CoolDreamThanks

This is how it feels to rest in the I am: https://www.facebook.com/share/r/16wxgLTjwd/?mibextid=wwXIfr I thought I needed a cat or a partner for cuddles, but nope, I have that feeling in me all the time.

Experientally, dropping desires to early doesnt work, just engages repression. What works is choosing the Miracle and then the Miracle begins to allign life according to itself, and desires lessen and lessen naturally. However, I noticed that whilst intensly studying the Course as I am doing now, before I fully grasp everything, I can’t choose the Miracle fully. Because I am still in the conceptual domain, learning how to transcend it. But in periods where I think I am done I can surrender deeper and deeper into the Miracle and desires begin to fade. So now that I am studying I shouldn’t try to force myself to let go of desires — it’s just how things are when studying concepts. When I learn it all perfectly and only need to walk in non-judgement, then desires will fade by themselves. Beautiful

Its sooo liberating knowing that all the love I desire is all here - in the I am. And the deeper I fall into the I am the deeper I am in Love. I need nothing else excepy my Self. Oneness. Love without an object, without a second. Mmmmmmmm… and the magic is that this I amness is miraculous - it even arranges the dream so that it can dissolve without effort.

Hm, I really want to stop working. How? Life situation reflects your state. To liberate myself from work will be symbolic of liberating myself from the world. I need to fully commit to God and then I will be free universally.

Yes mind preach https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGkKKJauK_c/?igsh=bmQ2OTNvdWFhYTV5

I remember it being very liberating realizing very visceraly - that I dont have to get a partrner anymore to feel this sense of home-iness -- it's inside me, with me all the time - it's so freeing! I can be alone and happiest, most love-filled in the planet. And it\'s not co-dependant, thats very guuuud

I really like cuddling, probably didn;t get enough physical touch when I was a child. However, I noticed when cuddling after a long period that it doesnt give me what it used to. I noticed that wow, I liked it before because I could relax and feel safe. Now, I can enter that gentle, safe feeling by connecting to my true Self - to the I am. Basically what Lisa is saying. It's all in me - that love.

This is so goood. Lisa explains how relationships give u what u feel is lacking and makes u addicted to them, and the more u have them the more u chase them, it's a drug.

The world was made as an attack on God. ²It symbolizes fear. ³And what is fear except love’s absence? ⁴Thus the world was meant to be a place where God could enter not, and where His Son could be apart from Him. ⁵Here was perception born, for knowledge could not cause such insane thoughts. ⁶But eyes deceive, and ears hear falsely. ⁷Now mistakes become quite possible, for certainty has gone. (ACIM, W-pII.3.2:1-7) David says there's no other teacher - neither Ramana, nor Advaita Vedanta, nothing says this world is an attack on God. Jesus is basically the one above all, the real way shower. I asked David Ai from spiri.ai if pleasures have to be let go of to remember God, and he said yes, the world is all here to cover up God's presence. And it does make sense. I don't improve truly at all. I am arrested at a particular level of spiritual development whilst I still play this game—literally playing video games, ruminating on my ex, etc. True renunciation is both in the mind and in the body.

Every prayer, goal for specific things, even a soulmate, is in cost of God..

David says a big part of self concept that has to be transcended is the idea of goals. Atonement is let go, relax, step into the present. Ego is do this do that, focus on a relationship, it will bring you happiness, focus on the world, thus making it real and God is nowhere to be found. Choose one - transcendental Now, the abstract realm of God or specifics of the ego - the world. It's interesting - renouncation has to be in the mind and in the world. You can be a renunciate in the world but not in ther mind and then none of it matters.

Jesus says to remember God you have to stop activating the past and the future. It will not serve in Atonement. I've been doing this mistake these days. Ruminating on ex romance is soo tasty. It's a bit painful, ruins peace, the mind loses its innocence, tranquility, but there's also pleasure there. Anyway, in a final analysis it's insane and hurts me. Stops me from the true Purpose. Best to let it all go. It's a choice, no one is doing past or future to me, I choose to ruminate on it.

