Embracing the Awkward Part 2: Finding Confidence in Awkward Moments  When I realized that I was neither awkward nor not awkward, I decided that I was going choose to focus on the more charismatic sides to myself because that's what's best for my sense of self love and self image instead of focusing on all of my "social failures". Because there isn't anything inherently wrong with me and I'm worthy of connection but to fully deprogram my limiting beliefs, I need to focus on my social wins and times when I did feel worthy of connection to rebuild that part of myself so that I can let go of my limiting beliefs. Because if I keep focusing on how awkward I am, I'm going to create more awkward moments. However, if I focus on the times I was socially competent, I'm going to create more moments that socially flow smoothly. It's just how the law of attraction and just self fulfilling prophecies work.  But I also want to take it a step further by finding myself worthy of connection even when I am awkward. I think that viewing awkward people as people who are not worthy of connection is a huge limiting belief. I know plenty of people who can be awkward a lot of the times but they still have friends and a social life. I also know plenty of awkward people who are also in relationships.  The last one is something that I want to emphasize more because I think it would be easier to focus on it to prove a point. I think in dating, especially for men, you're always told to be super confident and that being awkward or shy is the worst thing that you can do in terms of attraction. While I do think there is some truth in that, I don't think that's a blanket statement that is applicable in all cases. I know awkward and introverted guys who have girlfriends. I think it has to do with finding confidence in your awkwardness.  I have a story that shows a guy who was confident with his awkwardness. So in my first year of college, I was going through this *flirt with everything that moves to get this part of my life handled* phase. There is this one guy that works in my college dining hall. I just decided to flirt with him because why tf not and also since I wasn't attracted to him romantically, I didn't feel like I was under any pressure. I think I just complimented him on something really small and he got really red and shy and he just started stuttering. But here's the thing, that sense of shyness didn't come from a place of shame or self hatred. I think that's why it didn't come off as awkward and creepy. While I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and I considered myself asexual, I thought that he was absolutely adorable and endearing because of the way he acted. I'd say that it was a million times more attractive than any type of alpha male trying to have a mask of confidence when he's secretly deeply insecure about himself and his masculinity. (also side note, if a guy uses the term "alpha male" unironically, you're immediately branded as an insecure person in my mind ESPECIALLY if you use alpha to describe yourself. It's the epitome of cringe as Contrapoints describes it where you lack self awareness and you don't measure up to your own standards) As I thought about that situation I was like "if I could see this person's awkward behavior and still think that they are a person worth connecting to, why can't I see myself in the same way?" Personally I find that if I find insecurities in myself in someone that has the same trait but I have no problem accepting the other person as a way to show myself the hypocrisy of self hatred. I remember growing up I was insecure about my height so I looked at a friend who was the same height as me and asked myself if I see her as any less worthy or beautiful because of her height. The answer is obviously no so then I would ask myself "well, then why do you feel that way about yourself? Why would you treat yourself worse than you treat others?" I find that this way of thinking helps me unpack a lot of things and I think applying this to my awkwardness is no different.  EDIT: Additionally, I think being confident in you awkwardness is similar to being confidence in your ignorance. Because someone who is confident in their ignorance isn't going to double down and defend their worldview if there is something they don't know or they are wrong about (doubling down and getting defensive makes you look more dumb anyway). If they are confident, they can admit that they don't know everything and make peace with that because they still accept themselves in the end of the day. The same goes for being confident in your awkwardness. If you are confident in your awkwardness, when confronted with an awkward moment, doubling down and trying to be more confident will come off as an overcompensation which then will make you look even more awkward.  Instead, being confident in your awkwardness means that you can still accept yourself in awkward moments and be at peace.