Whitney Edwards

The next trap is staying with a man after he verbally abuses you. If a man is verbally abusive to you, that's it. It's over. You're not going to fix that relationship. So one of the things that you do as you mature and you wise up is that you get wise about what will and won't work in a relationship, and then you stop having fantasies and kind of bullshitting yourself about relationships that won't work. You just see it. Well, you know, this person's been verbally abusive to me a couple of times, it's over. It's not going to work. Whereas if you're young and naive, you can start to think like, well, but my feelings for him will make us work it out. Our love is so strong, we can work past that. It's like, no, you're not going to work past that. Another trap is getting into a romantic relationship with a mentally ill person. Now, look, this is difficult because plenty of people who watch my content suffer from mental illness, and I'm not trying to demean people with mental illness and difficulties in that regard, but also, we have to be honest. Being in romantic relationships with people who have schizophrenia or BPD or bipolar disorder, I mean, this can be a nightmare. It can be a nightmare. It can be one of the biggest traps of your life, marrying such a person, having children with such a person. That doesn't mean these people are bad or there's anything wrong with them per se. It's just that, like, being in romantic relationships with people who have these kinds of conditions, I mean, it's going to be real difficult to make that work. I'm not saying you can't make that work. I'm sure there's examples where people with these kinds of conditions do find love and it works for them. But, like, realistically, there's going to be so many problems there. Just like, again, it's just about, I'm just trying to caution you about being realistic about what you're getting yourself into. Another trap here is investing yourself completely into a relationship. Your relationship should not be the thing that completes you. That's a mistake because a person can always leave you, and then what are you going to be? And then will you be able to relate properly with that other person if you're always afraid that they're going to leave you because you are so completely invested in the relationship that if they leave you, to you, that's like death. This could actually lead to suicide. A lot of people commit suicide this way because they're so overly invested in a relationship. They got nothing else going for them in their life. They're not self-actualizing. They're not developing their career, their business, and other stuff like that, their spiritual connection to reality, that when somebody leaves them, their whole world collapses. Me, I've developed such a rich life living alone so long that if I get into a relationship and then I lose the relationship, it hurts. It can really hurt for a few weeks, for a month. It can hurt like a [expletive]. But then after that, it's kind of amazing. Like, I'm like, "Wow, it's like I awoke from a dream." And it's like, whether that person is in my life or not in my life, it doesn't impact how I feel about my life almost at all. I'm as happy as I ever was. Like, my satisfaction does not depend upon any person in my life. And that's because I've kind of designed it that way. Of course, there's sort of an opposite problem is that you can get too independent. And in fact, I've fallen into this problem is that I'm too much of a loner. I'm too independent. I'm too disconnected from people to the point where then I struggle in intimate relationships to then, of course, to commit to those relationships because it's the opposite sort of problem. So that's a double-sided trap right there. You've got to watch out for. Get the balance right on that. Of course, getting married to the wrong person can be a huge trap. Having children with the wrong person can be a huge trap. Engaging in criminal behavior, that's an obvious trap. And the trap of criminal behavior is that usually when you do it the first time, you never get caught. And in fact, you can do criminal behavior 10, 20 times and never get caught. You can go shoplifting 20 times and never get caught. And most likely, you'll get away with it. But then that 21st time, you get caught, and your whole life is destroyed. The next trap is getting physically violent. Violence is always a trap because violence begets violence. And then that comes with criminal charges and that comes with regret and that comes with retribution and negative emotions and drama. You don't want this in your life. And sometimes you can be driven to such a rage that you just want to get violent, especially if you're faced with some sort of very unfair situation. If you're treated very unfairly and you're at your wit's end and have no other recourse, eventually you're going to lash out in violence. But you have to watch out and prevent yourself from doing that because that can be very dangerous. Even just one time of that can be very dangerous. Could ruin your whole life. Next is expecting spiritual gurus to be perfect. Most of them aren't. Next is the trap of thinking that enlightenment will be a cure-all for all of your low development issues, for your immaturity, for your shadow, for your survival issues, for your money problems. Enlightenment is not going to fix these for you. So the fantasy of enlightenment, that's a huge trap. There's a lot. A whole episode could be made about just the fantasies of enlightenment and awakening. Pursuing spirituality if you're too young without mastering the basics of survival, this is a big trap that I've pointed out many times to you guys already. Sometimes I even think that even at my age— I'm almost 40 now—even at my age, like, I sometimes regret getting into spirituality this young because I think that, like, really, I still during my young years—you know, during my 30s, 40s, even 50s—I should be doing all the active stuff, the stuff that takes a lot of energy, that takes all of my best health, and then later when I'm in my 60s and later, if I'm still kicking, then, um, that's where I should be sitting on the couch all day meditating. That's really the proper order of things. So, you know, be careful if you're in your 20s especially or even in your teens getting too heavy into philosophy and spirituality, this kind of sedentary where you're meditating and contemplating but you're not actually participating and engaging with life, you're not engaging in relationships, you're not engaging in business, you're not engaging in money-making, you're not engaging in socialization. This is a big mistake, which is not to say you should completely ignore spirituality, but like, you gotta kind of think long term and plan out your life because when you're going to get older, like I'm getting older now, I have less energy, I have less health, I'm less able to socialize, I'm less able to do active stuff. And it's only going to get worse, right? So, like, your youth is so precious, you need to really live it up, have the sex, go have fun, do the partying, go out there, work hard on your business, this kind of stuff, which is going to get harder to do when you get older because you're just not going to have the energy and the health for it. I'm telling you. And then, once your health gets worse, then you can sit and meditate all day, once you have a pile of money, you know, pile of money, you've had all the sex so you don't need sex anymore, you're not an animal, you've done all the socializing so you're happy with that, you don't need to go to parties anymore, you know, get that stuff out of your system. Use your 20s and 30s to get all that stuff out of your system so that by the time you're 40 or 50 now, you can just chill out and enjoy life without needing to have regrets about like, "Oh, well, I wish I had some more sex" or "I wish I went to more parties" and now I'm too old for that kind of thing. You want to avoid those regrets. The next trap is expecting one set of teachings to be all that you need. No one set of teachings will be enough for you. You need a lot more than that to figure out life. The next trap is treating awakening as a binary thing: either you're awake or you're not awake, on or off. No, that's not how consciousness works. Treating all spiritual teachings as the same, all the different schools of teachings, the Buddhists and the Hindus, and they're all talking about the same thing, and Leo's talking about the same thing, no, we're not all talking about the same thing. Next is making yourself too busy. You need downtime to integrate and contemplate. You need actually more downtime than you think. It would be nice to have at least an hour a day to yourself where you just sit and contemplate all the stuff that happened to you throughout the day.

