Samuel Garcia

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo for the reply. And since you are looking into spiritual techniques, I actually had a 'God' experience/ psychedelic-like experience by feeling into suffering + feeling emotions fully. I cried and screamed but I had to be completely alone and be willing to scream really loudly (without anyone hearing me). A lot happened there but I tried to replicate it again a week later but I'm suffering less so I couldn't. I guess it was a high stress experience which can create similar experiences to psychedelics. This ''technique'' seemed to advance me a lot quicker then others but very tough. You also seem to need to have a lot of pain in life which is difficult to create.

@Leo Gura I took 5 - Meo -DMT and it started off well as I instantly became nothing and saw a lot of love. But then it went really bad as I started to see all this suffering in the world. It went over my head pretty much but I do remember towards the end I was experiencing rape and it was hell. I screamed '' I don't want to know the truth! I don't want to know the truth!''. It seems like I was just imagining things. But if I want to get enlightened, will I have to face this hell again? If I am to face the hell I saw again, I would have to love it in order to successful. I don't know if I am willing to love evil.

I came back to my dorms tonight and felt very lonely as usual. This time I felt really deeply into the suffering I feel. I cried and felt emotions fully. I cried for about 30 mins was lying on my bed and began to roll around side to side crying. As the minutes passed I stopped crying and continued to roll around more and more viciously and my arms were waving around viciously hit. I started to roll around faster as I began to grunt but I just let this energy flow through my body and i could have stopped it if i wanted to. I soon fell over my bed on to the ground and continued to roll side to side and my hands were hitting the floor and I some how ended up at the end of my room and my hands were bashing the door of the ensuite bathroom in the room quite hard now which hurt my hands as my body tried to roll in but it couldn't fit through the door. Eventually i stopped and was completely exhausted and just lied there. What happened? I wouldn't say I feel at peace now, and just threw up. I know this feeling of being deeply unloved remains. What was this energy which took over my body which kept on rolling side to side. Can anyone explain or give advice?

@DocHoliday Thank you so much for the encouragement! I will try to let go of anything I attach to which I believe I am dependent on for being alive. I'll try to be patient and guess perhaps suffering will be the way forward. It's hard to see however that suffering is an illusion because it seems so real. But do you think I have to face all the inner suffering and demons to reach Enlightenment? Because there are so many causes of suffering (at least from my current stage on this path) -- It's hard to see I am the cause of suffering.

Good stuff guys, thank you very much! I've read all posts and tried to consider both sides but I want go ahead with it as my heart is definitely telling me to do this.

@DocHoliday Thanks for the advice! I really resonate with what you are saying because I do feel there is something on the other side of my suffering. The question is how long will the suffering last? I really don't want to suffer anymore but maybe it is necessary.

@DocHoliday Yes! The only problem is that I feel that there is nobody out there to give me unconditional love because who will accept my neediness, suffering and loneliness? I am very open about this to people too. I've just never come across many people I connect with despite having good social skills. I just feel thought people and girls are just unattractive to this loneliness and suffering that I feel. So I believe I am alone in this. Yes, it is easy to say accept reality as it is -- and I am trying to do that by letting my emotions arise in my body. But I don't know how to stop suffering here. So I am trying to contemplate it and become conscious of it with the help of mushrooms. I just feel the more I contemplate the suffering and the more I do psychedelics, the more I feel the suffering and I am learning about it -- but will I ever overcome it? I feel maybe feel doing higher doses is the way or doing more powerful psychedelics is the only way out here.

@h inandout I don't feel much freer. In the past few weeks I did a solo 7 day retreat where I felt into this loneliness and got some energy out. Then I did a mushroom trip and I was screaming and crying for 2 hours as the trauma and fear of being alone and unloved came out. But after all this exhaustion and emotion, I still feel no different if I'm truly honest. I just feel like I have run out of options now to overcome suffering. I don't know what to do now -- Maybe 5 meo?

1 post per hour? Seriously? That is a bit extreme. Some of only go on this forum for 30 mins every few days and so and participate what we can then. What if we want to ask for advice instead of give advice when we are not qualified? 1 thread per day is a not a good idea. Nonetheless this forum has much distraction and some people who give out random advice when they shouldn't -- but this should be easy to avoid by taking full responsibility. The idea's Leo has suggested should be at least tested. In favour of this for sure.

@Leo Gura But everyone becomes enlightened, does that mean all suffering ends? Only though, I can't ever imagine being homeless, living on the streets in the cold and not suffering from that.

Recently had a very emotional mushroom trip. Nearer to the beginning of it, I felt this freedom and lost all self-conciousness with just feelings of energy, vibrations and vizuals. It was like a ''sleep state'' but there was some consciousness (or maybe it was this formlessness Tolle mentions). However I felt lots of unconsciousness so I felt like I needed to become conscious of what is going on. Thus I asked the question ''Who is it that is perceived this?'' Then BAM -- I came back! Trying to be conscious reinforced this person who is living this life. This person here exists as something which needs to get somewhere -- in this case he needed to become conscious and attain happiness and understanding in his life. It felt like all this spiritual seeking, learning about Enlightenment, watching all the videos, reading all the books and then trying to implement the ideas and practices all is just reinforcing this ego here. It was like all the spiritual teachers were tricking me. All this time in meditation I have been trying to focus when I have really bad focus and by trying to focus, I am trying to be something I'm not. When taking psychedelics in the future like 5-Meo, should one try to be conscious since this is has an element of vying for control? Or surrender -- but if I surrender I fear not growing from the experience as it feels like I'll just be unconscious and go back to this ''sleep state''! It just feels like this consciousness I call life is really limited so trying to become conscious doesn't really get you anywhere. So should we try to be more conscious since that actually reinforces the ego? Or is this part of the process of ''going full circle?'' Trying to become conscious is trying to get somewhere but you only have here now. So why try to get to somewhere else? Isn't personal development (even post-enllightenment) building up the ego since we are trying to get somewhere?

