Staying stage blue or stage orange in a stage red city

[CodyXarex]

Is it possible?

I tried moving to TJ one time, and what I found was both much of the stereotypes depicted there, as well as some pretty decent people. But what was interesting, was that the decent people weren't as quick to warm up and be friendly as they were in other places I had been.

I also found myself kind of slowly becoming an asshole and kind of giving up on being nice and friendly with people and it felt...So much less stressful that way, and still does despite now being back in the Bible Belt. I find that my interactions with people go much more smoothly when I stop trying to go out of my way to be nice or friendly with people (especially when I biases get in the way), and just largely ignore everyone equally unless I need to talk to them for something work-related or out of curiosity.

I've also encountered some pretty predatory people and had to listen to my gut to steer me away from some potentially dangerous situations, but I also noticed some predatory behaviours within myself. Like the city showed me just how much of a devil I could be when put into an environment that allows for it and is filled with it.

I still met a lot of decent, friendly people, but I noticed I was much slower to trust them, and I think they were also much slower to trust me. I even remember when I first met another American at this volunteer thing she asked me, "Hmm...What's a young man like you doing in TJ?"

At the end of the day, I think everyone there is just hustling to survive. It's just some do it more honestly and morally than others.

What's weirder is, I actually almost kind of miss it. It felt like an alternate universe when compared to the boring Bible Belt where everything is orderly, systematic, Christian-ly, and no one really gives a fuck about you unless you're a part of their church group. It's a damn-hard place to live and not a place I want to date in, but I miss some friends in places close to there, and I almost want to go back just so I can become tougher and train myself out of people-pleasing, and learn how to deal with manipulation. It feels like there's a lot of potential to do either a lot of good or a lot of evil there.

What's anyone's opinion on this?

Edited December 14, 2021 by CodyXarex