Motar

3rd trip update: Oh my god, 2 months wont be enough to get through all this.

Exactly, from stage orange materialistic/scientific perspective, it doesn't make much sense, but since the current science understand probably 1-2% of reality, it isn't very smart to rely on it for the stuff like this. It could have literally been anything, maybe it was a vision of my future that I've experienced in my dream, maybe I was inhabiting another person's body, maybe it was me in a parallel universe, there are endless possibilities, all that I know is that it felt more real than anything before. Thanks, I will for sure. I took the 2nd dose, because I have implemanted and integrated everything from the first trip, so I was ready to do it again. This + my intuition telling me to go in for the 2nd time. I'm actually going in for the 3rd time today, so see ya again in a month with another huge post hahahahah. (Same reasons as why I took the 2nd one) 3. I'm perfectly fine with that, whatever reality chooses to do I have no problems with it, even if all my growth was taken from me tomorrow, I'm okay with that. I don't have any emotional baggage and 0 negative thoughts for almost a year and I'm very emotionally stable. I made sure to clear all this stuff up before I went in for the first time.

Thanks for your thoughts, even better then. There is a long road ahead and Im really excited for it. I also dont know how would this be possible, but again we still dont know a lot of things about this reality, so literally anything is possible, I know for sure that it didnt feel anything like lsd, like not even close, this was infinitely times more bigger/stronger. As I've said, I cant recall the experience now, I could only recall it for like 5ish minutes after waking up, now I can remember me remembering the experience not the actual experience, which is kinda sad in a way since I wanted to compare it to actual 5meo experience once I do it. But all of those things that I've listed, I truly felt them and it wasnt similar to anything I have previously experienced.

Yeah, I'm starting to become aware of how powerful these things really are... When I'm holding a tab of LSD I literally feel like I'm holding some alien technology from the future, it's so mind blowing what this stuff can do. Because of this and because of my sensitivity I'm beyond cautious when it comes to using them, as you've said the trip can end up going both ways, so I only plan on using these powerful things in a most responsible way. I've read your trip and it sounded amazing! I wish you all the luck and love for all you future trips Amazing stuff! I hope that one day I can also experience this non-dual/god-realization stuff that you guys are talking about, really sounds like the peak of human experience. Thanks! I actually forgot to write this one down, one of the first "syncronicical"(if thats even a word) things that I've noticed around 12h after the trip was this. I was laying in my bed and I just noticed how on the other side of the room this bag's sides were forming a heart which was really cool. I agree with @Gregory1. While I don't know how god realization feels like, I assume it transcends every model/theory/concept, but once you come down into your human form, you still need a way to navigate this reality, so in a way it can be very helpful. It also helps me determine where I am and where I am going, so if you use it in this way it can surely help you in your every day life. @Godishere If you decide to look into it, I would recommend you check out amazing series that @Leo Gura made, while as I've said it might be useless in your non-dual state, it can help you a lot in your every day life for sure. Here is the series -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3hNosyyXRA&list=PLFfM65xLnO-G2ytmWV1A6WBNrvLte92kN Also here is the missing stage turquoise episode that got copyright striked -> Hahahah now as I've pasted this, I noticed that my profile picture is similar to this thumbnail (I literally randomly picked this image when I created the account, I think I googled "infinity spiral" or smth like that). Universe has a really awesome way of speaking to you.

