Nito

I feel like I need to understand a girl to get her to meet up? No? Feels too confusing otherwise lol. I must be missing some fundamental understanding

Might be a dumb question. But do you suggest I text about anything else with her be for asking her to meet up? is it not a bit random to disappear for a few days and then just ask her to meet up again? and are you saying to just keep continuing this pattern until she agrees to meet. Also FYI, you might completely change your advice when I tell you that I can’t see her in person anymore since she doesn’t work at my workplace anymore. Meaning the only time I can see her in person is if she agrees to a date

What does that mean?

Apologises if this is annoying. But do you think you could answer the question I asked here. I think you missed it by accident

@integral I know you’re right. I found out 2 years ago that i have an anxious attachment style and I don’t want to blame that for all of this but it defo affects me a lot and makes me very needy.

Hey this was your answer to my question where I said ” You said this “LMAO i feel the pain, but if you cant see her again then you have to hope she messages you later in the future randomly.” do you think I should message her first at all or do I need to now wait for her to message me? “ i won’t lie I didn’t feel my question got answered. i appreciate the advice though. i just wanted to know if you think I should message her first again even after she’s not messaging me or whether I MUST wait for her to message me first for any chance of me and her working out. You said above that I can’t build rapport on text only right? So I got a bit confused why you was telling me in your message to Try and talk to her again. just checking what you actually meant here

@integral I think this is what happened with my ex girlfriend. I played so many games with her with just taking like 8 hours to reply to her and it really made her super obsessed with me. im assuming this would be the only way to make this current girl chase me, to completely stop messaging her until she sends me a message? I know you’ve kind of already said this but I’d like it confirmed by you. Do you agree with what I’m saying here? ps. Tysm for the help. You are helping me learn so much I can use for the rest of my life. It’s life changing to me. It’s giving me hope for myself and my life lol.

@integral I don’t really get it since she was really interested the first 2 days. Cleary attracted. Dunno what happened to be honest apart from me trying to ask for the date a bit too much. Maybe that killed it all? You think it’s impossible to build rapport on text? and third question is. If I want to date this girl. The only thing I can do is see if she messages me right? I shouldn’t message her again since it’s pointless? What do you think? I don’t care about making a mistake. I just want to know if there’s a chance of making this work. So please let me know since I defo do like this girl and can’t really just give up like that i know it’s prob immature of me. But if I’ve lost already I might aswell try the final option if there is a chance.

@integral I can see now that she was very interested for the first 2 days before I wasn’t trying as hard on those days to ask her out. I was more just having fun. Now I guess I gotta somehow make it work on text lol. Damn bro can I ask you for some texting advice if you know any. I used to be really good at making it fun but now I have no idea what I’m doing Since I overthink every single thing I text. 2nd thing. You said this “LMAO i feel the pain, but if you cant see her again then you have to hope she messages you later in the future randomly.” do you think I should message her first at all or do I need to now wait for her to message me? before you answer this question I really suggest looking at the image I attached of mine and her most recent messages from yesterday and this morning

@integral btw. If you could read my conversation above with @aurum I would really appreciate it since I asked some really valuable questions there that would help me so much if you could answer them quickly. It would geneuinely change my world youve helped me so much and gain so much clarity right now I swear. It’s like I can see more in the dark ahah (to continue the analogy I used) When you read those messages you’ll see I’m very confused about how long I should stop messaging for. And what to say to her after I message her again or if she contacts me again. I’m very lost on this Edit: DAMN bro you really are so right about this rapport stuff. I am so grateful to you for teaching me this lol. I knew it existed but I didn’t realise how much I wasn’t using it. My big problem is if I can build rapport on text. Which I believe I can since I swear I’ve done it in the past. I’m just unsure whether texting her would make me a texting buddy and lower my frame if you want to call it that. I’ve learned from others that texting should only be used for setting up dates so it would feel really weird for me to message a girl again just to talk, but maybe I can if it’s a good idea

