Cheese

After a time of thinking and remembering. I think i am now leaning more toward your idea of what this is. That they are indeed lightships capable of interdimensional travel.

I hope he is right, i have now heard so many pov's and different explanations that my head is now exploding. All i know is that these light-orbs are also observed in a place in northern Europe for the past decade. So i wonder if this is a worldwide phenomenon. I can see in the video that it is flying by, why cannot it be in Europes atmosphere in a few hours and later appear above Australia.

Haven't been there. I think there is a movie/documentary in production about the ranch. Peter Maxwell from Australia usually records these types of orb flashes as well.

Well this was a wonderful post

The reason i do not commit suicide is partially that i held the info in this article being true or fear of it being true: https://blavatskytheosophy.com/what-happens-to-people-who-commit-suicide/ The first years i held myself alive because i did not want my close family to suffer. The deeper i got depressed, that barrier slipped away. Later i held myself alive by not wanting/feared to spend rest my life in the Astral plane (belief). Then that slipped away. Finally i accepted that the suffering i experienced is deserved, i am obliged to experience this suffering and not selfishlly escape it through suicide. I think after that the suicidal thoughts lessened. Giving up alcohol and starting antidep meds also helped.

How deep does self-deception and fantasy go? presenting: The biggest Spiritual ego-lift that (never) happened. "On January 30, 1987, Sri Chinmoy lifted a weight of 7,063¾ pounds using only his right arm. It was an achievement that challenged the limits of human possibility and it shook the world of weightlifting." “If I ask my mind whether I can lift 7,000 pounds, immediately it will say, ‘Impossible!’ ... But when I am in the heart, with the heart and for the heart, there is no such thing as impossibility because of the heart’s oneness.” — Sri Chinmoy https://www.srichinmoy-reflections.com/miracle-lift Quoting a forum post from a photographer about the lift, unfortunately it was in caps lock: WHEN IN ABOUT 1985 HE STARTED LIFTING WEIGHTS, HE DECIDED TO USE PHOTOGRAPHS OF HIMSELF DOING `SUPERHUMAN FEATS' OF STRENGTH, AS YET ANOTHER VECTOR OF HIS DRIVE FOR PUBLICITY, FOR WHICH HE HAD AN INSATIABLE APPETITE. IF HE DID NOT SUCCEED IN LIFTING THESE RECORD AMOUNTS OF WEIGHT, IT WAS NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING, INDEED HE DID LEGITIMATELY SUPPORT FAIRLY IMPRESSIVE AMOUNTS OF WEIGHT FOR A MAN OF HIS AGE; HE WOULD STRUGGLE, FOR EXAMPLE, WITH TWO HANDS TO GET A 100 POUND DUMBELL ABOVE HIS HEAD, AND THEN HOLD IT BRIEFLY ALOFT WITH ONE HAND. SOON I WAS ASKED TO COME TO HIS HOUSE, WHERE HE WOULD INDICATE FOR ME TO DRAW CLOSER TO HIM...`Good Boy' HE WOULD SAY( I AM PARAPHRASING HERE) ,` IS IT NOT POSSIBLE TO MAKE THIS THIS LITTLE PIECE OF THE MACHINE LOWER? YOU CAN SEE IT IS ALREADY LIFTED....BUT FOR THE PRESS?.............SO THAT THEY CAN SEE CLEARLY???'