enzyme

96 is a helluva lifetime From what you've shared, she sounds like she's been an excellent role model for you, that's really all you could ask for. I'm sure you made her very proud, have a safe journey.

I can't speak for anyone else on the forum, but I think I understand. It wasn't too long ago that some Actualized content felt too much for me to handle. I don't frequent the forum as much because I still struggle with basic things to do with managing my emotions and depression/anxiety. I can't see any good reason in seeking high spiritual understanding if I still have regular human baggage still to deal with. I'm aware that interpreting things incorrectly can make all that stuff worse, and it's my responsibility, I wouldn't blame Leo or anyone else. I felt compelled to write this just in case there's maybe other users here who are maybe similar to me, still quite young and have a lot to experience in normal life. There's no shame in giving this work a miss until you feel more well-adjusted.

The question to ask yourself: does your inner child ever think such a thing? No concept of biology, genetics, shifts in mood. I'd bet my money that despite whatever your genetics are, you never knew nor cared as a child, That's the ticket.

Any interaction with them, doesn't matter. My dad spent 10 years of his life 'debunking' CT's and he turned into a deranged Trumper who believed flouride in our tap water was an ulterior motive to brainwash society.

People who want to look smart. It's an ego thing. Conspiracy theories are the fools idea of intelligence.

In my humble opinion, it's worth giving veganism a shot if you haven't already, for a month at least. If you still feel like crap after that like I did then fair enough, meat is just something you need in your diet. Being vegetarian is an option too although - if animal welfare is your main concern - the dairy industry isn't innocent either. There's still death and despair in that area unfortunately.

If it helps any, I find it's best sometimes to reduce time spent on forums and consuming other forms of media in general until you don't feel as low. When you were a child, you mostly FELT the world rather than THOUGHT of it in any real capacity. That child still lives in you, so you're allowed to go back to the basics and take pleasure in the simplest of things.

@Leo Gura Only reason I had to was because we had some clients who worked in the public health sector, gotta make sure this site runs on old boomer's PC's running windows XP

Play Heart of Darkness on PS1

Long story short I've been out making myself do approaches to get over my anxiety and develop some game/social skills. I was approaching girls in the busy streets and malls and stuff and just didn't let anything in my mind stop me from doing so. But today there was a girl I spoke to the night before in a bar, I saw her in the supermarket. When I got my shopping, I saw her sitting alone on the bench. Seemed like a golden opportunity for an approach. And yet I didn't do it, I just walked on. I don't know why I let that happen. My nerves suddenly got the better of me, when just a few weeks ago I was doing approaches that were WAY more nerve wracking. Maybe it's just a mood I was in but maybe I'm missing something?

@LordFall Watching people's feeds of them going out with mutuals gave me the FOMO, plus I got tired of the more general bs posts people make. If I had a brand or a business, that would be how I use social media productively, to promote said brand or business. Otherwise I feel like I'm just consuming other people's crap.

@LordFall I had to stop with IG and social media in general, was affecting my mental health @Leo Gura I see your point, I should be having fun with it above all else, thanks brother

@Leo Gura I know getting through high volume would take the pressure off, but what would you say about approaches if your nerves and anxiety are through the roof? I had been pushing through regardless but - I'm ashamed to admit - I was in tears and wanted to go home. I think a line should be drawn somewhere, surely it's not worth it if I'm in such a state?

@Kalki Avatar Unless it's an e-sports game like Counter Strike I personally don't see the benefit in sinking hundreds of thousands of hours to improve in a game, it's about having fun. As for improving, there's loads of youtube videos out there, some people dedicate their entire channel to making tips and tricks videos on certain games, strategy/sim games especially.

@Judy2 You're probably right, could've been a one off where I just wasn't up to it @Yimpa She was working behind the bar and I striked up conversation with her, wasn't expecting it to go anywhere though she was on the job. It wasn't until I saw her again outside her work that the thought crossed my mind that I could do a genuine approach, but eh it's past now

Unless it's directly affecting your lifestyle and keeping you in the house all the time then there's nothing wrong with video games. Could always set a timer if you get sucked into a session - I'd be playing Civ 6 and 2 hours would go by in the blink of an eye if I'm not careful.

If you've been having flirty banter during your time and got a kiss and everything, you can suggest coming back for coffee. She might say "I don't like coffee", and you just go "don't worry, I don't have any"

Kanye being a deranged anti-semite? Perish the thought

Maybe you're setting the bar too high for yourself? Try and take things as they come rather than make everything out to be like it has to be a success. The hot cup of coffee in the morning, the warm water from the shower, the fresh air breathing into your lungs - sometimes it's the simplest of things that make us come alive again.

