Foreplay and Aftercare  Something that I noticed about myself is that whenever I fantasize about sex, I put much more focus on foreplay and aftercare as opposed to  penetration. I think a number of factors are involved. One, as a woman, I know that most women don't get off to penetration alone. Like... there is a reason why straight women often find themselves searching up lesbian porn.  Two, as someone who used to identify as asexual, I tend to fall into the same thought pattern where the over all dynamic, setting, context, and build up is much more important. And three, penetration doesn't feel all that good for me. Don't get me wrong, it isn't unpleasant, but it isn't exactly something that I crave. I don't know if it's a context thing, if it's a physiological thing, or if it's my body just not being used to it. I did write about this in a previous post:  There is also a quote I remember hearing a long ass time ago. I forgot where it's from but it was along the lines of "for men, sex is from the belt down while for women, sex is from the neck up." Idk why but I remember hearing that and being like *lol mood.* I guess it feels extra true to me because I'm mainly sensitive from the shoulders up.  I don't think it's applicable for everyone since it is a wide sweeping generalization but I do think there is some merit to it. I feel like things like setting and context is much more important to women since it takes us a minute to get turned on. But then again, the brain is one of the most important sex organs for both men and women. And also, I guess for me, sex is just as much psychological as it is physical.   Things I think about more often then penetration include but aren't limited to:  cuddling either after sex or leading up to it sitting on his lap having a nice bath or shower massages being held/ hugged in different positions before, during, and after sex making out in general being pinned down the plot line/mood having different parts of my body kissed and returning the favor having someone run his fingers through my hair and vice versa talking before and after sex or really any situation that would make my face go red  And I think especially with porn, all of those things are missing so as a result, I never got hooked on it and if anything I find porn boring af. I wrote about this in a previous post on how one of the problems with porn is not how it reveals too much rather it's how it doesn't reveal enough.  Not only is porn a shitty and unrealistic depiction of sex, it's also a shitty depiction of a lot of people's fantasizes.