Infinite Tsukuyomi

With my 5-MEO DMT trip coming up in just over a week, I figured I would go ahead and start posting here about other work I've done late 2023 and 2024. Here I'll write what I can remember about a 24 HR Dark Room Retreat. I went to stay with a friend in Texas in his spare bedroom and let him know I would be locking myself in the room and not coming out for 24 hours. He honored that, and it was difficult leaving his cat alone while he was work. I started consciousness work December 2023. This took place January 2024 The rules were: I couldn't leave the room and I couldn't speak (out loud) Some context: At the start I had already fasted for 12 hours to avoid the need to leave the room for #2, I brought green tea and water into the room ahead of time and a large container for #1. I covered up the windows obviously and the slit under the door to prevent light from coming in. I set an alarm to let me know when it was over. I interspersed: Meditation, Do nothing meditation, Holotropic Breathwork, Concentration and Self Inquiry. Some of the observations I made included: 1.) How bad monkey mind was for me, as I drifted off often into sexual fantasies, arguments that have never happened, old jobs etc. Hunger didn't play a role unless one of my daydreams also involved food. This attempt helped me appreciate the seductive nature of thought, and how easily seduced I was. 2.) Plenty of pretending to be nothing as a mental recording of Leo was saying "don't pretend to be nothing". Plenty of trying to "figure it out", once again as already advised against. Since sleep was allowed, once it had been dark for awhile, I assumed it was late enough to sleep. About 1 hour in to the sleep I felt slightly ill. Then I tossed and turned for the next 2 hours (I'm guessing the timeframes). I sat up with excruciating pain in the left half of my face. Using my tongue I noticed my gums on that side at the bottom were inflamed and swelling a bit. I laid back down, and continued to toss and turn for probably another hour and a half without being able to get back to sleep. Finally I break at the pain and leave the room, and go to the kitchen to see that it nearly 6am on the clock. I had done 17 hours of the 24. It was a wisdom tooth that decided to grow on the retreat. I went to walmart and bought pain meds. It was Sunday, and more dread came over me that there were no dentists open, I searched and searched online and couldn't find anything. Then I noticed an expensive "emergency dentist" office pop up after looking again that would open at 8am. I left them a voicemail and they called at 7:50 ish to get me in. Some personal insights about authenticity and confidence came up that I wrote in my journal. At the time it didn't occur to me but looking back months later, perhaps even the tooth issue was a way for the false self to break the retreat. Nothing ego dissolving so early in my journey. I'm way more advanced now, and will aim to complete 24 hrs and longer stretches in the upcoming year.

THE RIVER IS AFRAID WHEN ENTERING THE OCEAN They say that before entering the sea, the river trembles with fear; He looks back at the entire journey, the peaks and mountains, the long and winding road that crossed between jungles and towns, and sees in front of him an ocean so large that entering it can only mean disappearing forever. But there is no other way. The river cannot return. Nobody can come back. Going back is impossible in existence. There is no other way, the river cannot return. The river needs to accept its nature and enter the ocean. Only by entering the ocean will the fear dissipate. Because only then will the river know that it is not about disappearing into the ocean, but about becoming an ocean. You've probably seen or heard this one before as it is not my own.

Weed definitely has some tremendous benefits outside of the enlightenment work, as other's have said, it is very easy to use. I didn't use weed until I was 27. My first edible was so intense, that when I closed my eyes I saw all sorts of fractals and images. Surprisingly, I recognized all the images. I had not become aware of consciousness work when I 27 yet. Looking back, that very first edible was similar to closing my eyes on a psychedelic. An experience like that never happened again with weed. I think weed has good use if eaten. Here's what I recommend with weed. Take 10mg edibles and cut them into either four or eight pieces. Eat only one of the pieces. I have found that this even tinier dose opens up my mind to regular personal development without getting high. Since being high feels so good, it's better to leave behind the getting high part and extract only what you really want from it, which is insights, creativity and open-mindedness. After starting consciousness work and using the tiny edibles I cut, I found that I spent most of my time contemplating how to embody more love at work with my employees as the director of my workplace at the time. Nothing wrong with using the weed, although compared to the psychedelic class it's not as good. I would agree it is easier to get yourself to sit down and meditate or contemplate or something.

@AION It is often attributed to someone called Khalil Gibran. However I found the metaphor in a random facebook post.