Hello1

So I am generally against antidepressants if unnecessary. I have been really holding back for a long time and trying without them. I really care about making the right decision! So long story short, I feel terribly behind and stuck in life, it´s hard to dig my way out of the rut. I have bad experience with therapy too, tried more of those. I am losing energy to keep fighting. Depressive, anxious, with zero game plan. This is a very long-term problem. Then I also have a short-term problem - getting myself out of an extremely toxic/addictive/manipulative relationship. This getting out has now lasted for 2 years now, is not working and I am a wreck now. My hair literally went grey from it. I cry daily and I feel completely drained and miserable. Those two problems combined - I can hardly survive. I feel like I might go crazy. Honestly, I am losing interest in living. (not that I wanna kill myself, I just really am not interested in life at all. And very often I wish I wasn´t alive. I lost interest in all my hobbies. Some days I am so depressive that I hardly walk. I cannot judge well how serious this is. I don´t wanna take anti-depressants light-heartedly. I wanna avoid them if I can. I know my problems are my fault, I lack discipline, emotional mastery and some deep work on myself. Maybe I could still try withoug antidepressants? Do lots of sports instead? But that is not enough. Moreover, fall and winter are coming and that does not help. I hardly survived last fall/winter. Only summer makes it a tiny bit better. My friends and my therapist (though I don´t consider her very good) try to convince me to take the antidepressants. My closest friend regards it as very serious. What do you think? Where is the line? Would they help my personal development right now OR would they make a disservice to it?

Sorry, maybe I´m stupid, but I am really, really struggling with this and it prevents me from moving on with the course. Values Assessment - Pass 05 (Value Definitions): my question n.1: definition that I am asked to come up with as a result is supposed to be my definition of the word - or my definition of embodying it? Example: is it what the word nature means to me or what embodying the value of nature means to me? my question n.2: The 3 questions that are supposed to help me figure out this definition - 1st of these questions is actually the same as coming up with the definition itself already, so I really, really do not understand. my question n.3: again, the 3 questions that are supposed to help me figure out the definition, question 2 and question 3 are identical to me, what is the difference? my question n.4: I am asked to be specific. Does that apply only to the 3 helping questions or also for the final definition itself? If it applies for the definition itself, I do not quite understand. Definitions of abstract words are usually broad and abstract, not specific. I mean examples can be specific, but not definitions. If my definition contains examples, it will be longer than 15 words! my question n.5: So am I supposed to first answer the 3 helping questions, and then forget those (that was just a warm-up?) and move on to coming up with the definition? OR should the definition contain all I came up with in the helping questions? - but then it will be very long. Also - If I have more problems with instructions, where can I ask questions without worrying about the copyright? Don´t get me wrong, this is not to criticise the course. Not at all. I am exciting that I am doing it. I am very grateful that I have it. I bought it years ago and didn´t finish back then. Now I´m doing it over again. I really, really care about getting through the course. I see the value of it. And I am not someone who can easily afford it financially but I did.

@Leo Gura maybe you can help me? I am sorry, maybe I am just stupid. I really tried, I re-watched the instructions more times. And also, I am very grateful for the course. And excited.

Leo, what is you opinion on Eckhart Tolle's books? They didn't get to your booklist. I hope I'm not wrong but I never saw them there. Too simple? Too esoteric? Not interesting enough? I'm curious.

I'm listening to interviews with Peter Ralston, by Leo but also by other people. He says things like - "You're doing it! Just stop doing it!" - concerning negative emotions and "unnecessary suffering". From all he says it seems like I should just skip negative emotions. Isn't it the case that I should actually feel through the negative emotions and not avoid them? Isn't avoidance a negative habit that avoidant people to? Someone explain to me the difference if there is any. Many thanks

@Inliytened1 R. Spira is there

There are some very simple books on the list. Just wondering, curious...

