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Everything posted by zurew
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zurew replied to King Merk's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I agree with this, but this is why i don't think there is true morality or true ethics. I know that there is a spectrum here, and we should thrive towards to be better. But that is still all subjective. I am arguing that it is subjective thats all, i agree with the notion that there is a spectrum. I was thinking about this selfless thing before and how it could change our justice system. Most justice work could be reduced if everyone would be as selfless with spiritual work as he/she can -
zurew replied to King Merk's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It is subjective that slavery is wrong, slavery is good for people who own slaves. Why do you want to destroy their position of power for your own ideal world? See it is all subjective. Why you want to create a world where is no suffering or a lot less suffering, when there are people who want more suffering? Why do you want to destroy their values / ideals?. You want to create a nondual world in a dual world - this is why i said as long as you have an ego, you can't have 'true ethics' -
zurew replied to King Merk's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Okay ,lets say that there are or there were people who were completely selfless (i don't believe that tho) . For their own survival they had to consume food and water. Even if they were totally vegan they had to 'kill' the plants to survive. Why can a human destroy other thing's life for their own survival? -
zurew replied to King Merk's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
If your survival is threatened it doesn't matter how developed you are, you will act in a biased way. There is no such thing as 'true ethics' it is all subjective. Just for yourself to survive you need to live in a selfish way. Even if you are a vegan you still kill plants, why your life has more value compared to a plant? You life is depended upon a lot of consumption. When there is a finite amount of consumable resources there will never be a notion like 'true ethics'. We can thrive to be more ethical but it won't be 'true ethics'. As long as you have an ego, you cannot live fully selflessly - so you can't have true ethics -
zurew replied to King Merk's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Why others don't have this desire or why others desire the opposite? Where does desire comes from? -
No. Politics in one of the juiciest things you can talk about on any platform, it will get a lot of traction and it is important for everyone. Who has any incentive to stop the toxicity, when Toxicity is the main thing that getting the most traction - so the most money can be generated this way Facebook algorithm optimises for toxicity, if you are not toxic in your articles or in your advertisements then your posts won't pop up Neither the radical left nor the radical right wants to find any bridge between the two side, so they want to make the opposite side look ridiculous - Such way they can get more people to their side Most people don't want to find solutions, most people care about maintaining their ideology and ideas Almost no person wants to get their ideas challenged - everyone want to stay in their bubble and in their comfort zone Most people only focusing on their values, and not giving any shit what others want This is correlated with the 6. one , Most people look at problems only from a very narrow perspective and anything that challenges their narrow perspective will be demonized Because how the media environment is, and how social media algorithms work, if you are not toxic - you basically can't win any election Eliminating all the toxic info in any field is impossible right now, because of the power dynamics. As long as you can get ahead by being toxic and trying to deliberately strawmanning and downplaying the opposite side's arguments you will do it. Basically as long as there is a dynamic ,where one side's survival is hinges upon beating all the other sides, this dynamic will never end, because no one is incentivised to do so. ( But of course it is not black and white and it can improve, or it can be eliminated, but elimination will require a lot of change and that change won't come any time soon)
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Bro take your time and heal up. When you are more okay with yourself and your self-image, then you can go hard again. Get to a normal self-esteem level. Don't focus on pickup , focus on healing up thats your biggest problem. Society tells you that you should lose your virginity at an early age as a man, you should have a house and a family in your 20s or early 30s. It doesn't matter what society tells you, focus on your development and take baby steps. Your journey is different from others it requires a unique path and unique way of development. Do it for yourself, not for others. You are still in your 20s so you have a lot more time left. Don't be too hard on yourself, if you can keep up with babysteps and consistency you can achieve a lot in 5 years. Do not push too hard because you will burn out. Also don't be so judgemental on yourself. You want to get good feedback obviously as anyone would want to. Any feedback you get back from woman you can make good out of it. It will show holes in your game, and in your development where you need to focus more. Its not bad if a woman rejects you, Its just a feedback that you can use to get better and better. Negative experience is the best, because you can learn about yourself, what you should do different, or what you should change in yourself to get better results. Negative feedback is essential for you, to find the girl you want to find. Good luck, and stay strong!
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Can you name any of her nuanced arguments?
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It would have been just an apology not an interfere. Why would you need to wait to give your apology? If you truly feel apologetic, then you shouldn't wait with it imo. The fact that he reached out to you now, is kind of sus. Also with the time passing by, you will see if he is truly apologetic or not. If he tries to move on you in a few weeks, it will mean that he is just playing games with you.