The next trap is debt: loans, credit cards, payday loans, and of course, student loans. A lot of young people are getting trapped with student loans because they're like that girl in Florida, you know, digging in the sand. That's kind of what university is these days. You're just digging in the sand. Society tells you to go to university, you're just digging in the sand, and then you get buried under a mountain of debt. You don't even think about it until you've graduated, and now you've got $200,000 in debt and you can't even get a job because you got some stupid degree that nobody is even hiring for or the economy is not so great. Investing on margin, big mistake. Buying speculative investments, gambling. And then now we're going to move into the domain of romantic relationships. A lot of traps here, of course, entire volumes of books could be written about this. But the big one, and the most obvious one of course, is romantic infatuation. This falling in love, what humans call falling in love, this kind of love, it's a very flimsy kind of love, very selfish kind of love usually doesn't work, usually blows up in your face. So there's that one, which should be distinguished from the kind of existential love that I talk about, spiritual love. That's a separate topic, of course they're connected, but like humans abuse the notion of love selfishly and then they corrupt it and they just use love to get good positive emotions for themselves, chasing emotional states, which of course is fool's gold. It doesn't work for generating happiness. Which is not to say you can't fall in love or there's anything wrong with falling in love, but you just gotta be careful about how that's happening. There's a lot of fantasies that come with falling in love, especially if you're doing it the first few times. You know, as you get wiser, you get more realistic. Next is being a doormat, staying in toxic relationships as a trap. The trap of self-sacrifice where your duty is to bend over backwards for everybody else, like a good boy or girl, and not take care of your own needs. This is a trap women commonly fall into. Calling your romantic partner vulgar names is a trap. There are certain red lines within a relationship that once crossed cannot be uncrossed, and one of those is calling your partner certain vulgar names. You can't take those back. Those get seared into their minds and then it toxifies your relationship going forward. Another one of those red lines is threatening to break up a relationship. You should avoid doing that at all costs. Do not talk about breaking up unless you are already fully decided that you're going to break up. Don't threaten to break up. This is going to ruin your relationships, and it's hard to resist that, right? Because if you're in a fight with your girlfriend or whatever, it's really tempting to start to think to yourself, "Well, maybe this is not going to work," and you tell her that "We're breaking up and I'm leaving" and this, right? And then the next day you apologize. But see, it's one of those red lines that you've crossed and you can't uncross. Even if she takes you back, even if you get back together again, still in the back of her mind, she's always going to be now worried that you're going to leave her next.

Taking psychedelics without proper research and protocols, without knowing exactly what you're taking, that's a trap. Using psychedelics in public spaces, especially at raves and nightclubs, that's a trap. Assuming that psychedelics will affect your friend the same way they affect you, like you might take a gram of mushrooms and you're all happy and in a good mood, it's a light trip. Then you give your friend a gram of mushrooms and he's freaking out on the floor, going ape[expletive], and having an existential crisis, wondering, "Well, how can this be?" Well, because you assumed that psychedelics affect everybody the same, and they don't. This is the trap of assumptions that we talked about, right? Your naive assumptions are getting subverted, and psychedelics are the mother of the subverting of assumptions. But basically, you can recognize, I hope, that any addiction is a trap. Addiction is the trap we're talking about here, and then chemical addiction is just maybe the most severe form of it. Speeding in the rain, that's a trap. I almost killed myself doing that one time. Texting while driving, that's a trap. New technology can be a trap. Notice that every new technology brings with it new traps that come, whether it's nuclear weapons, whether it's the internet, social media. Now we have AI. What are the traps that are coming with that? A lot of potential traps, but also, of course, a lot of opportunities too, right? So it's not all bad. Cynicism and nihilism are traps. I have an episode about nihilism called "Understanding Nihilism" that addresses that, and then cynicism, I'm going to have an episode on cynicism. That's an important trap that I haven't talked about yet. Skepticism can be a trap. People misuse skepticism a lot. I have an episode called "True Versus False Skepticism" which addresses that one, especially. A lot of atheistically minded people, scientifically minded people, rationalists misuse skepticism. The next trap is being a contrarian or being anti-mainstream. I've actually noticed that this is something that I've been doing for a long time. The psychology of this trap is very interesting because the reason fundamentally that you're trying to be contrarian is that you want to feel unique and special. Your ego wants that, and so to feel that specialness and uniqueness, you adopt the opposite views of everybody around you. But then this can be a trap because a lot of times the mainstream has correct views. It is actually not the case that the mainstream is usually wrong. Usually, the mainstream is right about most things, but then it's those things that they're wrong about that really do matter. They can be significant. So it's not really an issue of quantity. It's an issue of accuracy. How accurate are you at identifying what the mainstream is wrong about, which is different than just rejecting the mainstream?

