I'm not an experienced meditator. But I've had some interesting experiences, not just from meditation but also contemplating a lot about spiritual stuff, nature of consciousness, non-duality, and learning about spirituality in general (a lot from Leo's channel actually). And there is something that concerns me about meditation and, I guess, is partly a reason why I have had difficulty establishing a consistent meditation habit.
We often hear that meditation can help quiet the mind and make us more present. At first, it seems something that would be desirable, especially for people with mental health issues. But upon thinking more deeply about this, is that really something we want as regular people? What I'm worried abut is that meditation over time may quiet my mind to the point that I'm not really able to think about stuff. What I mean is that my default mode would be more of an observer than someone engaged with life.
When we meditate, we are training our mind to recognize thinking and observe it without judgment. When, you don't actively engage with thoughts, they usually quickly disappear from the consciousness. But I don't know, maybe advanced meditators are able to develop a thought while still being fully aware the whole time of their thinking so that they do not become "lost in thoughts". But I'm not sure if I would want to train my brain to operate like this. To me, it seems it would make thinking more difficult due to increased cognitive load. And what if you train your mind in this manner for 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? Due to neuroplasticity, the brain would change. But what if that change results in a state where you're not as creative; you're not bothered to solve your problems, etc. When I meditated previously, I had reached a state (again, not entirely from meditation) where all I wanted to do was to meditate and just sort of bask in awareness as they say. I guess there is nothing wrong with that, but in an extremely competitive modern environment it's not really helpful unless you want to become a monk or something.
Also, there is a lot of evidence that meditation helps with anxiety and depression. To me, it seems that these benefits come from an effect of meditaion where the mind is conditioned to be less active. You lessen the activity of the whole brain, just like some drugs for anxiety reduce the firing of neurons to calm the brain. At first, it would seem that it's a good thing. But I'm starting to wonder, is it actually a good thing for everyone? I mean, there is a reason why anxiety and depression exist. Your body and mind tell you that something is not right, something needs to change. And yes, I know that sometimes the anxiety and depression might be irrational. They might be detrimental, and for a lot of people they are obsessive, and your mind is often over-exaggerating stuff. But in general, I think these systems exist to benefit humans and serve as a signal to seek change, not to make them suffer.
What really made me wonder about this stuff was when I started studying Buddhism a little bit. One of the goals in Buddhism is to extinguish all suffering by breaking attachment. But that is a scary thought with profound implications. That really fucked with my mind and made me seriously question whether meditation should be pursued by someone who is not on the path to become enlightened as it was traditionally intended.
So, have I got this wrong? What are your thoughts on this? How has your cognitive abilities changed after years of meditation? What about motivation, ambition, passion, and drive to achieve things in life?
Are there any books, videos that address this particular concern?
