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Autism is infinite consciousness of self for you. Infinite consciousness exists in every individual, but everyone experiences it differently. Since autistic people excel at pattern recognition, infinity for and autistic person is "recognizing a fundamental pattern of reality". The notion of "everything fell into place" (efip) is the same thing. This is sequenciality. Ordinary language is encoding sequentially here because "everything fell into place" implies that there is a sequence of "everything was not in place, now it is". Therefore, efip is inherently autistic. Same goes for "self-reflection". In this metaphor, the light goes off from you, hits some mirror and comes back. This is also a sequence and therefore autistic. Also since autism is being sensitive to sequenciality, my model predicts that autistic people are more likely to grasp the infinite nature of time. Conformist people can also get a glimpse of infinite consciousness but in ways that are inaccessible to autistic people. The perfect example here is traveling to Mekka. With this insight, what you realized correctly is that when somebody says something like "everybody on this earth is so conformist! I will study metaphysics so I can reach god to then stop doing metaphysics for good", the real reason they say this, is because if you are a closeted autistic person, the world is cruel to you and nobody seems to understand you which makes you want to escape to some fantasy of absolute Truth or something with the hope of finally being free. When you realize why people are cruel to you and learn to accept yourself, suddenly reality doesn't seem so bad. This seems to have led you to your insight. Notice that in both scenarios, metaphysics is something to be escaped. This is wrong. Metaphysics is the key to infinite consciousness for the autistic person. This is because "recognizing a fundamental pattern of reality", "everything fell into place" and "self-reflection" is metaphysics. The purpose of the autistic person is to accumulate a gigantic library of patterns from reality and recognizing them in the lives (or businesses for example) of other people who are blind to these kinds of patterns. This is what contemplation is. This is what {love, consciousness, survival, ugly, beauty, truth, responsibility, knowledge, reality, god, the absolute, and so on} is. It is a unique collection of patterns from the universe.

@PenguinPablo @Leo Gura Have you tried tracking down autistic girls with similar special interests as you? What you need to understand is that the rules of dating change completely when you are non-symbolic. First, you need to stop trying to make symbol-oriented people (normies, conformists) like you. They will always think that something is off about you no matter how hard you try to mask. Learning "game" is only going to cause you to mask more and as a result cause extreme suffering that can't be cured with any spirituality. The only cure is learning to live true to your neurodivergency which I call "glowing up". What you need to start doing is tracking down other non-symbolic (non-conformist) people. This is not trivial since they usually isolate just as much as you, however they do have the same amount of desire for connection, they just prefer a less in quantity but deeper connections in contrast to symbolic people. The reason why symbol oriented people socialize so much is because their relationships are shallow, simple and based in small talk and affirmations. These kinds of interactions cost next to no energy, which is why they seem to have unlimited social batteries. (However, when non-symbolic people try to emulate these kinds of relationships, they expend a ton of energy because their brain is not wired for this symbolic processing.) If you date a symbolic person you will suffer because every one of their relationships is symbolic in nature and therefore shallow. It is impossible for you to become truly intimate with a purely symbolic person if you are non-symbolic. This is the underlying reason for the notion of "I have realized that women can never truly satisfy me". If you are non-symbolic, and you have only ever dated symbolic people (or been in ambiguous relationships with someone who is non-symbolic), you develop a heartbreaking outlook on intimacy. Non-symbolic people are capable to have way deeper relationships but the price they have to pay is that because their relationships are so intense, if they had as many relationships as symbolic people, they would be overwhelmed. This does not mean that symbolic people aren't capable of intimacy, it just means, they have a symbolic, interpretative, implicit view of intimacy. It is almost painful how easy it is to connect with and fall in love with someone who is also non-symbolic. It is also painfully easy to make someone who is non-symbolic fall in love with you. If you are both autistic and are both interested in each other's special interests, you already have established intimacy since sharing ideas is intimacy for autistic people. So when you know how to find and identify them, getting a cute non-symbolic girl to be interested in you is extremely easy. There is one more important thing you need to understand though. You need to read the rest of the post very carefully now. The thing is, there might very well be already someone like this in your life that fits all the criteria. However, you might not have considered her yet since "she seems to not give you signals" or something. The important thing to understand is that being non-symbolic means not being able to recognize and give signals. It also means being unsure about the status of the relationship. This uncertainty can turn your life into hell for long periods of time and literally lead you into a mental hospital if you are not careful. I'm speaking of experience (didn't happen to me). For a non-symbolic person, determining the status of a relationship (friend or romantic relationship etc.) is extremely hard. When they are intimate with someone who is non-symbolic, they don't see this threshold of "still friendship", "romantic relationship". What this means is that it is not rarely the case that two autistic people can be in love with each other and nothing happens because they both don't understand what needs to happen in order for the relationship to become serious, because both are unable to understand each other's signals. So when dealing with non-symbolic people, be careful of thoughts like "I hope they understand my signals". Because the answer will almost always be no. The tragic thing is that she might do the same and send you signals that you don't understand. This scenario is just tragic and might lead to both of you ending up in a mental hospital because of mutually obsessive limerance I'm not even joking. When dealing with non-symbolic people, BEING EXPLICIT is your friend. If you are interested, TELL THEM. If you want clarity over the status of the relationship ASK THEM EXPLICITLY. Otherwise, they will never know and even get the chance to fall in love with you since if you only send signals they don't pick up on, they will think "I'm sad that he seems to not be interested in me". One last thing: The reason why non-symbolic people don't have the idea to be explicit in the first place even though it can save you so much trouble in life, you can't even imagine it (literally all it takes to have a happy ever after is to tell someone non-symbolic you know that you are interested who just simply hasn't considered you as a romantic partner yet and is open to it and happy about you are being explicit. Often all it takes is giving them something explicit to get their gears turning.) is because symbolic people are often confused and irritated when given explicit information. Non-symbolic people will rarely judge you for being explicit. Quite the contrary. For them, explicit information is like a raft in an endless ambiguous sea of symbols and implicit information.