The next trap is doing criticism as a career. You know, speaking of YouTubers, there's a lot of social media personalities out there and just, you know, radio talk show hosts and news hosts and so forth who develop criticism as a career. It's like every day they're criticizing somebody, some group. And what they don't realize is that as you do this kind of criticism day after day after day for your work, that has an effect on your mind that poisons your mind slowly over time because you're just judging, you're judging, you're judging, you're criticizing all the time but you're not aware of how this is going to trap you in 10 years, make you a bitter, close-minded, dogmatic, toxic person. This is the sort of Alex Jones effect. You don't want to be Alex Jones, I promise you. He doesn't have a good life. Identifying with a religion, nationality, or race. Oh, of course, this issue of identity is so profound and central. In a sense, it's the mother of all traps. But if you identify with a religion, nationality, or race, this is a problem. Your identity should be bigger than that, broader than that. Now, of course, if you do identify with the religion, nationality, race, you're going to say, "Well, Leo, what's wrong with that? I'm a Jew," or, "I'm a Hindu." I'm telling you that eventually you'll realize, you know, you live 10, 20 years playing that out, playing out your identity. Eventually, you'll realize the limits of that. It'll be a very limited life. This is kind of a we might say stage blue or could also be stage green sort of way of life. The next trap is wasting time hating others, and there's a corollary trap here which is hating an entire gender, race, or group of people just because you've been hurt by a few individuals from that group. This is a trap that we saw Kanye West fall into recently in the last couple of years. He had some bad experiences in Hollywood, in the music business, with some unscrupulous, let's say, Jewish business people. Okay, but then the mistake he made is he's overgeneralizing, and then he's turned that into anti-Semitism. And I don't mean the kind of anti-Semitism that they're accusing the college protesters of right now. I mean like the real anti-Semitism. Kanye West has really gone off the deep end in that regard, and so that's a mistake, right? So, the correct thing for Kanye West to say is to say, "Look, I've been screwed over in my career by some really unscrupulous Jewish business people, a handful of them. Right? Five, ten of them, how many of them has he interacted with? Not more than 20, I promise you. But that does not mean that all Jews are like that. See, that's the mistake, is when you take it to that next level. Next mistake is not mistake but trap is partying too much. And here we're getting into the chemicals and intoxicants category, using chemicals to make yourself happy. This is the broad theme of this category. Of course, let's list all the chemicals here that you could trap yourself with: antidepressants and benzos, those can be a trap, just ask Jordan Peterson about how that worked out for him. Taking steroids to boost your self-image, a lot of young men fall into that trap, especially from watching these sort of alpha gym rats parading themselves around on Instagram. Of course, these guys are taking $10,000 worth of steroids every month to maintain their looks and then you gotta keep up with that. I mean, this is foolishness. Drugs and intoxicants such as smoking, alcohol, chronic weed use, cocaine, heroin, vaping. Why are you vaping? For what? What does it do for you? Realize that your vaping is completely unnecessary, just a waste of time. I mean, I hope you get conscious one day that you realize that when you're vaping, it's just, you're just being a monkey, like it's stupid, what you're doing is just stupid. Now again, I'm not telling you how to live your life. You want to vape, go ahead and vape. I don't care. But like, but really, one day, just like sit down and like look at what you're doing, like why are you doing it? Psychedelics, of course, are near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of traps that come with psychedelics, and I have videos that address and point out many of those with psychedelics, thinking that you can use psychedelics as a shortcut to the personal development work that we talk about here. Of course, that's a trap.

When you're out there protesting, even if you're right on the issue, even if you're right about climate change or you're right about saving the animals or whatever, what you don't realize is that this is radicalizing your mind with tier one unconscious politics. And it doesn't matter that you're right on some particular narrow issue. It doesn't matter because the larger issue is that your mind is going to get radicalized for the rest of your life, and then you won't be able to take in information like my conscious politics series. That's the bigger trap that you're missing. Now, of course, look, in the end, I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. I have my opinions. They're just my opinions and biases and I don't know you and you have your own. So, if it's really important and your values tell you that you gotta go out there and you gotta protest and get arrested on a college campus, if that's really your path, fine, do that. You know, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. And some of these things that I say are traps are not traps for all people. They're traps for some people or they're traps for most people, but you might be the exception to that, right? So, you have to be nuanced here. But in general, I don't see that these young college kids who are politically active are thinking about this deeper meta issue about how their mind is getting radicalized. I don't see them understanding that, which is why I bring this to your attention. See, I'm not coming at it from this position of like, the sort of cess position of like, oh, we got to crack down on college protest. No, college protest, I have no problem with that per se. To me, it's just a shame that these young minds are being radicalized, and what people don't realize is that even when you're right on an issue, your mind is still being radicalized. That's still a bad thing. That's still a mistake. People sometimes think, well, if I'm right, then I should be as radical as possible about it and then it's just going to be better. The more radical I am about the right thing that I have my right position, then the better it is. No, the radicalization itself is the problem regardless of your position. Next related trap is assuming that the left or the right wing are all bad, evil, and wrong. See, what's going to end up happening is that as you do this radical protesting, eventually you're going to adopt the attitude that some group of people or political actors are evil and wrong, and then you're going to be wrong. By thinking that way, you're going to get locked into your little perspective, you know, stage green, you're gonna get stuck at stage green and I want you to get beyond that, so that's the trap here that I'm putting out. Another trap here is single-issue voting. Some people vote, they're not very politically engaged, but they can get politically engaged on one issue that they're passionate about. Maybe you smoke weed, and then some politician promises you to legalize weed so you get really passionate and now you've never voted in your life but you'll go out and vote for them. Or normally you don't vote but then Trump promises to ban abortion and then now you're excited to vote for him because of that one narrow issue. See, this is a trap. And in fact, politicians, they know that most people are stupid and most people are not politically educated or informed and they don't go out and vote. So instead, what politicians do is they try to find these little like these very little selfish little personal issues that they can kind of hook you with to get you out there to vote for them. But really when you're voting for a leader of a country, what you should be considering is the leader as a whole. You need to think holistically, not narrowly focused on one particular issue, otherwise you might win on that one issue with that one person but you're going to lose out more generally in the bigger picture. The next trap is cheating, lying, and stealing. Also not paying your taxes, just ask Wesley Snipes. Building a life around your physical appearance, girls fall into that trap more than guys do. Selling your body for money, you know, the problem with selling your body for money and building a life around your physical appearance is that, of course, your physical appearance is very fleeting. You'll lose it pretty quickly. So you want to build your life and your career on something more A than that. The next trap is not following your passions, also not following your intuitions and your hunches. Now that doesn't mean that your intuitions are always correct. It can take years for you to hone your intuition and until then it'll have some mistakes in it but that's a process you go through to hone your intuition. I have an episode about how to develop your intuition but it's better to listen to your intuition than to ignore it. But there's also another trap here, and that's the trap of always trusting your intuition. Every hunch, every intuition you think is correct, and of course that's a trap because you will have bad intuitions. How do you learn to distinguish the good ones from the bad ones? By honing it over decades of experience. The next trap is having a fantasy of what a job entails, like a dream job. Maybe you want to be a rock star or you want to be a video game designer or you want to be a YouTuber these days. I recently read a poll that they did and they said that the latest generation, gen Z or whatever it's called, that their dream job is to be a YouTuber. It's funny when I hear this, it's funny 'cause as a YouTuber myself and one of the original ones, I was pretty early to YouTube. I've been on YouTube since 2013 so I've been here for a while. Let me tell you, there's nothing glamorous about this job. Now, there's perks to it and that you get to work from home and so forth that's nice but it's not as far as a dream job goes, you know, that's a fantasy. So, anyways, the trap here is that you can develop sort of a fantasy of what a job entails without looking at actually like what's the minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day grind of a job rather than your fantasies of it. You know, you want to be an actor, Hollywood actor, I promise you that the actual daily minute-to-minute life of a Hollywood actor is not as glamorous as you think it is from watching the movies. Behind the scenes, it's, you know, it's a lot of God knows what their life is really like. I don't even want to know.

