Hi. Im currently in the process of removing some hard addictions in my life. Stuff like porn, tv, social media news etc. A few days ago something came in to my mind that I haven’t considered yet to be an addiction, but now I've got mixed feeling about. Listening to music.
My life literally revolve around listening to music. The first thing that goes in my mind after I wake up is the need to put on my headphones and hear some music. When I'm reading some book, surfing the web or doing some home task like cleaning/ laundry, I literally have to listen to music unless it will be too boring for me to do. A few days ago I tried leave home for work without my headphones. While driving in the bus I started to feel hard cravings and really anxious that I haven't had the ability to put on my headphones and listen to some music.
With music, everything feel so alive and meaningful, and without life seems so boring and mundane. For instance, I read the book "meditations" by Marcus Aurlious right now, and while reading it with music in my ears, tears may come to my eyes when reading a powerful quote that I relate to. When I turn the music off, suddenly the book becomes boring and I loose all the will to even read it. The problem is that it can hinder me from performing tasks in my life that requires no music. For instance its really hard for me to do my daily meditation which is ONLY 10 MIN of the do nothing technique because I feel such a hard need to listen to music while doing it.
Upon reflecting the past few days on my relationship with music, I really don’t know how should I act. On the one hand, its just music, and it does makes my life more exciting and meaningful. on the other hand, I feel like a drug addict that have to have its daily dose of drug, and sometimes cant get enough of it .It might sounds crazy, but that’s the harsh truth.. It really hindering me being more present and mindful.
What is your opinion? Should I avoid all music listening, get rid of my headphones and speakers and treat it like every other addiction? Or I'm being too harsh on myself?
In my mind I really think that the right thing to do Is to stop with it cold turkey, at least for now until I will manage to be in control over it. I really feel that it is the fear of emptiness that gets me to listen to music everyday for hours, as leo said in his video about addictions.
I would love to hear your opinion before taking any action. Thanks