@integral I completely agree with you that I became too serious and demanding early on. You actually hit the nail on the head. I can see how this can be quite suffocating for the girl. but I’ve got a problem which is stopping me now. My problem is that she was only at the job for a week since she is doing work experience. Now she has finished it so I only got to see her for 3 days and now I have no chances lol. Which is why I asked her out as soon as I was able to I’m saying that I can’t see her in person now UNLESS we went on a date so all I’ve got is text. Which sucks not sure what to do about this situation. like I’m so lost lol. I can’t build the rapport you talk about on text can I? we built some good rapport on the first day we met but after that we had little to no chances to speak and now we have zero unless we go on a dates I feel like because I don’t fully understand women yet; It’s like I’m walking in the woods in the dark and I’m banging my head on trees I’m accidentally waking into and I’m not sure where to step to not stand on any sticks. It’s like I’m just stuck not knowing what to do. I’ve seen so much advice from redpill and a mix of purple pill (red and blue together) and now my brain is so lost on what advice to follow with attracting women and getting the first date I’ll appreciate any more help and advice you can give me and appreciate you already. Thank you I can kinda discern that from what you’ve said the only way forward would be to build rapport on text? Build it until she trusts me more and wants to go on a date? You think that’s possible and even worth trying and even likely it would work?

@aurum I just don’t understand why this happened. I guess I can’t know can I? Or do you have any idea? she still hasn’t messaged me all day, it’s messing with me lol The first time I spoke to her she was super interested and now it’s completely different and I haven’t messed up or anything much lol. Why do women go hot and cold? Is it just a sh*# test or something? how do I not get thrown off by something like that? It always gets me. And yeah you said that games are bad. I was thinking that wouldn’t it be the most leader ish thing to do if I just sent her a message like: ”hey I don’t want to play games or waste any of our time. I’d like to go out with you. If you’re not interested that’s fine. I’d rather know straight up then be guessing” I see a lot of advice from men who say to play the game and don’t message her for a week to make her wonder what’s going on. But I hate these stupid games. But I’m also scared of making girls unattracted because it’s not as mysterious at all if you know what I mean since I know the games are damaging but also effective at attracting someone in the short term and then you can switch to being more straight up after yknow? I am practically begging you to give me your best advice to all I’ve asked since I want to have a healthy relationship and want to actually date girls and have fun without the stressful nonsense because this stuff plays with my head. 🤣 I appreciate you so much Id also like to ask you how much radio silence you think I should give maximum before I see if she messages first? you told me to give her some space. How much do you mean? Just half a day of no texting? A full day or do you mean a few days? I think a little bit of silence makes sense since otherwise it seems too desperate, but I want to listen to your advice since I hate games. After the radio silence ends, what do you think I should message her? I’d also like to tell you that I don’t see this girl daily. The only time I’ve speaker to her was at work and she was only doing the job for 1 week for work experience so I have no contact with her in person now, meaning it’s all text which is obviously a disadvantage. So I’m not sure how to go about all this since if I leave it too long she might feel too distant from me and it’ll feel like strangers so we’d have no date for sure lol. Again I appreciate you so much. Thank you, it means a lot to me.

I should also probably mention that this girl is extremely good looking so she obviously has unlimited options for guys meaning I need to be at the top of her list I know many guys who are taller then me and look better than me and none of them have ever dated such good looking girls i was a bit shocked tbh when I saw that she was attracted to me since I’ve never really had a girl this good looking like me. I can see why tho because I made a very good first impression since everyone at work loves me there and she saw that

I've been a stressed out, anxious, overthinker, and very unpassionate person this past year, and so I decided to watch Leo's recent video on happiness to learn how to become happier. In the video he claims that happiness is conditional i.e: you need certain conditions to be happy e.g: you can't be happy if you have bad relationships in your life/you can't be happy just sitting in a room meditating all day... and this makes a lot of sense to me However, I've also been watching Leo's older videos on meditation and mastering your emotions and Leo always used to say that meditation and mastering your emotions will allow you to be happy without needing anything. After finally getting serious with meditiation and mastering my emotions recently I feel so amazing which makes me seriously unsure what is true... whether happiness is conditional or not. It really makes sense to me that happiness would be unconditional since if Leo used to say these kinds of things about meditation and mastering your emotions, means that he was experiencing that "unconditonal happiness", meaning it was real? Apologises if this post doesn't make much sense, it's my first time making a post on any forum for a long long time, appreciate the replies I get!

