PsiloPutty

I really would like to do San Pedro. What an excellent trip report....you really did some healing, and I'm happy for you! If you have a chance, PM me the info of the place you went to do this. Thank you.

The idea is that if you set a strong enough intention, it will still be circling in the back of your mind as you trip. It sometimes goes that way and it sometimes doesn't, but it's a good practice to get into. You can still surrender while having an intention, that's important to note.

@SoonHei I think you described it well, and that's what I get out of my time following my breath during the day. It's the essence of mindfulness really, and your monkey mind gets quieted quite a bit. Again, I'm not on it 100% of the time, but I would guess it's become enough of a habit that I'm on it 30% of my day, which may or may not sound like a lot, but I used to walk around at 0%, so it's a big difference for me. It's frustrating as hell for the 1st few weeks because you're always forgetting, but I have found it to get easier.....your mind treats it as any other habit, and starts reminding you to do it more and more often.

@Preetom Yep, I remember that thread. I like him! He stirred the pot around here, and that's refreshing.

Are you still at it? Have you slept any? Can you eat meals like that? Just kidding about the last one.

I understand how you feel, I really do. Have you ever talked to someone about this? I mean besides here, and here is a good place to. I just mean like a therapist. I was really closed-minded about that stuff a few years ago, but I had a couple issues going on and I'm glad I talk therapy a chance, because it really opened me up and changed the way I thought about things. And it's okay to go into it scared. I would do that first, but on the meditation side of it, your loneliness is obviously all wrapped up in your discomfort with meditating at home. There's guilt in there too, isn't there? It's because you want something from "out there".... outside of your house. A relationship, friendship, support and such? And you feel bad for sitting on your ass in your house when part of you thinks you should be out there. Your meditation will make you look at this stuff more closely. There's discomfort in really looking at your emotions especially at first, but it gets easier, and becomes more like a science experiment, where you are just examining the parts of the emotion, its components. It's Shinzen Young stuff. Anyway, I would talk to someone first priority, but maybe keep that in mind if you continue meditating at home. For now, just go to the park and places like that. Until you feel more encouraged. And I just want to tell you that the universe is a much better place with you in it!

So, are you meditating now? What can you tell us about ....this experience?

When is your next nap?

You're focusing too hard on your 3rd eye, brother.

What was your cannabis usage like before the experiment? What do you think your usage will be like from here on out?

Unless you're a filthy beast, you're not gonna be munching popcorn and watching Gura on 5g of mushrooms. I have some sort of natural tolerance to them, but no way I could sit and focus on/comprehend/absorb complex videos on that high a dose. There's just SO fucking much going on internally for that sort of external focus on 5g. For me, about 3.5g is my limit for being able (and willing) to engage my brain with videos and such, but even then it's sporadic attention, and the trip would be put to better use doing something else. I'd say 2g is the sweet spot for me, as far as doing what you're talking about, but Alan Watts is my choice in those circumstances.

Vewy twippy! I've said this before, but since starting on this path, I've had to rethink what madness is. I think it's a continuum, and we're all on it at different points. There's a lady who walks by my office every week or so, and I see her out the window as I eat my lunches. She's always talking to herself and apparently answering herself as well, sometimes with wild, expressive gesticulations from the unfolding conversation. As I sit here and think "what a crazy person, the poor thing!" it occurs to me that I do that same sort of thing sometimes when I'm at home, and I'd be thought of as nuts if people saw me. Do I think that putting some sticks and glass between me and the outside world makes me less insane than someone who does it without walls to hide them? Who's crazier?

@SoonHei With lots of practice, you can do just about anything while following your breath during the day. Eating, reading, typing, driving, conversing, etc. I'm not as constant with it as Hellspeed and some other guys here, though. I wish one of them would start a thread on the technique and its challenges, benefits, etc.

Balls....you got 'em. *thumbs up * I don't like to pry, but do you have a job? What does this deprivation do to your performance? How long are you meditating at a stretch, and doesn't your mind just want to shut off every time you sit in silence? What do you do to force consciousness. Sorry for all the Qs, I'm fascinated and curious.

@Shaun Ohhhh, don't underestimate mushrooms in this work. Don't eat 5 or 6 grams and think you aren't going to blast off to eternity. They will show you stuff.

I think you're on the right track by watching the emotions as you meditate. Shinzen Young advises to truly focus on an emotion that arises during meditation.....what is the overall feel of the emotion in your physical body? Tingles? Weird heavy feeling in your gut? Tight muscles? What does the emotion feel like in your mind? Do any mental images come up? What sort of images are in your mind when you're with that emotion? Do you hear particular thoughts in your mind? Teasing the emotion into its component parts like that can be helpful in understanding the emotion on its base level.

@okulele That's great. Thank you for the post!

From brief past experiences, I sense that there are big gains in spiritual development to be made with chanting, but I admit that I'm pretty ignorant of the practice. Most of my chanting experience comes from mushroom trips.....for some reason chanting usually seems like a high priority to me on my trips. I sat and chanted "Om" for 90 minutes straight one time and it felt like it connected me with every yogi who ever lived. I felt like I wasn't me for the whole duration of the chant. Ha, yes the mushrooms played their role in that as well. It was deeply empowering and confidence-inspiring. So, while I know that in its raw form, chanting is as simple as sitting and making mouth noises, I also know that I'm missing the guts of the practice. That's what I'd like to learn about. If anyone here has practiced it for awhile, can you please direct me to get me started? Much appreciation!

I agree with this. It's the foundation. And it's weird, someone asked me recently who in history I'd like to have lunch with and I chose LDV. One of the most visionary humans to have lived, in my opinion. Dude had it freaking goin' on.

Inspired me to get a solid meditation practice going. That changed the course of my life in many ways. And later, the Strong Determination video. These cracked the door open for me. No matter how far I get with this path, I won't forget taking the first steps.

@Nagma Ha, yeah I get it.

I just PM'd someone and we touched on this subject. I'd love to think (and I currently do) that I'd embrace ANYthing out of the ordinary, as far as losing my identity, because it can be a sign of moving toward awakening, but who knows I may be doing a freakout like you when I get there. So, while my fingers are on the keyboard, ready to type out an encouraging note to you, I know that it wouldn't come from a place of true understanding, so I'll skip it and just say that I hope you start feeling more together soon. (But I really do hope your ego gets its ass kicked! )

Thanks for the videos guys. I probably need to redefine what chanting means to me, but the first 2 sound more like singing? I don't think I could chant to those, but maybe I could. The last one definitely sounds more chanty to me. I'll do it when I get home.

@i am I AM Can I look into it....through chanting?