JKG

Programming Update I can see the end of my long vocabulary trainer project. Well, not the final end, but having a working version of both the client/app and the server/website. The server now has soon all the necessary function and the website looks fine. Its not nearly perfect, but soon usable. At the moment I started to work on synchronizing the data between server and client. I became comfortable with Ruby and Rails. Today I looked after a while into my app Java code, and almost forgot a part of the Java syntax. Thats weird. University stuff I am now almost registered as a university student. Thats cool. I now have a university email address and soon a university card. And an awesome thing about being a student is that you can get free access to great software. I just needed this university email address to get the best programming editors, which usually cost about 600€ for a year. In less than a month the pre maths course at university begins. I am happy about that. Finally something different - and getting out of my comfort zone to meet people at university. And in two months the semester begins. (I have used the word 'university' quite often ) Normal life I feel fine. Not very happy, but also not suffering. Probably in the middle. Kind of emotionally dead? I don't have much social contact. Mostly just with my family, and once in a while with my friend. I have not much variety in my life at the moment. Most of the days I am just programming most of the time, and sometimes eating, working out, or reading a bit. I am more productive again and have mostly recovered from my lazy phase. But some stuff has sticked. New Bad Habits I am still going to bed rather late and therefore also waking up late. I like it to be up in the late evening, but not waking up late. Another bad habit at the moment is watching totally useless YouTube videos. Totally useless. When I told this my friend a few days ago she had to laugh very very hard. I am seriously watching videos about One Direction - this boy band from the UK. And I waste at least one hour each day with that stuff. I thought that I have resolved such low conscious habit, but my ego proved me different. Bad habits try to come back all the time, and my lazy phase opened the door for them... I want those habits to go away again, but I try to focus more on my eating habit. I firstly want to get this eating 'problem' out of the way. But I am falling back so often. It kind of takes ages to meet my goal of a 21 days streak. Spirituality My interest in spirituality has dropped. I could see this well when Leo published three weeks ago the 'Understanding Absolute Infinity' video part one. Normally I would have been excited for a 2 hour long video. It even took me a whole week to finish that video. And I wasn't really attentive while watching it. It was similar with the second part. I don't feel good with only meditating 30 minutes each day. For me this is only enough time to relax for a bit and to remove some tension from the tics. In that time I try to do mindfulness meditation or watching my thoughts, but monkey mind is so strong. When I meditated more in the last few months I definitively felt more happy. But also a bit more suffering came up too. And at the moment I fell, like I already said, rather emotionally dead. With more spirituality my emotional level is like a sine function with a big amplitude. Now without much spirituality the amplitude dropped down a lot, and not much is going on anymore. The aspect of staying in my comfort zone most of the time is probably contributing to this. I can see that if I'd continue like this my life at university would not be so fulfilling. I don't see much beauty in life anymore like I used to two months ago. So what? I want to get more into spirituality again. I want the amplitude of my sine function to rise again, even if it means suffering. At least something is happening then. I want to get into meditating for at least an hour again. But a hindering factor is that I firstly want to get my eating habit into place. And I am soon on holiday, so finding the time and an undisrupted place will be harder. To get this meditation habit sorted out again I will firstly have to each the goal with my lovely eating habit. This should strengthen my commitment to it. But this will be harder on holiday too.

17/07/26 Eating no unnecessary snacks - Streak 3 17/07/27 Eating no unnecessary snacks - Streak 4

17/07/24 Eating no unnecessary snacks - Streak 1 17/07/25 Eating no unnecessary snacks - Streak 2

New Long-term Life Strategy My goal/strategic intent is it to be able to dedicate most of my life to spirituality and the pursuit of enlightenment. I envision something like living in a small minimalistic flat in the near of nature. I work as a freelance programmer at home for about 4 hours a day. Or a passive income would be nice too. Otherwise I have dealt with all of the areas of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I have no big lack in any area. I would like to meet this goal a the end of my twenties. Then I still have a lot of time left for spirituality. I still want to make some spiritual progress in the mean time. In the next months I want to build up my mindfulness and concentration ability. I have seen so often that I have just "wasted" my time meditating - I tried to get deeper but was just so distracted by monkey mind... So I guess 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation will be fine. Each year I would like to deal with one bigger aspect of life with which I struggle. For the rest of this year it will be my fucking eating habit. 2018 maybe finding a new good friend in my near with whom I can speak about everything very honestly. Every year just one major goal. Reaching one goal is better than reaching none of many goals. And the next five years will be also dedicated to the mastery of computer science. I will be doing a lot of deliberate practice and building career capital, so that I can "retire" at the end of my twenties.

