Whitney Edwards

2 am. The best time to work. Then I doze off at 4.

So what have you done about it

Why don't you work on it

@Leo Gura ask JP

@The Redeemer are you being real?

Side note - you seem to be a victim of your own biases. Is there something internally hurting you? You'll get a lot of answers if you switch off the forum and do inner contemplating, the nature of your post indicates too much rumination and closed mindedness and a certain need to control how society functions. You'll make an interesting case study. One look at your entire posting history and the general tone is somewhat like this - Women - bad. Drinking - bad bad bad. Feminists - bad. Partying - bad. Drugs - bad. If you extrapolate this line of thinking, gradually you'll reach a point where you'll begin to hate every aspect of social life. Can you see this? It has added a shit load of negativity to your worldview. You're separating yourself from the world. I'm not saying that you don't have valid points. Yet, you seem to be mired in some sort of a thought loop colored by your own biases that run like a broken record and you don't seem to ever glance outside of it. This is very counter productive, mostly to you. Society gives you plenty of options, if you don't like something, nobody forces you to do it, there's always a bunch of people out there who are like you, if you go look for them. But you seem to be more interested in trying to out-logic society out of things that have always been the norm and plenty of people have absolutely no trouble with these norms even if some of them might be downright toxic. I don't like partying myself, I'm naturally this way, somewhat withdrawn, autistic, and slightly anti-social. Yet I don't feel the need to degrade those who like partying. It's their way of enjoying life, more power to them. Society will not always be how you want it to be. Yet it's best time to live, none of World War two, technology that has been mostly beneficial. Plenty of things that were hard to find in old days. You can travel anywhere, talk to anyone online, go to fancy restaurants, go camping, practically do anything you want, there's a market for everything. What more could you have asked for? These options might have existed 2 centuries ago, at least some of them, but people weren't too vocal about having fun, societies were controlled by religious norms, there was no electricity, cinema was boring, there was hardly anything for entertainment. Parties were mostly for rich people. So you've to be grateful that we get to live in times where you can get drunk and not be judged, you can hang out with friends, and have casual sex. Things that were relatively impossible in another era unless you belonged to a particular strata of society and I mean the uber-rich. You're looking at partying from a very judgemental perspective. You could be having some ingrained biases and shadows that you might want to work on that makes you hate people who party. They're just normal folks, like you and me. I hate parties too, yet I'm cognizant that much of my hating or dislike is my own shadow and inability to mix with those crowds. I'm not social enough, it's kinda debilitating and makes other people look better than me, makes me feel like I am not as good as them. Yet this is my own flaw. And I shouldn't be superimposing my jealousy on folks who are simply having fun and moralize them for something I cannot do/have. It needs a certain maturity to see your own lack and not have the impulse to jump to judging something you can't comfortably fit into. So "it must be wrong because I don't like it." That's the simplest representation of personal bias. Regarding partying, you don't always have to do things the conventional way. I like being a rebel and I'm naturally good at it. I prefer partying in a mountain forest with a campfire, sharing wine, singing and playing guitar/ukulele, with a bunch of close friends, dancing and mellowing around a campfire, dowsing my worries in wine and food and laughter. This can be partying too, the main reason I avoid conventional club style partying is just the loud music (not good for my health, I'm particularly sensitive to sounds), I simply don't like having fun in a loud environment. Some partying can be toxic indeed. But if someone is comfortable with all the overt sensory stimulation and they're okay with all the noise, smoke, puking, drinking, nudity and the heat of the crowds, good for them and I'm nobody to judge. Most folks who party aren't the best type of people, mostly trash, one of the other reasons why I avoid partying. You bring up the point of safety of women. I don't think anybody is safe, especially at low budget parties, celebrity parties are another ballgame, there's tight security there. If you're gonna hang out at local parties (the experience you mentioned), you'll (quite easily) run into very shady folks and get scammed, duped, injured or even murdered, a lot of untoward stuff can happen. You have to watch out for the quality of people you hang out with, nothing to worry if you went in with your own folks and stay with them the entire night. But with strangers you never know, anything can go wrong cuz some people are really trashy low quality people that are best avoided. Club brawls, drug deals gone bad, shady characters, gold diggers, unprotected sex, dangerous sex(STDs), the list of trouble is endless. You could end up in situations you might regret the morning after. So not the best deal. Yet you could look for safer places where you find better crowds, nothing too funky or weird, light fun of dance and music and with proper security. Most clubs don't even check if you're underage. Find something less risky. Usually this is in upscale neighborhoods. Obviously you have to pay more to enjoy at such places. Places in bad notorious neighborhoods that are ridiculously cheap will have very bad people, not trying to judge, just saying facts. Then again you can go to places where older folks hang out in mountain regions, rural spaces. You will have a peaceful time. The hot local parties in places that are overcrowded, massively advertised in inner cities are actually really bad and fulll of shady stuff. So avoid those. The geography is going to matter a lot here. Also one experience cannot be used to generalize everything about partying. If you're particularly talking about the USA, plenty of options and varieties from state to state, you won't have a duplicate experience everywhere. Some of your points are valid and some of it is just old school judgement and over-analyzing.