Been putting myself out there more: nearly 30 myself and never dated so I felt like I had some catching up to do. I'd say my game's alright but I'd like to try for something more committal and serious rather than just pulling and one night stands.

@SpiralAgreed, only really one night stands or some brief fling in the club during night game @CARDOZZO Yes! That's the goal. I did an approach earlier today that I felt I kinda messed up. It was in a comic book/manga store. I approached the girl while she was looking at some figurines in a display case. I commented on how some of them get crazy expensive and she laughed and agreed. I noticed she had a bubble tea drink in her hand so I asked if it was manga flavor she was drinking. She said it was and showed it to me. I told her a little funny story about the only time I ordered some bubble tea and the guy didn't cut the mango slice so I had to practically blend it up with my flimsy little straw, and she laughed before saying "well the more the better". I told her my name at that point, and she told me hers. I asked some more about what sorta anime/manga she was into and we were exchanging the same shows and stuff we were into, but then after that she went back to browsing on her own and I didn't wanna push it further. I think the mistake was I didn't close. After she told me her name I should've just asked her for her number or IG to set up a date later. At least I'll know for next time.

I made the decision about a month ago to get myself out in the city more often and start doing some approaches to get over my anxiety and hopefully improve my social skills - mostly for dating but I've found it helps me with being social in general. I've wanted to write down my experiences so far and hopefully give helpful advice for anyone else new to this. I'm a 29 yo male from UK. Best locations - During the day I'd walk around the busy high streets and shopping centres. Coffee shops are really good, bookstores, clothing stores, pop culture shops (in UK we have HMV and some anime/comic book stores), the plaza, and some parks. How I'd approach - This mostly depends on what environment I'm in - e.g. in a store I would open with some sort of observation. The girl may have been flipping through a book and I'd ask her if it was any good. Or in the Hot Topic I'd ask if she liked this particular band or not. If I was approaching a girl just as we were walking down a busy street I would be more direct by saying something among the lines of "excuse, do you have a sec? I know this is kinda random, but I just saw you as I was walking, and I wanted to come say hi". Eye contact and a smile is also being used in all these scenarios. Dealing with the anxiety - The key thing I've learned so far is that getting rejected is not the end of the world. It's honestly pretty liberating when you get knocked back and realize there was nothing to worry about. You learn it doesn't faze you and that you should be proud for actually having the balls to even take a shot at all. Approach without knowing what to say - The best approaches I had were the ones were I acted first before thinking. It's better to let go and trust yourself that you can just flow into a conversation. Making observations - When asking questions like "what do you do" or "do you like x or y", I found it didn't do much just to be like "oh cool" or "oh I see". It felt more engaging to make guesses. e.g. if a girl had tattoo's and piercings I would say she seems like one of those 'ex-goths' and she'd laugh a little. Light teasing and common ground - If a girl told me something about herself I'd generally either do some playful teasing over it or find a way to relate to her in some way. e.g. a girl mentioned to me she was going to get dinner later with a friend out in a restaurant, when I asked her whether she worked or was studying she said she was a student. Since students here are on a tight budget I teased her by going "ha, as if you could afford a dinner out in the city". Or I could've said something like "oh you're eating there? I love their food! I make that stuff at home" if I chose to try and be relatable in some way. Out of the 30 or so girls I've approached I've not been able to get a number or a date yet. The only thing that's happened so far was me and one girl ended up making out while I was out in a club. My favorite approach so far was probably with this one girl I saw while walking down the busy street - her looks blew me away (an alt girl with tattoo's, dyed white hair and some piercings). Without thinking about it I had waved as we were walking past each other. I stood in front of her and while making eye contact I went "I just wanted to say, you're very pretty" and she went to me "oh thank you! so are you!". While it didn't go anywhere (she said she had to keep moving and I just thanked her and moved on), I remember the massive confidence boost I felt. When you do these approaches you'll get counter-evidence to any limiting beliefs you have about yourself. I'm on the spectrum and I've lived most of my life being super logical and flat and my social skills suffered as a result, but I'm trying to make up for that now.

Take care!

It wouldn't be as bad if they at least had some decent R&R. Their population is currently like an upside down pyramid; everybody's working and not going out much. I think their government are lowkey shitting themselves that not enough of their young population are mingling and having sex with each other.

Their work culture is quite draconian. They have an unwritten rule in the workplace where you're not allowed to leave before your superior does. So good luck if they choose to work overtime.