This week has been better than last week. I have played less video games, which is good, but still it was quite some time. I also continued listening to the audiobooks. And happily I have now finished this series of books, and I will not begin another fiction audiobook in a while. And the good thing about the game Minecraft is, that it becomes boring after you have played in one world for some time. So now I have no desire to play it anymore. I will delete the game again completely from my computer. I have been programming more again. Now I am building the website. I enjoy it. It is fun to do the design part. I am using a framework which makes it easy to build nice websites despite no experience and talent with design stuff. And I start to like the server framework - Ruby on Rails. In my experience now I can say that the beginning of learning to use a new tool is the worst. But after this initial phase I enjoy using the tool. And example would be android development. A few days ago I just developed a little app that my father needed. In the night I just started developing it because I just wanted to do it. And it didn't take much time. Another point is meditation. In the last two weeks I didn't meditate properly at all. On some occasions I meditated for 30 minutes, but it was very shallow. I lost the momentum. Now I try to gain momentum again with 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation. I have been dabbling around with many books in the near past. Well, I am not motivated to continue reading them. There are even many books that I have not started yet in my bookshelf. There will come a time to read them - but not now. Last week I have bought two new books. One is about the power of geography. I don't know why, but at the moment I want to read this book more than the others. I am not interested in politics in the news at all. I rather like it to understand the bigger picture of politics which I might learn in this book. I guess this is also what I like about history. The second book is about shadow work / inner child work. And at the moment I feel like much of this shadow stuff is affecting me in negative ways.

17/07/18 Eating two meals and nothing in between - Streak 3

Do Less I want to accomplish many things at the same time. Many habits, many goals... But all the time I just see that this strategy does not work. I will only concentrate on one habit. One! And then stick to it. -> Eating only lunch and dinner, and nothing in between. I will only concentrate on one goal. -> Developing 3 programs. And only one side goal (when I don't want to work on my main goal anymore). -> studying Peter Ralston's books. Nothing more. I want to accomplish more stuff in this time. But getting these goals done is better than no accomplishments at all.

Summary of this week I wasted a lot of time. I almost didn't meditate at all. I was almost totally unproductive. I was lazy. My sleeping pattern became very bad. All of my good habits fell apart... What was the trigger? Fiction audiobooks. Last Sunday or Monday my father recommended me a good audiobook (about psychopaths, 7 hours long). On Tuesday I was finished with it. It was addictive. While I was listening I did often useless stuff like solving sudokus or playing little computer games like mahjongg. And after I finished that audiobook I started another one (about different families in the first world war, 37 hours long). That was a mistake. It was also very good and addictive. But I made a worse mistake. I got the idea that I could play Minecraft. I was terribly addictive to this game when I was 11 to 14 years old. This addiction took the me again. So I spend almost all my days for the rest of the week playing minecraft and listening to this audiobook. Additionally I got a little bit sick. I got a sick throat, mucous in my nose... a normal cold. I felt week, which enhanced my desire to do nothing productive at all. It is okay that I had this backlash. It was like homeostasis wanted to go back into my early teenage years. I was very low conscious. It is just important that I don't get stuck in this state again. One week wasted is okay, but not multiple weeks. Tomorrow I want to get back to my normal days, slowly. Minecraft and the audiobook is only allowed in the evening.

17/07/09 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 8 Doing something different - Streak 32 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 42 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 10 Waking up my body outside - Streak 65 The difference: a long walk with a fiction audiobook I ate some additional frozen fruit after lunch because I have a sore throat and it hurts.

