@SamC  Reframe it. Instead of trying to get her, you will find out compatibility.  If she flaked you, you didn't do anything wrong. Neither did she. You are just incompatible. Incompatible at this moment in time. A later moment in time, may work. And you may get another shot to find out whether you are compatible now. But at this moment, this was the approach you would typically come up with at this stage in your development, and depending on where she is in her development, she's able to appreciate it, or not. And others will. You did not fuck it up because it could not have been any other way. I call it retroactive determinism. My secret tool against regret, here it is. You found out.