Next trap is distracting yourself with social games, the entire social domain, political kind of games. And I don't mean political in terms of like political ideology, we'll get to that in a minute. I mean political in terms of like, you know, whatever social situation you're in, if you're just at a party, if you're at somebody's house party, you understand that politics is going on, right? Social games are being played, that's what I mean by politics here. And then, the next trap related to this is petty human emotional drama. It's so easy to get trapped up in this, especially if you're watching the news, you know, some current event, people getting outraged over this thing or that thing, they're protesting this or this and that. And it's like when you really zoom out and you take a look at, like, the Earth, you look at the entire galaxy as a whole and the Earth as a spec within it, and you look at a Thousand-Year time frame, it's like, what is this little outrageous petty human trivial drama? What does it matter in the end? It doesn't. And a year from now, none of this is going to matter. But you invest so much of your attention and focus into this, wasting your mental energy, wasting your time. The next trap is one about raising children. I think this is one of the biggest traps with raising children, is that you tend to then push your values on the child, brainwashing your child with content. Like, if you're a Christian, then you'll want to brainwash your child with Christianity. This is a mistake. Your job as a parent is to guide your child in a meta way. And what that means is that you teach them higher principles by which to live, the sort of meta principles of self-actualization, and maybe some spirituality, and maybe you give them different perspectives, and you teach them how perspectives and epistemology works, and then you let them make their own decisions about the content and about what their values are, what their biases in life should be, you know, what kind of spirituality they want to do or don't do, rather than pushing some specific flavor of it upon them. So, it's very tempting to kind of wrap your hands around your children and then kind of like overly control them because you want what's best for them and you think you know what's best for them, but really what's best for them is to discover for themselves what's best for them. And that's a discovery process, and you can't assume that your child will be interested in spirituality or your flavor of spirituality, or in being a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer the way you want them to be, or pursuing a business degree the way you want for whatever reasons. These are classic traps of parenting. And in general, this is actually there's a general point here, which is just about teaching. If you're trying to teach effectively, there's traps that come with that. If you're sort of a beginner teacher with little experience, you're going to be wanting to just kind of brainwash your students with facts and information and get them to memorize it. That's a poor form of Education. A good form of education is when you are teaching your students how to think for themselves, and you're facilitating them. The key word there is facilitation. You're facilitating a process of them having insights for themselves. It's the difference between belief and ideology and insight. And I've covered that topic in my episode called understanding Insight. I believe something something Insight search for insight and you'll find it. The next trap is becoming politically radicalized. Far-left, far-right, but also anti-mainstream political ideologies which are in vogue these days, especially on social media. These are huge traps. If you fall into that trap, then you're going to be engaging in partisan politics and what I call tier one politics rather than tier 2 or conscious politics which I have a whole four-part series on called conscious politics part 1 2 3 4. You're going to miss out on all that if you get sucked into the far left or the far right. And this is one of the reasons why I will say that political activism on college campuses is a trap. We're seeing this right now in the news with these college kids protesting the Gaza situation. Which look, I'm not telling you it's a trap on the grounds of the content of your protest. So, in terms of the evil stuff that Israel is doing, I'm giving you that. I'm not disputing that. That's not the issue. What these young college kids don't realize, though, is that even if you're right on the issue, even if Israel is evil and all that and you go with that, okay, fine. But even if all that is true, there's a deeper issue here. The deeper issue is that you're young, you're in your early 20s. You should be spending that time educating yourself, developing technical skills, career skills, learning to self-actualization, basic spirituality, personal development, this kind of stuff, learning to date and socialize, get your love life in order. See, you should be handling all that. That should have you so full that you don't have time to go protest.

