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Everything posted by crab12

  1. @LfcCharlie4 That is solid advice. I hate it too when someone acts superior, especially with the spiral dynamics model. Oh yeah I recognize this, I have done this. Especially asking people for pay in return of my service or making a business profit feels like its "bad" for whatever silly reason. It's very common, rich people are generally hated because of this, just on this fact alone that they made a significant amount of money. It's assumed they stole the money, while they are overlooking the fact that the most profitable business is WIN-WIN, meaning you create value, not just take it from others.
  2. Yup, that's exactly what my intuition was telling me and where I wanted to lead this conversation. Very nicely put, I also had love in mind when starting this thread. Since love means that you choose to take another as a part of you, which also means that you truly see their best interests as your own. Kinda like a mother does things for her child, not because she wants something back from the child, but because she loves her child and genuinely wants what's best for the child without seeing this as a self-sacrifice or a means to extract value back from the child later on. Only that you would see everything in this light, including your own needs and your own body.
  3. I think that in their perspective, it is not in their best interest to give their nuts away, and outside mating season / reproduction they don't care about the well-being of other squirrels. But what is this "ego" that humans have and squirrels don't, in your opinion?
  4. @Chakra Lion It would be highly impractical and a burden to others, or a burden to yourself, as an enlightened being would see this. From the human perspective, I would not give my money away because I don't want to (I agree with your reasoning that it would be impractical, though I think in the end it boils down to my personal free will choice of I don't want to do it). But if I finally experienced oneness in a stable way and saw that other is me then perhaps this would change what I wanted to do, this is what I'm curious about. Ahhh okay, so the absolute perspective of “you all that is” is not true. Closer to reality would be just the universe or everything, as there is no personal "you", just what is, the personal is the ego. Did I get that right?
  5. I see, only the perspective changed. Do you feel more altruistic than before? Do you still value luxury and nice things for yourself? I personally see "ego death" as the recognition that there is nothing that is not you (this is on thoughts level only though, without psychedelics and in a non-peak-experience way I can see myself as pure awareness or other times I forget myself as the human I'm supposed to be). I'm interested in whatever way others see enlightenment or "ego death" and how it changed their behavior. Interesting, from the human perspective then, do you do things because you judge them as being non-perfect or what is your motivation to do things from the human perspective? But from the absolute perspective, you would do nothing, because everything already is perfect? Lol, that sounds like some kind of a riddle, but humor me on this.
  6. It assures me there is someone who understands this feeling on a deep level, even though no words are exchanged, and that it's okay to feel like this. One more: I used to be amazed that someone else has this feeling too.
  7. I see. The issue is not whichever way the standard is, but that it is externally forced upon, and it doesn't let women be authentic. @Serotoninluv (or anyone else who knows) Do you know why feminists are not vocal about how women are expected to dress in islamic societies?
  8. @Leo Gura Terribly. Okay I'm starting to understand the perspective and feelings behind feminism. edit: I don't think reality is this extreme, that women are viewed as literal prostitutes by men. But from women's perspective, they actually feel like this? If this is really true, wow, I had no idea.
  9. You could argue all day about this without reaching satisfactory conclusion. However, throw people into a violent prison and they instinctively form gangs based on their ethnicity because that's the safest. This much deeper ingrained in humans than thoughts or intellectual debate. edit: You can only have this confusion if you have an abstract idea of an "Hungarian". If you meet actual people with Hungarian descent, it's obvious they are similar to the rest of the europeans on a visceral level.
  10. I see. Women felt they were pandering to the men by being eye candy for them, and they got sick of this, and rebelled against this. So in the mother daughter example, the mother felt that her daughter was pandering to the men by wearing make-up, sexy clothes etc. Very interesting. This is the mirror opposite how MGTOW feels towards women. So the dynamic used to be that women were pressured into doing this. I always thought that women were doing this voluntarily in order to gain power over men, at least I feel this is the dynamic presently. When my mother was teenager, she told me how it was forbidden for girls to wear make up to school, have long open hair, wear a revealing cleavage, high heels, etc. And some girls would rebelliously wear open hair to school and would get punished over it. It has been my understanding that society used to shun this kind of sexual display. Then again, I don't live in U.S, so maybe it used to be different there.
  11. He does a good job showing racial identity is an arbitrarily drawn category which only exists in people's thoughts, and not in reality. However, he lost me when he started implying other racial identities are valid. I think he misunderstands what fundamentally drives people together - it's not the illusion of shared identity but shared needs. Beings that have a subset of shared needs recognize that their needs can get met more efficiently if they all work together, and that's why they stick together, and only later they create the idea of shared identity around that. And those needs are authentic, can't get rid of them. Denying those needs would be inauthentic. Self-sacrifice / self-denial / acceptance of LOSE-WIN is inauthentic.