Before everything, I want to thank Leo for all the work he has been doing over the past eight years, his content has literally transformed almost every area of my life, and I’m grateful for the stuff he has been consistently putting out. This will be quite a long post covering only 10% of the things that happened, but I want to keep it concise without leaving any important details. The post’s main topic is my first LSD trip experience and the life changes that followed shortly after. And if you like deep stories, you will definitely love this one. As we go on the post should get more and more interesting the more you read. For clarification, I’m 21 years old right now. IMPORTANT: I wrote this report originally on Saturday, Aug 28th, so some dates might be out of sync. I haven’t made a post until today, because my account wasn’t approved on the forum, but it is even better this way because I have discovered some new stuff in the days that followed after. I wrote all the mental effects that stayed after the trip down below and if some effects got worn off or disappeared, I will mention it. So this all started 2 years ago when I stumbled upon one of Leo’s videos that covered the topic of psychedelics. I don’t really remember which video it was, but it really captured my attention. Before this, I wasn’t really aware of psychedelics, I heard the term super rarely and I didn’t even know what it is. Long story short, things like alcohol, cigarettes, vaping, weed, etc. never really caught my attention and I wasn’t really interested in them. However, when I discovered psychedelics the more I researched the more I was drawn to them and I had a weird feeling of knowing that I will and that I need to take them one day similar to the feeling of your “calling” or your “life purpose”. So after 2 years of research, preparation, mental and psychological development, I knew I was ready for my first trip. I took 100µg of LSD (one sticker) last week (Aug 18th) and the things that happened after are literally something I couldn’t have ever imagined. I would call this the 2nd most important day of my life, after the day that I found my purpose. I took it with a trusted friend, in a safe and calm environment without any harmful object in close proximity. We prepared Mentally by having positive talks and by watching cartoons before the effects started to kick in. And there was me waiting for effects to kick in laying on the sofa not even knowing what’s to come. After 45-60mins I realized that some of the lines on the floor and ceiling started to get wavy. Then after 1-2 hours, some hardcore visuals started to kick in, I saw numbers/letters/symbols on the floor that were changing into one another and circling and constantly. I won’t cover much of the visuals since they are like the least interesting thing that happened here, but here are some of the biggest ones: 1. I had a laptop and I could literally see the energy flowing out of it 2. I’ve seen some of the patterns on the floor transform into 3D objects 3. When I looked at my abs I could literally see the fat % getting visibly lower and the abs becoming much more defined 4. When I looked at my hand I could see all kinds of letters and numbers The peak lasted for around 3ish hours and then it started to come down. At this peak, I got so many insights, but I didn’t want to write them down since I wanted to just experience this because it was my first time. It felt like I was bombarded with insights every second, if I wanted I could focus on a specific insight and go more deeply into it, but as soon as I let it go more and more just keep coming in. Then around 8 hours after taking it I decided to go to sleep, but then I got an idea that I could use a hot bath (In a responsible way, water was filled just enough for my body to be in the water with my head not being able to go under the water) When I entered the bath I had around 60% in trip strength (considering that peak was 100%). But every 5 minutes I just felt like this % was going up by 10% and after like 1 hour I literally surpassed the peak that I had, I don’t know if this is normal, but I felt like the visual trips were harder and I was getting bombarded by the insights even more. Then at like 120-130% I decided to leave since I was scared that it might get out of hand. And btw if anyone is interested, my setup was hot water, slow stream of water flowing in, rgb fade lights and trip music playlist (https://youtu.be/Bd9JsBhzlbM) Then after the effects started to come down again, I decided to go for a walk and it was literally the best walk of my life. Our house was in a little village and I was walking around the village just enjoying the present moment. Here the trip strength was at around 60% again. (Also we were at a vacation house, idk if I mentioned it) After I came back home I started to go more deeply into all the insights that I’ve written down (I was written down the insights I got while I was in a bath). And oh boy, was it super easy to just understand things, I could literally see the things just as they are not as my ego wants it to see, it’s like every insight was the absolute truth. But not always, sometimes I did feel like my ego started to delude the insight to make it fit its own biases and world views but this was like 2-3% of the total amount of insights. Now we get into some interesting stuff. Then at around 11 am, which was 12 hours after I took the trip (I took it at 11 pm the night before), I was wondering why the effects haven’t fully