Criticizing the government of North Korea and thinking Kim Jong Un is evil is conformity. I think it is funny seeing people here criticize North Korea for how unified it's people are but at the same time preach that unity is love. This notion that all of these people are somehow forced into faking submission and all secretly feel they are oppressed is a fabrication from the west. They love their government because it is actually helping improve the lives of its people. The fact that this kind of unity feels so alien is because we as westerners got so used to the polarization and the hatred of each other's political opinions that we automatically assume there must be some conspiracy behind the unity of the people in different countries. What the western people are failing to realize that all of this polarization is manufactured by the rich who control all western countries. The do everything in their power to make sure the people are not unified so they can extract as much money from the population as possible while paying as little taxes as possible. Exercising and valuing free speech is conformity. The only reason why you think you need to be able to criticize the government is because you intuitively know that in the west, your government was never on your side. The reason why North Korea spends so much on its military and on nukes is because they always knew that the usa is the most evil force in the world. Looking at the Iran situation makes NK's behavior pretty reasonable all of a sudden, doesn't it? Without nukes, there is no sovereignty. There never was. If you don't have nukes you are at the mercy of the usa and you can only hope they don't exploit, bomb and coup you too much. Realizing that North Korea is based and the west is evil is escaping the propaganda matrix of the west.

What you are describing sounds like a depression. I wrote about manic depression in this post: It is still relevant for you, just ignore the part where I talk about mania.

Okay, the problem is when I say a mode of being is a fragment and that is a part of the fragment, the symbolism looses it's elegance since 8 sub-fragments can each exist by themselves. Also having two meanings for the word fragment is redundant. So what I need is a structure with 8+ elements that can not sustain it's form when one element is removed. This structure exists in maths and it's called a "Brunnian link". A Brunnian link is a loop with multiple elements that are loops themselves. Okay already really in your face strangeloop imagery. Also it has the potential to be a fractal if each of the loops is itself a brunnian link and so on. The second thing that is satisfying is the fact that the circular loop is the common symbol for emptiness and the absolute. They way the uncertainty principle is implemented is that if you look at the whole and try to isolate one link, the whole thing unravels and you are only left with 8 identical loops that symbolize emptiness. This is codifying the fact that there has never been something beyond the absolute and that there is no such thing as an absolute distinction. In this new symbolic system, the bunnian link symbolizes both the crystal and the fragment. The finiteness of the number of links in the brunnian link symbolizes the finiteness of the fragment. The circle itself is a symbol for wholeness and infinity. The unraveled link that only consists of a string symbolizes the crystal and it's purity and infinity. Whether this theory is in any way compatible with the string theory, I have to check, but it is notable that 8 + 2 (2 = the other two dimensions in spaciality) is the amount of strings in some versions of strong theory. I love the idea of the "link" since the link is inherently empty and depends on the rest of the system. If you have a system only made of links, that system looks like structure and substance, but in reality it is empty which is the perfect description of reality. For those who are wondering why I'm so concerned with symbolism, it is because my theory teaches that a ton of people care about that and symbols can carry a shit ton of information at once. It makes explaining a lot easier and the theory a lot more 🅱️eautiful.

I'm proposing a new core practice of self-actualization that is complementary to the existing ones: Waking up, growing up, cleanign up, showing up, (opening up, stepping up) I call this "glowing up". It means becoming precisely aware of ones perculiar wiring and integrating this knowledge into the other practices. It includes the notion that saying "I have unique genetics" is not enough for true self acceptance and therefore self-actualization.

