student

@Emerald sounds like you're more of a "turquoise" on this matter. The problem isn't sex, the act itself. It is just a means. You mustn't focus on the body, but on the soul, on the "unknown" of the other. Your should let yourself sink in your emotions and let them guide you. Body is on the secondary plane. If you focus on it you get distracted, you're not seeing your partner, the other. You are focused on the material. The body will die in the end, it is just an appearance. What you crave is the other, the unknown. The touch of the other, but not the physical sensation, but the intention of the other, the inner of the other. It's like meditation. Once you focus on the body, you distance yourself from your partner. But you must focus on his soul. You must discover what that means. Do not get complacent. If you feel something isn't right, if your intuition says "not right", then it is not right. You must change something. the way you're looking at things, the way you're "touching" them etc. If you're doing meditation, "consciousness" work, then nothing will stay the same. You must accept change. Accept a new way of being.

Stage orange. Stage blue is all about fidelity, only because that's what the religious books, tradition says, so it is a word followed blindly. But when it levels up to stage orange, the "traditional" mindset loosens up and you start to satisfy (and also indulge in) your basic needs. (and you remain just at the "basics") You will really start to know and recognize love only at stage green. But, still, that would be just the beginning, you will still have to learn more about what "love" actually is and what "cheating" means. You will have to get to stage yellow, start gathering knowledge, connect the dots, see the essence/core then realize what you wished to be understood.

way beyond spiral dynamics

@zunnyman Yes, the path is not linear. But the final difference consist in this: when you will be put in the situation of surrendering, because you will inevitably be put in that situation, regardless if you learn love or not throughout the path, you will have to surrender completely, all of you, or remain the same, remain in the form. This is the choice that you will have to make in the end. The difference is: you will either have faith in the unknown, the terror, or you will act like a scared cat. This will show to you if you are mature enough to surrender. The path is different for everyone. I don't know what your desires are, what your authenticity is, how you will ultimately be led to that choice. I am just talking about the final "stage" here, about the choice. I am 99% sure that every person would have some terror in them, even with a high level of maturity. And I will say it again, the difference will consist in the capacity of surrendering fully or not. When I personally was put in that situation, I knew I was ready and I could surrender my "life" because I knew too well this "life" and I was already fully accustomed with it. The ego couldn't fool me anymore, the thoughts that came furiously in trying to make me fail surrendering. The desire to reach my "higher self" was too great, and no mere "ego" could stop me from surrendering, no terror. This is the choice I am talking about. Yes, weed and other substances distorts your experience, your consciousness. Yes, there is indisputably a difference between sober and being on drugs. The first is more authentic and the second can make you doubt about your real capacity of meditating, doing spiritual practices. I reccommend you watching this video if you haven't seen it yet https://www.actualized.org/insights/hawaii-april-2018-late-night-insights He talks about the same thing.

Take a pause. A long pause. If the terror is too great and you can not handle it (letting go) then don't perpetuate it. Yeah... but it will come that day when this homeostasis will drag you down again, so you will need to return to meditation again (if you desire to know "truth") That terror you will have to face it again, but the difference will be your level of maturity and if you will be able to let go. You need to get to that level of maturity in order to have faith in that terror, that it will take you to where you really want. Because there are only two choices in that moment: staying the same or becoming the real you.

the short path is always a false path. you can not get enlightened throughout psychedelics. at least not without "natural" discipline first, not without learning the lessons that must be learn by you everyday. unfortunately people look at enlightenment as a trophy and they distance themselves from it. they think they can "get" it. enlightenment is nothing as anything else. you can not know enlightenment. you must have a sincere desire to know truth. you don't have a sincere desire of knowing truth, that's why you can not meditate. you are not interested in meditation, you most probably just want to get rid of some personal problems and that's all. but meditation is not for that. meditation is rediscovery of oneself. it is not a practice. you just stay in silence and find yourself. you just stay in silence because that's what you want to do - and this is "meditation". silence is boring for most people. they want something else, not themselves, that's why they will not wake up from this dream, at least not this lifetime.