stopped, because in my research the standard trip was supposed to last 8-12 hours and here I was at like 50% of my peak after 12 hours, so I thought it was just an after-effect or something like that. Then after like 6 more hours (18 hours after taking the trip) I was at like 35% and I could still see the visual trips. But I let it slide again. And at 10pm I was at around 10-15% of the peak. Visuals stopped unless I focused super hard for 30s+, but the insights that were coming to my mind just kept coming. And at around 10:57pm, I went to the toilet at a bar (at this moment I was walking on a beach with my friends) and after I was done with peeing, I looked at a clock at it was literally 24 hours after I took the trip and I literally felt like the effects dropped by 50% here, so I was at around 7-10%. (Note that these percentages are super subjective, I'm just using them to demonstrate you where I was at effects-wise) (Also note that here I didn’t sleep for around 36 hours at this moment, I haven’t slept the night, so the last time I woke up was around 11am on the day I took the trip / yesterday) At around 1am I finally went to sleep and I want to mention that I didn’t feel sleepy at all until now, I don’t know if it’s because of the effects or something else. The next morning when I woke up (at around 11am 36 hours after I took LSD), the first few seconds after waking up from a dream I could see mini visual trips on the walls but they disappeared shortly after. Then, I also had a feeling like I was on a big boat with waves in an open sea (if you have ever been on a boat you know this feeling), basically, as you are walking you are just getting pushed a little left and then a little to the right with every step. It’s important to mention that I felt this effect super hard when I was at my peak, but now it was at like 5-10% compared to the peak. Then when I looked at my keyboard on my phone, between all the little boxes that letters are put in, I could see little greenish/cyanish circles. Those are the major effects that stayed here after the trip, but they are not even close to what I'm going to describe next. First, my mom noticed that my posture was much much better, so I was like oh cool. And I also noticed that my thinking patterns from the trip stayed, but at a smaller level. For example, you know how I talked about getting bombarded with insights every second, if I had counted I probably had like 300-500+(maybe even 1,000) insights in the first 12 hours. However now, I still get them, but not constantly. This first day I got maybe like 30-40 “aha” moments in a whole day. Then as the days went by, the boat effect and circle keyboard effects got lower and lower. The boat effect dropped completely after like 7 days and visual circles are still here, however much less intense and if I don’t pay attention to them they are not here, however, if I focus on “circles circles” I can see them. And for the insights, right now after 10 days I’m at like 10-15 “aha moments” per day. (Since this was written 10 days ago, right now its 20 days from the trip and these “aha moment” insights are even lower now, around 1-3 per day, but I still get them) Now we are getting at the best part of this post. Here are all the thinking ways, patterns/mindsets/world views that stayed. 1. I can explain concepts super easily to other people - Whenever I watched Leo’s videos I was fascinated by how he can explain such complex things in a simple way. And now after this trip, I’m still not near Leo in the way I can explain things, but the improvement literally went up from level 5 to level 100, and I’m not even kidding, it was that big. (Leo is at level 1000) 2. Better posture - My posture has literally never been better and I’ve realized that how you walk and stand is literally all in your head and how you view yourself. I will get more in detail about this later. 3. Creative thinking - My creativity has also received a super high boost, before I was a more hustle/logical type of guy, but now I feel like I can be both super creative and super hustle guy. 4. Focus and creativity (Convergent and Divergent thinking) - This is like a double-edged sword, while creativity is helpful, now I feel like it can also distract me - So in one way I can be much more creative and come up with new things, but also I can get into the focus flow mode much more easily. I’ve been practicing this for the past few days on my business and it is becoming easier and easier to switch between these different modes - If I want to extract some ideas and I want to see some things from different angles (thinking outside of the box) I can “tell” my mind, go into creative mode take ideas that we can implement - Once I get those ideas, I go into the focus flow mode to implement them much more easily and I feel like I can defend myself against any distractions (phone, social media, yt, video games all the standard bs) with ease - So I got a boost in both focus work mode and in creativity mode, however I’ve seen that sometimes this creative mode can distract me from focus mode more than before (probably because I wasn’t as creative before) 5. Everything feels more real - The food I taste, the smells I smell, the music I hear. I feel like all these senses literally got leveled up to a new level. Similarly how I felt everything much more on my peak(lvl 100), now my baseline for senses has leveled up as well. (from lvl 5 to lvl 10) 6. Confidence - Huuuh, this is like the biggest one. I was already super confident