Plenty of BS with Jordan Peterson as well! Why is one BS better than another? Why am I supposed to consider Jordan as some kind of a new age revolutionary? Doyen? Why is he so popular? A single earth shattering thing he said, kindly remind me anything close to it. That guy is simply everywhere in the media like an Old Daddy, he is ridiculously famous for nothing. So he is revolutionizing Psychology by adding more bullshit to existing bullshit? Meh.

That did not make any sense at all.

But there are certain rules in dsm. This is not academics. This is hard core science with empirical evidence. It cannot be formulated. It is based on facts. Jordan Peterson tries to manipulate information to suit his own beliefs and biases and introduces his own theory into everything without any real evidence to back it up with. I find that unethical and unprofessional.

@Tanz I'm entitled to criticize JPs way of psychoanalyzing because it doesn't adhere to professional standards. You cannot mix philosophy and psychology. This is not quack science to make your own rules.

We're awtistic. Fantastic.

True true. Whatever scant little experience I've ever had, I've generally (in my observation that is), found that women who are mostly on social media like Instagram, Tik Tok use male friends only (or mostly) for attention and likes. All my friends too. And then they dump them. It makes it difficult for men to make sense of it or give any human value to this recurrent experience, it's like "don't take women seriously anymore." it's what my friends regularly tell me. You have to know how men feel about it. Just my two cents. But you could be looking for genuine friendships, ya know.

Does my experience seriously count though? I'm in my 20s, had a recent breakup, didn't have many relationships, no marriage obviously. No "extremely" long LTRs either lol, none. I didn't play the experience card at all, neither can I play it in my position. So I'm not supposed to give advice? Are you being serious with that statement? Fine I'll take it and not give you any further advice. Seems you know more than I do. Can you please explain why experience is relevant? I didn't get that lol. Isn't having too little experience actually a good track record lol? Am I missing something? Please enlightennn me if you can.

@eos_nyxia in response to your last post- (There's a slight problem when you automatically assume that friendship between men and women should exist without baggage). Talk about projecting on my life lol. Well frankly I didn't expect anything better. It seems you become livid if something doesn't go according to your way/opinion. When you open a thread and include personal details, people are going to be having all sorts of opinions. I offered a male perspective which you aren't completely open to and that is that friendship between men and women is not an easy deal especially for the man. If you want changes in your life, first and foremost comes through self reflection. If your rhetoric in your life is to lash out at someone trying to offer a narrative different from yours, then keep expecting the results you have always been getting. Nothing more to say to you. Just telling you the truth about male female friendship. You don't need to take it personally though. It seems you're taking random opinions way too personally. Maybe this is the energy most of your male companions are picking from you, so try to work on that, especially when you say they walk away from you for no apparent reason. This is the last I'll respond to you, you take it good or bad, it's up to you. I was just giving constructive feedback sprinkled with some criticism. Take it well. Lastly there's more to everyone's life if you care to look deep enough.

I'm not taking your bait. Have a good day!

Passive aggression in one whole paragraph. (Yea cuz tik tok and only fans are two of the most toxic things women have done to men and so it should be no surprise it's brought up. Talk about suppressing male perspective). (I'll end it here cuz it's going too far and I meant none of it. Thanks). Chill.

Calling a man a zero and making him feel less of a man is not the best way for a woman to express her opinion. Take responsibility sometimes. It's toxic. I'm gonna chill now. I have no time to go back and forth with you on this. Don't quote me again.

Nobody is taking it personally. That's your assumption. Bye the way, people might likely profit from some psychoanalysis online, especially with strangers. They're only trying to stay safe. Nothing wrong with it.