  12. I have studied a few PUA systems - David Deangelo, Love Systems, Mystery Method, RSD. The common approach with all of them is they mostly teach you techniques. This led me astray for years and I think many other men too who get into PUA. The teachers are aware techniques can only serve as training wheels and "fundamentals" are what matters. Here's a quote from Magic Bullets: But they fail to deliver on these "fundamentals". Their way of teaching is, if you do 10k approaches using our techniques and pick-up lines you will sorta stumble upon the right "fundamentals" on your own. I have been to the grind, clenching my teeth together, then putting on a confident face and doing an attempt after attempt after attempt, getting rejected over and over again, flaked on etc. Like I hate that I have to do this but there's no other way to get what I want. It made me very bitter and cynical towards women and society. I suspect many other guys have experienced this, including @Meetjoeblack. I feel there's game saturation now, most women under 35 have experienced 1000's of attempts from thirsty guys. And women can see that the guys are running a numbers game, so it's degrading and unsatisfying for women too. Both men and women are growing cynical and bitter and not getting their needs met.
  13. Interesting find. Say you get a wave of anxiety, how do you react to it currently? What's the mechanism that triggers the addiction behavior?
  14. @Maximus Ah okay I understand what you are saying. They were just kids and got molested by these fucking monsters, they didn't deserve this nor had any control over this. And now the police are covering for the perps while stonewalling the victims. This is a massive problem, it hasn't gotten any better, it's probably worse today than in 1980's. I would not raise a family in UK, I would move country. I'll try to explain how I understand victim mentality, to me these are completely different things. ~6 years ago I had an injury, I could no longer dance, lift weights, play team sports, run, or even walk properly. Dancing and lifting weights were very important to me at the time. The doctors told me these types of injuries do not heal and there's nothing they can do. At that young age, I thought my life was over, there's nothing I can do about it, it was an accident, it wasn't even my fault, and now I'm going to be crippled for the rest of my life. I was in a state of complete passivity, just played video games and coped with unhealthy behaviors. I was already depressed at the time and the accident made things much much worse. To me, this represents victim mentality, the belief that there is nothing I can do, that my life is ruined, it's over, and the apathy and passivity it produces. Now I can see that instead of lifting weights I can do calisthenics, instead of dancing I can draw. This injury doesn't stop me from living a good life, like at all, all the limitations have some kind of a workaround. And finally, if there really are no options left, I can choose to face death with dignity, like Socrates did. I don't need anything to live a good life other than do the thing that I want to do the most, and that option is always available. The Path or The Way is always there. I understand that being raped as a child is much worse than anything I have ever experienced. But I can see that even that doesn't have to stop you from living. The Steemit article you shared, the author is standing up and trying to expose the perpetrators even though he is getting stonewalled by the police, he can expose the whole thing to the public.
  15. I have given a lot of advice on this forum and in hindsight I can see that it has been ineffective and patronizing and not what the person really needs. If the person comes up with his/her own solution to the problem, then they will do the required work. No one likes to be told what to do. Therapists and life coaches don't give advice, good ones at least. They ask good questions and gently help the client come up with their own solutions.
  16. I think Dalai Lama understands this. The reason he fights for Tibetian sovereignty is not because he has an identity of "Tibetian" which he feels the need to preserve. It is because PROC was trying to (and still is) eradicate Tibetians, and he likes the Tibetian way of life and doesn't want it to be eradicated. edit: to make my point more clear. Imagine you grow up in an abusive family where your father beats you and demands you become an Olympic weightlifter. But you don't like sports, you want to become a pianist. It's obvious you should not do what your father demands but do what you want to do in your life and play the piano. Even if you understand that you and your father are one, you should still live your life the way you want to. Not to protect your separate identity, which is ultimately imaginary, but to fulfill the reason you brought yourself here in the first place.
  17. @Maximus Can you bring a few real world examples? I don't understand what you mean
  18. @fridjonk The absolute knows this without saying. Remember, in this forum you are human typing messages to other humans. Lol what a terrible thing to say to someone mourning a loss.