@Faceless Doing the practices as much as possible. In fact I just did a 7 day solo meditation retreat doign various mediation practices, self inquiry and contemplating into loneliness which has been my main point of suffering. On day 5, I was mediating and then suddenly the loneliness popped out of nowhere and I began crying my eyes out because I realised I was genuinley scared of being alone -- then after crying for 30 mins or so whilst crying I was kept wailing ''I don't know who I am!'' but then I tried to self-inquire then suddenly I stopped crying. I felt like the ego came back when I self-inquired when it would have been better to 'let the energy flow in the moment' which would have been to let my emotions be. I don't really have a plan now. But my intuition is saying to contemplate and examine my suffering more and feeling deeply into it (although it is difficult).

After a recent psychedelic trip with great insights, I thought: Why didn't anyone tell me this before? I am sure there are people out there who know a lot which would be helpful for some people, so why don't they say anything? Is it because the world is perfect as it is. But it could be ''better'' if they did offer the help without manipulating or forcing people to be helped. A friend of mine just said his mom has been struggling with depression for her life. And perhaps there's billions of other people suffering. Why doesn't someone offer help? Some say enlightenment is the way out of suffering but at least make that clear to people if you love them. I feel like I have to go out of my way to try to find the answers but still not getting them. Or perhaps is DEEP suffering necessary for Enlightenment? Can someone be liberated without suffering too much?

@Leo Gura 1) You said that your girlfriend wanted to do 5-Meo-DMT again after she took it despite not being too interested in spirituality. Yet you yourself didn't want to take it again because it is quite scary. Other people take it and say they don't need to take it again because they feel everything is fine how it is. Why haven't you taken it after 1 year when you are doing the practices whilst your girlfriend wanted to take it again? Seems a little odd this. 2) What happens if an enlightened person takes 5-meo? Because, if I am correct, they are already infinite.

''There is no reality only perception'' -- Dr Phil McGraw

I'm going to do an 8 day Solo Retreat during the Christmas holidays in the countryside. It going to be more of a journaling on as I'm 19 but of course I'll do about 8 hours meditation a bit like a Vipassana (still yet to make a schedule). I really want to get to the bottom of why I need love so much from other people and why I feel so lonely -- I feel so unloved in life and my emotions are so dependent on needing other people to fulfill me since I feel I don't well with people. I also want to discover myself a little as I have little idea of what to do in the future as a career. My main question is though shall I bring some mushrooms to do on the last day? I think it might be useful but should I wait and be in a more comfortable environment like in my room. Would getting into that more aware state during by meditating mean I should lower the dosage if I do take shrooms? I don't know how schedule it. I was thinking about only fixing in meditation and do whatever I feel like (walk, journal or contemplate) around those hours. Any other advice from your experience on how I can benefit most? Thanks.

Are synthetic vitamin supplements are waste of money? Trying to clean up diet whilst saving money is difficult. The synthetic vitamins are cheap and I want B vitamins in particular which are hard to find in healthy foods. Are multivitamins and B-complex vitamins a scam?

So is this how one overcomes the addiction to thinking if traditional mediation doesn't work? After doing a 10 day vipassana retreat, my (ADHD) mind was chattering even more than before and could never settle down compared to others people who were able to access deep concentration.

Hey guys, Any advice is appreciated. I am at university in my 2nd and feel really lonely. I have tried facing this loneliness head on and felt like I did well during the summer break and didn't feel lonely much when I spent weeks generally by myself. But now I have moved back to university and I feel so unloved (rather than lonely). I have not many friends and just feel nobody cares about me (which is probably the harsh truth). The things is I can make friends but I don't value just anyone -- only a few select people but they have their own life and own friends. I feel deeply troubled by this and trying to deal with this by feeling my emotions fully but I can't stop crying my eyes out. This is quite emotionally painful because I just can't stop crying. Shall I continue with feelings my emotions? I just want to be happy or content. Thanks.

How could you ask the plant to show compassion? To ask, do you really have to want compassion or do you just say ''give me compassion''? How clear was the experience? I have only tried mushrooms myself and they are very blurry in the mind.

Why do I need a certain brain chemistry to realise the Truth? Why does 5-Meo-DMT get infinity but without it now I have no infinity? Isn't the Truth just the Truth so why can't I see that now? It sounds like ''have your brain like X and then you'll be enlightened'' but isn't enlightenment here now?

If Truth is here now, that means my thoughts and beliefs are true things too (but the content of them maybe wrong). I find it hard to grasp I'm not Enlightened because I have identified with my thoughts and emotions (as Tolle alludes to). Then what identified with the thoughts and emotions if it is all an illusion? How is falsehood possible if the Truth is here? I also find it a bit strange that ''Take this psychedelic and you'll realise Truth''. I need a chemical to find Truth.

This channel is a nice personal development channel. Saw this uploaded!

@Cudin There's a Korean cult which claims over 5000 people reached ''completion'' or awoke last year using ''Maum Meditation''. Definitely dodgy though.

@The White Belt ''Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." Matthew 7:6 I also like ''You can't handle the truth!''