Max_

@Leo Gura First of all, thank you, your work has literally changed my life for the better! I’ve been in 3 long-term relationships and some shorter ones, so I do have experience. I’ve noticed that the older I get and the more I level up (physique, finances, stability), the higher quality women I attract. Part of me thinks if I keep going, I’ll eventually meet someone “perfect.” But I also understand your point: you don’t get better at dating by sitting on the sidelines. @Davino I get what you’re saying about family being a motivator. My worry is that if I don’t “make it,” life will be very difficult. My parents were broke, and I don’t want that same foundation for my kids. @BlessedLion I feel similar, I’m not 100% sure about kids, but I also don’t want to end up alone. I think it’s just natural to have a family. I also remember Leo saying that having kids makes it harder to become world-class at something, since your time and energy get split. That’s one of my dilemmas: I want to achieve big things in life, but I wonder if avoiding family for that reason would just leave me missing out. @aurum I think dating is a bit like riding a bicycle, once you’ve done it before, you know how it works and it’s easier to get back into it. But you’re right, maybe I’m too much of a perfectionist. I’d definitely recommend dating around in your early 20s to build that experience.

I’m 29. My last serious relationship ended 4 years ago, and I haven’t had intimacy in over 2 years. For the past three years, I’ve been working almost nonstop to build a stronger financial future. Right now, my life is basically just work and the gym. I’m exhausted, not where I want to be yet, and everything outside of work feels like a waste of time and money. Looking back, my past relationships were fun at times but never felt like real love, more like casual flings or friends with benefits. That just feels fake and not right anymore. I don’t want to waste someone’s precious time or take away their ability to bond deeply with a partner, just for pleasure. Because of this, I’ve completely checked out. I don’t even notice women anymore, it’s like they don’t exist. On top of that, being with someone carries the risk of pregnancy, and I don’t want kids until I can truly provide. Life has gotten expensive, and I want my future children to have the best: healthy food, vacations, and time with both parents, not just surviving. Until I reach that point financially, I feel like dating is irresponsible. At the same time, I still want connection. Long term, I’d like to have 3 kids and give my partner the option not to work if she doesn’t want to, or ideally do something meaningful together. It just feels wrong if she has to raise kids, manage the household, and work for a boss at the same time. I believe I’m in a better position now to attract someone serious, but I’ve completely tuned out the dating world. Timing worries me too. Ideally, I’d like to meet someone in her early to mid-20s so we’d have time to build a strong relationship and have multiple children. Having kids later isn’t ideal, fertility declines, pregnancy risks rise, and recovery is harder. On top of that, if there’s a big age gap later, I’m not sure we’d connect as easily. The problem is, I don’t know when I’ll actually reach my financial goals, and I’m scared that waiting too long will make this even harder. So I’m stuck. I’ve given up on dating for now, but I also wonder if I’m throwing away years, and what if I never reach my goals and end up less attractive anyway? Has anyone else gone through this? Should I keep waiting until I “make it,” or start dating again even though I don’t feel ready?