  19. I am sorry for the loss of innocent lives. I have never considered this possibility. Everyone in the west see U.S and Iran as absolute enemies. This was seen as a gesture of de-escalation by Iran, from a western point of view. They could have easily killed hundreds of Americans in response but restrained to only a symbolic show of force. Generally there is growing fatigue of war and people wish the military would just pull out from the middle east and leave it be. There are the establishment war hawks who wish for perpetual war because they personally benefit from it (Bolton, McCain (deceased), Kushner etc). And then there are Trumptards who just support whatever Trump does because they are idiots. I would be interested in hearing it, although I don't want you to get banned if it's not allowed. In the west there are 2 perspectives of isis. First, that it is the embodiment of the worst possible evil on earth, the "bad guys" who kidnap and rape our women and girls or just the "enemies". The second is that it's paid for and armed by U.S and Israel, and they do their dirty work through it. They fight and destabilize Israel's political enemies (Syria, Iran) in the region and allow U.S to steal their oil.
  20. @Bill W I agree with the distinction between a victim and victim-mentality. If a person becomes victimized (assault theft etc) he/she can still take direct action and society is more than willing to help (police). If the victimized person has victim-mentality he/she is unlikely to take proactive action, usually they just suffer in silence and do not reach out for help. And a minority of them will make vague passive-aggressive twitter posts how it's all of society's fault or how it's the fault of one demographic, earning a bad rep for victim-mentality. I empathize with victim-mentality too. They have valid and real problems but believe there is nothing they can do about it, it's futile, it's utterly pointless. They are flooded with frustration and apathy and it's incredibly difficult to take action from such a place. Often they don't reach out and their problems stay unacknowledged.
  21. Unfortunately schizophrenia and meds will affect the memory, and you will struggle more because of that. But there are 2 things you can try to get around this problem. What kind of information do you struggle with? Is it names, or passwords, facts? I have quite awful memory for text-based information and I get around this issue using memory palaces. You can effortlessly memorize a list of 30 items in a few minutes, for example, and it'll stay there for months, it's pretty cool. You can memorize complex ideas too with memory palaces, and it helps with the learning process as it requires you to understand the topic in a very clear way before chunking it up and memorizing it. Check out memory palaces: The other main thing for bad memory is low quality sleep:
  22. Potentially no hormones, antibiotics, pathogens, heavy metals either. And reduced emissions. This is a win in every category.
  23. I enjoyed reading that. Ahhh now I finally see the case for a world government. But cooperation can only happen when it benefits both parties. The rise of nationalism is happening because, right now, they are perceiving that they will end up losing in a world government. It's a LOSE-WIN deal for the. The argument is they should just give up their fight because it's: It will only cause them to entrench further and prepare to fight till the bitter end, because they are going to perish either way. This is very much like when you are trying to study for the exams but at the same time you have the urge to play video games. You can suppress your desire to play games this one time but internal suppression isn't going to work as a long term solution. The suppressed desire will revolt and wreak havoc sooner or later. A long term solution would be to find a way that satisfies both of your internal needs, a WIN-WIN for your own self. If you truly want a unified world government you are going to have to come up with a solution that satisfies everyone, including people who want to preserve their preferred way of life (nationalists). Not just tell them, it's inevitable, just give up. Otherwise you are being a carnivore devouring them for the "greater good", but the "greater good" is to satisfy all needs and to unify all.
  24. I can see 2 reasons which are understandable to me. 1) Victim perceives that external forces are running his life 100% and he has 0% control over the direction of his life. Therefore victim doesn't see himself responsible for his own life, because how can you be responsible over something you have no control over? So whenever a problem arises for the victim, he will not try to fix it himself. Because he didn't do anything, he has 0% control, it's not he's fault! Victim demands other people fix his problems, because they are responsible for it, as the victim perceives external forces are 100% running his life. Isn't it annoying having other people blame you for their problems and demand you fix it for them? 2) Victim believes life is a giant lottery and she was dealt a bad hand (bad genetics, bad parents, bad country etc etc). She believes it's impossible for her to create something better nor is it possible for other people. So she sees that successful people just got lucky, they didn't earn their success, it was all just handed to them. The victim sees this is unfair, and demands the successful person give part of his wealth to him so they are equal, this is only fair in the victims eyes. Imagine working hard your entire life and then having a mob of ungrateful assholes demand you hand over your wealth and suggest that you didn't work for any of it but that you stole it from them. And that it's only fair that you give your stuff away.
  25. I believe christians worship the same god as do muslims, it's the same thing buddhists think of, and it's the same god Leo and the others are talking about. Sure, the average christian has misunderstood what is god, but so have many "spiritual" people because it's a difficult topic. What is the difference between an "SD turquoise" enlightened person and an "SD blue" enlightened person?