17/07/08 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 7 Doing something different - Streak 31 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 41 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 9 Waking up my body outside - Streak 64 The difference: I have planed a crazy trip with my friend. My eating habit is so crazy. I am so addicted to food. I feel awful and embarrassed about how much I eat. I will be honest and write it down here. Lunch: smoothie with two bananas, two apples, and some powders; 4 apricots, 1 peach, berries Snackssssss: Raisins (probably 5 hands), cashew nuts (probably 3 hands), other nuts Dinner: big salad, scrambled eggs Snaaaackss: big oat meal, cake, even more raisins I feel physically bad. Sometimes I just hate eating. And mentally I feel also not that nice. I tried to commit to this, and failed already so often. I just forget it, or when I notice that I have screwed up for the day I start eating even much more. I always say to myself that I will begin tomorrow. Always. Maybe I should go cold turkey and set myself rather harsh limitations and rules. Lunch: two things of the following - smoothie; salad; fruit plate; buckwheat sprouts porridge Afternoon: pure chokeberry juice; nothing else Dinner: two plates; nothing more and nothing afterwards Not eating at all: raisins; cashew nuts; brazil nuts I already see it coming that it will be hard in the late afternoon. There I normally get a desire to snack. And after dinner I am used to snacking. What should I do in such moments? I could distract myself with lemon water or tea. I could contemplate or meditate. And if the desire gets so big I will just go outside for a walk. I could make this a little bit easier by eating lunch a little bit. Normally I start with lunch at about 12:30pm. I could push this to 1:30pm. I commit to this challenge 100%ly. Really! I will do whatever I can to reach a streak of 21!

My App I can happily announce that I am almost done with the first version of my app. I've said "almost" because I still have to write some stuff for the synchronization between the app and the server, and I don't know yet how the data will look like. The performance of the app on older phones is probably also not great because a lot of unnecessary stuff gets calculated too often. And the app is not convertible with older api versions. So I have still to clean up the code quite a bit. But I will figure that out a later. And that won't take so long. So tomorrow I will start to only concentrate on the server part of this project. I will learn more Ruby on Rails, Ruby, HTML, CSS... This will take some time. By the way, I have found something very funny: http://translate.google.com/translate_tts?ie=UTF-8&total=1&idx=0&textlen=32&client=tw-ob&q=its+infinite+its+absolutely+infinite+you+dont+understand&tl=en-us http://translate.google.com/translate_tts?ie=UTF-8&total=1&idx=0&textlen=32&client=tw-ob&q=hey+this+is+leo+from+actualized+dot+org&tl=en-us http://translate.google.com/translate_tts?ie=UTF-8&total=1&idx=0&textlen=32&client=tw-ob&q=text+to+speech+from+google+is+cool&tl=en-us http://translate.google.com/translate_tts?ie=UTF-8&total=1&idx=0&textlen=32&client=tw-ob&q=ich+kann+hier+sogar+etwas+deutsches+eingeben+und+keiner+versteht+es&tl=de I have used this "text to speech" thing from google for my app. So I can easily let the app read the vocabulary.

I would choose the first option. You will move faster towards mastery. In the end I guess this is more important than being independent of your family, as long as you become independent at some point. But its your choice. Look what is more important to you - not being a weight for your family or taking care of yourself. How can anybody here know what is more important to you? Maybe you could make the choice easier by journaling and contemplating about the two options. What would your life be like if you choose X? Which emotions would you feel? What is moving you closer to your goals? What is your intuition telling yourself? . . . . .

17/07/07 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 6 Doing something different - Streak 30 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 40 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 8 Waking up my body outside - Streak 63 The difference: blackout and no internet At lunch I just completely forget to contemplate and just made myself another mango because the mango was already overripe.

17/07/06 Overall Habit Streak: 2 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 2 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 5 Doing something different - Streak 29 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 39 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 7 Waking up my body outside - Streak 62 The difference: appointment at the bank, sending post It makes absolutely no sense to try to change a habit when you are not 100%-ly committed. Without the commitment its 99.9% likely to fail.

Computer Science is called "Informatik" in German, and "Informatik" is composed of the two words "Informationen" (information) and "Automatik" (automatic). Therefore computer science is the science of processing information automatically. Oh, this is just the perfect domain for me. I love it to think about ways to process information to get certain results. For example when I got my running watch a few years ago, while I was running I thought about how the watch is processing the information. Where does it get the information from? Which calculation steps are needed in the code? How accurate is the data? In which intervals get the data updated on the screen? Which screen is using the least power? Which information need to be processed in the background? Programming is like the perfect job for me. It gives me fulfillment on the inside. But on the other hand being in front of the computer for so long is causing me tics. And that is something I really dislike.

17/07/05 Overall Habit Streak: 1 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 1 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 4 Doing something different - Streak 28 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 38 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 6 Waking up my body outside - Streak 61 The difference: meditating in the garden shirtless I almost didn't contemplate when I wanted to eat in the afternoon. I almost just had my ordinary reaction of "oh, I will contemplate tomorrow." No, I have to face this addiction today! I think accomplishing a very good eating habit until the end of the year should be my number one goal. Therefore I should face the eating habits with 100% commitment.

