Notes

[CoolDreamThanks]

When you project and judge, is that specific judgement something that is true about me, that exact thing, like I am really that, or is it not true, but I believe it is true about me, I dont like it, I dent it and I judge it? 
 

do I judge and project because I left the peace of God, mainly, or are there many other reasons for judgement and projection?

[CoolDreamThanks]

Salvation seems so simple now -- it is merely the escape from concepts. What error would I make, if I discarded all past learning and kept up this one single concept in my mind, which lead me as a reminder through my days, as to where to go for God, and for happiness and Love.

Happiness is not in the world and it is not in thoughts, it is in the space around and inside, it is in the stillness of my mind, it is here.

When I begin to fantasize about a future, remind myself that happiness is not there, it is here.

When I think, I can always feel and clearly see how that is not the place of happiness. I can always choose Silence and taste immediate results, a profound shift into happiness and divine peace.

What if I trusted that my only mission is to keep this realization in my mind for the rest of my life, what if this concept is a concept that erases all concepts? And will not Spirit arrange for all things for me to be able to walk freely this path? 

Is all experience not merely my own decision? Is form not merely a reflection of what I am choosing - the realm of God or man -- the realm of Silence or thought? 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Imagine asking the wisest being in existence:

-How does one come back to Heaven? I've remember Heaven - it is a formless, thoughtless, silent, abstract realm of love and light with no separation, no self, and no world. How does one return to that realm?

And the wisest being says:

-Salvation can be seen as nothing more than the escape from concepts. Hold this concept as a sword and it will slay all demons and cut all weeds in your path from hell to Heaven. You need not a shield, only this sword. You don't even need to defend yourself against the world, the only sword you need is a sword of Silence, and with it, walk bravely and effortlessly through this maze within your mind. 

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In other words - don't restrict anything in form, don't chase your behavior at all, only do everything from the place beyond concept, where God dwells and from where the Gates of Heaven will be opened once more. 
 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Isn't it true that the deeper you go, the more seemingly extreme thoughts you will have to let go? From the conventional POV, they will seem unforgivable, disturbing, disgusting, but if you don't see them as sin, only as meaningless thoughts to be let go of, all goes well. 

[CoolDreamThanks]

 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Is effortlessness and non-doing a good description of the practice?

Is it useful to descend into the thinking mind to sometimes change beliefs you have about yourself and life? When you consciously realize something, get an insight based on your current experience, it is much more powerful than just reading about it, right? 

If I don't control my body, if it just acts on it's own - I feel a fear - probably fear of losing control.? But in the past, the deeper and more consistently I was able to let go - the better the body felt - it actually felt like it was healing itself, although it's probably just a symbolic, yet also experiential expression of what is happening in my mind - letting go of control and thus experiencing the positive effects of it. Maybe? 

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Non-doing is logicaally the deepest level of practice, because the one that practices is practicing to stop practicing, which is not a doing, but a letting go of doing, a stepping back.

When dissolving into the Divine Self, there is a feeling of loss - because you are losing this self, to which you are so attached to, and that is why the Course teaches you the instricacies of this small self to help you detach from it, because now you are valuing a small self more than the big Self, and thus suffering the consequences of it, primarily the loss of the feeling of LOVE. The peace stage is just an intermediate stage between ego and God. 

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Do babies even have an ego? Maybe they do have some sort of a collective, unconscious thought system running them, because it's not really a baby, it's an illusory mind dreaming an illusory dream, and it is all happening within the "belly" of the True Self - on top of him, kinda - within him, the illusion is superimposed on God, but God is not dreaming, God is awareness itself. I GUESS?

Is enlightenment a formless realm of love and light , or is the highest and ultimate stage nothingness?

Infinite Nothingness feels amazing. Perhaps there's a push from the back that the Course gives you by showing you your ego, and there's a pull from the front by all of the enlightenment experiences you've had. 

 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Always be suspicious of big changes — ego involved there 99% of the time.

[CoolDreamThanks]

So do thoughts come with a certain emotion if you give them your attention, or is it only when you believe a thought and give it attention does it grow more real and powerful, even giving it the power to create experience - both internal and external, as these two are so close - the outside world is really within, it is your own dream, your own fantasy and there is no one else in it. The reality of the physical illusion is exactly equal to the reality of objects in your fantasies. They operate under the same metaphysical and psychological laws, and psychology and metaphysics have to be brought together to truly liberate. 

