YIDIRYIDIR

I don't understand the question, can you explain?

Thank you, i appreciate it. In my opinion, with the forum, it is inescapable to not get that urge to check, that dopamine hit that makes you open and see what's new. the difference is with intention. the more intention you have behind entering the forum the less it falls into the category of instant gratification, the more passive you are with it the more it is just mindless scrolling through posts and replies hoping to find something and to not miss something. The insight is that it is almost inescapable in modern world. Also, how i see this subject is, it's not about delayed gratification VS instant gratification. it's about Instant gratification Vs enjoyment but no gratification at all. the distinction between Pleasure and enjoyment should be made. Pleasure in its raw form is a stimulus-response mechanism. Something happens, a chemical fires, you feel good for a moment, it fades, you want more. It is fundamentally passive, it happens to you. Pleasure is when "wanting" to do something is stronger that "liking" that thing. that's why it leaves you empty every time and end up wanting more and more. (scrolling, binge-watching, fast food...) The cycle happens like this: enormous wanting → brief, diminishing liking → no satiety → immediate return of wanting, stronger than before. The loop that never closes. that's why it leaves you feeling dirty and empty. Pleasure is always a trap. Enjoyment on the other hand though is the feeling that comes from building, creating, walking, sports, reading, research.... the healthy activities that have no pleasure to them, but still deeply enjoyed because they tap into intrinsic motivation, the kind of motivation that makes us enjoy the doing itself. You are not doing the activity to get something, the activity itself is the reward. This is flow state territory. Instant gratification, is characterized by a sharp dopamine spike followed by rapid depletion. But during deep engagement in meaningful activity the brain releases a cocktail of neurochemicals: norepinephrine, which sharpens focus; dopamine (in a healthy way), which drives motivation and pattern recognition; endorphins, which reduce pain and increase pleasure; serotonin, which stabilizes mood; and anandamide, a compound that promotes lateral thinking and reduces anxiety. Pleasure is survival-mode reward, fast, certain, requires no growth, no risk, no investment of self. Enjoyment is post-survival reward, it requires you to be regulated enough, secure enough, present enough, and developed enough to tolerate the discomfort of effort associated with it. Btw, this has been understood as two fundamentally different forms of happiness, Since Aristotle: Hedonia which is pleasure. and eudaimonia, a life well lived.

Great Work.

If you want to get rid of a bad habit, a bad trait, or trying to gain new ones, figure out how not changing is threatening your identity. not how it is slowing you down, not how it is effecting you negatively, not how much it makes you leave on the table, but how is it threatening you identity, how parts of you die without that change.

That's the only healthy outcome in that situation. either that or a dysfunctional codependent chaotic relationship. sorry to hear that.

can you be more specific, please

This guy "Muhammad Yunus" is an example of approaching a social complex problem with systems thinking, and it earned him a Nobel peace prize. He created a system of small loans for poor people without collateral, using group accountability and weekly repayments instead of legal enforcement. He redesigned lending so social pressure and access to future credit made repayment the default behavior, not punishment. He created Grameen Bank, where loans are given without collateral, but inside a tightly designed system: small groups of borrowers, weekly meetings, incremental loans, and shared accountability. Repayment isn’t enforced by legal pressure, but by social structure and continuous access to future credit. He literally architected trust based on the system's behavior. He didn’t solve poverty by giving aid, charity or blaming individuals or reality, instead he redesigned the system that was producing exclusion in the first place. Instead of treating poor people as “high-risk borrowers,” he rebuilt the lending structure around how people actually behave in real social environments. This shifts the system from punishment-based enforcement to trust-based feedback loops. It also aligns incentives: repayment becomes the easiest way to maintain access, and group dynamics reinforce stability. The result wasn’t just financial inclusion, it was a self-sustaining ecosystem where normal human behavior leads to economic progress. and repayment rates reported to be around 95–98%, which is fucking huge. I'm really impressed and inspired.

another lens: 8. Mindfulness and system's thinking Systems thinking requires a specific prerequisite: you have to be regulated enough to observe yourself without immediately becoming what you observe. That gap, between the observer and the thing being observed, is exactly what chronic overstimulation collapses. You become fused with every thought, every craving, every emotion, every self-critical story. There's no space. Just reaction.

This is hilarious ffs, how do you come up with this shit ?

another lens: 7. Emotional intelligence and regulation It explains not just what the system becomes, but why it started and why it persists and why it's a vicious cycle. While on this state of recurrent fight or flight, the sequence runs as follows, almost always unconsciously: an unpleasant emotion arises: boredom, loneliness, anxiety, shame, uncertainty, or even the mild friction of starting something difficult. → The amygdala registers it as threat. → The brain seeks the fastest available relief. → Instant gratification is found. → The emotion is suppressed. → Temporary calm follows. → The emotion returns, louder, because it was never processed and the cycle repeats. Every repetition of this cycle does two things: it confirms to the amygdala that the emotion was dangerous and that escape was the correct response, and it slightly narrows the window of tolerance, (the optimal zone in which the nervous system can feel and process emotions without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down.) Over months and years, the window narrows to the point where even mild discomfort pushes the person outside it. And the only thing that quickly restores equilibrium is the familiar relief of instant gratification. The trap completes itself: the very thing causing the narrowing is the only thing that feels like it relieves it. Nihilism, in this framework, is often unexpressed and unprocessed emotion that has been suppressed so many times it stopped showing up as feeling and started showing up as philosophy. Emotional intelligence is not sensitivity or expressiveness. It is the capacity to feel an emotion without immediately being controlled by it. This capacity lives in the prefrontal cortex, the exact region weakened by chronic overstimulation. The more a person escapes their emotions through fast stimulation, the less capacity they have to regulate those emotions the next time they arise. Low emotional intelligence and chronic instant gratification are not merely correlated, they manufacture each other.

