Waffle

I live with my partner and 2 children and for years I was and still could be codependent on her. I grew up in the most deprived areas in my county and moving around constantly. Because of my poor mental health I bring in disability benefits. My partner has a gambling addiction and it is on the smartphone. I estimate that she clocks in easy 70 hours a week and orders takeaways all day so she don't have to stop. It seems like she is now becoming dependent on me to watch our kids, do housekeeping and so on. My mental health was so poor that during my mid to late teenage years I spent it as a recluse in my bedroom just like them hikikomori in Japan. My partner is definitely the dominant type in this relationship and I think that could be why I was attracted to her. I basically got to be numb for years living here with my kids and girlfriend and now my girlfriend is going downhill. She lives off fast food and smokes 2 fags and hour. She is neglecting her hygiene and doesn't leave the house because of how obease she has become. You could see this as karma for giving myself away in the relationship but I didn't intentionally do this. I seem to have renounced my independence and individuality because of her controlling tendencies. She hated me having friends and made one of my friends cry on the phone before because I was out with him and she couldn't afford a takeaway. My friend would often bribe her to let me out if she had a takeaway of him in exchange. I am now friendless, penniless and not sure what to do about my situation. I have tried to get out in the world many times and failed to keep jobs and maintain friends. Last year I went through chemotherapy and my partner was coming with me to my appointments. I think her gambling became worse around this time as she can make gambling last all day and now she wants to live in fantasy world just like how I was living.

@Preety_India I understand what you are saying, I have been with her since the end of 2012. Our son was born in 2015 and 2 weeks before that I had testicular cancer. She encouraged me to get it sorted at the doctors, I had a relapse in 2019 and then I had to get chemotherapy this time around with a major operation at the end of it. She has supported me in the past and we both brought 2 kids into the world so I don't want to do anything to hasty. What I am trying to say is it isn't just black and white and that she is all evil. I don't want to make excuses for her but she provides with the gambling situation. She wallpaperd, bought a bigger TV and sorted Christmas out. She did this but at the cost of her addiction. Because of low self esteem I can only be a voice of reason in my relationship. She is more the authoritative personality and this is how I have allowed my self to be dominated. Forgot to say I'm 27.