencing them. So this leads me to wonder: If we are all one infinite consciousness/awareness, why would infinite consciousness even create a limited thing such as the mind? Why would consciousness do anything or create anything at all? Why not just let us in on what we are right from the start? Thank you.

Definitely some helpful tips here. Thank you again. The main thing is that I haven't decided what I want, so I'm being led around by the notes and relying on them for direction instead of putting things into practice and finding my own map along the way.

Hey everyone. I'm stuck in a cycle of note-taking lately. I have notes on addictions I want to break, habits I want to install, meditation practices to implement, and lots of tips (eg. let go of beliefs, stop taking positions, etc) to keep in mind along the spiritual journey. I read a book called Trust (based on Osho's lectures), and what I basically got from it was that you can't hold on to ANYTHING. You have to let it all go. Everything. Except, I feel like I need these notes, reminders, etc. in order to practice spirituality "correctly". So now I'm stuck. Do I let the notes go and never look back? Or do I keep some of them and let the rest go? I think I've created an image in my head that if I let the notes go, then all of a sudden I will feel a great sense of peace. I feel like I have to do as much as I can, otherwise I might miss something, and then never become enlightened. Also, I'm a perfectionist/completionist, which makes this rather stressful. thank you, Kevin

I appreciate the reply! I should definitely implement taking breaks. Thanks again.

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If enlightenment is beyond the mind's comprehension, then what becomes enlightened? The body and/or mind reacts in some way to the experience, so what is it that realizes “I am everything, I am God, I am infinite, It’s all one.”? Does awareness or consciousness come to the realization? Or does pure awareness reveal itself to the mind, and then the mind is left to fend for itself in coming to terms with such a realization?

I forget where I heard this, but the person was saying that you need to think and act in the same motion. Too much thinking without action leads to more thinking, and then procrastination through strategizing and other deferral methods. It might be more beneficial in this case you think and act at the same time. Don't think about taking action, just take action to get started, and trust that you can plan your approach as you go along. If you don't find certain topics interesting, try to tie them to something you do find interesting in some way. For example, I don't enjoy business matters too much, but I do enjoy chess. So if I have to do something business-related I sometimes consider approaching it in a more "chess-like" way. Think of your favourite hobbies, and what you enjoy about them. Then try to approach studying physics and chemistry with these hobbies in mind. How do physics and chemistry tie into your hobbies? Can studying these enable you to enjoy your hobbies in a different way? Hope this helps. Good luck!

Exactly! Sort of like accepting that you are taking action.

One method I use is to relax my body and focus on the feeling of gravity pulling me into the bed. I imagine that the entire gravitational pull of the earth is focused on pulling me towards it.

An interesting aspect of being the best version of yourself is that it might not be a static image or ideal that you can create in your mind. As long as you are always learning, practicing, and growing, the best version of yourself might actually be the closest to what you are right now. I don't mean this in the sense that you are how you are and that's that, no need to change or improve. I mean that the process itself is the mechanism to creating the best you. You can't be anything other than what you are in that specific moment, but you can set intentions and work towards being a better you in the next moment.

One helpful method I've tried is to track my media/entertainment, etc intake over the course of a few weeks. I try not to restrict myself too much during this time because what I'm looking for is an accurate measure of what and how much of it I am consuming. Create a chart listing the following: 1. type of activity (be specific, such as naming the game you play, or the podcast you listened to). 2. how long you spent engaging in the activity 3. how many minutes of the media you actually enjoyed or felt were worth the time for you (this one is a bit tricky, because this is the part where you will feel as if you are giving something up, or about to, and your ego will try to convince you that you need these things) In this way you can get a better idea of what you actually get out of the activity, rather than spending time on it just out of habit. The first step in curing an addiction or habit is being aware of it and how you feel about it. Over time, certain habits will fall away because your personal growth will take precedence over them. Just be honest with yourself about why you engage in them and what your priorities are. As for the fear of getting bored without the stimulation, that's because the ego wants the easiest form of stimulation it can get. Once you start cutting back on your media intake, the excitement of the moment just as it is will slowly begin to reveal itself.