17/07/04 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 3 Doing something different - Streak 27 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 37 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 5 Waking up my body outside - Streak 60 The difference: bank, picking raspberries I haven't really snacked, but I still notice that I don't contemplate and then eat much more than I need to. I will now make a rough plan of what I "should" eat each day, and when I have the urge to eat more, then I will contemplate. lunch: smoothie, little fruits, salad. afternoon: a juice. dinner: two plates. Nothing more.

17/07/03 Overall Habit Streak: 2 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 2 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 2 Doing something different - Streak 26 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 36 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 4 Waking up my body outside - Streak 59 The difference: 1.5h inline skating tour

Review of the first half of 2017 Wow, 6 months are already over. Sometimes much has happened, sometimes almost nothing. Some failures, some successes. 2017 is and will be a year of change. The completion of my school chapter in life, and the beginning of my university (and adulthood?) chapter in life. Now comes a summary of some of my thoughts and stuff that happened: School The last weeks of school were strange. It felt weird to not have to spend so much time there, but now I am used to it. I have prepared a lot for the final exams. It was quite stressful to study for history. But I got really great result - better than I have ever imagined. I even got a price for being the best student in chemistry. And now everything is finally and officially over. I have got my certificate and have no school obligations anymore. I will not see these people probably in a very long time or for forever. Some I will miss. Life Purpose I went through the LPC a bit again and now have a compelling life purpose statement: "I understand systems and develop solution processes to create technology that advances consciousness." I have started working on an vocabulary training app. Its fun and I have a vision of making money with it. It might become a very big project. Books I have read quite a few books: Radical Honesty The Happiness Hypothesis Our Inner Ape Taming your Gremlin Loving What Is The Path of Least Resistance And I have listened to two audiobooks in a very short time: So good they can't ignore you Deep Work The books are great but I have learned that its much more important to use the information and revise it. Otherwise nothing will stick and reading the book was probably a waste of time and money. I should therefore focus more on revising and implementing the information. Freedom I have gained a little bit more freedom Driver License Own car turning 18 finishing school Habits Transformation At the beginning of the year I have started a new journal, entirely dedicated to journaling my process with changing my habits. My biggest bad habit is overeating. I have tried to change this habit. I have had a few successes. I eat more raw stuff now. But I still have big problems with eating less. I have tried to change to many habits at a time and have forget the rule of changing only one habit at a time. I now should focus only on the eating habit. And I also forgot the principle of 100% Commitment, especially in regards to the eating habit. I made too often too many excuses and therefore made it not stick. Failures I've had quite a few things that I wanted to do this year. But all didn't work out. Gap year wwoofing Vipassana Retreat Meeting @Dragallur again and visiting him. Other Stuff I decided on what I want to study in university: computer science major and electrical engineering minor. I meditate less. Gaining independence from my family is the priority now. I gained more openmindedness through learning about conspiracy theories. I have started skyping with some people.

17/07/02 Overall Habit Streak: 1 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 1 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 1 Doing something different - Streak 25 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 35 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 3 Waking up my body outside - Streak 58 The difference: being on an event in the city. Well, the whole day has been very different.

17/07/01 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 0 Doing something different - Streak 24 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 34 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 2 Waking up my body outside - Streak 57 The difference: graduation prom, "dancing," saying goodbye to people (probably for forever or for a very long time), crying and becoming emotional, staying up very late...

I do 5 minutes of affirmation - saying my life purpose statement over and over again in my head - "I understand systems and develop solution processes to create technology that advances consciousness." And then I do 5 minutes of visualization, but nothing special. I think a bit about the future, some goals, and what I could do with my life purpose. But this part often ends up in monkey mind.

17/06/30 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 0 Doing something different - Streak 23 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 33 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 1 Waking up my body outside - Streak 56 The difference: church and high school graduation ceremony

17/06/29 Overall Habit Streak: 0 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 0 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 0 Doing something different - Streak 22 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 32 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 40 (not yet but in a minute) Waking up my body outside - Streak 55 The difference: In school I helped carrying many many chairs. And in the afternoon there was the rehearsal for the high school graduation ceremony tomorrow. It was good to meet some teachers and school friends there.

17/06/28 Overall Habit Streak: 2 Contemplating and embracing the desire to eat (when I want to snack) - Streak 2 Intermittent Fasting - Streak 18 Doing something different - Streak 21 Apple cider vinegar in the morning - Streak 31 Programming my Subconscious Mind (10min) - Streak 39 Waking up my body outside - Streak 54 The difference: I met my friend and chatted with another school friend.