Next is sexual offers that sound too good to be true, To Catch a Predator with Chris Hansen, how's that for a trap? Having unprotected sex, having sex with prostitutes, dating strippers or porn stars, dating fuckboys, these are all classic traps. Pickup, of course, I've talked about pickup, I've taught pickup in some of my videos, but pickup can be a huge trap if you do it in the wrong ways. In my three-part series, how to get laid, I cover some of the traps that come with pursuing getting laid in the wrong ways, the ideology that can come with it and so forth. Sleeping with lots of people in general is a trap, treating sex casually, this sort of liberal idea that sex is just this free love and you can have open relationships and sex is no big deal and it's just casual and it's all okay. I mean, this is a fantasy. The reality is that sex is a big deal, it can be dangerous, it can have serious consequences, emotions get hurt. Sleeping with drunk girls, there's a trap for you if you're doing pickup. Trying to act macho and invulnerable, a lot of young men fall into this trap, trying to attract women with money, trying to attract women by being extra nice to them, that's a trap, bragging or trying to impress women, that's a trap, keeping track of how many girls you've slept with, that's a trap, and in general, just chasing women is a trap. Like, it took me a long time to realize that if a woman likes you, you don't need to chase her. If you're chasing a woman, that means she's not interested in you, and you're not going to get her, and all this effort you're expending is just making you look desperate, it's not going to actually attract you women. Stop chasing women. This is one of the simple, essential, fundamental lessons of pickup, is just stop chasing women. Now, you might say, "Well, Leo, isn't pickup chasing women?" No, there's something that chasing women means. It's like, when I say stop chasing women, that doesn't mean that you don't go out to a nightclub and socialize and flirt with women. What I mean by chasing women is like you need to develop a sense of when a woman is receptive to you or not. And if you don't have that sense, then you can be one of these sort of clueless, inexperienced guys who just tries to, you know, like, you're texting the same girl over and over again, like, "Hey, what are you doing tonight? You want to come out?" And she doesn't respond, and then you text her again the next night, and the next night, and the next night. It's like, what are you doing? If she wanted you, you wouldn't need to be badgering her over text messages. It took a long time for me to realize that. So that's a trap. Not handling your sexual needs and repressing your sexual desires, that's a sort of an alternative trap here. What you should notice is that the traps are usually not just one-sided; they're usually two-sided. There are two sides to a situation, and if you go too much into either extreme, like for example with sex, if you go completely abstinence in celibate route, then that's going to be a trap. And if you go completely the "playboy" manor route, just sleeping with everybody indiscriminately, hundreds of girls, that's going to be a trap, right? So, you need to find the Middle Road there, and so it is with most situations and traps. Not learning how to socialize, that's a big trap. A lot of young men are falling into that trap these days because they're chronically online. They have atrophied social skills; they never developed social skills. They're playing video games too much, thousands of hours on video games but no social skills. And also, more and more people are neurodivergent, autistic, having these kinds of problems, which makes them bad at reading social cues, bad social intelligence, and of course, this is related to diet, related to chemicals in our environment, and so on. Next trap is trying to control and manipulate people, that's a big one. When you realize that you shouldn't control and manipulate people anymore in your life, and you stop doing that, that's a huge shift, a huge inner game shift for you. But it can take a while; it can take a decade for you to really have that sink in and click for you. And also related to that is treating people transactionally, treating people with disrespect, trolling and bullying others, that's a trap. Authoritarian leadership style, and that can be if you're a politician, if you're a corporate executive, if you're the leader in your family, or even in a romantic relationship. You can adopt a sort of authoritarian leadership style where you just try to dominate the other person. In your marriage, in your business, you know, you dominate your partners or your coworker or whatever, your co-workers, and this will end up backfiring on you. Another trap is being destructive, trying to hurt others, getting revenge, getting even, even something like torturing others, people fall into that trap. You might think, well Leo who tortures people these days? Well, you'd be surprised. When I say torturing others, it doesn't necessarily mean that you literally have to be as something as gross as tying someone to a table and then slitting them with razor blades. I mean, it can be, you know, you can get pleasure out of torturing people in subtle ways over text messages, you know, some girl who scorned you, you know, you could try to torture her over text message. This kind of destructive vent that you develop, especially if you've been hurt, if you've been traumatized, if you feel bitter because you've had failures in your life and life is not going very well, you're in a bad mental state, you can get down this kind of destructive path where you actually get joy out of hurting others. This is a big trap; nothing good comes with this.