I get that same feeling as well. I try to remind myself that I don't know what the person has experienced in life, or what their current mental, emotional, or spiritual state might be. It's difficult to come to terms with the feeling, especially when you have found something that has improved your life in a great way. I'm still floored by the direction my life could have gone if I hadn't become involved with meditation and other spiritual practices. Part of the process is reconciling what is with what you can do about it. I've found that it's best to try to guide people, but never expect them to change in any particular way. Just be there for them if that's what you feel is right. It's difficult to let go of a measure of control your mind wants to have in the matter. After a while it begins to become a bit more peaceful. As saddening as it feels sometimes, I try to remind myself how nice it is to have a different perspective on the matter. I feel privileged to not be stuck in certain low-consciousness behaviour any more (or at least more aware of it when I do engage in LC behaviour).

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Most of these questions were inspired by reading Sadhguru's book "Don't Polish Your Ignorance...It May Shine". What is the me/i/identity that i am holding on to? What do I keep telling myself, trying to convince myself of? What am I holding onto? What lessons can I learn from ego-less or lower-ego beings? What priorities and hobbies do I feel are dominating me? How am I letting my guard down, slacking off where I shouldn’t be? How am I treating my environment? (people, places, objects) How am I getting in my own way? How can I be more of a leaver? (ie. taking only what is necessary, when necessary) How am I punishing others? How can I take my power back from society? What is my current sense of worth? What personal boundaries am I not respecting? What parts of me can I bury and let go of? How can i identify with that which breaks me? How is there too much variety in my life? What can I trust in? how can I increase my relationship with this trust? How am I intentionally building my personality to suit my activity? How can I structure my personality in a conscious way? How am I structuring my personality in an unconscious way? How am I using faith when I should be using commitment? What do I commit to? How is my sense of manhood/masculinity just an illusion? How am I playing the game solely for victory? How can I play just to play? How can I let go of making my life about me? How am I constantly gathering, acquiring, accumulating? What do I need to do now? How far am I willing to go? Or do I just want to have a nicer life? In what ways can I find myself less in objects? What are the objects I identify with? Why? How do I act loving and kind in ways to just get what I want? What is it about being alive that frightens me? Am I seeking security in death? How? What things am I characterizing as be-all and end-all? How am I seeking unconsciously? How can I make my seeking a conscious behaviour? In what ways do I blame others? In what ways do I feel I am entitled? How can I separate the person from the act? How can I be more empathetic towards other beings? What are the foreseeable benefits of being more empathetic? How can I open more doors to communication with others? What am I doubtful about in my life? How am I acting as if I will live forever? What is uncertain in life? My life in particular? Is there anything in life that is permanent? My life in particular? How can I firm up and train my mind? How am I creating the world? Go through a typical day in your head. What kinds of things are you doing? How do they make you feel? What are the different emotions that arise? Why do they arise when and how they do? How am i giving my power to other people/systems? In what areas (and how) am i still using a trampoline when i should build a stepladder? How am i heading toward my potential? How am i not? What kinds of noises bother me? Why? How have I made myself unaware? Am i willing to die the way i am right now? Why and/or why not? How are my choices supporting my ego? What do i claim ownership over that doesn’t actually belong to me? How can i pay equal attention to everything? What are the attachments i have to my own body? How can i lessen these? What are the illusions I have of people (particular people, people in general)? (ie. what are my expectations of them?) What are the illusions/expectations I have of myself? What (to me) is the right thing to do? How am I living accidentally? How can I live more intentionally? What are the daily challenges I face? How can I use them as a mechanism for growth? What media do I consume? How does it affect me? What is its value to me? How am I identifying with that which I am not? How am I not enjoying creation as it is? How can i be clear about what i am seeking? What am i seeking? Observe people/nature. What are your thoughts and feelings about what you observe? In what ways am i acting fanatical? How am I thinking about life rather than living it? What expectations do I have of life? Of my life, in particular? What hero roles am i playing? What is really obstructing my progress? How am i holding myself back? What routines do i speed through that can i do painfully slowly? When do i feel a sense of lack? How can i let go of this sense of lack? What "small" things do i not pay enough attention to? How am i engaging in low-quality consciousness? How can i learn to hold my beliefs lightly? In what ways is investigation never-ending? How can i go from belief to direct experience? In what ways can i re-contextualize my outlook on life, etc? What am i defending (about myself)? How do i defend it? How can i behave/be more authentic? How am i being inauthentic? How am i seeking in the service of certainty, instead of seeking in the service of truth? How does my seeking certainty limit me and my progress? How can i seek in the service of truth? How can i get in touch with my own wholeness? Why are you afraid to let it go? What would things be like if you let it go? Why do i lie? How do i lie to myself? How do my lies affect me? How do i lie to others? How do my lies affect others? What are the subtle ways i am trying to be better than others? What are the ways i am trying to be something other than what i am?

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