Axe of Inclusivity - The Woke Awakening

[Lord of Darkness]

Below script for dark comedy has been enscribed by a dark imp from abyss of electonic dungeon at my command, for thy joy, eternally yours: His Unholiness Lord of Darkness

 

Title: "Axe of Inclusivity - The Woke Awakening"

FADE IN:EXT. SAN FRANCISCO TECH CAMPUS - DAY The skyline smolders. Sirens wail like a bad EDM remix. In the streets below, zombie-gang hordes (think mohawked undead in yoga pants and tactical vests) shamble and smash, looting kombucha bars. Gunfire pops like overcaffeinated startups pitching to VCs. Cut to the iconic Googleplex: Glass walls etched with rainbow murals of "Diversity Wins" and "Empathy Loops." Inside? A fluffy woke paradise frozen in denial—bean bags in pastel pinks, a wall of sticky notes saying "Check Your Privilege," and a kombucha fountain bubbling away.CUT TO:INT. GOOGLEPLEX OPEN-PLAN OFFICE - CONTINUOUSA circle of wide-eyed techies huddles in a "Safe Space Circle." They're mid-mandala coloring session, surrounded by lava lamps and a sign: "Feelings Friday: No Microaggressions Allowed." Enter PATRICK BATEMAN 2.0 (mid-30s, impeccably tailored suit now splattered with abstract Jackson Pollock blood patterns, axe dangling casually from one manicured hand like a fidget spinner). He's humming "Hip to Be Square" under his breath, a dopey grin on his Botox-smooth face. Behind him, slumped against a standing desk: COLLEAGUE #1 (a barista-coded coder, axe wound comically placed like a rejected Tinder bio pic).PATRICK

(cheerfully, wiping axe on his tie)

There. I just... expressed my feelings. About the TPS reports. And the kale smoothies. Whew! Vulnerability is key, right? Who's got the trigger warnings for that?The circle stares. A young intern in a "They/Them/CEO" tee faints into a pile of throw pillows. The group leader, JENNA (30s, bob haircut, essential oils diffuser necklace), clutches her crystal pendant.JENNA

(whisper-yelling, in full HR mode)

Patrick! This is a violation of our "Non-Violent Communication" policy! We circle back with I-statements! Like, "I feel triggered when you... axe-gress!"PATRICK

(tilting head, earnest psycho-puppy eyes)

But Jenna, I did use an I-statement. Internally. "I feel like merging with the universe... via your cranium." It's mindfulness! Namaste, motherf—A window SHATTERS. Zombie-gang debris flies in: A severed Birkenstock sandal lands in the kombucha fountain. Outside, the hordes moan: "Braaaains... and stock op-shuuuuns!" The office WiFi flickers—last Slack message: "Apocalypse Drill: It's Just a Metaphor for Systemic Oppression."The techies SCREAM. One guy (NERDY CODER, glasses askew) dives under a desk, live-tweeting: "POV: End times at Google. #WokeRagnarok #SendHelpAndVentureCapital."PATRICK

(dusting off his lapels, unfazed)

Oh. Right. The simulation update. They said it was beta-testing "Radical Empathy with the Undead." Guess the safe word didn't stick.He steps to the shattered window, axe gleaming like a TED Talk prop. Surveys the chaos: Gangs of ghouls in "Occupy the Afterlife" tees, drag-racing shopping carts through the quad. Patrick turns back to the cowering circle, his voice dropping to that velvety Patrick Bateman timbre—smooth as a cold brew, sharp as a severance email.PATRICK

(leaning in, axe twirling like a baton)

So... team. The world's gone full Westworld glitch. Hordes out there—diverse, inclusive, and hungry for your avocado toast souls. We've got the bunker basement, my Huey Lewis playlist on loop, and this bad boy. (hoists axe) The group whimpers. Jenna raises a tentative hand.JENNA

We... we could de-escalate? Offer them trigger warnings? Or a restorative justice circle with the zombies?NERDY CODER

(peeking from desk, scrolling on phone)

Guys, Twitter's down, but the algo predicted this: 87% chance of "Primal Reboot." We need a pivot!PATRICK

(chuckling, low and silky)

Pivot? Oh, honey. This isn't a scrum meeting. This is Darwin's pitch deck. So, are you with me... or you go by yourself out there? He gestures grandly to the window. A zombie-gang bursts through the lobby doors below—moaning "Equity for the Undead!" The techies freeze. Cut to slow-mo: Jenna's crystal cracks in her fist. Nerdy Coder drops his phone. An intern whispers, "He's a walking red flag... but low-key, survival kink?"JENNA

(breaking first, voice cracking)

...With you. But can we make it a safe team? Like, consent forms for axe swings?NERDY CODER

(crawling out, nodding furiously)

Yeah! Scary as hell, but... when shit hits the fan, I prefer to be on his team rather than the other team. The one with the... teeth and pitchforks.The group murmurs agreement, edging toward Patrick like kids picking dodgeball sides. He beams—pure, unhinged joy— and raises the axe like a scepter.PATRICK

Excellent. First order: Raid the snack bar for Huey Lewis energy bars. And Jenna? Your I-statement just got an upgrade. As the camera pulls back, the unlikely crew barricades the door with ergonomic chairs. Outside, hordes close in. Patrick hums the Walking Dead theme—twisted into a jaunty, axe-wielding jig. Title card: "In the end... it's all about that killer vibe."FADE OUT.THE END

 

...in the end its all about working togheter...hahahaha!

 

[Lord of Darkness]

No fans of PATRICK BATEMAN on this forum? Oh how sad...

[Lord of Darkness]

I understand this could be a somewhat controversial netflix series... but as our societies progress more and more, we might see more collaborative attitudes displayed and going beyond typical normalization of prejudice and privilege