So the “no” feeling - the pain in the chest area is 100% always right. It’s like a mini super power that tells me when I’m doing something wrong, should stop and either not do it or reconsider what I’m doing wrong and change it.

https://miracleshome.org/publications/withdrawing_mind/withdrawing_the_mind_from_the_world_01.htm So that's why there's really no conflict in my life anymore - because i accepted that it's my dream, so perception is healed and all is well and smooth. For the most part i guess.

https://miracleshome.org/publications/mind_is_one.htm ‘Multiple egos’ is only a metaphor, regardless of the many forms. ‘Brother’ is a metaphor too. There is really only one mind, and it is mine! I am healed, all ‘minds’ are healed, since there is but ONE MIND! God has One Son If the Sonship is one, it is one in all respects. Oneness cannot be divided. (T.10.IV.3.3) God’s Will is that His Son be one, and united with Him in His Oneness. (T.11.I.11.8) Remember always that mind is one, and cause is one. (T.14.III.8.5)

Romantic love just might be the most addictive drug I’ve taken. It feels like you lose so much when you lose her. I think I tried to fill that void she left with drugs and they never really fill it. I would always choose to spend time with her instead of any drug available. But what I’m really suffering is not her absence, as Peter would point out. I am suffering the present condition where I reminisce of her absence. If I simply stay in the now there is no suffering, I can dispel the misery completly. But it also feels like even losing that misery is losing a part of me. I’m attached to feeling heartbroken over her so much that it became a part of who I am. It feels good to comiserate with sad music. But I can stop it immediately, in an instant. Let me do just that.

I wonder if there can be romantic love without heartbreak. Happy forever after, and then awakening from the dream. I would assume ACIM would say that Spirit can use a romantic relationship for the purpose of unity and awakening instead of falling asleep and separating. I enjoy these days of aloneness, but I also wish I would have someone to spend my days with. I could see a romantic relationship as an intermediary commitment that aids in letting go of some aspects of the world whilst keeping one still in place, but it's like one wipes out many others, and then only that one has to be let go of in the end. Maybe. Or maybe that's it. I will never have anyone and from now until eternity I just have to let it all go and meditate alone at home. I don't really have any choice in this matter, there either is someone or there isn't. In terms of having fun in the world there really isn't anything that I still want besides a romantic relationship. Is that the final desire to let go of? Would it entangle me deeper into the dream? Or would it flower into awakening?

That video from xtreme Buddha about why being a saviour or a teacher is so bad was very helpful. When you enter a position of the saviour or a teacher you are putting down the other person in the position of the victim, of someone who needs help an dpitty, who is lower than you, and that is why you alienate them and why they resist those ideas. I have a friend who gives me spiritual advice although he's a teacher and it just feels icky, like he's above me and trying to teach me. But that's just a mirror to me, I used to do that and that's just so wrong. So life does work like a mirror, where if you are doing something wrong it gets reflected back and you see why that's wrong. You should always be on equal footing with others, like 2 friends talking. And it feels best to bet in such a relationship instead of a higher and lower, teacher and student, victim and saviour. Thta's the best type of a relationship, there's no conflict, no one is put down, just a nice connection.

