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Honesty usually is viewed as a good habit for people to have, but ti can have some negative consequences. My question is when you should be honest. My honesty has angered people in the past and even destroyed friend groups. I see dishonesty no matter what the situation as a selfish action in which will always hurt longer than the truth. But after such a long time of being so damn honest I have reached a realization how cold my actions may have been. To make a hypothetical example, assume someone asked me if they are obese yet they were certainly obese. Should I lie to make the person feel better or be honest no matter how much the person doesn't want to hear it. I've asked a few people this question of honesty vs comforting lies and received a mixed bag of results. I ask this so that I can (possibly) draw a line in the sand were to be honest. (Note: I know honesty is heavily determined by the situation thus there may be no "line in the sand" when it comes to honesty.) Note 2 (to clear some things up): This is on the habits sub-forum because honesty is my habit Anyways, thanks for reading.

Thanks What a quite a clever way to conclude this subject. (I may need to apologize to some people now but hey at least I now have a valid point to do so.)

Good point. It seems as some questions have a deeper purpose then intended. From this I can conclude that it truly depends on the underlying purpose in which the question was asked. Thanks

Certainly how people word things can come off as judgement. In this case though usually I'm empathetic/conscious of my words due to my personality thus leading to a short and sweet response. So usually I answer with Yes or no. And if I can't answer with yes or no then the context of my reply still maintains as harmless to the listener as possible.

In other words I don't usually tell "truths" based upon opinions.

It is usually the truth, not a opinion. The issue is that the person is hurt by the truth. The situation I used in my 1st statement is usually the kind of issue I run into in which are not opinionated but factual. On the other hand if someone wants a opinions such as: Do I look nice ? I always say yes to these questions as they aren't factual. I rarely ever lie unless in danger.

I treat everyone I know with the same amount of honesty. (Unless they are known to use my or others information presented against people) Also can you be more clear on how to "segregate actions" I assume that you mean that how do you "change the topic." I'd say if you can manipulate people in ways that don't notice then you can avoid some of these situations. Manipulation is a skill you may need to develop though if you want to try thus method. In other words practice new ways of speech to your peers when you are in a social situation.

Sometimes in hard situations I try my best to be quiet while others people become suspicious of my silence and draw to conclusions. Usually there isn't really any "safe" option besides changing the topic in a subtle way.

Ah okay. I can relate to how you said I can relate in a sense to this as my friend constantly asked me about her own identity which was always putting me in the spot light. At the same time though she had some emotional issues. To take a different turn on this subject, we had a speaker in our state's high school on the topic of diversity. Apparently he was a big figure in the civil rights movement and even knew Mr. King. I got the chance to talk with him in a small group today and I asked the same hypothetical question mentioned above. The man told me something on the lines of, " if you were asked by a child if his drawing is nice then you would say it's nice." For a moment I thought about his response and internally asked, "well is that statement a ad hominem?' In some sense maybe, but still a interesting stance that I should've mentioned.

Thank you for the excellent reply. From reading your response I have noticed that my previous writings were in lack of elaboration. Your last remark I am well aware of on how I may have the key. The situation is that this key has been buried by all of my thoughts and conceptualizations on our world that it seems to not exist. My bad on the wording there. To address your thought on how I needed and still possibly need a break from society, I would say that would be a stretch (For me that is.) I've been introverted for the life that I've lived so far. (I have a long road ahead) Same for my twin which recently had gotten a diagnosis for Asperger. Would I say I have Asperger's syndrome, possibly, but I won't take that as truth without evaluation. Also applying a label such as Asperger's isn't what I'm going to use a scapegoat for all my problems nor a excuse to not act upon personal development. I mention this as my brother has done this in which adds one more negative belief on his collapsing self image. For my 'purpose', I would say that I've grasped that LARGE idea. My purpose I seek is to further understand existence and explain that information with the world (I value knowledge and philosophy a lot.) I found this out by aligning my ideals to myself with self inquiry and quite long sessions of thought. Lastly, I do want to go out to see more of the world in any manner, Whether its in forms of art or nature I want to see it. Overall I see from reading I am playing the game of a victim, a loser in the scheme of things. Your revaluation made me think more and I appreciate that.

For most of my own life my low self-esteem has been my and many others largest struggle. Overall, low self esteem has a tendency to have been caused by limiting beliefs brought up with you in your past. For myself, I am just only have reached the tip of the iceberg on this concept. I'm able to recognize these beliefs at times and evaluate them. For example, once I thought about taking on a new diet to then instantaneously without much thought I assumed "I'll will lose consistency." Awareness is something I've been working with to counteract these doubts when they summon into thought. Now these doubts have less power against me. Now, another one of my goals is to be able to have lasting motivation and stop my detrimental procrastination habits/lazy life-style I've been in for years. These issues have reached new heights of danger to my health and mental being. I encourage others to address topics of their own. Venting myself out to a knowledgeable community on this matter gives me a chance to further possible understanding of myself and others. I reckon that hopefully this simple topic will help others and that more constructive insight will help all who seek . ( As a side note, I WILL elaborate as much as I can If needed.) Thanks and have a pleasant day.

As a person right now I would say I'm not very productive, so take my word with a grain of salt. Simply I would recommend you to push yourself out of your comfort zone to possibly see even more results. Stepping up the pace isn't a bad idea from my perspective, just be aware when you are pushing yourself to far.