Where is the episode, Leo? where the fuck is the episode? you promised and didn't deliver smh! My communication in this post is violent, accusatory and blame shifting because of you, if you had just posted that episode, I’d know better. it's your fault, take some accountability.

This is a basic insight but a powerful one, and can either be interpreted as good news or bad news; it's up to you: A human is a mechanical system that runs on autopilot almost all the time. and a system that is capable of observing itself and influencing itself. Programming different aspects of yourself becomes one of the most important skills when it comes to behavioral change.

Hey man, I’m gonna answer you honestly, what you wrote doesn’t sound like a curiosity about reincarnation, it sounds like you’re exhausted and feel stuck in a life where you think you’re ‘less than’ others and hate your life, I get it. Those are just beliefs and interpretations, and they're doing way more damage than any actual limitation you might have. There are people with average or even below-average intelligence who build solid, meaningful lives because they focus on what they can control instead of labeling themselves and giving up. I get it, it can feel hopeless sometimes and your feelings are valid, but what's not valid is your interpretation of it and having that attitude/mindset. About ‘going to the next life’, nobody actually knows what happens after death. At least I don't know myself, and I don't think that's the right thing to think about right now. What’s real is this life, right now. And the fact that you’re here asking this means some part of you still wants things to be different, not just over. And that part matters. With enough understanding, better perspective, and time, people can completely change the way they see themselves and their life. This is not just lame motivational talk; it’s something you can actually observe. Your current story about yourself isn’t fixed. It’s something your mind built from past experiences, and it can be updated and changed. you can interpret things differently, see what lessons you learned, see what opportunities you have. But for that to happen, you need at least a bit of openness to the idea that things can improve. Not blind positivity, just enough optimism to stop reinforcing the idea that you’re stuck forever. Also, your self-worth being tied to past failures is a trap. Past outcomes don’t define what you’re capable of becoming and who you are. you can train yourself to not believe that. Here’s what’s not real: “My IQ completely determines whether my life is worth living.” “Because I’ve failed before, I’ll always fail.” “My current situation is permanent.” “There’s no way for me to feel better or build something meaningful.” “The only way out of this feeling is to leave this life.” "I suck and I'm not worthy" Here’s what is real: You don’t fully know what you’re capable of yet. yourself worth and self-esteem are flexible things and are not tied to past or present situations. Your mind is interpreting your life in a very harsh, fixed way. and that can change. People in similar or worse situations have found ways to build lives they don’t hate. (speaking from experience) You have some level of agency, even if it’s not absolute. Change is possible, but it starts with small shifts in perspective and action. You’re not the only one who has felt like this, even if it feels like it right now. If things feel this heavy, talking to someone in real life, even just one person, can help more than trying to solve everything alone in your head.

I disagree with this idea, yes we have esteem and belonging needs, but those are different things. we can learn to stop craving social validation and make it internal. What do you think?

How do you hold an idea or map of reality firmly enough to act on it, but loosely enough to abandon it when you're wrong? I keep running into this: I'll arrive at some understanding; about people, about how things work, about myself, and I'll feel it clearly enough to say it with confidence. Then sometimes later I look back and realize I was missing something obvious, or i was wrong. The naive fix is to just "stay curious and uncertain." But that's not really a solution, it's an abdication. You can't navigate life in permanent suspension. You need maps, even imperfect ones. You need to commit to a direction or you go nowhere. So the real question isn't whether to hold convictions, but how?, how do you build maps that are solid enough to act on, but not so rigid they stop you from growing? is it just "act based on your best guess"? or something to do with intuition and insight? or is it a paradox?

so it's about a 'state'?

i just want to know does it have this paradoxical letting go ? letting go of the need to have truth .

That would be yellow stage.

the details 😂

yes. the more you meditate, the more conscious you get, the better you get at observing yourself, the better your chances are at self mastery.

yeah exactly.

you can write books on this trying to make it concrete lol. but i would say what i mean by programming oneself is being able to modify automatic behaviours (habits, thoughts, reactions, identity...) through understanding and practical tangible techniques.

spot on

I don't played games so much, by I Played Assassin's Creed Odyssey and it was sick, the story, the map, the landscape and cities, the missions.... were perfect

this is an opportunity to be vulnerable, who knows who you might help with you sharing. here are few of my recent mistakes: Used to focus a lot on theory and understanding and i try to translate that myself to practical stuff i can excute on which i fail on mostly obviously and kept me stuck. instead, i should've treated theory and understanding as context for practical stuff, and I should've also searched for practical techniques that are proven already not try to come up with mine on the go. I Was unaware that sometimes i communicate violently which effected some things negatively. I went too deep on understanding and truth seeking to a point where it put me in disillusionment, whereas i should've put most of my attention on practical life and survival, I'm young and don't have enough infrastructure for radical stuff. Not re-evaluating my assumptions enough, too many assumptions held me down.