before, but this new level is unexplainable in words. I wouldn’t say that I’m overconfident, but just at the right level where I should be at my stage of development in every area of my life. 7. Visuals when meditating (HPPD or normal?) - My meditation sessions have literally never been better after the trip, I feel like I’m progressing much faster now - But also another interesting thing happens now, if I do a meditation where I focus on an object after like 2-4 minutes of intense focus I can literally see the reality around the object melting and starting to be wavy - Now my question is. Is this normal, or are these potential symptoms of HPPD? I still haven’t done much research into HPPD, so I don’t really know. But I know that its a disorder that causes hallucinations after you had taken a psychedelic * Under all these changes, I wrote a deep description of the meditation that I did this morning, which was also super interesting. 8. Bombardment of insights + mini visuals after I wake up - Now right after I wake up, especially if I wake up from a dream. For a few seconds, I feel like I’m getting insights every second similar to the experience at my peak. And along with that, I also see small visual effects on my wall right after I wake up for a few seconds that disappear after a few seconds. - Also, one more thing, after I woke up 2 days ago I closed my eyes and I had small closed eye trips as well, which was kinda interesting but it also didn’t last for a long time (around 15-30secs) * Last time I managed to do this was 7 days ago (from today), so this one might have fully disappeared 9. If I want to explore a subject it’s super easy - If I want to introspect or if I want to explore any subject now after the trip, it is super super easy and I can get to the truth of things really fast. - For example, if I wonder “why is this like this/why am I thinking like this/why am I doing this”, I can get the truth almost effortlessly while before it was much much harder when I compare it to this way of thinking - And also I want to mention, that somehow when I explore a certain subject and I get some sort of a conclusion, this conclusion seems much more real and true than when I was drawing conclusions before the trip - For example, now if I want to improve some aspect of the business I just know what to do in a few minutes, it’s very hard to explain but now it just seems as the right answers almost instantly come to me 10. I can finally dance - Before I was thinking of dancing in a logical way, like “what move should I do now, what comes next etc…” of course this is so wrong and no wonder it never worked - However, now I can feel the music much better and just dance as the music flows 11. Almost instant flow state - I will assume that you already know what the flow state is - It seems that at everything I do, I can get to this flow state almost instantly (in literally 1 minute), whether it’s creative thinking, working on something, driving, cooking, talking to someone etc. Basically, any task that requires you to focus on it, I can get into that flow/focus mode almost instantly and be completely present at whatever I’m doing 12. I see the things as they are, not as I want them to be - I can see that my biases are affecting me way less when I want to understand things - I can understand world views that I feel are more true now compared to the feeling I had towards them before the trip and that is because my ego blindsided and deluded me into thinking something that I wanted to be right, not what was actually right 13. Got shifted more to left on the political compass - Before I was like 75/25 conservative, I still am in favor of conservatism, but now it’s like 60/40 and I also feel like the more time passes the more I’m leaning to the left side 14. Connection with people -When I talk to people, I can talk to them much more easily which of course leads to a deeper connection - So I feel much more connected on an individual level, but also on a cultural level, I can see similarities between me and other people more easily - I can also understand other people’s points of view with ease 15. Care for others - I’ve become much more selfless and caring towards other people compared to before - I feel like I want to help others without needing anything from them, I just want to help 16. A better leader - Since I’m running a business with a team of 15 people, I always had some leadership qualities in me - However, now I feel like I can lead the whole team and the company much better and more easily - I know what I need to say in order to inspire others and motivate them so we can achieve a certain goal - I also see much more clearly the things we need to do in order to achieve our next goal, I also knew this earlier, but now its much much more clear now 17. Accessing all the knowledge that I have - Now I can much more easily access all the knowledge I have gained from the past few years - Before, I always felt like I learned something and I would forget like 95% of the stuff that I learned, but now I can finally start to access most of the things that I have learned super easily which helps me with connecting many different subjects and understand some topics even more in-depth 18. Present and mindful - I feel much much much more present at anything I do, I think this probably correlates with the flow state in some way - And now I can fully enjoy the present moment without needing any external inputs 19. Flow with the universe - Although I had this feeling before, now its much stronger and it seems that everything I do is just what I needed to do - There is no more right things or bad things that happened to me, there are only things that needed to happen to me because that’s what the universe wanted - Now it seems like all the things fall just in the right place at the perfect moment - Also here is an example of me not being approved on this forum for 10 days which allowed me to make this post even better. And it also lead me to a thought train that gave me an idea to do a certain meditation which I will mention down below. 