@Miguel1 yes I notice that

I don't celebrate christmas, like at all. And I don't even get it what it means if someone wishes me Merry Christmas. It is very strange to me. I don't even get what might be enjoyable about it, it only seems like a bunch of to-do tasks. Do more people like this exist? When someone says Mery Christmas to me, and I reply that I don't celebrate that, they often get offended or sometimes sorry for me. I used to though when I was a child. I guess I was brainwashed but since then I don't get it, and what surprises me the most is lack of such people.

This is risky, I hope noone gets angry at me for this topic What are your thoughts about the topic of farting and burbing in front of people who are close to you and you have to spend time in one room together often, such as your roommates, your children, your parents or siblings but most especially - in romantic relationships? 😀

@Hojo that is exactly what I do

Those of you who meditate, do some of you have a different than regular meditation body position? I had to find my own one, because I find the regular one incredibly uncomfortable and can't stay in it. In this new one I still have my back straight and it keeps me alert too and not sleepy. Although if I wanted to meditate for long, I would probably have to move around. What are yours?

@Schizophonia i don't naturally like any protein

@Salvijus thanks for this info

@Natasha Tori Maru interesting, thank you for the inspiration

@jacknine119 😀😀

@Daniel Balan nice, thanks for reply, interesting. It's a bit different than me, I don't have a specific reason, I'm just indifferent

@Salvijus what I wrote doesn't apply for new year wishes, it was only about Christmas. Wondering if there are more people like that. So I won't go into whether I celebrate anything else to keep it not confusing

@Salvijus actually not, when I think about it

It's interesting because there are really two conflicting opinions and I've heard peaple have both totally opposite ones. I do not do that because I've been too shy about it and I haven't lived with a partner yet. However it really hurts physically and makes me really irritable, resentful and angry if I try to keep it in 😀 it even makes me wanna meet my partner less, spend less time together because I truly hate it. Am I the only one? I've had partners who are completely against farting in front of people, and I've had partners who farted in front of me, and I've had ones that have tried to convince me to start farting too because they wished that I feel comfy, but I couldn't because of social conditioning. I would like to overcome it once and I wish to have a partner who wants me to do it. The most annoying part is the inequality, women seem to be less "allowed" to do that. Sometimes people express this opinion and I cannot decode whether it is a joke or a real opinion, than man can and women shouldn't.

- how to resolve fear of conflict - what should the process of conflict be? (In some cases, having no clue about this probably leads to the fear of starting it) - what is the next step if the two sides do not agree - how to have conflict with unconscious people - when is it worth it to avoid the conflict - what if I'm scared to start a conflict because I must then live with / live near this person and it might not get resolved - how to know who is right

I am very naturally interested in topics like God, consciousness, nature of reality, awakening and so on. I have natural ability to think abstractly, I am intuitive, I have been through a lot of suffering, which also brings people som depth, I think. I meditate as well. When Leo and other intelligent people talk about God and related topics, I have a feeling that I understand incredibly much. More than most people, I suspect. However, I am not among the top intelligent people (like Leo seems to be, although I'm not too bad either), I do not have my shit together, I struggle with career terribly, I am mostly jobless and sometimes I work as a fucking housekeeper. I don't quite master my emotions, I struggle with finances etc. I am depressive and sometimes suicidal, but most importantly - I'm not very much educated, I don't know basics of math, physics, history. I will never be able to know much of physics and math, its not exactly my type of brain. My question is - is it ok to still be interested in those topics? How should I go about it? On your way to awakening, do you have to necessarily understand math and physics? Can a "normal", not so educated or math-inclined person awaken as well?

@Leo Gura and do you think this kind of work (on my cognitive development) is also worth pursuing if Im not among the most intelligent people? Because it sounds interesting and worthwhile and I do enjoy hearing about it in your videos but is it for everyone? I mean I am not unintelligent, I'm just not one of those nerds... So does it even make sense to have it among my aspirations? I would say my personality type is such that thinking about facts bores and hurts me 😀 (But again I'm not terrible at it)

@Breakingthewall yeah this makes sense

@UnbornTao My name is Martina I am from Slovakia, however its annoying what you guys write because this thread is about a different topic. But at least you make it "hot" by adding comments heh