My Thoughts on No Strings Attached Sex My over all stance on no strings attached sex, hook up culture, etc. is that there is nothing wrong with it from a moral and spiritual standpoint. I know there are some people who are like "SEX IS SACRED YOU'RE MAKING SOUL TIES WITH EVERYONE YOU FUCK" which I understand why sex is a sentimental thing for some people, I just don't think it's appropriate to think that this is some type of absolute truth and that everyone should align with it. Given the things that I have talked about in my previous post, whether you are in the isle of wanting to wait or wanting to live out your best hoe life, it's important to do that self introspection to make sure that your motivations are coming from a healthy place.   For me personally, for the longest time I thought I was the type of person who would get emotionally attached really easily when it comes to doing anything physical. But what I realized in the last couple weeks is that while I do have sentimentality attached to the sex itself, I don't necessarily have sentimentality towards the person. I think where I'm at right now is that I do are about who I share my firsts with but more so in the sense that I don't want my first times to be unmemorable trash, not in a *I need this person to be special* sense. I don't think I want to be in love with the person that I want to do things with. Sure it's a nice plus but it isn't necessary. What is necessary though is that I have some kind of interesting dynamic with this person and we connect socially to where things aren't awkward and we are both comfortable with one another. I think that the elements of trust and patience are really important to me because I'm still just testing the waters and I'm not comfortable with diving head first without anyone trying to slow down or check in on me.  I also think there is a misconception of women and how they are super emotional and how they need attachment. Sure, some people are like that, but I don't think its a women's thing. There is the opposite stereotype for men as well. And I have a strong suspicion that this bias skews people's sense of self awareness and how they act and view the opposite sex. I'm going to start with men first. I think there is this expectation for a lot of men to engage in meaningless sex, not always because of sexual exploration (there isn't anything wrong with that) but due to a form of masculine posturing. This could range anywhere from viewing women as conquests, not wanting to be emotionally vulnerable because it's seen as feminine or weak, having the expectation that you're supposed to want it all the time even in cases where you feel incredibly uncomfortable and violated, the notion of if you say no that you're less of a man (which often ignores or in some cases glorifies cases of sexual assault), and feeling the need to lose your virginity to prove your masculinity. I'm sure there are more examples but these are just a few things that are off the top of my head.  I also think of a particular anecdote. This is a particular conversation that I swear I encounter about once every couple of years. The scenario goes like this. There is a group of guys that are talking near me (not really paying attention of whether I or my friends exist). One of the guys starts talking about how they are committing to this one girl for a relationship. The other guy says something along the lines of "what do you mean you're getting into a relationship? That's gay bruh. What about fucking bitches?" This has happened a few of times and in those times, either me or my friend look to one another and just jokingly ask "fellas, is it gay to want to be in a heterosexual relationship with a woman?"  And that's precisely the thing. By definition, there is nothing gay about that. But because a lot of performative masculinity is tied to having a lot of partners and not expressing your emotions by developing meaningful relationships, it's seen as less masculine and therefore gay to get into a relationship. Like this makes sense but my friends and I just stand there in rainbow confusion whenever we encounter situations like these because huh lol?? And of course, this conversation also has shades of homophobia and sexism (the two being pretty linked up together but that's another post) in the conversation as well where even if it's considered gay, why would it be a bad thing?? Like are manly men not supposed to have fulfilling relationships with women? Are they just supposed to see them as a means to a sexual end and that's it?  Which then brings me to women. A lot of women are perfectly at peace with having no strings attached sex. We just want to have some basic human decency, know you aren't a psychopath, and know that we are safe and it wouldn't be awkward. And in order to do that there needs to be some basic social and emotional connection. Even if I were to do something that's no strings attached, I'm not going to just go home with someone with a total stranger in most cases. Because not only is it dangerous, but there isn't that amount of context that was built up and it can be awkward. And the irritating thing is that guys will look at this and assume that we're super emotional/ clingy/ easily attached when really we're just asking for the bare minimum for attraction.  And there are some women who internalize this type of thing and assume that their only option is extremely no strings attached casual sex because why tf would men ever want anything more and if you are asking for more, you're "one of those girls" who is being annoying and asking for too much. It lead to a lot of people compromising what they actually want and compromising their boundaries. I have been tempted to do that in a few instances. There is this notion that men don't care about women and they only want to fuck them and that's it. And sometimes, even when you genuinely want something casual, you're made out to believe that you're still asking for too much when you're really asking for basic respect and safety.