20. Comfort zone - This is one of the biggest ones - I would say that before the trip, I was way above average when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone, but now it is a whole new level - Now I feel like I can literally do anything uncomfortable, I can get into any uncharted territory as long as it’s not super life-threatening - Before, socializing was my biggest obstacle that I wanted to fix since I was very introverted and had social anxeity, however now I feel 0 social anxiety literally 0 and I could talk to anyone about anything, which leads me to 2 last and biggest changes that happened 21. Tyler Durden - If you’ve seen Fight Club, you know who Tyler Durden is - Basically, a guy that give absolutely no fucks about anything and what anyone thinks - And that’s exactly how I feel right now, I do not give a 1% fuck what anyone thinks of me, I’m just me, and you can either accept it or leave - While I do feel like I can do anything now without 1% of shame, as I’ve stated I’m feeling much more selfless, so I don’t want to go into the extremes where it might hurt other people or simply make them uncomfortable (Tyler being that extreme) - So to put it in short, I absolutely do not care what anyone thinks, but again I will treat them with respect and won’t make them uncomfortable 22. THE FINAL - LETTING GO - Out of everything, this is the biggest one - After all these fucking years, I can finally be myself. Let me explain. - So before the trip, whenever I was talking with someone I felt like I was not me like my ego was putting on a mask that was a picture of how I wanted other people to perceive me, and now I see how wrong this was - I introspected even more and realized that I was only 100% real when I was completely alone by myself (think when you are home alone and you are dancing, singing doing guffy shit, but if you knew someone was looking at you, you wouldn’t do that because you are afraid of judgment) - Also, another time I felt like “me” was whenever I talked to my best friend, but again it wasnt 100% (it was like 95%, because in some cases I didnt want to say some things that were on my mind because of the fear of judgement) - In all other social situations, when I look back at it now, it felt like I was someone who I was not because I wanted other people to think that that fake me was me, because I was afraid of them judging my real me - This combined with a fake identity that was put into my subconscious over the years with stuff that came from school like being told to stay quiet if you talked with a friend, getting punished for being excited, being punished for talking when you are “not suppose to”, being punished for socializing when you are “not supposed to”, I feel like all these things were planted deep into my subconscious and reprogramed my mind to think that talking=bad thing, because if you talk you get punished - And now after the trip, I feel like I’m finally free and I’m finally be REAL ME not FAKE ME, but REAL FUCKING ME all the fucking time, 24/7, at home, at a bar, on the street, while driving, while talking to a friend, while talking to my team I’M FINALLY ME - This is the thing that literally unlocked all my social skills and now I feel like I can talk with anyone for literally hours and hours, while before I was “afraid” of a 10-minute conversation These are all the changes that happened after the trip which are super interesting and I could have never imagined the changes would be this big, I would love to hear some of your thoughts on all these. Today I also did a 1h meditation, where I focused on a single object without moving at all (only a finger when I turned on my voice recorder to record the things that are happening). If you’ve read the post completely you have seen that I mentioned some visual effects in my meditation sessions, so I wanted to explore this more deeply and see what happens. So let me tell you what happened in my meditation session this morning. -This is the sight that I was looking at https://prnt.sc/1rgmi8s (Dog wasn’t there at the time). I will keep the effects that happened in bullet points. - I focused on the little light which was on the left side of the knob of the furniture (arrow is pointing at it) -The first thing that happened is that the circle on which the knob is placed completely connected, the middle line disappeared https://prnt.sc/1rgmoei (After 1 minute) - Now after 3-5 minutes the circle vanished and merged with the black background of the furniture, while the 3 little lights where the sun was shining on remained (https://prnt.sc/1rgn167) - After 5-10 minutes, all the walls and floor started to get wavy - Then after 15 minutes, I wanted to switch to a closed eye meditation because I wanted to observe my thoughts now - If I wanted to focus on my breath it was super simple as if the monkey mind almost wasn’t there at all, thoughts were coming super slow compared to the usual state - Now