When I feel sick - how do I heal that feeling? Where does it come from? Is it ever a mistake in the physical world, or is what happens in a dream always merely a symbolic reflection of the mistakes that are happening in your mind right now, and if you change your mind, you can heal yourself immediately.?

Is it enough to say, and mean it: "this isn't true" 

to a thought that feels bad?

Is this what it means to bring forgiveness and guilt thought together?

Is Stillness, used as an instrument of your will, a tool of denial? Is Stillness the natural condition we return to when we dis-identify from the ego? Jamie said these words, but I think I only now begin to understand them. The issue is that when I was in control of Stillness, I could come back to feeling good any moment of any day, but now, it feels like I need to drop into the bad feeling to heal it, instead of choosing Stillness to - Which I thought completely deletes that feeling from existance, now you need to relax into the feeling and experience it out to return to Stillness, and that is the way to heal instead of deny, let the light heal instead of using the light to heal, instead truly denying the darkness. Uh oh, don't like this at all. But have to do it, now there's no way to not do it when doing anything else seems just wrong. 

Isn't this also the most direct way, because you are jumping immediately into the no-self zone? It's not being no-self permanently, just relaxing into it for a while?

Why do I feel so bad now? Pain in the eyes, a slight headache daily. Hm. 

I do oversleep and don't upkeep a consistent sleep schedule, but it generally varies only about 2 hours. How much of feeling sick and tired a condition of the mind? How much are chemicals, what you eat, etc. affect your health? Are we always just giving power to agents in our dream to seemingly affect us, but we are just using that as a way to deny the power of our mind? Is the ego always saying: something or someone else did this to me - food, person, chemical, environment - whatever. |

Am I always doing the guilt in my mind? Am I always responsible for it? And is guilt always the reason for feeling sick/tired/depressed/, etc?

In the end, when completely healed, is there even pain in the body? 

I remember thinking: just show me my whole ego -- c'mon, I can handle it!

Now, I'm grateful for going slow. Not that the ego is real or guilt, but I am still unable to look at everything with forgiving eyes, so things will look guilty and horrible to me. 

Also, the value of the self - what is it fundamentally? And how do you dissolve it? Through letting go, doing nothing inside, or through looking at it, knowing what it is, and consciously, logically saying no to it? Do I have to understand all of the ego's defenses? 

Anyway.. This is getting too serious.. I'll go eat some cereal.. 

 

[CoolDreamThanks]

karma yes or no? Seems like a yes. How to use it? Should I even think about it, or is it not important? 

[CoolDreamThanks]

To heal the mind, do you have to take up an active or a passive stance within? 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Why is it bad to go to the absolute level in the mind? Because it counters a thought with a thought? Why are these thoughts? Are thoughts coming from some unseen, unconscious "place" where there is alot of "darkness" which is to say a feeling of guilt or anxiety, etc.? Is the world and the mind created as denials of that feeling? And now to heal, do you have to let to go of all mechanisms of defence against that bad feeling, and learning to dissolve that feeling? But then wouldn't the reest of the practice actually feel bad? Like hours and hour sand hours of feeling bad? Sure there's a background of peace, but you do feel the bad feeling too. 

Do you let go of the thoughts and plunge into the feeling beneath them, and then stay there? 

I wish I could get enlightened through a magic pill. I tried many times and sadly that didn't work, unfortunately, at least not permanently. 

[CoolDreamThanks]

How much is the action itself painful, and how much of that pain are you creating in your mind?

Like diet, chemicals, not exercising - how much does that affect health and how much is health a reflection of the mind? 

Is there even hope of lasting happiness in romantic relationships? Even those seemingly appearing as a blessing?

I don't have any desire for relationships with anyone expect someone like that, with whom it seems like life is teaching me a lesson with.
 

But of my own, those pure pleasure, transactional relationships - are of almost zero interest, I don't pursue them. It was enough for me to experience these surface-level relationships one time to see there's nothing there, except pain and suffering, with some pleasure in between, not worthy of the cost you have to pay at all. I thought perhaps by becoming wiser, I will be able to partake in these relationship with a lot of pleasure and no pain. Seems less and less possible as time goes on. There's just always something..