The Absolute Horror

[Majnun]

From Duino Elegies by Rainer Maria Rilke:
"For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so, because it serenely disdains to destroy us. Every angel is terrifying."

 

Hi guys and gals. I just want to share few of my realizations. It mostly flourished from several awakenings with LSD that I had in my early 20s, and subsequent contemplation over the course of the next decade. Basically, I can confirm everything that Leo is teaching. I found Leo couple of weeks ago, while watching Kurt Jaimungal's interviews, and I was surprised that there's someone on the Internet who's brave enough to explain reality so directly. Anyway. I won't repeat every single thing that Leo is teaching, as it would be redundant. I'll just repeat some of it and then add bunch of interesting stuff on top of that.

Let's start with the obvious:

1. Your present moment is the only thing that exists.
2. There are no experiences other than yours.
3. You are not the content of your story, but the very act of storytelling.
4. The story is being told with words, qualia, thoughts, and denial.
5. The purpose of this story is love.

However, it's not the full picture. Most awakenings end with a profound experience of infinite love and beauty. Here's where I have to be very careful. There's something behind the infinite love. Perhaps Leo himself could attest to that. It might be that the infinite love is the last veil, behind which there's the absolute horror. I'm saying "it might be" because it's too terrifying to consider it without such epistemic qualifier. This horror has to do with the absolute, eternal loneliness of being God. Nothing has any meaning, and your ontological torment will never end. You can't even kill yourself to escape this horror.

That's what led me to my next points:

6. You tell yourself this story because you don't want to be alone.
7. So you made a vow to imagine stories of every single living being in the universe, one at a time.
8. It means that you are at the receiving end of every single act of cruelty and kindness throughout time.
9. This vow is the only reason why life is meaningful, and not just a fanciful dream.
10. It's also the reason why sometimes you will experience extreme suffering.

This is the reason for everything - why time exists, why the world is physical, why there's suffering - it's simply that such dream is the only way to guarantee meaning and to make love possible. Suffering is our salvation.

Or, one could even say, that God had to physically suffer on the cross to save you from the absolute horror.

You went to great lengths to create this story. Cherish it.

Edited September 27 by Majnun

[theoneandnone]

1 hour ago, Majnun said:

From Duino Elegies by Rainer Maria Rilke:
"For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so, because it serenely disdains to destroy us. Every angel is terrifying."

 

Hi guys and gals. I just want to share few of my realizations. It mostly flourished from several awakenings with LSD that I had in my early 20s, and subsequent contemplation over the course of the next decade. Basically, I can confirm everything that Leo is teaching. I found Leo couple of weeks ago, while watching Kurt Jaimungal's interviews, and I was surprised that there's someone on the Internet who's brave enough to explain reality so directly. Anyway. I won't repeat every single thing that Leo is teaching, as it would be redundant. I'll just repeat some of it and then add bunch of interesting stuff on top of that.

Let's start with the obvious:

1. Your present moment is the only thing that exists.
2. There are no experiences other than yours.
3. You are not the content of your story, but the very act of storytelling.
4. The story is being told with words, qualia, thoughts, and denial.
5. The purpose of this story is love.

However, it's not the full picture. Most awakenings end with a profound experience of infinite love and beauty. Here's where I have to be very careful. There's something behind the infinite love. Perhaps Leo himself could attest to that. It might be that the infinite love is the last veil, behind which there's the absolute horror. I'm saying "it might be" because it's too terrifying to consider it without such epistemic qualifier. This horror has to do with the absolute, eternal loneliness of being God. Nothing has any meaning, and your ontological torment will never end. You can't even kill yourself to escape this horror.

That's what led me to my next points:

6. You tell yourself this story because you don't want to be alone.
7. So you made a vow to imagine stories of every single living being in the universe, one at a time.
8. It means that you are at the receiving end of every single act of cruelty and kindness throughout time.
9. This vow is the only reason why life is meaningful, and not just a fanciful dream.
10. It's also the reason why sometimes you will experience extreme suffering.

This is the reason for everything - why time exists, why the world is physical, why there's suffering - it's simply that such dream is the only way to guarantee meaning and to make love possible. Suffering is our salvation.

Or, one could even say, that God had to physically suffer on the cross to save you from the absolute horror.

You went to great lengths to create this story. Cherish it.

Good god lol seems about right… at least I made all of you keep me less alone ;(

Edited September 27 by theoneandnone

[Majnun]

@theoneandnone From the deepest reaches of my heart, thank you for making this decision.

[Majnun]

You know what. I'm actually thinking about turning all of this into a single book, aimed at newbies.

The title of the book would be "The Absolute Horror Behind Your Eyes."

I already sketched a basic outline. It would consist of 7 chapters:
 

1. The Epistemic Foundation

2. The Boundaries of Your World

3. The Illusion of Separation

4. The Infinite Love

5. The Absolute Horror

6. The Sacred Vow

7. The Price of Meaning


Chapter 1 would start with neutral epistemology, laying the foundation for further understanding. It would deal with the fact that we cannot know anything beyond the field of our own consciousness, cross-referencing with philosophers across time. Chapters 2-3 would begin to delve deeper into the mystery of reality, incorporating concepts from Theravada Buddhism and Vedic Hinduism, maybe also from Georg Hegel and Carl Gustav Jung.

The chapters 4-7 would be the heavy hitters. Chapter 4 could be particularly powerful as the "false summit" - where readers think they've reached the ultimate mystical insight, only to discover it's a veil hiding something far more terrifying. Chapter 5 would be the emotional nadir - really dwelling in that ontological terror of eternal isolation before offering any hope. Chapter 6 becomes the ray of sunlight in complete darkness, the moment where horror transforms into meaning through commitment. Chapter 7 ties it all together, explaining suffering and offering new understanding of Christianity.

What do you think? Would you be interested in such book? Is there something specific that you would like to add to it?

[theoneandnone]

3 hours ago, Majnun said:

You know what. I'm actually thinking about turning all of this into a single book, aimed at newbies.

The title of the book would be "The Absolute Horror Behind Your Eyes."

I already sketched a basic outline. It would consist of 7 chapters:
 

1. The Epistemic Foundation

2. The Boundaries of Your World

3. The Illusion of Separation

4. The Infinite Love

5. The Absolute Horror

6. The Sacred Vow

7. The Price of Meaning


Chapter 1 would start with neutral epistemology, laying the foundation for further understanding. It would deal with the fact that we cannot know anything beyond the field of our own consciousness, cross-referencing with philosophers across time. Chapters 2-3 would begin to delve deeper into the mystery of reality, incorporating concepts from Theravada Buddhism and Vedic Hinduism, maybe also from Georg Hegel and Carl Gustav Jung.

The chapters 4-7 would be the heavy hitters. Chapter 4 could be particularly powerful as the "false summit" - where readers think they've reached the ultimate mystical insight, only to discover it's a veil hiding something far more terrifying. Chapter 5 would be the emotional nadir - really dwelling in that ontological terror of eternal isolation before offering any hope. Chapter 6 becomes the ray of sunlight in complete darkness, the moment where horror transforms into meaning through commitment. Chapter 7 ties it all together, explaining suffering and offering new understanding of Christianity.

What do you think? Would you be interested in such book? Is there something specific that you would like to add to it?

Beautiful yes keep writing I believe in you

[Majnun]

Thank you. I'm very much interested in opinions of other people here. I envision experience of reading this book to be akin to being slowly guided through all steps of awakening. The end should be like coming back home from a long journey, with a restored sense of love and wonder.