Maybe you're the one projecting your pain onto men. Talk about practice what you preach others. That day you publicly called a man a "0" on the forum. You think that that's not hurtful. Publicly insulting someone. How about reflect on your own energy? This is the same guy who defended you a couple of posts ago and you publicly insulted his self esteem without self reflection. It is women like you who men have issues with and then you call it projecting. Calling you out on your behavior is nothing unfair. You get reasonable amount of support on the forum yet you unnecessarily lunge at others. Bye the way, I don't have much to learn from women who sleep with men for money because isn't that predatory already enough? It's basically feeding on men's vulnerability for sex and intimacy and making money off of it. What can I learn from people who do that? That men are weak? That men need sex? Usually any kind of a deal which involves a transaction is a rip off and men usually more often than not get ripped off in the process, the whole toxic only fans thing. You might say this has nothing to do with the topic. But friendships for men with women seem the same way. It's not a gain for men. Usually a loss-gain bargain where a woman profits from a man's attention, usually all she is most likely looking for. The man on the other hand only becomes an agent for her superficial needs.

You can't learn much about men with that attitude. Be open minded. Just a hint.

Explaining issues with the subject is not projecting. I'm explaining male mentality to someone who is completely ignorant of it and also why men are never friends with women.. You make the theory all the more plausible with your attitude here. Are you some kind of a preacher to men? I can't stand you lecturing men around the forum on how to be men. Maybe take your own advice. Men can be hurt too. Stop acting like they can't. I'm getting butt tired of your constant moral righteousness parade. It's not funny. It seems like you don't have a single clue on men's issues.

Also men want something that will lead to something substantial. They're brutally survival oriented than women. If they're into a woman, they're in it for the long haul, not just playing games. Of course they can have flings too, but on their own time, not at the expense of their personal peace. So if they see there's smoke without fire, they don't wanna waste too much time around it. Just getting a decent woman is already hard enough than wasting time around women who aren't worth the time. So if something doesn't lead to anything, then they have better things to do and attend to. It doesn't mean they can't be friends with you. But just generally men avoid being friends with women if there's not much to gain from it, it drains resources big time, this is male mentality, just deal with it. Don't make it overly complicated. Some men really want to be just friends, but you women won't give them the time of the day. You wanna bait high quality men and friendzone them, what for, they can find better girlfriends than be a woman's emotional tampon. Most women just use men in the name of being friends, anyway. Social media is full of emotionally manipulative women, the so called dark feminine, women using men to get likes on their profiles. Men are too tired of that shit and want to go for the real deal and not carrots hanging on a stick. Women are really good at dangling those carrots. Most men don't see being friends with women as a profitable option in the long run, always being friendzoned.

Only for those who know how to be around people generally peacefully. If it's not your job, then don't take it is what I meant originally by - don't create unnecessary shit. This is the most hilarious statement I must have come across. If you have that mentality, no wonder you find yourself in trouble sensing from your original post. Men don't like being riled up for shits and giggles. Don't know about women though. It's about social calibration. Men are starved and emotionally sensitive. Anything you say as a woman can be a big deal to them. You shouldn't take someone's emotions for granted. Retrospectively you could be doing more harm than good in your quest to meet needs lol. Yes it would be nice to get compliments from others too (I mean women you don't wanna date or expect sex from) but it comes with caveats. Nobody likes to deal with baggage and offloaded emotions. You're perhaps not good at it and that's why you repulsed those men and they walked out. Contrary to popular belief that men aren't emotional or they are too stoic, men can actually sense the intent behind a woman's conversation as it is an important means of dating and survival. It's easy to see how an emotionally starved man can see your compliments as a disguise. Just don't do it. Don't lay your hook where you don't wanna fish. The nature of your underhanded commenting suggests that you probably enjoy baiting. Tons of women like that. Your original post sounds like it. God, look at its length, just says how much you're fussing over a nonchalant issue lol. You could be creating a major life crisis for someone else.

Then process your logic around it first. That's impossible. There's not a donkey in the room. There's more to this than mere complimenting men. You don't just lose someone for complimenting them. You probably made them feel wanted and then unwanted. They felt offended and walked out of the drama. But you don't have to meet their needs when you have a husband, maybe attend to his needs if possible. It's valid for him to feel awkward if you're too worried about the needs of other men. When men complain about compliments they don't mean married and taken women lol. They mean there's not an abundant amount of flirting these days, thanks to feminists who make everything a chore and complain about misogyny all the time. It's not your job to meet an unmet need at the expense of everyone's peace. People will meet their needs in a more wholesome way without the extra baggage, if you know what I mean. I don't think people are always fishing for compliments. A drama free relationship is what most men look for. By generating less drama lol. If women didn't have an enormous sense of self importance, then maybe it wouldn't be so hard for men to date. Regarding cold and insular, just be nice and friendly and don't take it overboard. Avoid unnecessary shit if you can.

This is true. I agree with this. If you have a healthy relationship, you would never feel the need to explain anything. In fact if you have issues with communicating love, then it's often a sign of insecurities on both or one side at least. Or a lack of love.