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Thats true. Even if someone's really sorry, sometimes people can't change their actions so they repeat their mistakes again and again. Sometimes intention doesn't really matter, if the outcome is the same. @somegirl There is a lot of man out there, you can pick and choose from them to find the best, you don't need to gamble with the fuckboy. Think about how much downside this can bring you comapred to the upside.
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Have you seen the film called 'Ready player one' it is a really good one, it can give you a perspective about a world where VR is commonly used. I think that there are some valid fears about VR. No tech is neutral, every new tech has a huge impact on our lifes, it can change how we view the world and ourselves, it can change our thinking etc. On the other hand there is a huge potential as well (after it will become really advanced): We could use it for psychology as well (for example testing for phobias or imagine creating variations of yourself and doing activities with yourself talking with your past selves - i know this is far beyond just VR, but it could be used for healing for sure, and to recognise our biases better) It could be used for certain experiments (Any environment could be constructed where you can face your fears, to learn about yourself by dropping yourself in different kind of hard situations that could never ever occur in real life also social experiments could be created where we can create the adequate environment and situation for the tests without needing to find an outside place for it or without using any money ) Could be used for spiritual development (if we could recreate retreat places and if we combine it using such headphones that can block every outside noise, then it could be really powerful) Could be used to develop mental resistance (imagine if you could build for yourself any enviroment where you can test yourself as much as you want, putting there your worst fears, phobias, ideas and live with it for a certain amount of time) - this can be also made such a way where we collectively testing ourselves in certain isolated situations how would humankind react for certain things in practice Learning in a different way (Building vr worlds that is very similar to the real world, imagine being there with your virtual character and learning about extinct animals or even living animals by being in their environment seeing them interacting with them, learning about them in such a way where you don't just use your sight but more of your senses). Learning skills (Bulding a vr world that is similar to the real world, we could create such enviroments and situations what would be expensive or unaccessible otherwise) like creating a situation for surgeons where they can train themselves to do certain kind of hard surgery procedures, so they can be ready mentally when they really need to do their job. Make hard things more enjoyable and doable (for instance having a room bike and using a vr headset at the same time and being in an evironment that is enjoyable may increase the possibility for certain people to do some exercises.) Developing the need for spirituality (Maybe by being able to live our highest hedonistic desires in custom environments, more and more people can come to the conclusion to seek something deeper, this way we can maybe burst most people's materialistic desire bubbles)
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I think you are totally right on that one. We are being so attached to the depressed state/depressed perspective that we can't let it go. If we wouldn't care, we would let it go, but we are caring so much about staying in the depressed state, that we build a whole persona and story around it so it can become stronger. Thats how powerful attachments are, being obsessively attached to something can literally destroy your life. Thats why practicing detachment and letting go of things consciously is a very powerful technique. Its very interesting, that sometimes the ego would rather lead itself to suicide, compared to letting the negative identity go, and letting go of negative attachments.
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One of the main reason why, you can't think anything else just about suicide, because you are stuck in a negative depressed paradigm. Your paradigm is valid, we don't dismiss how bad you are feeling right now. But remember, just as others said it is just one paradigm from the many. You see no way out, because you think from your current paradigm. You can absolutely shift and change your paradigm, that way you can start to see other possibilities that you can use to feel better. Right now you need to be a little bit selfish, concentrate on yourself, give love to yourself, and only then you have a greater possibility to change situations in the world. If you really struggle and you really think that you can't do it alone, search for help. There is nothing wrong to search for some professional help. If you can't afford or if you really don't want to go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, you can call a suicide hotline.
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I would frame it this way: I would not even call it 'being happy' i would call it being deeply/fully fulfilled (not wanting to desire almost anything / not wanting to take from the world just only the basics to be able to survive). When you are truly fulfilled you only want to give for the World. From a fulfilled place one can really start to live his/her life and making the world a better place using their unique skills and capabilities. In that case, we can start to talk about what i wrote in my previous text, that you can figure out your own way what you want to optimise for (besides happiness) and how you want to make your own footprint in the world. Because in my opinion, you should connect your highest value with your carrier (Just as how Leo did with understanding). However, as we know from maslow's hierarchy, to be able to reach fulfillment and higher levels of consciousness - we need to satisfy our lover needs healthily first. So knowing where we are going, and why we are doing what we are doing consciously and having a solid plan can be really important. Also realising that mostly we are working towards fulfillment can be important as well.