.... WELL, HE STARTED ASKING ME TO DOCTOR THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF HIS LIFTS MORE AND MORE TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH HE HAD LIFTED HIGHER AND MORE IMPRESSIVELY THAN HE ACTUALLY HAD. BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THE WEIGHTS HE WAS TRYING TO LIFT WITH ONE ARM BEGAN TO GET PROGRESSIVELY MORE UNREALISTIC.. AND INCREASING EXPONENTIALLY, I WOULD HAVE TO AIRBRUSH IN.. OR OUT, BITS OF APPERATUS AND ADD SHADOWS WHERE THERE WERE NONE, GIVING THE ILLUSION OF A LIFT EVENTUALLY I WOULD WORK MORE AND MORE CLOSELY WITH THE PHOTOGRAPHERS....UNTIL I BECAME, MYSELF, ONE OF SEVERAL PHOTOGRAPHERS. AS THE WEIGHTS INCREASED I NO LONGER HAD TO AIRBRUSH. AS PHOTOGRAPHERS WE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE IT LOOK AS IF WEIGHTS HAD BEEN LIFTED. WE WOULD SHOOT FROM A LOW VANTAGE POINT SO AS TO MAKE IT LOOK AS THOUGH THE WEIGHTS HAD BEEN SLIGHTLY ROLLED UP THE BEND ON WHICH THE WEIGHT WAS CRADLED. NOW THE STORY OF THE 7,OOO POUND LIFT THAT NEVER WAS...... AND THE TURNING POINT FOR ME.. NO MORE DENIAL. THAT DAY, ( I CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS DAY OR NIGHT?), ABOUT 15 PEOPLE WERE SUMMONED TO HIS HOUSE.. INCLUDING A HANDFUL OF PHOTOGRAPHERS. ON THIS OCCASION I WAS JUST A WITNESS AND NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER. THE APPARATUS, A METAL FRAME WITH TWO U-BENDS CRADLING THE WEIGHT AT SHOULDER HEIGHT STOOD THERE. THE BUILDERS OF THIS WELDED MONSTER WERE SCURRYING AROUND CHECKING THE FLOOR FROM THE BASEMENT WHICH HAD BEEN REINFORCED WITH STANDING METAL BEAMS. BARE IN MIND NOW THAT SRI CHINMOY HAD SAID ON AT LEAST ONE OCCASION, THAT HIS FEATS OF STRENGTH ON EARTH WERE AS NOTHING COMPARED WITH WHAT HE WAS DOING IN THE INNER WORLD.... SO SRI CHINMOY STOOD UP, WALKED AROUND THE WEIGHT, ROLLED HIS EYES IN MEDITATIVE REVERIE....THEN TOOK HIS GRIP ON THE BAR. HE CRIED OUT, HIS FACE TURNED RED.. ALL THE DRAMA OF GENUINE EFFORT, EXCEPT THAT THE WEIGHT DID NOT BUDGE, DID NOT EVEN TREMBLE, IT WAS AS IMMOVEABLE AS EXCALIBER. SHORTLY WE WERE WATCHING THE VIDEO TAPE. SRI CHINMOY WAS THRILLED.....AS HE PLAYED IT AT THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT, HE GLEEFULLY SHOUTED "THERE! DID YOU SEE?!'. CAME A DEAFENING SILENCE, AND THE TAPE WAS REPLAYED. `LOOK! DID YOU SEE?!' THIS TIME RANx AND A FEW OTHER OF THE GIRLS, POSSIBLY A FEW BOYS TOO, ENTHUSIASTICALLY AGREED, YES, THERE HAD BEEN A LIFT. THEN THE VIDEO TAPE WAS PLAYED AGAIN AND A FEW MORE PEOPLE WERE WON OVER. THEN AGAIN AND AGAIN. EVENTUALLY SRI CHINMOY WAS REDUCED TO ACTUALLY EYEBALLING INDIVIDUALS, ALL BUT PLEADING FOR THEM TO COME ACROSS. IT WAS ACTUALLY QUITE SWEET/PATHETIC. TALK ABOUT RETAIL POLITICS!

That is great to read that you got something of your spiritual practice. I could have some unconditional joy right now, but the only thing I am aware from my 10 years half-assed spirituality is an extra 40kg and some debt. I guess I grow in size and not in wisdom. Seems like your internal super-ego voice is reffering Leo as an authority: "The superego is the inner voice that is always putting us down for not living up to certain standards or rewarding our ego when we fulfill its demands . . . In fact, our superego is one of the most powerful agents of the personality: it is the "inner critic" that keeps us restricted to certain limited possibilities for ourselves."

What are the actual issues are you referring to? Not interested in the alien stuff, only got aware of it from this forum.

I did experience my AA meetings that way after a few months of sobrerity. But yeah most addicts are some of the most damaged people, AA might purge a bit of the selfishness to not go back drinking but not more than that. Atleast in my AA group most people, including myself, hang on in the beginning of their sobrerity for a few months and then leave. It gave me a boost in remembering how horrible drinking was, but being a damaged individual amongst other damaged individuals does so much for healing, better to spend time with "ordinary" people and build a new life.