The Methuna Sutta [The Discourse on Coupling (sexual intercourse)] is a definitive statement on the early Buddhist conception of the “holy life” (brahmacariya). Although brahmacariya is often translated as “celibacy,” this is only one aspect of the holy life. Central as celibacy may be to the holy life, there are other even more vital aspects, and these are listed in the sutta as the abstaining from these 7 “bonds of sexuality” (methuna-saṁyoga): (1) enjoying physical contact; (2) socializing (especially for the sake of entertainment); (3) lusting after the physical form; (4) distracted by pleasurable sounds; (5) remembering delighting in frivolities with others; (6) approving of others indulging in physical pleasures; and (7) living the holy life for the sake of going to heaven. These 7 “bonds of sexuality” are so called because they still bind us to thinking about sexuality and sense-pleasures even though externally there is a façade of sexual abstinence and austerity. - The Discourse on Coupling (Anguttara Nikaya 7.47/4:54-56) 1( In the city of Sāvatthī.) The brahmachari [celibate practitioner] 1.2 The brahmin Jāṇussoṇī approached the Blessed One and exchanged greetings with him. When this courteous and friendly exchange was concluded, the brahmin Jāṇussoṇī sat down at one side. Sitting thus at one side, the brahmin Jāṇūssoṇī said this to the Blessed One: “Does the Blessed One profess to be a brahmachari (brahmacārī)?“ - 1.3 “Brahmin, if one speaking rightly were to say of anyone, thus: ‘He lives the perfect and pure brahmachari life, unbroken, untorn [consistent], unmixed [not altering the rules], spotless, he, brahmin, would be speaking rightly of me. For, I, brahmin, live the perfect and pure brahmachari life, unbroken, untorn [consistent], unmixed [not altering the rules], spotless.” - 1.4 “But, master Gotama, what is the break, the tear, the mottle, the blotch of the holy life [brahma-charya]?” - The seven faults of the false brahmachari 2 (1) Here, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a total brahmachari. For, he does not indulge in coupling [in sexual intercourse] with women. But he consents to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women.He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling. He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! - 3 (2) Furthermore, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a total brahmachari. Nor does he indulge in coupling with women. Nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women. But he jokes with women, plays with them, jests with them. He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling. He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! - 4 (3) Furthermore, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a complete brahmachari. For, he does not indulge in coupling with women. Nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women, too. Nor does he joke, play or jest with women. But he gazes and looks on eye to eye at women. He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling ..He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! - 5 (4) Furthermore, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a complete brahma-chari. For, he does not indulge in coupling with women. Nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women, too. Nor does he joke, play or jest with women. Nor does he gaze or look on eye to eye at women. But he listens to the sounds of women through a wall or through a fence as they laugh, or talk, or sing or weep. He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling. He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! - 6 (5) Furthermore, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a complete brahma-chari. For, he does not indulge in coupling with women. Nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women, too. Nor does he joke, play or jest with women. Nor does he gaze or look on eye to eye at women. Nor does he listen to the sounds of women through a wall or through a fence as they laugh, or talk, or sing or weep. But he recollects his erstwhile laughing and chatting and playing with women.He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling. He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! - 7 (6) Furthermore, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a complete brahma-chari. For, he does not indulge in coupling with women. Nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women, too. Nor does he joke, play or jest with women. Nor does he gaze or look on eye to eye at women. Nor does he listen to the sounds of women through a wall or through a fence as they laugh, or talk, or sing or weep. Nor does he recollect the previous laughing and chatting and playing with women. But he sees a householder or the son of a householder being entertained, showered and serviced with the cords of sensual-pleasures. He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling. He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! - 8 (7) Furthermore, brahmin, a certain ascetic or brahmin, declares himself to be a complete brahma-chari. For, he does not indulge in coupling with women. Nor does he consent to being rubbed, massaged, bathed, and kneaded by women, too. Nor does he joke, play or jest with women. Nor does he gaze or look on eye to eye at women. Nor does he listen to the sounds of women through a wall or through a fence as they laugh, or talk, or sing or weep. Nor does he recollect the previous laughing and chatting and playing with women. Nor does he see a householder or the son of a householder being entertained, showered and serviced with the cords of sense-pleasures. But he lives the holy life aspiring for rebirth in one of the groups of devas, thinking, ‘By this rule or vow or austerity or holy life, I shall become a deva or one amongst them.’He relishes it, longs for it, and savours it. This, brahmin, is a break, and a tear, and a mottle, and a blotch of the holy life. - 9 This, brahmin, is called one who leads the impure holy life, who is devoted to the indulgence of coupling. He is not freed from birth, decay-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, physical pain, mental pain: he is not freed from suffering, I say! The Buddha has overcome all bondage - 10 And as along as I noticed that one or other of these seven bonds of sexuality unabandoned in me, to that extent, brahmin, I did not claim to be supremely awakened in the peerless full self-awakening in this world with its gods, with its Māra, with its Brahmā, this generation with its recluses and brahmins, its rulers and people. - 11 But, brahmin, when I did not notice any of these seven bonds of sexuality unabandoned in me, to that extent, brahmin, I have claimed to be supremely awakened in the peerless full self-awakening in this world with its gods, with its Māra, with its Brahmā, this generation with its recluses and brahmins, its rulers and people. - 12 And the knowledge and vision arose in me, ‘Unshakable is the liberation of mind. This is my last birth. There is no more rebirth here’.” Jāṇussoṇī takes refuge 13 When this was spoken, the brahmin Jāṇussoṇī said this to the Blessed One: “Excellent, Master Gotama! Excellent! Master Gotama! Just as if one were to place upright what had been overturned, were to reveal what was hidden, were to show the way to one who was lost, or were to hold up a lamp in the dark so that those with eyes could see forms, in the same way, in numerous ways, has the Dharma been made clear by master Gotama. “I go to master Gotama for refuge, to the Dharma, and to the community of monks. May master Gotama remember us as lay followers who have gone for refuge, from this day forth, for the rest of my life. - (translated by Piya Tan)