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I somewhat agree with your approach but not fully. My method would be learning a lot too, but because i am just a layman i can only go so far. Maybe i am undermining how far i could go, but my approach would be this: Firstly i would go with a conservative method, where i want to find all the best specialist doctors and ask them a lot of questions. I would try those methods out, and ask about the medicinies side effects carefully and i would decide if i can go with it or not. I would also read about what could be the causing factors and search for speclialists in those fields as well. (The reason why i would start with the conservative doctors and methods is because conservative methods are the most tested ones, so i can know better what to expect from them) If after all that, i am not satisfied with the solution i would go for alternative medicine and methods as well.(lets be it a conservative doctor or a shaman or anyone who understands that particular field much better than me). Depending on how serious and urgent the problem is, most of the time people don't have time to sit around and read more and more to figure out the solution for a complex health issue, so taking some pills could be the best solution in that situation because you don't know better. Taking pills can be very effective for different kind of health issues even if it comes with side effects. Sometimes taking pills can be the most secure way to deal with the problem, because it was most likely tested a dozen times before compared to alternative methods. Sometimes the problem with an alternative approach is that it wasn't tested too much and there is not so much evidence you can find how effective certain methods are and what kind of problems certain methods can cause. I like your learning approach though. Continous learning and studying about your health issue can help you out a lot for sure, to find better ways and to understand you situation better. In my opinion the holistic approach would somewhat look like this: You decide that you learn about it as much as you possibly can, and you are willingly try any method or medicine (if you researched about them enough before) to try to solve your health problem. Reflecting on your life how much more you can max out your mental and physical health (making sure your basic system is in the right place) Trying to find correlations with other parts of you that you have never thought about before, how all your system can work together (what part can what effect on different parts). Asking the question if core of the problem is really there, where you are searching for it or it is coming from somewhere else. Asking the question if it can have multiple different kind of causality factors so you can going through them one by one. As much disagreement i have too as a layman with the conservative health system, i wanted to make points and shed light to the good parts of it as well.
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If you could wish anything , which one would you choose ( you can only choose one ) Solving this: Everywhere i go i see people suffering and try to survive working wage slave jobs, kids with illnesses, people with mental health issues, poor people. Or solving your depression, all your emotional problems, all your inner suffering Do you think those two are directly related, or do you think you could see those two decoupled?
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Yes, i somewhat agree with what you are saying. However, if for someone health is really his/her top value,then learning about it and optimising his/her life around that value should be the choice. There is nothing wrong with being more aware and to learn about how you can become more healthy. Of course anything can become too toxic, but being more conscious should be good. There is nothing wrong with calculating either, it all depends on calculating what impacts has on you. Look at Leo, Leo's top value if i know correctly is understanding. He is optimising his whole life around the value of understanding. An outsider can say, that it is toxic and he should value having children or family or health much better than understanding. Usually health isn't a top priority/value for everyone, there are things that are more important for most people compared to health. So overall it all depends on one's values and goals. How do you want to live your life? <--- Thats an important question to know the answer for.
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There are some research around alcohol that it can be beneficial for you if you are moderate about it, but its arguable. But even if we say that it doesn't have any direct health benefit, a small amount of alcohol you have sometimes won't destroy you nearly as much the other things you can do for yourself. For example, if we are talking about being anxious and being stressful, i think that is much more damaging for you, than having a little alcohol here and there. If the health part is the main reason why you are contemplating about to drink a moderate amount of alcohol or not, then i think you should weight other things in your life as well, how healthy is your diet, how often do you exercise, overall how much is your lifestyle is optimised for being healthy. If Health is your biggest value and priority in life, then you should cut out alcohol completely from your life. Live up freely for your highest values, its your life, just calculate how much stress it will bring and calculate how much can you handle the pressure from outside. Maybe it will generate a lot of stress for you, and maybe it will be even more damaging for you comapared to rarely having a drink with your friends .
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One final advice for your coding journey. The advice would be to make your own projects. Start from scratch and learn the needed technology,knowledge, tricks, and piece of code that you need to make your little project happen. Thats the ultimate learning, when you can put your knowledge into real practice, you struggle, you need to research, fail and try and fail and try. Thats how real projects are actually bult. If you will have a job in coding in the future, you will be doing something similar. If you are a beginner, you should choose smaller projects like building a tic-tac-toe game. There are a lot of other small project ideas, you pick one and you try to solve it yourself. If you really really struggle you may peek and see part of the solution and then try to finish your project. By building your own projects: you will really understand how coding works in practice, you will learn how to translate your idea into code, you will learn how to research for solutions or part of the solution, you will find a lot of error and that way you will realise what different kind of errors can mean and how to solve them your brain will have a lot more connection to coding, you will have a tangible experience, what different kind of coding concepts actually mean. You can build your own portfolio, which can be very beneficial when you apply for jobs You will learn a lot of skills through struggling (like being able to find effectively a soultion, researching, getting to know your IDE better, handling errors more effectively, learning debugging, and learning about the most common bugs, and learning about where to search for the bugs in your code) You can reuse your own code (you will know exactly all the parts of your previous projects and you will be able to use parts of it for other projects or problems) Good luck!