Another trap that I've fallen into and I see a lot of people falling into is too easily trusting doctors, scientists, experts, and gurus. There's this habit of just going to an expert like a doctor and just blindly listening to whatever he's telling you. You know, he writes out some medications for you, you just take them, you don't read the label, you don't do your own research because hey, you're paying the doctor a lot of money anyway, so just might as well trust him, right? Well, wrong, because of course, the reality is that most doctors aren't looking out for you, they're looking out for themselves, and they don't have a lot of time to worry about your problems, and they're just going through the motions, writing out medicine prescriptions. Not to mention that they're also pressured by pharmaceutical companies, they're given free samples and special deals and stuff like that. So it's really in your interest to take responsibility for your own health. When you go to a doctor, your attitude should be that you've already done the research and you know more than the doctor about your specific condition, whatever you have. And these days, with all the online information that we have, with Reddit, with forums, specific forums on every medical condition you can imagine on the internet, and now we have AI as well that you can leverage. So with all that, within a week, you can research your whatever condition you have better than most doctors, unless you have some exceptional doctor, which is pretty rare. They do exist, but generally speaking, most doctors are not exceptional, and they don't know more than what you can research by self within a week on the internet. And they often times give you the wrong advice, give you the wrong medicine, mislead you. Not intentionally, just because it's a system, right? They're part of a corrupt system. And of course, too easily trusting spiritual gurus is a big trap. This is one of the problems I have with the whole guru model. You know, these days in the west, we misuse the label guru; we call everybody guru these days. Like, that guy's a marketing guru, and this guy's a love guru, and then Leo's some sort of self-actualized guru. It's like, no, I'm really not a guru. What a guru really means in the classical sense, it's a very specific kind of relationship. It's a master-apprentice relationship, like the sort of Jedi Padawan, you know, Master Jedi Padawan relationship, where you find a spiritual master, and then you resign yourself, consign yourself to him for the rest of your life, and then you follow him very diligently and do what he tells you to do, sort of kind of like blindly, obediently, and then just in the hopes that that would lead you to some ultimate enlightenment or whatever. And while that can work, I think there's a lot of ways that can go wrong. I mean, because when you're a newbie student, when you're an apprentice, when you're a padawan, you have no idea of what guru is a good guru, and who's a corrupt guru. There's plenty of corrupt gurus out there, cult leaders, and people who will sexually abuse you, and whatever, and it will not lead you to any kind of enlightenment. But you don't know any better as a newbie, and then you consign yourself to that, and then where does that lead you? So that can be a trap. Now, is it always a trap? Of course not. I'm sure there's cases of success where that works. But look, this is a general point about all the traps on this list, is that you might start thinking to yourself, "Well, Leo, I've done some of these things you're saying, and I'm okay. And in fact, it worked out for me, I'm doing good, I benefited from it." Well, look, a trap doesn't mean that it's 100% always a trap. A lot of times traps are like something that works 75% of the time, and then 25% of the time, it's a disaster. And then that's the trap. And in fact, what makes it such a trap is that the first few times you do it, it's like, "Hey, people were telling me this thing is bad." You know, the first few times maybe you snort some cocaine or whatever, it's like, "Well, it's fun, it's good, I don't feel bad the next morning, I don't have a hangover, it's fine, what's the problem?" It's people were just fear-mongering to me about cocaine. But then you get down that road, and then you get into the problems. Next trap, not diversifying your information sources. Whether it's news, politics, religion, philosophy, a teacher, a guru, an expert, if all you're relying on is that one source of information, this becomes a huge trap, which is why a theme of what I try to teach is multi-perspectivalism. I share so many diverse perspectives with you precisely because I don't want you to get trapped and locked into any one perspective, including my own perspective. And we've been doing that since day one with actualized.org. The next few traps: sleeping with your guru or spiritual teacher, very obvious if you think about it. Sleeping with, also of course, your employees, your students, your followers, your coworkers, your bosses. In other words, thinking with your dick or your ovaries. Next is joining a spiritual commune. Now, that's kind of a euphemism. I say spiritual commune, what I really mean is a cult. But of course, I'm not going to say it that way because if I say joining a cult, everyone says, "Well, I'm not dumb enough to join a cult." When people join a cult, they don't think they're joining a cult. When people join a cult, they think they're joining a beautiful, new age spiritual commune with advanced, far-out ideas about free love and other things like this. Classic trap. And then of course, even worse than that trap is the trap of starting a cult, starting a spiritual commune yourself, thinking that you know what you're doing. Please don't start a spiritual commune, you're going to screw it up. All of your corruption and ego and immaturity and inexperience, all of that will lead to disaster unless you really know what you're doing, you're really mature, and you have a lot of experience with these sorts of things. And even then, it'll be difficult, which is one of the reasons why I never started a spiritual community. What we have with actualized.org is not really a spiritual commune. I mean, it's just a forum. It's not a proper cult, okay? You guys who call me a cult leader, you don't know what a proper cult is. Go check out my two-part series, cult psychology part one, part two, where we talk about what a cult really entails. It's not what you're seeing here. It's not what you're seeing on the forum.

We have literally over 250 traps to cover. So, I'm going to be breezing through some of these. I want to give you a big picture overview, so I'm not going to be delving into each point too much here. We're going to be going quickly. And also, keep in mind that I have episodes already on many of these points, multi-series episodes I have already on some of these points. All right, so here we go, the master list of traps. First is, and this is we're going to start with some of the biggest ones here, very general ones, is chasing money, sex, power, fame, status, approval, luxury, pleasure, and intoxicated states. I mean, that right there is like 80% of all the traps that humans fall into. Next is trying to get the easy life. Next is thinking you can get value for nothing. This is fool's gold right here. Within investing, within dating, within business, people try to get value for nothing, trying to leech value rather than being a massive value provider. And of course, this ends up hurting you in the end. Next is avoiding work and procrastination. Procrastination gets worse and worse the more you do it, like a Chinese finger trap. Next is avoiding responsibility, and one of the best ways we do that is by blaming others. That's a trap. Next is ignoring problems and letting them fester, sweeping problems under the rug, and then, closely related to that, is the next one, which is addressing problems but only at the surface and not at the root, such that your problems keep recurring over and over again for years, for the rest of your life, rather than just investing the time and energy to solving it permanently. I've talked about that in the past; it was actually one of my first videos that I ever recorded was on that topic. Next is being indecisive and avoiding making decisions and then getting stuck without direction, rudderless. I have an episode about how to become more decisive. Next is the trap of scientific materialism, logical positivism, reductionism, rationalism, and scientism. Of course, I've covered that topic a lot so I won't delve much deeper into it here. But we should also mention here closely related is atheism, the trap of atheism, and the trap there is the dismissing of religion as superstition and fantasy. Of course, that leads us to the next step which is religion itself. Religion is one of the biggest traps there is. So how can it be the case that atheism is a trap and religion is also a trap? Well, of course, the atheists are right; there is a lot of nonsense within religion, but not all of it is nonsense. I want to do an episode just about atheism; I don't think I've ever discussed it deeply enough at this point. I mean, it's, I would think I have, but I don't think I have a specific episode on atheism yet. Long overdue. Next is consuming too much media: television, video games, news, and then of course, closely related and deserves its own mention and special category of social media and all the kind of rabbit holes you can go down with the conspiracy theories, various kinds of ideologies, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all this kind of stuff. The overconsumption of this to the point where it drains hundreds and thousands of hours of your life that you should be investing in building yourself and developing skills. I think a lot of young people are falling into this trap right now; they're just spending way too much time on TikTok, way too much time on Instagram. It's spoiling their mood, but also they're spending a lot of time playing video games, thousands of hours of online video games and so on, instead of really spending the first decade or two of their lives, the most important decade or two just laying their foundation. The next trap is junk food and processed food. The next one is outsourcing crucial functions to others. So there are certain things that you should outsource and delegate to others, and in fact, it's a trap if you don't do that, trying to do everything yourself rather than specializing, delegating, and outsourcing is itself a problem. And I suffer from that problem because I tend to want to do everything myself because I subscribe to that adage that if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself. But of course, that makes you very limited in what you're able to do. So you have to learn how to delegate and work with others to accomplish larger goals. But there are certain things you should never outsource, for example, outsourcing your inner problems to a therapist. Now there's nothing wrong with going to a therapist; in fact, I recommend it for everybody if you can afford it. They're pretty expensive, but the problem here is what I see is that a lot of times people are going to a therapist, but then they're not actually doing all the self actualization work that we talk about here on this channel. They're not really getting involved in that; they're just going to a therapist in a sort of like, "I'm just going to go to the therapist once a week, and they're going to solve all my problems." It just, it's not going to work this way. Therapists can help you, but really, this is, you know, when we're talking about therapeutic type stuff, we're talking about the mastery of your own mind. This is self-mastery we're talking about ultimately. And no one, this is not something you should be outsourcing to anybody. This is stuff you've got to, this is like your main job in life is doing this. So if you're not doing that, this is the trap of outsourcing that I'm talking about. Or for example, outsourcing your marketing for your business to somebody. Now, of course, if you just have some sort of low-level marketing stuff like you need somebody to post some stuff for you on Twitter or whatever, of course, you can outsource that. But I mean, like your marketing strategy, see marketing is the heart of your business. That's not something you should be outsourcing; that's something that you got to take charge of, you got to be a master in because that is what determines whether your business will succeed or fail. It's mostly your marketing strategy, see that's why they pay you the big bucks if you're the owner of the business, if you're the founder of the business, if you're the CEO. That's your job is to take care of that, not to expect somebody else to do it for you.