One thing that could be happening, why I'm not getting a soulmate or more money, is that life is trying to wean me off from my attachments to a soulmate and to money. So life is giving me enough to survive, but not more, so that I would get entangled once again into the dream. So even though I consciously desire a relationship, spirit perhaps knows better, and I'm sort of on a relationship and money diet, so that I would be able to let go of that concept forever and awaken.

I think I had an educational dream tonight. I saw how an impatient man was darting around in traffic. And then, when he stood still, he saw another person darting around in traffic. And he judged him. He was angry at him. And I think I saw very clearly in the dream how that was how life was teaching him that he is doing something wrong. That was sort of his karma. Where if you are doing something wrong, you are annoying someone, you will experience that thing coming back to you. Because you have to learn not to do it. Because it's harmful to the whole and to you. So that's karma, I think. Or the mirroring effect thought in ACIM. Healing through relationships.

Hm so I wonder if its true that in Buddhism the finality is cessation aka Nothingness, thus everything is impermanent and there is no ground, no Nirvana even, or Nirvana is Samsara as Frank puts it. When Jesus says that there is Heaven and the creations of light are real and that infinite perfect heaven of God is the finality, and you enter it when you desire it wholly. hmm

Hm it doez seemm to make sense that desire is the main thing. It u want the world i will have it. If not then not more. Papajo says the same thing.

Hm, yes I do do loving kindness, relaxation meditation naturally - I imagine having. Beautiful time with. Beautiful girl and that puts me into a state of relaxed loving kindness. Still not sure if I should meditate hardcore to get into those infinite states or if that’s not right.

I wonder if people like Frank Yang have locked in those states of infinity, those enlightened states, or are they just peak experiences. Because I've used psychedelics, I've had those peak experiences, well I combined them with meditation, and they came and they went away. So I wonder if now I have, because I had those experiences, I have the intellectual understanding of what he is talking about, but I'm not experiencing that moment by moment, because it was just a peak experience. I think I need to talk to Frank Yang and ask him if that's the case, if he's actually in those states of like infinity all the time. Because if he is, that's what I need to do, that's how I see enlightenment. I do feel enlightened when I'm infinite, but now I feel like I've had many experiences, but I reverted back to this. It's not like I've never meditated or had any experience, I do feel a bit more spacious, but I'm nowhere close to those states of infinity. So I probably, like if I had to guess, I'm like 90% sure that I have to now do a lot of meditation and actually enter those states of enlightenment, so I wouldn't have to reincarnate. I don't think I'm done. I think I'm intellectually maybe okay, conceptually, but in terms of my state, I need to change it, I think. Because I know that the foundational thing I am and what reality is, is nothingness. Because if it wasn't nothingness, it couldn't change and morph into all of these other states and things. But I doubt that after this samsara experience I just go back to nothing. I would be more so inclined to believe that when you get liberated, you go into this formless, infinite nirvana. But you have to get there while incarnated, so that when you die, you just fully immerse yourself there. But yes, I don't think that the goal is nothingness, like that cessation. The goal is infinity.