Dioxide2533

it doesn't make a ton of sense posting this because I'm talking to myself but I guess it's fun. Some context: for a long time I thought some of the enlightenment concepts from Leo where BS. Specially Love, but also others like God and related ones like Infinite Will. But recently I watched from Leo this one about coping with Nihilism, and how to fix the nihilistic/existential depression (clip), and it worked, so I recovered some of the lost faith. Basically my enlightenment had been stuck for years since I read Jed Mckenna. Those books gave me the main breakthrough although I was also meditating and took shrooms and LSD a couple of times. To me, reality was already all a dream/illusion, but just that, so really a purposeless nihilistic "grey" dream. I understood Solipsism as a consequence. I could see reality being generated in real time. And in the best moments I could also see the negativity as just another Illusion. Btw I also had realized No-Self from some visualization exercises for de-identifying from the body. Cool, but bland compared to now. So the God realization moment: I was watching some content from Leo, and reflecting on other videos at the same time and it just came to me. Obviously I can't fully put it into words but I'll try to explain it as a logical sequence: I understand there is only this field that I am experiencing -> I am it(there is nothing else) -> I am alone + Reality is clearly not random (everything is so perfectly defined, every detail) -> Someone has to be directing this movie -> That someone can only be me. This reasoning sequence has turned into a persistent awareness that I am and always have been creating reality. After that, I think I could be beginning to understand Love, because I have always loved what I have created or worked on, in the more mundane level of reality. And now as God, I love the world I am generating. Bonus mood song:

it's supposed to be difficult One could give many reasons for this but I'll go with this one: individual humans are just tools used by our genes to replicate themselves, it doesn't matter to nature if we are happy or not. We really should stop reproducing, it's unethical specially in non rich countries and families.

just curious do you have kids already? Just to give another perspective... I'm 30, also an underachiever. No money, I'm lazy, living with parents, etc. I used to be stressed about all of this. Now I'm not. I don't see life as a precious opportunity anymore. I see it more like a curse because I'm forced to fill it with stuff. But amassing experiences and possessions in our corner of this rock seems meaningless to me. Instead of that, being chill and having low expectations feels good, which seems meaningful. Idk, just another perspective.

Envy is a normal instinct, we are programmed to not like when similar people get good stuff and we don't, because then there is probably less available good stuff for us. You can't really stop it. And their success vs your success, like everything else, is 100% luck (even if you could overcome circunstances, there is no free will anyway) so you can't do anything about it. It is what it is, so your venting is justified

I think some of the devices actually work There is one that you wear and it keeps it stretched for hours, just with a little bit of tension, to make it longer. Another one is a water pump that makes some sort of vacuum, to make it thicker I think it makes sense that these work. Just like people stretch their earlobes, other cartilages or whatever that tissue is called, it probably can be stretched too.

@Mormegil That's not bad advice but this is not what I meant. What I meant is, I wish I could be happy actually scamming people. Or directly stealing. Or more on the grey area, selling overpriced stuff through manipulation, marketing, etc. If you are able to do these things happily with no remorse, it's easier to get what you want.

Being a "good man", defined with all these altruistic qualities, and stuff that is good for others... Such a weird goal to have. For example, I'm not evil in general, just by nature (like most of us) But I wish I was. Because it would make life easier.

OP I feel ya Hopefully with the fast progress of AI, we will get something better than a doll soon.

10s I played a ton of online RPG 20s I played a ton of FPS and other first person fighting (swords etc) Now I play almost nothing. It feels like a huge waste of energy and attention. And more screen time = more headaches for me. If a cool game comes out, I prefer to just quickly watch a gameplay to see what it is about.

We live to survive and reproduce because that's what we are programmed for. There is no meaning/significance to life, except for fairy tails, that we invent to try to make ourselves feel better.