For the last 8 years or so, I have been struggling deeply with being self conscious, and being a people pleaser. I have looked at Leo's videos, and I am applying methods such as the 6 pillars of self esteem, but the problem I have is very severe, and hard to resolve.  Its mainly because in the past(particularly secondary education) I've been involved with people who did not respect me, constantly bullied me, constantly made out as if I was stupid, constantly made out as if I was selfish/nasty/horrible etc and it happened for at least 4 years, constantly. If you haven't had this done to you before, this skewes your ego up something fierce. The ego is extremely insecure, extremely unsure of itself, and extremely afriad of being rejected by someone, and looking like an idiot, or a harsh person. And you can't just 'switch' it off I've tried fixing this issue being pushing myself to being more social, trying to assert myself more, but what I've realized is that, this didn't actually fix the problem, it just changed my external environment to something else. I'm currently in a group a university. And right now I'm confronted with the toughest challenge the ego could possibly encounter, an Asshole, who doesn't want to give any roles or jobs to anyone else, because he is afraid that I will 'stuff up all of the work he has put into it'. I havent confronted him, because my ego fears a return of circumstances of my unfortunate past. But I've had enough. I've had enough of being like this, afraid, and non-assertive. I've spent 8 years like it. I want to be an asshole. I have the group project tomorrow, what should I do tomorrow? What steps should I take to calm my ego down, and confront this person about his behaviour. How do I let go of the past to make sure it doesn't haunt me when I confront people? How will I tackle my fear of looking like a jerk, of being excluded. How will I stand my ground and be sure of myself? I appreciate your time to help me tonight.