I opened my eyes again and wanted to progress on the visual stuff, first it seemed like all the visuals that I progressed to dropped, but I got to the same place again super fast (within 1 minute) - Now I focused on the little light even more and after some time it also disappeared and merged with the background - Then at around 30 minutes, the whole wall and the floor took the color of the furniture and merged into one object, however as soon as I let go of my focus the effect would instantly disappear, but if I start to focus again after some time it would merge into a single object with the same color again - Then I decided to do a closed eye mediation again and now it felt like I had a super an altered state of consciousness, nowhere near the normal state and this is the first time I felt like this while meditating, although I had long meditation sessions in the past, I’ve never felt even similar to this - Then I opened my eyes again and focused on the light, but now the circle in the middle had a larger circle around it https://prnt.sc/1rgnt7q -And within this larger circle I could see the interchanging colors, changing in a similar pattern to this - - The last thing that happened is that I could decide in which direction I wanted the background to be wavy. For example, I was saying “right right” in my mind and - the wave effect started to go to the right, if I said “left left” it went to the left and so on - This is where I ended the meditation. Now back to the general trip report. It really seems like I got all of the things I needed in order to take my life to the next level and advance even further. The main thing I feel is that all my baseline levels in every field got leveled up anyhere between 10% - 2500% (25x) depending on the field and this is the thing that literally keeps blowing my mind as more time passes, I literally cannot believe that something like this is possible from a little 5mm sticker, super crazy. Also, another thing is that I compared my insights, results and visual trips with my friends and I can see that it is much much more than what they got from the same dose. Although they are taking it more recreationally and for fun. While I take it for 99% growth and 1% fun (I have 1% fun in there because the fun will make the growth more enjoyable, so the overall growth will be even bigger) My theories on why it was a harder than a usual trip are: 1. It was the first time 2. I didn’t sleep at all the night I took LSD 3. The bath boosted the trip to another level However I don’t feel like any of these are true, I think it’s something deeper than that, hopefully, I will get some insight about this in the future. What I was feeling as a truest theory is me having some sort of “potential” for stronger trips, but I also feel like my ego wants to feel “special” so this is definitely something that I will explore more in the future in order to find what is the actual truth. I hope some people that have a lot of experience with psychedelics read this post and tell me their thoughts. Is this normal/average or something beyond average. If it is a beyond average trip, what exactly caused it to be beyond average? And the HPPD thing as well, I can see the visuals in 3 scenarios 1. The visual circles on my phone keyboard that I mentioned in the beginning 2. Right after I wake up, short visuals on my wall or a short closed eye trip (15-30s) (This hasnt happened for 7 days now) 3. Meditation having the visual effects that arent even 1% close to what I had before. (Well actually I had no visuals in my meditation sessions before) I’m finally done and I feel like I only scratched the surface of everything that has happened, but I think that I covered most of the important information and insights that I got from this experience. My 4 main questions are: 1. Was this an unusual LSD trip? 2. If yes, what caused it to be unusual? 3. Should some of those after effects last for 10-15 days? (Like the mini trips after I woke up, or the boat feeling) 4. Do I have a HPPD? (I assumed this from having those unusual things that happened in my meditation sessions that didn't happen before and the lasting after effects of LSD) I just want to thank Leo once again for introducing me to the best experience of my life and literally changing my life again but at a much deeper level this time. I feel as if this amount of growth would equate to around 2,000-3,000 hours of intense self-development. Because I’ve grown the same amount if not more from this trip than from my last 2.5 years of self-development journey.

Holy, this sounds so intense. What do you think would happen if you took for example 100mg of 5MeO or some super extreme dose? What is even the highest recorded dose that someone has taken?

Thank you! Yeah, I'm so grateful that I have discovered this at this age, since it seems like it is literally the perfect time, not too late, but again not too early. For sure, I'm doing a 50ug within a month and I will write a report again here. Really interested how will this trip look compared to the 100ug one.

Thank you for your thoughts. Yeah, I'm definitely lowering my doses in the future and starting with a threshold dose whenever I'm trying out a new psychedelic. Huh, Im glad to hear that these are the positive after effects, rather than negative. Really excited to see whats to come in the future, since this really changed my perspective on a ton of things, seems like there is a whole new world to explore.

*Edit: Added extra questions at the bottom.