You are honest with yourself and that is very good, because only this way you can change yourself. You have the characteristics of a "normal" person, but the advantage that you have is that you can see how you behave and what is wrong with it. Now the "hardest" part is letting go of the "intelligence" that you think you have, of the image of yourself, because all of that is false. Everything about an individual is false. You can only find yourself in silence, that is you. You have nothing and you must accept it. (and in that nothing, paradoxically, lies abundance) This ordinary "intelligence" is just dragging you down, puts you in a circle that is very dangerous, because you may never make out of it. The intelligence of an ordinary person is actually just an appearance, an external image, that one tries desperately to maintain to distance oneself from bad past experiences, traumas, insecurities. Also this "intelligence" is nothing more but just beliefs "stole" from what society says it is. See that you are "flawed", let go, then start enlightening yourself with books, contemplation, meditation, self-honesty, your passion/life purpose. Start discovering, start wanting to change and one day you will find what you actually want... what your true self wants.

The death he was talking about is a death that can only be experienced fully consciously. No, it is not about some "deity" telling you what to do. It is about yourself, consciously choosing between letting go/taking the leap into the darkness, and staying in what has form and characteristics/the ego. It is a choice that you will make someday, if you will desire it. Until then, many people have a long way to go. If you don't understand something then let it for later, when you will be ready, don't start to interpret because you will just fool yourself.

You will "get" that only if you have a sincere desire in knowing the other. Everything must be sincere. It is not about a "must", about "getting" something. It is about letting go and wanting to get closer to each other. How close? You don't know, but you just want something, but not something superficial, but something else. You want the other, the other that you don't know, and you want that, the not knowing what the other is. You want to immerse yourself in the not-knowing, because that's what feels good, not something else. Enlightenment experience? This is superficial, too many words. You are talking about spiritual "sex". That's not really sex, because you are not focusing on the body, but on the other, the unknown other, and then you.

you will get out if you don't deserve it.

Because you will discover who you are and you will stop bullshitting yourself. You don't understand why everything is inherently loving because you don't know yourself. Why people are running from misery? Why people want to be rich? Why they want to "grow" by all means? Why doing what you always like, in every situation, and reject the things that you dislike? Because you sense the misery of the ego. People don't articulate it, but they run from it because deep deep down they all know they dislike falsity and being miserable. It is that something mysteriously intelligent that Leo always talks about. Love is something very very big. Love makes you humble. But you don't know what "humble" is, because you haven't experienced that yet. You only know what the society thinks about it. People are just "puppets". They only think they are individuals, that they have personal thoughts, but they don't. You must discover who you are to be an "individual". All is pointing to one thing: yourself. Everything is for yourself, for you to grow, to become better, to become ultimately you, the real you. That's what "better" is. It is what you are, but without the bullshit. And the bullshit is consolidated by the many layers that were gathered throughout your life. Your life is the road, the path. It has infinite ramifications. But, still, you decide where to go, always. Everything is part of the "plan", even this moment, and what we are doing second by second. Be always have choices, where to go, what to do, where to direct our eyes, our ears. You go by yourself always, and always where you exactly want. Divine love makes you humble, and humble is the divine love. Humble is the divine. But the divine is also God, and it humbles you, but God is also yourself... and I can continue like this infinitely...