Here is what epistemic responsibility really means. It means asking the following questions: Why are there so many emotionally broken people on this forum? Why is it necessary for us to do hundreds of hours of meditating, hundreds of hours of contemplating and hundreds of hours of shadow work, to even just get a glimpse of what peace and healing might look like? If everyone on this earth needs to spend this much energy to even come close to any state of healing, wouldn't this imply that those on this planet who do none of this work would need to be extra fucked tortured souls? If this is the case, what is with all these normies who just go around carelessly in life and seem to have fun and be happy even though they don't have a phd in self-help? Are they secretly all deeply broken and in agonizing pain all the time; but they just all somehow decided to pretend this is not the case? To me this sound like a moon landing conspiracy to be frank. @Leo Gura when you accuse me of being someone with a hammer to whom everything automatically looks like a nail, you are accusing me of epistemic irresponsibility. In reality, my epistemic responsibility is telling me to identify Actualized.org as what it is. A nail. If I would deny this, that would be epistemic irresponsibility. If it looks like a nail, tastes like a nail, feels like a nail and is made from the same material as a nail, it is a nail. Everything else is epistemic irresponsibility. Edit: It is important to note here that I don't see the neurotypical-neurodivergent differentiation as binary. When I say "all nerds are neurodivergent" I'm not saying that every nerd necessarily qualifies for a formal diagnosis. What I am saying is that the attributes that underly neurodivergence are the exact same ones as the attributes that underly the "nerd" archetype.

You know why it is impossible to beat a literal wolf? Because a wolf is 100% furry lol.

I just had a random cool insight when I corrected the word "point" to "spot" in the above reply. The 8+ modes of the fragment seem to all have corresponding concepts in physics. The fact that these are interdependent of each other and at the end one might be codified by the uncertainty principle in physics. It seems to state that at the end, it is impossible to grasp one of the modes with perfect certainty without the other ones disappearing. To me this seems to imply that at the end, the only thing that is certain is the absolute and that everything is one. I def. need to polish this connection, but I think it has the potential of true 🅱️eauty.

Also, I love that Kastrup is into the archetypes. In my theory, the archetypes are also real and a part of the Fragment. The way, I arrived at the fragment in the first place was by deeply observing the different variations of consciousness just like Jung did. I also observed archetypes like "the scientist", "the mystic", "the explorer", "the creator", "the visionary", "the fundamentalist", "the rebel" and so on. The way I arrived at neurodivergency was to hang out with punks with the punk being a manifestation of "the rebel". What I have noticed is, that every single one of them is severely neurodivergent. I came to the conclusion that in order to be unconventional, you have to be neurodivergent. This led me to the conjecture, that neurodivergency points to some underlying structure from which every "hard wired" variation in consciousness stems. Through continuously cycling through observation and abstraction, I arrived where I am now. If you think about it, it makes sense. If there are differently wired minds, this means that consciousness is a random variable with a probability distribution that can be learned through repeated sampling.

I acknowledge my logical error. I think at the end, I'm agreeing with you. I do think that these 8+ distinctions are illusory, but I am saying, that these are the only distictions necessary to lead to existence. I have started to watch the video "The Crystal of Eternity & its finite archetypes" and I absolutely love it so far. It seems Bernardo Kastrup is MY GUY. My impulse now is that I want to get my theory to a spot where there are no conflicts with his model, so it can be a fluid extension of his ideas. I like his point: "Every analytic philosopher [...] starts by conceding the existence of spacetime." and "you can not speak coherently in an internal consistent way without that presupposition". The difference is that I'm saying, that spacetime is not the only thing that is assumed, there are at least 6 more things. Also, I would go a step further and say that since without the 8+ presuppositions, conceiving reality is not possible, it also follows that existence is not possible without them. I love the concept of the crystal, and it fits perfectly into my theory. I also like the allegory of the cylinder. It seems that my Fragment is the set of all dualistic projections that come from the crystal. In my theory, the Fragment has separated from the absolute, but it is at the same time not really separate and not really fragmented (if it is the only Fragment that exists, there is no counterpart, so it is not a Fragment, yet it is a Fragment because there is a counterpart, which is the Absolute, but the Absolute does not exist, since it is beyond existence and non-existence. But at the same time there is no existence beyond the Absolute and so on... I think this is really nice strange-loop imagery). The crystal seems to mean the infinite counterpart of the finite Fragment in the absolute. With the rest of the Absolute being all the ideas that can not be thought under the physical constraints of this universe. I think this is really beautiful and it works really well on the symbolic level, with both the fragment and the crystal pointing to some mineral, symbolizing their unity and how matter arises from them, but with the crystal being the more "ideal" (purity of the crystal, transparency), infinite (infinite reflections inside) version, while the Fragment implies it is incomplete, finite and not whole.