Might be an idea to meet with a teacher who has gone past what you term "awakening/enlighment" in real life. Some might sense where you are at and determine where you are stuck.

Like someone already mentioned, there are lots of different theories about this. But I found a theory to explain them all, the ultra-terresttrial hypothesis. An explanation of this theory can be heard in the video below, i post this just for entertainment.

Change cannot percieve change. Only the changeless can perceive change. Stuck in the ego, we see as if the world is still and not changing. This makes us want take action and change it. Being the changeless witness we see that everything is in constant change, there is great satisfaction in that observation.

My account has been inactive for over a year, I just logged in to comment on the above video. I partially watched this and it got me awestruck. Never have i seen a person achieving delusion to its completion in human form. I do not know if I should feel pity or disgust. The spiritual word sallad has been generously laced with mayas dew. The viewcount and traction towards such talks are concerning but not surprising.

Todays reflection: Feel sick, tired and a bit angry. Have had cravings now for the last days. I feel like this program aint worth it and doesn't help. I haven't done anything of it latelely. Probably will write in the steps and go through with my sponsor. Now i generaly think about relationship security as stated in above video. Probably will buy her book and see if it is worth it. I am right now filled with so much of my own bullshit that i cannot think straight.

Hi, I am a guy in my thirties and a recovering addict. 2 weeks ago I have done rehabilitation of 6 weeks + 1 week in closed ward. I do not identify myself as an addict, i have much in life to enjoy for me to limit myself with such identity. However I am not in denial of my emotional illness, inwhich I have to aware about it daily for the rest of my life. As my illness is lifelong and can be fatal if i take a relapse, I am thus serious in my recovery. I was a polysubstance user to cope with my pain, other emotions and workaholicism. I did also take substances to make me feel "happy" but later on the kicks gradually disappeared and used in order to be normal and avoid abstinence. I will probably use this journal to write as honestly I can during my recovery. Have learned a bit during my rehabilitation and now it is time to put things into practice.

God blessed me to live permanently in my moms basement

A good video. Alot said in the video i already knew, but it changes the perspective quitr good.

Todays reflection: Today at an AA meeting i saw a person that was with me at rehab. I found out he took a relapse and went back again to rehab. That will be the 4th time he went to rehab in half a year. I got angry at him because i got scared. I wish not to be in that situation, rather die then go back to rehab and do this all over again. The thought of me losing control and memories of the rehab came back. I got so distraught so I needed to talk with my mother about it, even though she didn't understand me. A rule of thumb at my rehab. If someone leaves rehab, takes a relapse and wants to get back to rehab again. Then the person has to wait until all the clients he was with at rehab leave, and start another rehab period with a new group. Something about the persons relapse is stirring up emotions amongst others, like in my case. So today i will focus of thankfullness. Importance of positivity in recovery is underestimated on my part. I usually lean on making my posts as complaints. My sponsor and a guy from AA gave me this idea. I am thankfull for having a job i can go to. Thankfull for a house i can live in. Thankfull for a car i can drive. Thankfull for an education i finished. Thankfull for places and people i can go to. Thankfull for my pet birds that are with me. Thankfull for having food and water.

Todays reflection: Today i went through a few questions with my sponsor about the first step in the 12 step program. After the meeting when I came home, I had an enourmous craving specifically in my stomach area. I grabbed something to eat, but the craving did not diminsh. I thought I was hungry or thirsty, neither did a thought appear on using alchohol/drugs. It was just pure, strong feeling of craving, not a craving for something, just the feeling. During my meditations, I noticed I had what I could discribe as a concentrated darkness of energy/unconsciousness in the area of my liver. Whatever I did, diet, meditations or other healing methods, that darkness did not dissappear. It bothered me behind the scenes for many years. Apperantly when I talked about cravings and addictive behavior with my sponsor, that dark area expanded all over my stomach, before it felt dark, dense and unknown, now it was identifiable, expanded and transformed into a feeling: pure craving. It was not pleasant to be with that emotion, i hoped it would vanish or be over, atleast I know now what that darkness/unconsciousness was about inside. I made it known, felt it and took another step toward healing.

Note to self: I need to stay away from spirituality and relationship for atleast 1-2 years. The reason is I feel that these topics bring up lots of havoc for my emotional well being. I want to focus on personal development and mental health for 1-2 years.