@Letho Hey apologises for replying late, i cant lie im not intellectual enough yet to understand what most of this means. Can you summarise you what you meant in simple terms if at all possible? all i want to know is where im going wrong with trying to be happier (and im also aware that trying to be happy is kind of a bad way to be happy lol)

I recently watched Leo's technique from his YouTube Video "Shamanic Breathing". I read dozens of comments talking about the crazy experiences people had with the breathing after doing only 30minutes and so I decided I wanted to try it. I did the breathing for 30m straight expecting something to happen and so I layed there breathing as long as I could, unfortunately, to my disappointment, literally nothing happened apart from a few tingles in my body and a horrible ringing in my ears. I'm not blaming the technique at all, I think I know why it failed, and if it's ok with you guys I'd love to ask a few questions about the breathing technique so next time goes better! 1) When doing the breathing, my throat became super dry despite drinking water beforehand. Due to the dryness I had to take 2 second breaks every few minutes to moisten my throat by gulping and to catch my breath. I'm wondering if this stopped the full effects of the breathing from occuring? Since surely within 30m i should've experienced more? 2) Is shamanic breathing safe? I don't have any health issues, so I know nothing serious can happen to me, but what about even the minimal long term health risks? Is there any? 3) Does anyone have any idea why the ringing happened to my ears and if it's bad? Whether it's bad or not does anyone have any idea how to stop it? Appreciate your reply a ton, thank you so much, this means a lot to me 💘

@The Crocodile I see ty for explaining. The way you said it in your previous comment I thought the electricity and light cloud would kill me lol. Also you said in your reply to the other guy that Tinnitus is good? Was you joking or what did you mean by that? Since im now scared of causing myself that Idk what that paragrapjh you said below is, but it seems like it's saying the sounds are good? Not too sure if any of these talk about the rining I was experiencing tho. im not sure

@Davino Thank you ill check it out for sure today @Aaron p Thank you for the warning, if it happens again ill be stopping the breathing forever @OBEler is it really normal for people to experience the ear ringing when their consciousness raises? either way, i dont think that happened for me, i believe it was from the breathing since ive experienced this ringing before when doing a different kind of breathing @The Crocodile i see thanks so much for explaining this. A few quick questions if you don't mind. Where can i find a video that explains how to do this type of breathing, since i'd love to do it 1x a week to get the benefits of healing trauma etc... 1) what is the big cloud of light? is it just like a literal cloud of light that covers your vision? and why should i be careful of it? is it dangerous? 2) what do you mean by electricity as a side effect and why do you need to be careful of it xd? All i can think of is when i used to play on trampolines and got an electric shock lol 3) what should i do if i experience this cloud of light or electricity? im guessing immediately stop breathing? and should i even do the breathwork ever again if i expeirence that lol 4) whats the difference between all the different breathing techniques and methods you explained to me in your comment? Like is there any different benefits or potency between the different kinds of methods? or different pros and cons? im trying to look for the higher ROI/80/20 of this breathwork stuff so ill prob only need one of them haha... unless they go up in levels of potency, in that case i should start with the weaker ones if that even matters ps. is it weird that i replied to you all within the same comment by @ing you all lol?

@LambdaDelta I see, thank you for the reply.Dman the spiders thing sounds awful. And do i really need to start over even if I only stop for 2 seconds to catch my breath? Just 2 seconds is enough to mess it up? bare in mind I have to take 2 seconds every few minutes xd. Man how the f do people do this breathing for over 1h30m without a break is crazy

Hey Karkaore, I know this thread is old, hope people don't mind me starting it again. I just wanted to ask you why it's not good to pursue awakening when life isn't sorted out yet?

@Afonso holy sh*t man. This is amazing. I just did this and expected nothing to happen and suddenly my stomach tensed up like it has never done before, it felt like my stomach was going to crush my organs c(not that bad lol, but still insane)... then i just did what you said and boom it was gone. May I ask you Afonso what you meant when you said that our blocks create problems in our life and that we won't has as many problems if our blocks are gone? I sort of understand how that would work but not really at the same time Appreciate you so much, thank you for being awesome!

Seriously thank you for all you've given me and taught me, its amazing. It won't go to waste! Im still a bit unsure what you mean by the thing above in the quote. So did you mean that responding and reacting are needed to not be stressed? What is responding vs reacting? And how do I do it? And what does free will have to do with any of it? Hope I made this simple to reply to, don't want to confuse you

@Ishanga Thank you for sharing the video!

@Princess Arabia Yeah so you're saying that interpreting things positively is basically king

@Jwayne Yeah I agree with you. is there anything to do to kind of bullet proof yourself from suffering when you are old and ill? I saw a clip from Shinzen Young where he said with illness and chronic pain, you can tolerate it and not be bothered by it if you have very powerful mindfulness. So maybe I should start practicing that more lol, Specifically he was taling about "equanimity"