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I am always happy when I return to myself. Leo seems to me very rational and "concrete". Going from A to B, and from B to C. Wanting it immediately through psychedelics, which is nothing wrong (to experiment with them), but he thought he can fool the absolute by doing nothing by himself, without the "help" of the psychedelics. I am always happy when I return to the "activity" of what raises my consciousness. I have my obstacles and get sad sometimes, but I always know, intuitively, that that is my personal lesson which inevitable needs to be transcended. We have lessons to learn and that is what matters, because many of them are very harsh and that is what makes yourself another "person". You can not teleport from A to Z. You must make the steps. You can envision yourself being in Z, because you can, and because it is possible to be there, but the road is the one that matters. The map is not the territory, isn't it? The road is hellish and that hell is what transforms you in Z. The road is your life. You can not force anything, and if you force something you will just get frustrated and continue to wonder why isn't anything happening. It is not wrong how you are (rational or not etc.) but it is wrong to get again trapped in the trance of the illusion, of superficiality. The obstacles are superficiality, the thoughts, the "knowledge" that you think you have, which in fact you don't, and realize this only when you will finally let go and see what true knowledge comes from. Everything can be superficial or not, meditation, rationality, imagination etc. It is your choice.

I am a "perfectionist" and working in the domain of arts. My work is "perfect" when I can express myself fully, and that is quite hard, because that requires entire spontaneity and with that comes the fear of letting go. The exact same fear that I meet when I get deeper with my inquiry. I agree, "results" are the mistake, your old self that doesn't want to let your true self arise. The old self is the one that is "normal" and "knows" everything about anything and doesn't want innovation. The true self doesn't require anything. It is just being, and the "results" just come, without any attention being given to it. You can not simply let go and be in the "true reality". That is new age bullshit. Everything requires work, a vision, desire, struggling almost everyday, meeting obstacles and solving them etc. You can not reach intelligence by just staying and smelling flowers. You can do that, but it depends if you have a vision, if you found your "life purpose", if you know yourself. Any individual who knows himself have much activity to do. Because the self is an infinite creator and a very joyful man. The letting go that you talk of will come naturally. People don't know until they experience. It is hard to realize and easy to "know" and to be a follower. Personal development is helpful, but just until a point, because it is superficial, concrete, "commercial". With spirituality you work different. Intuition comes in action and the beloved "I" that you know nothing of. Everything changes in spirituality. You just need desire to know, because that will lead you to knowledge. Because everything is a mistery here, and that is the good thing about it.

The road is your entire life. The question is if you're learning anything from the experiences it gives to you. You will not find intelligence in staying the same. Your life wants to change you by the everyday obstacles you meet. You can meditate, but like I said, it will most likely be a mechanical thing, and it will not be enough. Life is rich in obstacles and opportunities to learn from. Everything points to one thing, and that is the transcendence of self. Thinking everyday of "enlightenment" will just darken your vision about your true self and will make you most likely to look at it like a trophy or anything else, which will be ultimately false. You must know what the meaning of meditation is and why people do it, before you start doing it, because it will increase the quality of it. Mediation is silence and enjoying the silence, the loss of everything. Consciousness can be raised by multiple ways. Desire is the only thing you need and it will get you there. Don't do anything that you don't really understand or enjoy, because you will just lie to yourself and be insincere and just prolong the road. Sorry for responding so late.

Nothing is as painful as getting more and more far from yourself.

"does everything that can happen have to actually occur?" It only depends on you, if you want that. The answer is yes and no. You can experience everything that another wholly different individual experiences, or you can not. It depends on you if you allow it. You may think you are some way, but that is actually untrue. In every moment you can adopt a whole different mentality, and therefore have a whole different reality. It only depends on what you want. The ego can always change. Manipulation works because of this. External opinions stick because of this. Anything futile can stick because of this. "facing the unfaceable" I think this refers to karma. We all have different deep problems, fears. I have fears that just make my whole body tremble and wanting to run, even if I am there, seeing reality, seeing things for what they are. The body is just doing what it wants, it is in the way of my authentic desires. And I can only face that fear right there, in that moment. And this isn't some cruel "law" that we must inevitably obey. It is something that an individual will do when he will recognize the true power of the almighty self. Consciousness is the answer. When we face fear we are unconscious. In that moment we must regain consciousness, we must think of that which makes us feel pure again. You must have something like that. By facing the fears you will learn that nothing is evil, that nothing can obliterate your higher self. Just an illusion can be destroyed, not your true self. You can realize this or not. It is your choice. It depends on how much you love yourself, how much respect you have for yourself, how much you cherish yourself.