Well, first of all, I found out that I have some of all of the neurodivergencies over the sun. This was a long process and at the beginning I was also aware of the concept but did not identify with it. I didn't even know it was possible not to know. This knowledge has an incredible impact on my life and I never had the realization that I have "overdiagnosed" myself. I have only ever had the experience of realizing that I have underdiagnosed myself. I'm still learning about the exact peculiarities of my brain. So yes, I would also have lost my mind. Attacking my argument is valid though. I am admitting that it is not a proof of anything. However, my goal is not to prove anything, but rather maybe provide some new perspective on the interpretation of experiences you might relate to in some way.

No but the point about it being unbarable for him. The fact that this had a huge impact on his nervous system to the point that he slept in his car. I'm not saying that being annoyed by sound automatically makes you a highly sensitive person but I'm saying there is a reason why there exist people who are fine living directly next to train tracks for example or below a family with active children.

Neurodivergency is not a disorder. It is about abiliy vs tradoff. The fact that psychologists tend to focus on the tradeoffs is because there is a bias on negative psychology in society.

Does anything of what I wrote about sound in some way familiar?

How would you differentiate "a mind that is unique" from "a mind that is neurodivergent"?

Flirting with someone who is symbol oriented is extremely hard if you are not also sensitive to the symbol. This is because for someone who is symbol oriented, every interaction is symbolic and has no value to you if you don't care about conformity. They don't care at all about what you say. They are not really listening at all. They only care about what it means symbolically. This is why small talk exists. The only information that small talk contains is "I'm here, you have my attention, therefore you deserve to exist.". If they say something wrong, and you point out their logical error, they interpret this as a symbol meaning "I don't like you". For them, an interaction where you talk about interesting or important information that you want to talk about, confuses the hell out of them. For them, social interaction has nothing to do with exchanging information. If you are dating a symbol oriented person, they will expect you to permanently affirm your relationship with some (for you) meaningless gesture. They love receiving presents that have absolutely no objective value. For me, this pointless affirming behavior is soul drenching. Also not being able to share my theories and thoughts about reality is suffocating. But what is important to understand is that for them, not receiving gestures of affirmation is also soul drenching. This is why in this kind of relationship, there can not be no conflict and frustration ever.

If you are impulsive you have the gift of creativity. People who are not impulsive have zero creative abilities and can only recycle what already exists. The downside is that you can not take orders. Being productive for someone who is not impulsive always takes the same amount of energy, no matter the activity. If you are impulsive, doing the thing you want to do is completely effortless, even if that thing is extremely hard. Being productive without needing willpower is incomprehensible for someone who is not impulsive. The downside is that it is a lot more difficult to do things you don't want to do. Also, it is hard to plan in the future bc it is hard to control what you want

Yes this is totally fair. At the end, I would like neurodiversity awareness to spread. At first, I thought that I needed to convince you of its significance but since then I realize, that I can just take responsibility and do it myself. So don't change if you want. It's okay. I'm realizing that I'm not concrete enough with my argumentation. I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries here but the significance of neurodivergency lies in everyday life. I remember a story you told about upstairs neighbors that were making noise that made you go insane. If you are very unsensitive to symbolic information, this means that you are not good at filtering out sensations, it makes it hard to ignore noise. Your strong reaction is not a sign that you are too soft or some bullshit, it is because you filter less information. Filtering less information is not just a downside. It means "seeing reality as it is". It is a big predictor of truth-seeking and engaging in things like mediation. The way people filter information is through conformity. So having less of an ability to critique culture is a downside of the ability to filter information. One other effect of seeing reality as it is, is low energy. If you always take in all the information, and you go out in the club or something, it is hard to relax, and it drains the energy a lot.

I know that you mostly do what you want and that you rarely follow any advice from other people because I'm the same way. All that I can do is put it on your radar and hope that what I say not make you even less likely to look into it. Try to be open-minded with the subject. Maybe one day you will see its ox tail and make the decision to follow it. 🦦

Yes but it would not be this universe. Without time there is no change and without space the universe is just a point and there is nothing to sense. Maybe I misunderstood your argument. I'm not denying that there is a sensation of space and a sensation of time but saying time and space don't exist in this reality seems absurd to me.

My claim is that there is no such thing as a neurotypical nerd

You need to understand that I'm not trying to gotcha you or one-up you. I'm pointing at something big that can radically change your view of the world and yourself to the better.

Being content with being alone in a room and engaging with one thing repeatedly is not as normal as you think.

Being into yo-yoing is, ironically, also neurodivergent.