This is a transcript of Leo's latest video.. I copied it from Agrande's post in the high consciousness section. I thought having a copy of this will be useful for referencing in the future. This is a very practical episode. Here, I want to present you with a powerful conceptual lens to help you navigate all of life, and that lens is traps. Think of life as a dungeon full of booby traps, and your job is to use intelligence, wisdom, consciousness, intuition, and experience to foresee and avoid all of these traps. Traps are not so much set by evil people, although sometimes they are, but the most important traps are the traps of your own mind. Of course, the psychological traps, and really, you're learning to navigate the trickeries of your own mind and the mind at large, which is what the universe is. Mind or consciousness, as we've discussed many times before, is a very tricky thing. A general theme of our work here has been seeing how reality is all about illusion, deception, and of course, illusions create traps. And intelligence is your ability to see through those traps. But what is a trap really? A trap isn't just something that's bad; it's not just a mistake. A trap is something that's bad but seems good. Traps are enticing; a trap presents you with some large gain and value only to cost you greatly in the end. Think of how a mousetrap works. You get that juicy piece of cheese for the rat, but what's the cost? Instant death. So, it's that alluring quality of these traps which got me thinking about this whole theme and starting to look at reality through this kind of lens. This is a powerful, practical lens that I want to share with you. A trap can be thought of also as a kind of illusion. Like, think, for example, of a mirage in the desert. That's a trap or something that seems true but is actually false. So, there's these kinds of intellectual traps that we can fall into. For example, this is a kind of a silly one that you can try out on a child (won't really work on an adult), but something like, what weighs more, a ton of gold or a ton of feathers? See, if you're not careful, you'll fall into that intellectual trap. A child might also. You should notice that animals, children, the immature, the inexperienced, and the desperate are the easiest to trap. Speaking of children, I read a story a while back, a few months ago, about a girl in Florida. She was with her family at the beach, digging around in the sand, building sand castles, digging holes and stuff like that, as children do. And she dug a hole so big she crawled into it, and then, of course, it collapsed. She got trapped under the sand; nobody could hear her screams, and she was found there, buried alive. The perfect illustration of how you can entrap yourself. And that's really going to be our focus here, is how your own mind traps you. But just think about that, just imagine being that child, digging this hole, having fun in the sand, and then this whole thing just collapses on you. But see, she wasn't thinking that far enough ahead about the consequences of her actions. And this, of course, turns out to be how most traps work. There's another story, I forget where it's from, Africa someplace where they have monkeys. They have these monkeys in the forest, small monkeys. And then the way that hunters trap them is that they'll get a bottle with a narrow neck, they'll take a small little nut, coat it in honey, put it in the bottle, and then they'll throw this bottle out into the forest. The monkeys come by, they want the nut, they reach in there with their little paws, grab the nut through the bottleneck, but then their fist is clenched, they can't let go of the nut, and then they're stuck to that bottle. And then the hunter comes by and clubs them over the head. Traps can also be thought of as fantasies that you have, fantasies you've constructed in your mind which puts you out of touch with reality, which leads us into this whole separate side issue of fantasy, which I want to have a whole episode on in the future. It's really a pretty advanced topic of how your mind uses fantasy to avoid reality and to create all sorts of problems for itself. Also, traps work by subverting assumptions. I have a whole episode called "Assumption is the Mother of all Fuckups" where we discuss about the trickeries of assumptions and how they get you into trouble. Well, of course, those come into play here as well. So, we're connecting a lot of threads in this episode, you'll see a lot of connections with prior episodes that I've done, I'll be pointing those out to you as we go. A trap is often painting yourself into a corner with short-term thinking. I wouldn't worry so much about others trapping you, and I would urge you to focus more on how you trap yourself. And, of course, you trap yourself not just as an individual but also collectively. So, we're going to take a look at traps of individuals but also collective traps. How do you trap yourself as a society, as an organization, as a tribe? That's also a common problem. And one of the greatest meta traps is not seeing yourself as your own greatest enemy, of course, which is what you are. You know, trying to externalize the enemy out there somewhere. So, we're going to be interconnecting a lot of these themes here, and I'm going to be giving you many examples, hundreds of examples literally, of traps that I've come up with, that I've discovered, and to help get your mind jogging to understand what's really being talked about here, the depth of this lens and how much it can do for you, how powerful it is. And then also, I'm going to, afterwards, share with you a list of ways to avoid falling into these traps, like what are the principles for avoiding traps in general. So, every domain in life that you go into will have traps, that's one of the general principles. And throughout your life, you'll be entering new domains periodically. Every few years, you'll be entering into something new. You'll be entering a relationship, you'll be entering a new business, you'll be entering a marriage, you'll be having children, and each of those domains come, of course, with its own traps. And there are newbie traps, intermediate level traps, then very advanced traps. So, you could break it down that way as well, make those kinds of distinctions. But wouldn't it be wise from this point forward, you know, up until this point in your life, you've probably been going into various new domains not very consciously and not explicitly looking and thinking of them in terms of traps. Wouldn't it be more intelligent, though, to study and contemplate the common traps in every new domain that you enter before you enter it? From now on, that alone right there can save you a lot of trouble. Here are some of the top domains to consider in terms of traps: business, employment, and career; investing and managing your money; dating, relationships, sex, and marriage; family, raising children; education, schooling, and university; academia, science, philosophy, epistemology; spirituality and religion; politics; creativity in doing your art; health, healthcare, medicine, and nutrition; martial arts or sports; marketing, advertising, and sales; buying a house; socializing, learning the whole social world and how to socialize, how to relate with others; the pursuit of happiness; the traps of each spiral stage of development; the domain of emotions; psychedelics, drugs, and intoxicants; geographic domains when you're traveling around the world. Each country you travel to has its own traps. This brings me to Florida. You know, it seems like every year, I read news stories every month I read news stories about a crocodile grabbing somebody, some old granny walking down the street near the pond gets snatched up by a crocodile, dragged under. I watched a video on TikTok or Instagram recently where some old man was walking his little lap dog near the pond and a crocodile jumps out, grabs the little dog, swallows it, and then retreats back into the water. And the old man, he jumps into the pond, grabs this crocodile or alligator, whatever it was, and is just prying its jaws open to get his dog out. I don't know what happened after that. But the reason I bring up this Florida crocodile thing is because to me, crocodiles are a great allegory, a sort of a symbolism of traps. When I think about traps, I think about crocodiles. To me, that's like nature's trap, is the crocodile. And to me, crocodile represents also truth and reality. Because see, a lot of, again, one of the ways you fall into traps is by avoiding truth, as humans characteristically love to do. And so, what ends up happening is you avoid enough truth, eventually, reality comes to bite you. And so, the way I visualize that in my mind is with crocodiles. Crocodile, to me, represents truth, reality. And then, your head is filled with fantasy, naive foolish fantasies. You're just kind of like traipsing along near the pond, you know, innocently minding your own business, skipping along. And then, a crocodile snatches you. That's truth. That's reality. Reality is harsh, that's how it is. It doesn't play games with you, it doesn't compromise, you can't negotiate with it. Once your head is in a crocodile's jaws, you can't negotiate your way out of that, you can't fuck your way out of that, all of your human bullshit flies out the window. That's what I love about this crocodile metaphor so much because it cuts through all the human bullshit in the social domain. Humans love to bullshit so much. But then, when you're in nature, when you're facing a powerful animal, when you're facing the forces of nature that you can't negotiate with, that's when you really see the truth of who you are. Bestselling books could be written about the traps in each of these domains. For example, you could have a million-dollar book titled "The Traps of Spirituality," "The Traps of Academia," "The Traps of Politics," "The Traps of Business," "The Traps of Investing," "The Traps of Dating," "The Traps of Mainstream and Alternative Medicine." These are all million dollar best-selling book ideas right here. And also extremely practical. Think about it, if you saw one of these books on the bookshelf, you would instantly snatch it up. So, if you want a great book title or a video title, just "Traps of [blank]," and then fill in the blank with whatever thing you're interested in. But, of course, to be able to write an effective book on any of these topics, you would need to have deep experience with each of these topics, which can take years and decades to acquire and at great cost as well. So, I've spent the last years patiently compiling a list of over 250 traps on this topic. I've been wanting to shoot this episode for two years now, and finally, here we go. Let's jump into it.