Yeah. You don't need to memorize anything and you don't need to do something that you don't want. Just do what you want, and keep your interest in "enlightenment" alive. Also, "stupid" is just another vague term.

The objective of meditation is to find yourself. When you are in the middle of your normal day, in the middle of your own thought's chaos, you just "meditate", you stay silent. You just do what you actually want to do, and that is not having any opinion about yourself, any "traits", any "weaknesses". You just put those "important" ideas and perspectives aside and be something else. Something that is not that. Just "something else" and that is enough. From there... discover for yourself how things really are. The "objective" is building a relationship with yourself. And that feels whole and just how you want it to be.

You don't need to know words like "enlightenment", "spirituality, meditation" etc. to increase your consciousness and ultimately know yourself. What you need to do is just to be yourself. That is very easy, it's the most relaxing thing. As trying to be yourself you will find your road and from then on you will just face the various obstacles that you need to learn from in order to reach your true self. I can give you "practices", but you will just look at them as a mechanical thing to do everyday. Start to know yourself, what you like to do, what you cherish most and as you do this, as you start increasing your relationship with your real self, you will immediately start to be confronted by your fears. And those are the things that needs to be transcended. How do you face your fears? The answer will be given by yourself. You will get nowhere if you don't start trusting and requesting advice from yourself.

Consciousness can not decrease. "Higher consciousness" is felt when you naturally see the external, the world with another eyes. You can not catch consciousness and bring it to you, you can not force it, you can not schedule it to increase at that date at that time, it will just get "higher" by its own. You just need to continue to have activities that will increase it, like : your life purpose, meditation, enjoying silence, trying to know another person etc. The activities depends on the individual and what he enjoys. By doing an activity mechanically you will just feel that something isn't right and you will eventually give up. The increasing of consciousness involves a long road, full of lies, delusions and inauthenticity. But these things can easily be seen for what they are if you just return to your real self at the end of the day.

This seems to be your challenge. By repeatedly thinking of him and letting your body react to the thoughts you will just attract him, let him know in an unconscious way that you are on the same page. You need to take a pause from everything and sit and start asking yourself what is happening, what you actually want, where is this going to. You know all the answers, you just need to ask in silence. Don't let your thoughts lie to you, don't believe in your lies, don't believe any thought. Just go with your intuition. If your intuition is telling yourself "bad", "miserable" then you know that that is not the right path. It seems it is a tricky situation for you. You need mental clarity and I'm sure you will find it.

Your "friend" is a guy that wants to make his poor judgment heard. You were just experiencing peer pressure caused by an unconscious person. What you can do now is learn from this experience and take the decisions. You turned to yourself, you gave him importance, trust, therefore you think you are guilty. You know yourself, who you are, what you do, how you think etc. No one is able to tell you how things are. Because that is immediately a projection. Develop your consciousness to be able to see reality not someone else's imaginary world or yours. See the experience for what it is and take the decisions about your current relationship with your friend, learn from your unconscious behaviour, reaction etc.

No man, you're just projecting.

Yeah, everything comes down to the soul. The ones that you described are just "followers". You can not be a follower and at the same time turned inwards. When you are turned inwards you start to want the "opinion" of someone else, of someone more familiar, more dear to you, yourself. Everything comes down to yourself. Followers start questioning the branches, not the foundation that gives the start to all them. They are always neglecting what is the most important and has all the answers, themselves. They like to prolong and be followers, following the external. The only important questions are the ones that are asked about yourself, who/what you are, where you are, if you are. From there the answers will come. Following something blindly is just ego prolonging its existence. The soul can be experienced through many modalities. It depends on you which they are, on what matches with you best. The development of consciousness makes you capable of making the distinctions between what is invisible and true and what is constructed in time (who you think you are). For me, personally, the way I "know"/feel myself best/get in contact immediately, is through staying in silence (meditation) and what enthuses me greatly (life purpose).