alexlazk

Hi everyone—this is my first post here. If I’m missing any rules, please let me know and I’ll fix it. I’ve been following Leo’s work for a while and keep up a mindfulness practice. A big area I’m trying to grow is interpersonal relationships. I’m not super introverted; I’ve had a couple of meaningful relationships and I’m currently single and doing fine—but I want to keep developing, getting out more, and becoming more successful with girls . Lately I’ve been exploring ideas about what attracts the feminine, along with teachings of Leo and from people like Owen Cook and Jeff Allen. A lot of this centers on “frame”—the notion that the mind creates the reality we perceive and that you can consciously narrate (and reframe) the story of an interaction. Here’s my tension: this sometimes feels at odds with a commitment to truth. On one hand, we all carry limiting beliefs and a “monkey mind” that distort reality; reframing can help expose those distortions. On the other hand, “creating a story” about an interaction can feel like I’m manufacturing something rather than aligning with what’s real. And socialization itself can sometimes feel like it pulls me away from deepening consciousness. I’d love your perspectives on how to reconcile these points: -Can “frame” be practiced in a way that’s deeply honest and non-manipulative? What does that look like in real conversations? -How do you tell the difference between self-authorship and self-deception? -What practices (specific meditations, journaling prompts, in-the-moment check-ins) help you stay grounded in truth while engaging socially? -Any frameworks or books that bridge nondual/consciousness work with dating/relational skills? Thanks for reading and for any guidance. If I missed a posting rule, I’m happy to correct it.

You're absolutely right; that might also be a mechanism of the ego to keep itself stuck where it is.

These last two lines definitely resonate. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I need to keep both worlds separate. And as you say, the right approach is to let go—to burn off all that prior karma before transcending further. I need to have that settled first, to focus, before thinking about, well, higher-level self-actualization.

@aurum Thank you very much for your detailed response. I definitely see impartial contemplation as the only path. What really confuses me is how I’m going to convince myself to have the mindset and confidence needed without gaslighting myself. I’m afraid that too much self-esteem can turn into delusion.