I've lately been thinking about the pre mortem technique and how it could be implemented before any important life decision. Any examples if you found it successful.

Porn is nothing but addiction.

This sounds a bit unnecessarily stretched and complicated.

My exact words. Yes.

Three insights came up during my meditative practice. First one : God is love consciousness.. We are love. If you know you are love, you'll stop looking for love, you won't need to. You'll know you're love. Live in love. That's ultimate maturity. Second one : Divine intelligence is love. It cannot be otherwise. It simply isn't anything else. Morality is just a trap, a very bad one, that actually keeps us away from the fabric of Love. There is no divine love, only love, pure love and our souls feel it. Third one : We live our whole lives in self deception. We are self deception. We are clowns and we live in idiocy. We don't receive the gift of love because we don't want to ever get rid of this empty facade of a life we live. We pretend to know everything but reality and divine intelligence is simply beyond our grasp. If you truly begin to connect with your divine nature by recognizing love, then you'll experience love consciousness in glimpses, you'll realize that divine intelligence was always here for you in the here and now, you simply never saw it.

I ordered Awaken the Giant Within. Thanks.

I only need 1 perfect book on productivity. I have tried so many but many of these books are just endless stories about the author and their struggles rather giving practical suggestions on how to get shit done. I just recently bought The Atomic Habits bestseller by James Clear and still it's the same thing. I don't find it helpful. Which book has helped you the most. I'm looking to order a book right now.

@integration journey I'm thinking about awaken the giant within. I have heard a shit ton about Tony Robbins. Would that be a good idea

@integration journey I think I have deep work. How is the other one?

My lifelong goal will be to improve my mental and spiritual stamina.

I might come up with insights occasionally. I just want to continue my insight work. And I'll post these insights on the main forum perhaps just once each month, I don't plan to post too much about it because it kinda gets repetitive then.. Now I plan to post mostly once a month in the spirituality section. Rest of my time or rest of my year will be spent in exploring different spiritual themes and techniques.

It's not the human emotion love. It's the love of the Universal mind. The love of the universal oneness. Leo explains that love in this video clip to help you understand better.

Thank you.

@gettoefl yes love.

The soul is the agency of divine intelligence. The soul is the conduit of love consciousness.