Calixtus

Here is my life story condensed: I have had it, I will tell the Truth After many years of experience, I know the Truth, and it is dark. A dark, dark place. I was bullied throughout my years in school, except at some level in Junior College. Right from kindergarten, Primary School and Secondary School. But I was perfect. I had no real flaws, no real failings or falls. My struggles won me strength, and around an early age that I can't remember, I walked the straight and narrow spiritual path. And from my efforts, I won me Enlightenment. It was perfect, I could strongly declare it perfect then. It was partly because I met a Guru at 17. My friend told me about him, and said very positive things about him, mainly that "you should meet him", and that it will be an "eye-opener". I did, and when he first met me in school, he looked astounded, brought me aside, and asked me to ask him anything about spirituality or religion. I asked him later why he had this look on his face when he met me. He said "sometimes I meet someone that my Lord favours". So we talked, and I finally asked him to teach me the secrets of life. He said he could, but it will cost me. As we talked however, I managed to convince him to teach it to me for free. He brought me to a book store, and showed me a book on Islam to read, saying we need "cannot be building castles in the sky". So I read it, two pages, and failed at fulfilling my promise. At the start of the next year, he came online on MSN again, and told me this "go to army first and learn to be a man boy, then come to me!" This really affected me, because here was someone so keen on helping me, and here I was doing nothing. So it went on, and he messaged me on MSN around the March holidays. He said, "How's things with you?" I said I had a dream where he gained a divine name. "He said, congratulations, you have some levels." Then I asked, "What is God?", for which he replied, "This is not what a true person will say." So he then taught me a meditation, for which I did twice. According to a Spiritualist, when I did that meditation, I attracted blood demons to inject their blood into me, because there was a spiritual clash when I did the meditation at night, which I did with verbalising a lot of vibrations with my mouth, repeating the verse, "Om". Sometime after, he asked me how I felt, if there were any changes. I couldn't really tell, because it was very subtle, for which he said again, "Looks like you still got a long way to go." Within a span of one month though, I came to feel an extremely high energy within me. It was pure, purity, if I was to describe or label it, a very strong surge of pure energy. Then sometime after, after some serious investigation into the nature of Life, I awakened my Kundalini. The singular most powerful moment in my life. At that point, I was happy, supremely happy. I had everything I ever wanted, and was satisfied. My only fear and issue is if I couldn't bring my enlightenment with me to after my exams, for which I was aiming for straight A's. Because I could see my doom coming, because I was getting a bit too complicated. I asked the Guru, is there anything I should know, he said "Nope." I wanted to really ask, if I was to fall, I want to fall after my exams. Also, it was the Guru who told me my Kundalini was awakened. I told him that for some reason, I was feeling very confident. He said "What you are experiencing is Kundalini, when the negative energy channels start to open. Some say it is Enlightenment, but it is nothing, it is just mechanism, what we want is True Lord." Also, the Spiritualist is my cousin's boyfriend's father, and there was once when we were house visiting, she came into my grandma's house and talked about his father, and I was intrigued given my interest at that moment, but I waited 30 minutes before coming out of the room, but she had left already. As you can see, my life is quite unfortunate. So within the months of April, May, June, July, August, September, I was experiencing a tremendous bliss, powerfully transformative. I was very high on life, due to the Kundalini. Nothing could touch me, or at least apparently, for here I now tell my tragic story. I was the class monitor, and was given a task on Monday to make a Teacher's Day Card for Friday. I was thinking as I was enlightened, I could do it on my own pace, and also, if I hurried, I might seem insecure. On the Thursday, I went in front of the class, after our last lesson, and this guy, I admit he has strong leadership skills and willpower, if arrogant, who was a prefect, so knew we had to make the card, went out of the classroom and said, "I got to go, I got stuff to do", and just left me standing there, and then the whole class joined in "Sorry, Calixtus! We got stuff to do as well." In this manner I was destroyed, my first falling. Honestly, at this point, I could still salvage myself. I might have fallen, but it wasn't beyond help. But honestly, it was in Army that shiet happened. I wasn't in the right state of mind to enter army. A tough place. I was diagnosed as "schizophrenia" in army, in 1 minute by the doctor, who was a manipulative person. Then after that, I was designated to the Navy, and everyday as a clerk, I would go insane at them laughing at me. First of all, because my energy meridians were blocked, my true strength as a person did not show. They were laughing at me because they thought I was weak, when I was lost, constricted, and in pain. If I had just gotten out of it, I could easily show my superior spiritual levels. There's a lot more to the story, if anyone is interested. The basis is this, that I struggled, suffered, gained, lost, knew it would be a pity to not salvage, and then even lost at my attempts at salvaging. It is a very sad life. Basically, I got nothing to look forward to, and I see the Reality every damn day, it is complete emptiness. I lost everything, all my efforts, all the time, all the joy that could have been. My higher self doesn't like to waste time, and this was from 2005 onwards, 20 years of wasted time. This is a fking bs story, if this is the best God can do, I am not impressed, this is not the resume of a supreme being. So much more hurt to speak of, tell me if anyone is still interested in hearing. They said "no weapon shall prosper". The problem is this, I was lost, and could not help myself anymore, I tried my best to salvage, but was stopped by various forces, I was deceived by the devil who planned my destruction, and I was all alone, without a guide or guru, which I gravely needed. How now? When everything is lost and gone??

How was everyone's else Kundalini awakening?

You have no idea of the truth, it is a tremendous bliss, there is humility in how blessed I am, and clarity comes before Kundalini.

I was very high on life. Because that was my capability. When I came to know myself, I came to realise what I already know, that I was so beautiful inside. My energy was very high and pure. When my classmates threw me down, my whole body started burning up. My Guru wanted to help me, but over time he abandoned me. Left alone, with my energy channels sealed, it was in Army that I slowly lost my efforts. I became so weak, a Spiritualist said "you know weak spirits are controlling you", and I asked "if they are weak spirits, how can they control me", and he said "you are even weaker than them". Can you imagine how I feel, from so strong, to so weak??? Where is the meaning of my life now? Because they would have called me the strong one.

The Guru said those who seek God on their own, end up in the madhouse. So basically I was so capable, the Kundalini energy awakening was ready for me, but because of my evil classmates, they threw down one of the greatest awakenings, one of the greatest minds of this era. That's how I see it.

If you read the story, over 20 years abandoned and without help, I lost everything. My reality is this, NOTHING. I feel nothing, sense nothing. I am dead inside. I don't know what to do. Can you help?

Ok, so what is your experience of Kundalini for yourself? My experience was massive, my body transfigured to the light body.

Thanks for responding OBEler! Can we talk on a more convenient means? My Discord is cleverandwitty_95959

I was accomplished and unexcelled, and could be called a Samyaksam Buddha. I had many powerful gifts and merits, no real powers, but high intelligence, creativity, writing skills and eloquence. As well as I can sing. Not sure how many more latent gifts I would have realised if I wasn't stopped. This is a real story, and a very tragic one. Basically, of 20 years of being left alone without a Guru, I am totally destroyed.

No, I am a real person, and you have no idea of the spiritual level I once had. I was very high on life, with what can be called, supreme bliss. I can share more if you want. Also, that's a picture of me at 5 I think, how can you think I am a bot. You can't see how real my story is?? He said I met him, because I asked God to meet a man of God, so God answered.