This made me laugh when I saw this the first time. Now I laugh even more when it's related with Enlighment jokes.

Note to self: I have to remember that when I reflect on this day that passed, I want to reflect on my thoughts during the day and especially my feelings. Not about how many bowel movements I had, what I ate or how the weather was. At rehab I remember one guy reflected on his days shortly saying "today was a good day" with occasionally mentioning back pain. He left the rehab after 3 weeks, at home he fell on the floor while showering, drunk. He was at the hospital for a week. Another older fellow always said that yesterday was history tomorrow is mystery and there is only the present. I admired his wisdom. One day he appeared at rehab after a doctors appointment, he said that he walked down the street, he forgot about the past, didn't bother about the future, only though about the present while he entered a liquor store and bought whiskey, he came back drunk to rehab and made a mess. Police escorted him away later. I know that I have more in common with these people than I want to acknowledge, and should not focus on others peoples misstakes. The people reflect alot of my illness. I do have selfishness, anger, jelousy, stubborness, stupidity etc. however blind i may be about these qualities of my persona, i need to be aware of them and reduce them. Then only I can stay sober, a relapse is statistical likelihood. 2 in 25 people recover after rehab or less, my grandiosity thinks I am one of the 2, I am not buying it, that is why I eagerly continue with my recovery. Have to be cautious but still able live my own life.

Todays reflection: When i wrote the plan for my post-rehabilitation at rehab, i mentioned going back to the meditation group, but only for a few months. This meditation group is are made by original desciples of Sri Chimnoy. I came to the group with the intention on only practising meditation, for the social gathering and talk about spiritual topics, in my surprise, i was dissatisfied with all of my intentions in the eend. The meditation they teach is having ones eyes half open and focusing on a picture on Sri Chimnoys face. It felt like the group was brainwashed and unflexible, mostly focusing on Sri Chimnoys teachings. The leader is very driven to recruit more followers on this path and have Sri Chimnoy as their guru. There is many perspectives i probably missed on this, the teachings itself are spiritual in the core, the group seems positive and it is good to talk/hear other people who know about spirituality. But the cons outweigh the pros, i cannot unsee the cult structure inside it, that is why i stay for a few months in the beginning of my sobrerity, not staying permanently and having Sri Chimnoy as my guru. That is what i fear most, having a person i do not like as a guru. I do not want to associate with this group, only asking for help on my path, i will probably find a teacher elsewhere. The problem is saying no to having Sri Chimnoy as my teacher, i have other things to do on my mind, but the leader is very driven, the entusiasm of the person blinds me on revealing my true intentions and feelings. I feel like i need to talk about this with the leader, that would be better for everyone, not isolated in myself with my thoughts. Then I do not know if this is even is the right choice, would declining mean that I would be taking a relapse and my life would be miserable again. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. (ps. I know that there is nothing outside of God including myself)

Today's self reflection: Damn, today i had the worst craving yet. The emotions felt so horrible, they felt dark and rotten, i supressed them long time ago and kept supressing them with drugs/alkohol. Now it is like a large fermented ball inside me which i cannot make sense of. The thought was to use again but my reaction was to do something else like walking, listening to someone and focusing on my work (that i öearned in rehab). Fortunately it passed. Now i know how important the 12 step program is for my recovery. I started writting today, not postponing it anymore. It is difficult, lots of introspection and honesty is needed. I thought i knew much about how my illness works but i was wrong. After a few questions i understood how deep it goes. It is good that i have a sponsor which i can reveal my secrets and leave the skeletons in my closet. I know by experience that this program works and i am fortunate to speak with someone who knows about this sickness. I am going to focus on doing these NA questions for now. I will on thursday present some of them to my sponsor. This 12 step proccess will take a long time but it is worth it, for becoming sober is worth it.

@Schizophonia Had Alchohol most of my life. What took me down really fast is when i start taking opiates (mostly codeine + oxy). Then benzos, fortunately i did not take benzos long enough to experience abstinence before i went to rehab. The opiate withdrawal was real hell, had to ask for help and i was in denial of that problem, only blamed alchohol for everything. I guess i get addicted to anything that is emotionaly numbing, even watching tv-shows many hours in a row.