- Upwards Spyral - 6 Week no Cocaine Challenge or I donate 1000€ to Actualized.org

By mmKay in Self-Actualization Journals,
I'm commiting for real. This is the most Important thing in my life for the next couple of weeks. I'm not waiting for 2020 to take personal development seriously. I'm putting 1000€ down on my desk for 6 weeks to remind me of the commitment, even though I don't have excess money per se. More important than that is my desire for a focused mind and vigorous body and actitude, and the desire to embody the insight of the HUGE importance of getting nutrition handled as a ESSENTIAL REQUISITE for self-development.   And with Cocaine I refer to the socially  acceptable edible version AKA REFINED SUGAR and other junk foods. This is what it deserves to be thought as. Really it's wrong to even call it with the label "food". It's not food. It's stimulating addictive poison that has been accepted to be called " food " by our low consciousness culture.   I've been observing the effects of this motherf* for the last two years and  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.   I have developed my body awareness quite a bit over this time and now I'm able to actually feel the effects of the "food" I'm eating. I recall being completely numb and clueless to this throughtout my life.   I'm TIRED of being tired all the time.  Constant brain fog and constant bodily fatigue. Also it looks like it magnifies resistance for any positive habits x10, and keeps creating negative spyrals of shitty low consciousness behaviour like wanting to zone out with League of legends, binge Youtube, excesively fap, etc. ( and these behaviours feed into shitty diet ).   Not having  enough focus to sit and introspect, contemplate and work on the LP course consistently. It makes me feel anxiety and tension in the body even though I consciously keep releasing it.   It actually fckin' hijacks my emotions and thoughts making me feel negative, depressed and nihilistinc as a withdrawal syndrome. Like WTF? If this isn't a clear sign it's a hardcore drug IDK what is.   It exagerates the magnitude of dropping excesively stimulating food. No, life won't be hell without pizza and cookies.   Yesterday. I woke up inspired to make the commitment and I ALMOST DIDN'T! This whole thing started off as a little thought to which I was like * dismissive tone of voice*  " yee that wud be cool man" as I kept laying under my warm and comfy bedsheets before getting ready for work.   But I decided to take action on the thought, and here we are.   Somehow sharing this on the internet makes it specially meaningful giving me some motivational leverage. Even though I understand all meaning is self constructed and that from the Universe's point of view it's also  cool if I commit to a Strict Twinkie-only diet,  I'll let go of my cynisism for 6 weeks and take on this personal experiment, keeping faith in that It will be worth it.   Defining the Goal.    Pretty much following the guidelines in " How to shop for healthy food" video + my  personal experience.   No Oyster / Soja sauce noodles or rice from work.  No crispy flour-coated fried sh*t, no cheap meat or eggs. No sweetened fruit shakes, or ice cream, even if all of this is free. I noticed how my capacity to focus was worse week by week as I kept eating  these things since I started working in that restaurant two years ago.   No Wheat, bread, cookies, donuts, crossaints, cereal. No soft drinks, no honey or even fruits for the first week as I'm shooting to stabilize my blood sugar levels and I tend to binge on frozen fruit, and having a sweet taste in my mouth kicks off binge habits of overeating.   No freaking Zebra Cake that my dad just brought in through the door as I was writing that my mom baked.   BRB I'll burry that sh*t on the beach right now.         
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