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In my opinion, if a lot of people is telling you the same critique to you, that should be alarming for you to think about it. But its all depending on the situation and on the kind of critique you receive. For example, you can get critiques from people who is much better at a certain field than you, so you should evaluate what they are saying to you. I think you should also differentiate between critiques and impulses from someone. Sometimes there is a heated moment in someone's life so they will project a lot onto you. Overall, what you can do is to improve your own self reflecting abilities. If you focus on improving your self-reflection, if some critiques are valid you should be able to realise them yourself. Of course, there is your own bias, so that you can't see some stuff, but still using certain practices like meditation and psychedelics should show some fallacies in your ego. If we are talking about an intimite relationship, if someone wants you to change your core values and some of your core habits, then you should really think about that realtionship if you really want that to go forward. If we are talking about slight behaviour change suggestions, then maybe if that person is important for you, you can try to change those. You should know exactly, where you want to draw your own line. What is that you can tolerate. You should always focus on what you can do. But negotiating can be important as well, but before that you should know exactly what your values are, and where you draw your line. If your line is clear, then communicating with the friend or partner can be beneficial, communicating is key. Informing that particular person where is your line, what will you be able to sacrifice for that particular relationship, and getting to know why they told you their critique.
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You should be developing a ton of intuitive knowing about women by then. Most of the time you won't even think about what to do in certain situations because you went through it tons of times, and you have a lot of experience by then. Its like if you would ask this: Can i get better at something, if i gain a ton of experience by doing that particular activity? The answer is obviously, yes. Experience is always king.
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Maybe you are right on the smelling issue, but it doesn't sounds too exact to me either from the information that you wrote. Maybe she isn't getting bullied, she just can't keep up with the new pressure. Or maybe she is getting bullied for some reason, but you can only get to know that by asking more questions. It could be that she shouldn't be in the position she is in right now, because she can't do the work she needs to do, so if she get an easier position maybe she could handle the stress more well. I think that if you want to help, you need to gather more information about this situation. I would ask some clarifying questions from the woman who think she is getting bullied unfairly: When did the bullying started? What things she is being told? Does she know anybody else who is getting bullied the same as her? If you don't get any significant insight about the issue, then you could ask the bullying side as well, what exactly the problem is, how she feels about the situation, whats her take. That overall should somewhat clarify what is going on, and then according to the information in your hand you can make steps if you want to solve it or not.
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I think you should contemplate about exactly, why you feel guilty when you drink. I think some arguments could be made that a small amount of alcohol can even be beneficial for you. You say that you are not a heavy drinker, so i don't think that drinking is the problem here, more of a mental block or something psychological. Contemplate deeply about it, exactly why do you feel guilty: Is it a cultural programming? Is it something that you have learnt from you parents that you should't drink Is it something else that you came up with in your mind to feel more special or to feel more better? Do you think it causing harm for your spiritual development? if you think it is, then the question is how? What is exactly that you try to achieve by not drinking anything?
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VPN-s are easy to get around. But yeah, it can be annoying. Also there are cases, where some content is hidden from you, if you have a certain kind of ip address. In that case, you are not necessarily even aware, that you can't access everything. So even if you know how to get around it, you won't , because you are not aware that you should. For example google did it, russian's couldn't access almost any western news about the war. As a russian you had to use vpn-s to be able to see western articles or you had to use another search engine. Tsuki made a thread about it.
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You are rightfully becoming more and more pessimistic. However, you shouldn't let your pessimism to chain you down completely. We don't want to have a society where everyone is naively optimistic about every issue, because thats very damaging and it could be fatal. We don't want to a have a society either, where all the people are pessimistic, so they don't want to do anything, and don't want to make any change, lets be it inner work or outer work. We need to understand the issues on a systematic level, and make sense of the issues, so we can start to think about the changes what we can do to at least try to solve them. Sometimes there is nothing else but the ability to try. Even if the chances are very low to succeed, we should capitalize on it, if we don't have any other choice.