Electron

I don't really get it. You guys say its important or healthy or whatever But have you ever fucking tried not doing it for a long period, say an year? If not, How would you know what is healthy and what is not?

@Arik Thanks arik...!! Sorry for taking your time.!!

@Arik Can you share the link of the alan watts lecture you mentioned? I will be glad.

@Saitama Going out in the sunlight makes us susceptible to skin cancer but it also gives us Vitamin -D. Just like refraining from sexual activities predisposes one to prostate cancer but it also gives us lots and lots of energy and focus and time that we can use for richer fulfillment.

@shouldnt I feel sexual desire usually for very short periods, then it vanishes just like that, I just don't feel like masturbating. I used to do it when I was 16 but it wasn't that appealing and eventually I gave up. I noticed some drastic energy changes since then. Also it looks to me like you guys are making it like a rule in your mind that its not healthy or stuff like that to abstain from it. Its just a limiting belief that I think people use as an excuse not to refrain from the pleasure they get. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. And I don't feel like its really that important to live a healthy life. Try to refrain from it yourself over a long period of time and you'll see.

I am 20, I never had sex, never been in any relationships. I don't watch porn. I don't masturbate. Side effects: None.

@Draconis Chaser This might help:

My parents don't get my ways of life either. They just want me to play by the rules of the mainstream society. When i was inexperienced and new to all this rebel against the lifestyle normal people had, I used to argue my family members a lot and tried to persuade them to accept what I know as correct. What I learned as I get older is that the reason I wanted to change them is because somehow I was identifying their change with mine. And whenever I failed to accomplish any task I used to blame them on indulging me in their incorrect way of life, which was infact my own failure to motivate my self amidst the family drama. Also an important thing I discovered that all the point of views that my parents had about me and the world around are actually MY point of views of their point of views. They are in my head. So whenever they ask me to do anything that I don't, like socializing with people I don't resonate with, I still refuse but I not anymore feel any negative sensations or persuasion to tell them why I am right, nor I have anything against them.

India

@Ayla I don't think I stumbled at all in having a sense of what you mean by THAT. Even if that is a sense of something else which you never meant, which it probably is otherwise I would be enlightened right away. Do you somehow suspect that you are inducing wrong sense in people by possessing no means of fair expression? I think that sense highly depends on what we mean by what is expressed rather than what you mean by what you have expressed.

@Ayla But you are guiding us with what you post. I follow most of yours and leo's post. You guys give me some amazing insights. And if we dig deep, it seems like there are many experiential grounds which are basic to every human being. There has to be, otherwise words won't help people at all. And if that's really true then maybe if you practice expression and study how an expression of someone is diffused in someone else's mind then maybe you would be able to guide us even better.

@Ayla Even if you are clear with your word and associate each word precisely with the respective sensation you feel inside of you. How the hell are we gonna know that the word you speak is to be associated to this particular experience of ours. We are not even under the same grounds on an experiential standpoint. So words are eventually gonna mislead if we take your word for it, because we probably might associate it to some other experience of ours. That's why I think we need to do the shit ourselves.

@Thomas Maybe I should go with what you guys are suggesting. Also, who am I to say its trivial, after all i never really participated with a faith that it will yield something good for me. I have been a strong manipulator of the talks though, by digressing the topics in concern to what I find appealing. And sometimes, as you say, I learn new things. Also, to clarify, I am not taking about interacting with higher beings, masters and high intellectuals, or maybe someone you resonate with completely. I am just talking about average complacent people. So maybe even you learn something from this person, do you think its really worth your energy and time? Would you rather not walk alone in a forest, or read a book, or contemplate about life or meditate?(As there is a lot yet to learn from life) So more importantly is it relatively more satisfying? Apart from that I would love to socialize with people like you and that on this forum. Its just that I've never encountered one in real life.

@Isle of View Well thats the urge to share things to people, which they might find interesting. But I think that this urge is egoistic.

@Isle of View Why do you think I post things in this forum?

@Spacious I agree with you. I am completely aware that everything if looked hard enough makes us learn something about ourself. And these interactions can also yield some amazing revelations and insights, but thats what I agreed from the start. I just am not into hanging around with the same people after I've had my share of insights and stay stuck with them, being involved in the stupid bonds of friendships. like for example I would love to hang out with a highly intellectual person and learn things from him about life and stuff but i would not like to be around a cousin of mine from whom I have nothing new to learn. (It doesn't mean I don't love him). Also we can't really use people as a book, learn from them, and then put them aside. At times, we need to play by their rules for them to accept us and feel comfortable around us. Then they do their share of attempts to please us too so that they can feel like this person is accepting me and one needs to give them space to do that. So you see, lots of time and energy is wasted to be on the same grounds to have a quality conversation. Then comes the ego game if the person is not a high conscious being. So you gotta accomodate his ego and avoid hurting it using the proper choice of words. This is the classical obstacles one needs to overcome before interacting and you are not always sure whether its going to result in something valuable or not.

@Water Well you can say that in this aspect , life hasn't surprised me yet..!!

@Mad Cat You are right, I might be avoiding it because its hard for me and as an excuse labeling it as trivial. But don't you think that people are OUR perception? and all the emotions that a real time interaction with someone stimulates in us are felt in OUR body by the the virtue of judgements and beliefs we have conditioned in OUR minds. In a way isn't it almost like reading a book. Isn't it also a belief that this is a real person and this is a real interaction? Also these are also mere beliefs but I have a belief that they are right. Again I might be wrong, I just have so much against it, that its hard to get my ass up and socialize.

@Toasty Mostly self-help @Mad Cat Well ofcourse socialization is healthy, its just not in my view important, Also the whole concept of ego in a way revolves around socialising, ego wants to matter, matter among others. Thats what most of the socialization is based upon, so that the ego can feel safe , so that it can feel special. That is also the motivation behind my social interactions I suppose. Apart from that, being alone I think is highly underrated. I find myself growing spiritually and emotionally. I am getting better at math. Also, I don't regard myself as alone, I have the universe

@WillYou are stuck in the enigma of choices. You might be using choices as an excuse not to choose any one thing and putting your effort and time in mastering that thing. You gotta go with something. Your love will grow gradually for that thing. Love won't come to you first and kick you in the ass to work on that thing. How can you love something before literally hanging out with it and understanding it? If somehow you are able to develop a sense of love beforehand, its probably a fiction, or a love for something else which that thing is not, which might make you not like that thing first when you really experience it for real as you were in love with something else. That's why there is a little bit of grind at the start which you need to overcome before you really start to appreciate that thing for what it really is.

@Toasty In a way we are always learning whether we label it as learning or not. Even if you play video games, you are learning how to play better. I just thing its better to learn things of value. For fun I go out for walks, watch documentaries, use this forum, and read books.

You won't get it there just by self introspection. Passion means a sense of love for something. And to love something you need to develop love for that thing, not meditate. So all you gotta do is fall in love, and to fall in love you need to see the beauty of that thing, and to see the beauty of that thing you need to condition your judgements about that thing in a healthy way. To tell you the truth, you can literally pick any random thing and develop a strong love for that by conditioning your mind about that thing.

You can for sure if you do a lot of self inquiry and meditation when not masturbating..!

I am too going in June, going to attend two retreats one after another. I wonder how better I will become.